Potty Training HELP! - Chesterfield,VA

I'd say he's probably not ready. I'd back off, but still keep the potty stuff (potty, books, underwear) around for him to look at, play with. Then try again in a month or so. If you get the same response, take another month off.

I've had a crazy time with my son. He'll be 4 in March and still not potty trained. But we've been dealing with poop withholding for a year now, so just getting him to go (more than once every 2 weeks) regardless of where it happened has been my primary focus. It seemed to me that something just clicked in his head - ie, he was just ready. Last month he was peeing in the potty throughout the day and even woke me up at 7am for about a week to tell me he had to use the potty. His nighttime diaper was dry. I have him pooping on the potty each evening. But since the holiday's, he hasn't been initiating peeing in the potty and tells me he doesn't have to go when I ask. So, wet pull-ups.

What I realize with him is that there's a huge control issue. I'm trying not to force him (except for the pooping as he doesn't get it all out in the pull-up, only when I make him push it out on the potty - we've been through too many enemas/suppositories, fibers, laxatives to regress.) As much as I hate the idea of my almost 4 year old being in diapers (also have a DD age 2 and another due in 5 weeks), I think pushing is not the way to go.

I would wait unti he is older. The average age for a child to potty train is 2 1/2 but boys tend to be several months later. They say that starting too early can actually make potty training last much longer and be much more difficult. My daughter showed initial interest when she was 2 but then stopped after a month or so. The day her sister came home from the hospital (at almost 3 years) she announced she was done with diapers. And that was it except for night time. Everyone I know who just waited said it was a snap. I forced the issue with my youngest. She kept getting bad yeast rashes that wouldn't go away so at about 2 3/4 years I put her in underpants for a few days. After the 3rd day I gave up because she wasn't even trying. When I tried to put a diaper on the the following day she decided that she didn't want it. I gave her that day to prove she could do it and she did. If you really want him potty trained now you could try that. Maybe he will get used to the feel of not wearing a diaper and not want to go back. Good Luck!

Hola K.... Yes, just keep plugging along. It will get better... One thing that I really found worked with my son, and it may sound a little silly but he loved it and it made him want to pee all the time... I put cheerios in the toilet (the big toilet and he had a little step stool he would stand on) and told him the game was to see how many cheerios he could hit/pee on!! It was entertaining for him and for awhile, it kept his attention to keep going back to the toilet... I would ask him through out the day if he had to pee, and if he did, I would tell him it was time to "feed the fish" and we would toss the cheerios in and he would go at it!! I know, it sounds crazy but it worked for us... maybe you could give that a try??!! My advice though, would be to keep plugging along and not give up!! Good luck!

I know your frustration. My son wasn't potty trained until he was 3 1/2 years old. He will be 4 tomorrow and he still has accidents. We tried everything as well when he turned three and I finally decided he just wasn't ready. We felt that letting him decide when he was ready was the best route. Keeping the potty out and around with no pressure to use it worked for us. He finally decided to use it on his own. Good luck to you and Happy New Year.

Hi, we are in mid stride with potty training our 2 1/2 year old son. He's a character and informs us all the time that he needs a diaper change. The potty is still a thing of wonder but not always a place of success. What has been working for us most consistently is making potty time a part of a very familiar routine. Our ped. suggested a bedtime potty visit. So no pressure, he gets undressed, sits on the potty (goes sometimes and other times nothing), then continue of with bath, teeth brushing etc... He evens gets excited to go on the potty. Obviously we are not fully or even half way potty trained but he's interested and he goes more times than not. We're working to add it to other routines like the AM get dressed, go potty, etc....

Another tip that we've tried for encouraging daytime potty visits is drinking while sitting on the potty. Our son loves juice so we dilute it and have him sit. Very cold liquid works very fast and he feels successful and theres no chance of going in the diaper if he's drinking while sitting on the potty! (snagged this idea from an episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8)

Good luck, share what works, as we are always

When I potty trained my first son, he hated the potty chair so he wouldn't use it. Someone had said something to me about putting him on the big potty backwards to go both poop and pee. So I tried it and it WORKS! Something about boys and the visual aspect of them seeing what comes out of their little bodies. LOL We have since had 2 more boys and all 3 were trained before they were 2 yrs old but not because we started but because they started wanting to try. We just helped them along and they did it!

It's worth a try, huh? Have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Take Care,
N.:) Married to my Mr. Wonderful for 15yrs. SAHM homeschooling 3 boys 13, 8 & 2 1/2yrs old. I love to help other moms, who want to become SAHMs, reach that goal!

Hi K.,
First let me say be patient. Boys tend to take a while longer to potty train than girls. What I did when my little man was the same age as your son, was....as soon as he got up in the mornings, I would have him sit on the potty. If he was not having any luck going, I would turn the water in the sink on just a slow but steady stream. The sound of water seemed to help him get the idea. Make potty time fun. Sit with him and sing songs or read a book. Have something special for him for when he does have a success (I have used stickers, gummy bears, m&m's, small toys, and just about anything else you can imagine). I used to keep my son's rewards in the bathroom where he could see them while he was trying, just a little more incentive to go. It sounds like you are off to a good start, as long he will willingly sit on the potty. I found that if you fight with them, it makes them not want to go.

It may be that your little man is just not completely ready for the plunge into potty training, but since you have taken the first step stick with it, he will get it eventually. Make sure though that your babysitter is willing and able to follow through with what you are doing at home. If not, it will all be in vain.

Good Luck!

Hi K.
I know it can be frustrating but whatever you do please don't stop. It took my son 2 weeks to get it down and it has been great ever since. It will just click one day. Let him run around a little bit w/out anything on that might help him to go. Good Luck I know it's very frustrating. L.

Hi, K.!
I also have a 2 year old son who we are beginning to potty train. The advise I was given from a group of childcare providers I belong to is to take my son every 15 minutes to start with and then build on the time to 30 minutes as he is succesful. And use a reward system.. my son loves the sticker potty charts. You can find some free ones to print off the 'net.

Another woman also took her son every 5 minutes.. I know that is a lot and I don't have the patience for that myself.

The otehr things I do is before nap/bedtime and after bathtime. The bathtime is most effective for me personally since he is already in the buff! We usually have success, but not always! I have times when he refuses to sit on the potty and goes on the floor instead. It is part of the learning curve, I suppose.

Oh, and when he does start using the big potty, I will use cheerios to help him aim for the toilet! It makes it a game when they are able to stand and potty. Just for future reference! ;o)

Hang in there! Boys can be tough to potty train! Good luck!
G.

From what you said, he seems a lot like my son. My son really wasn't ready until a little after he turned 3. I'd stop for a week or two and then try again. It may be good to set a date by which it has to happen though. For my son, it was when preschool started again. Maybe his 3rd birthday or a special trip or something you guys have coming up?

your doing it exactly right. The reason you have to take him so often is because you are trying to get in there before he pee's. If he's peeing all day that's good that means the odds of getting it are better so keep up the good work and when you finally do get in to the potty when he is ready to pee you congratulate him big time. I personally don't do the toys or sticker reward at this age they don't really understand the connection. BUT they Do understand you did a great job and hugs and kisses. So than the next time if he completely understands will work with you and also try to get himself to the potty. After a few successful trips to the potty and lots of hugs and kiss he will start also helping. It will take a few days for this to go home to him. So just keep doing what your doing. I only put diapers or pull ups on at night. (Honestly i don't use pull ups because they are more expensive and they don't believe they are real under ware anyway.)Plus you can also tell when they are wet in under ware and not with pull ups. Good luck on your next few days.

With our son, soon to be 3, we put a potty chair in the living room. He was trained in 3 days. I pretty much did nothing for those days. Just concentrated on him, to catch when he would start to go on himself. We got rid of diapers completely for him (he has a younger brother). We explained he was a big boy and didn't need them anymore. He soon got he idea that he liked going on the potty and not on himself, but we also used the reward system. With him it was cars. I bought car stickers, made a chart and after so many times we would go and he could pick out a car. He got one sticker when he peed and two when he went poop. He went potty in the potty chair for like two weeks (we left it sitting in the living room.) Then we went and he got to pick out his potty seat for the big toilet. He pooped in hs big boy pants twice and that was all it took. Never did that again. We still use pull-ups at night sometimes, depending on how much he has drank and if he went potty before bed. Maybe you could use the reward system. It doesn't last forever. Though we have left his chart up (he likes to point out the different cars) he no longer askes for the stickers or to go get a car). I hope this helps you out in some way. (I used the three day potty training ebook, that another mom had sent to me. If you would like the info let me know)

I guess it took him about a good 2 months before he got it.It also helped when he went to the bathroom with his dad and seening the big kids at the daycare.Alot A lotof praises work also.Good luck.Don't give up and don't go backwards,if you started keep going.Pulls are a waste to me I will stick to the underwear.My son use to wet about the same amount.

He is not ready!!! Don't push it. The average age for boys to potty train these days is 3 to 3 1/2. My pediatrican said they are truly ready when they can 1. tell you that they went in their diaper and 2. tell you that they have to go. The worst thing you can do is put pressure on him.

don't let it get you frustrated- it will only progect onto him. don't fret, all kids take their own time, don't let the pressures of parents around you make you think you /or him is failing somehow. When my child was ready, about 3, we used his currency. With him it was temp tattoo's- everytime he went, he got one. Then we moved to a chart and ten pee's got a special toy (already something he really wanted. He'll go when he's ready. Good luck and don't freak out-it just makes it harder.

I just got my son potty trained by using a reward chart with blank spaces for pictures of the Little Einsteins (which I printed out on the computer and cut into small square). We put a character's picture in the spot each time he went in the potty (I used an index card with numbers above the squares that I made with a black marker). He was so excited to put the pictures in (or stickers whatever works for you), and we told him he's getting a Little Einstein toy once the card is full. So far, only one accident!

SO now you have every response in the book!!!
When he was wearing a diaper, was he telling you each time he peed or pooped? Is he telling you right before he had to pee or poop? Those are signs he is ready to train. 2.5 is young for a boy, and pushing it may take you 6 months, instead of waiting until he is giving you cues that he is ready, and then you will probably have a much faster train.
Idea: Instead of pushing peeing on the potty, work on the other fundementals with him. Getting dressed and undressed by himself (so he can pull up and down his pants for the potty), washing hands (and showing him you washing your hands every time you use the toilet & letting him do it with you, wash, rinse, dry), letting him get up on the potty with his cloths on (so no pressure to pee), get off, close hte lid and flush. These are all "steps" that need to be worked on so thay are a natural addition to peeing. That way when he is physically ready to train his bladder, the rest of the steps are in place. "Potty" training is actaully much more than just learning to go pee on the potty!! Imagine a young mind trying to figure out learning all that at once.
Best of luck,
K.

I agree, keep it up for at least 10 days to give him a chance to learn this new skill, it is a skill that takes time. If you can get a stepstool...put a cheerio or food coloring in the toilet and get him to "hit the target" or "change the color" in the toilet. You'll have to help him aim at first. Actually, he may be able to do that sitting down too, which would mean much less cleaning up for you. When my son would have accidents in his underwear I would say in a positive fun voice, "run to the potty" and we'd run there. On day three he was having an accident and said "run to the Potty" and it was a huge breakthrough and he made progress daily after that. I hear you about it being so frustrating when he has an accident after just sitting on the potty! Fisher Price makes a potty chair that plays music, I had to demonstrate it, but after that my son wanted to go in it. I agree about taking him first thing in the morning! Also, you might try having him pee on a tree if you are up for it, my son loved that and if I'd forgotten to take him to the bathroom before we got in the car, it made us both happy. Good luck, by keeping it positive your son can be very proud of his new skill when you're done. I also gave my son other grown up things to do, so I could talk about his progress in all areas, not just potty training. Things like setting the table, feeding the dogs, etc.

I'm not sure how much weight this response will hold, as I started very early with potty training, but here is what my experience was.
I started getting my daughter acquainted with the potty before she was even walking (about 8 months old). I had read a book entitled 'The Diaper-free Baby' that had really sound logic about potty training early and I decided to give it a shot. It was seriously right before her first birthday that she actually went in the potty - twice in one day. That's four months of no real results and pretty steady consistency. She's now 20 months old and almost completely potty trained.
Three days is a drop in the bucket (no pun intended :). You've really gotta keep being consistent, cleaning up messes, and DON'T stress over it. You're stressing will only cause him to stress, which won't yield anything positive. You might try using cloth diapers (there are a ton of online sites for these) as it will give him the same effect as what you're going for with underwear, only it will hold at least some of what's coming out.
Good luck!

You might try just giving him a but more time. My daughter is 3 and I tried to train her at 2.5 and she did it once and then had 3 accidents. I waited another 2 months and she wanted to wear her bathing suit to "camp" without a swim diaper, I told her she had to pee in the potty. She did. We never looked back and she trained through the night a month later. Now that all sounds great except she is my second child. My first is now 5 (a boy), he still can't go through the night and we just bought a watch that beeps on the hour to remind him to try so he doesn't have any dampness on his underwear (he doesn't have full fledged accidents but is slightly wet a few times a day a couple days a week.) The watch has been a life saver!! Basically, my advice is wait - although diapers are a pain, accidents are mentally and physically tougher on everyone. A friend of mine has 6 kids and she does the no diaper or underwear thing for a weekend and by the end she has a trained child. She had one tough one like my 5 year old and that made her start later like 2 3/4 - 3 years with the rest. Hope that helps and good luck. Try really hard not to let it get to you.

I think the biggest thing with potty training is to take your time and not stress out. It is a huge milestone. Their whole life they just pee and poop whenever and wherever and now there are rules for this. My favorite potty training tool is The Once Upon a Potty dvd. You can borrow it from Netflix. I let my kids watch it over and over and over in the living room with no pants on. I have them sit on their little potty while they watch and I give them lots to drink. They eventually will accidentally go in the potty and then we celebrate like crazy. I also give "potty candy" m&m's or skittles they get 1 for #1 and 2 for #2. I have never had a problem with ending this reward once they are very secure with the whole potty thing. I would try for a week or two and if it is stressing everyone out and he is not getting it then I would stop entirely and wait about a month and then try again. He will get it in his own time.

My son turned 3 today and is still not PT. He shows interest sometimes and other times he couldn't care less about using the potty. I just read a book about it and it says to wait until the little one really shows interest and don't rush it. It is a pain in the butt, but I'd rather wait until he's completely ready than stress the whole family out.

Good luck!

remember he's a very little guy. he's not even 3. he sounded excited because you made it sound exciting, but your frustration will surely make it difficult for him. i'd let it go until you're feeling the zen again.
remember, he just doesn't understand. what seems easy and logical to you is not tracking for him yet. 3 days is really not very long, and 2 1/2 is not very old.
relax.
khairete
S.

HI- I have three-year-old twins who are still working on PT- In three months of "trying" My little boy has peed a total of three times and poo'd once. (!) My little girl tells me she's just pretending. EVERY time. ugh! :)

I read a ton of potty books and basically they allll say the same thing, They'll get it when they get it. Your job is just to provide the opportunity. repeatedly. Our fun comes in when they both want to try at that same time and then run off in separate directs, sans pants!!

As far as them being ready- I think my boy is more ready than my girl, which is surprising as they say that girls get it faster than boys, but he wakes up from nap with a dry diaper, and she has not yet. (and she has the more "controlling" personality- go figure!)

so hang in there- he'll get it eventually. I personally do not believe ANY of those books/people who say you can potty train in a weekend. I think the only time that works is if you just happen to have picked the exact moment your child was ready. Good luck!!!

3 days isn't very long (even though it seems like it when you have to clean up pee!)..everyone has a different rate of success...I think he will get it - good advice on giving him rewards. It will give him something to look forward to. Also - have him clean up his own messes. If he can pee his pants, then he also has to wipe himself, put his underwear in the laundry, get new underwear, etc...this will maybe take more time for you to wait for him to do it, but it will also take time out of his free time and he will get the point...eventually. Good luck!

i'd say he's not ready. it's amazing but they actually do train themselves when they want to ( not exactly when we want them to do it).

I always greatly admired those that could train in one to 3 days. For my daughter, we ended up putting a potty in the living room in front of the TV for a while until she got the hang of it. We didn't succeed until she was over 3 yrs old, but that is partly because we had a new baby that delayed it a bit. We had to find the right motivation for her (tastycakes and ho hos). Some people have had success with donut munchkins, m&ms, wrapped dollar store presents. For some reason, the dvd No More Diapers has sparked interest in both of my kids. It has 2 little bears learning to use the potty. My son is 2 1/2 and he is right where your son is, willing to sit but getting nothing out. We were going to try to get it done this week but we all got sick, so not going to happen. Good luck.

Every child is different. Perhaps your boy is not ready yet. Just have him go to the bathroom with Daddy. Let him watch Daddy do it. Kids like to copy what they see. Don't pressure him. Let him see this as a normal event. When he finally gets the idea praise him for a job well done. AF

Hi K.! When I started, I would put her on the toilet as soon as she woke up. Have you tried using the children size toilet seat? My daughter will not go on a potty but she will go on the toilet. Also, i put her on it while she's drinking or run water in the sink while she's on it. That helps. Good luck!

He doesn't sound ready. Read the book POTTY TRAINING SUCKS. It will help you through anything.