Potty Training Help - Springfield,OH

Dear T.,

I thinkpotty training is one of the hardest things to teach a person. I was amazed at how challenging it was with each of my children. Then suddenly, each one overcame the obstacle (and for each it was different) and they were trained! Your son will be trained, too. In some ways #1 is harder becasue of how frequently they have to go. You are doing a great job.

My son was really afraid to poop. He would hold his in and did become constipated once which only made matters worse. I bought him some Thomas the Train undies and he decided he didn't want to poop in these, but then would get really upset when it was time to flush. (Speaking of which he only used his little seat to do poops.) This may seem weird, but I would actually pretend the poops were talking to him and have them thank him for letting them out and then ask him to send them to swimm with all their other friends. Now he is hapy to let them out and then a bit reluctant but agrees to flush them, too. It helped. I remember feeling like you do and would have tried anything, so embarrassing as this is, I figured I would tell you. Best of luck.

Potty training alone is always difficult and potty training for #2 is even worse... My daughter was very difficult to potty train. She too has symptoms of mild autism (she's currently undergoing testing for a more formal diagnosis) So I'm assuming that it's harder for children with these issues as well.

Time is all that helped my daugher. I did many of the things that have been suggested to you. I brought my daughter to the store and let her pick out special "Big girl potty panties." That seemed to help because she didn't want to dirty her special panties but over all she just wasn't going to fully train until she was ready. My daughter was 5 before she was fully potty trained and even then she had occasional accidents until she was well into 6 years of age. (Mostly at night and when she was in unfamiliar places)

Talking with the school can help. Since your child has been diagnosed with PDD the school has to make adjustments for him, one can be his use of the potty. I would try to talk to the school staff now and see what you can work out.

Keep up all of the things you're doing now, they're all things that seemed to help both of my children (sticker charts, potty seats, etc.) We even found a potty seat that played music when you sat on it. My daughter LOVED it and would look forward to using the potty just to hear the music. There's also a movie, I can't remember the name but it's abot using the potty and it comes with a book about the same. Being around other kids his age that use the potty is also another way to encourage him to use it too. Maybe you could set up a reward chart for so many days without accidents = a reward of some type. Encouragement and time are all it's going to take and eventually he'll get the hang of it. I know it's trying at times and can really get frustrating when you know you're doing all you can think of. He'll get the hang of it, you're doing everything right to help him along the way! In time, it'll happen. :)

First of all, he can sense your anxiety and frustration - even if you aren't voicing it, kids pick up on that - especially autistic kids (I've worked with several over the years). I would ease off and try again in a couple of weeks - don't make a big deal out of it. He doesn't "have" to be potty trained completely until next year, right? I mean, that's the goal - I know you want it to be sooner than that. I would try having him poop into a dry potty seat. I know that's harder to clean, but so is underwear that he's pooped in! Maybe the "backsplash" is scaring him (you know, when the toilet water comes back up and splashes you). Try telling him he has to help you clean up the underwear if he poops in it. (rinse it out, dump the poop in the toilet, flush, etc.) Try taking him to the store and letting him pick out some "special" underwear - trains, Superman, whatever he's into - and telling him that if you get him the underwear, he has to keep it clean - no pooping in it! He wouldn't want Superman (or whatever) to get dirty.
Just some suggestions! Hope that helps! E.

Since you live in Ohio, my suggestion is not to put him in Kindergarten next year if he isn't ready. I would enroll him in public preschool where there is a mixture of Typicall and A-Typicall children (children with and without disabilities). The teachers will help with the toilet training and it will help him prepare for Kindergarten.
My daughter was a late toilet user and pooping was much harder than just peeing and I do not understand that at all, I think it is just normal. Be consistant with what you are doing without being forceful. I fear he might regress from peeing in the toilet if it becomes tooo big of an issue. My fear comes from making the mistake myself.