Potty Training Help!!! - Grapevine,TX

HI!!! I believe that they let you know when they are ready. It was all the sudden one day with my son. My husband actually did it. My son said he wanted to wear underwear....his dad said ok from now on only underwear. That was the end of the pull ups. He did have a couple of accidents for the fist few weeks but we never resorted back to pull ups. You also don't want to punish for accidents and overly praise when they are doing good. If you get upset if they pee then they only get frustrated and depressed that you are upset. Just let them know to KEEP TRYING and they can do it!!! Good luck!!!

When I was trying to potty train my daughter, she simply refused to cooperate. I finally decided when she was ready, she would let me know. Many of my friends children didn't potty train until after they were 3. I found with my daughter, the more important I made it, the less likely she was to actually tell me she had to go. Once I let of it, put her in pull-ups and let her make her own decision as to when to potty train, things got better. It still took her several months before she decided she was ready, but when she was, she only had one accident in the day and one at night. While it was hard to let go of the issue, once I did, we were all happier.
Good Luck! A.

My 3yr-2mth old son just starting using the potty last week, finally. I had tried everything w/ him and decided to give up. Then out of the blue Sunday morning he woke up and wanted to use the potty. I make a big deal of the success, tell everyone we know in front of him. He is seeing and feeling the rewards of being a Big Boy. That is the greatest motivator.

It has to be a want for them. Lay low, ask and direct but let them make the decision. It will happen one day when you least expect it.

My older son, was trained at 2 yrs....so I was getting extremely frustrated w/ my 3 yr old still in diapers...but really when I laid off, he got it. We are still working on BM's in the potty, but he is making progress and I am overjoyed.

hang in there, soon enough it will happen. Susan

I am a mother of 3. I went through a similar situation with my son. With my oldest we tried everything, and finally I layed off and put pull ups on him. One day, he came to me and said he wanted to wear underwear. He didn't have anymore accidents. With my 3 year old, we did a sticker chart that worked really well. Just a piece of posterboard with little stickers. When he peed he got one sticker, 2 for poop. I let him pick out the stickers and put them anywhere he wanted to on the chart. I wish you luck. I know it is hard, but hang in there!

It sounsd like perhaps the only thing you haven't tried is to just give it a rest. Tell her that she knows when she needs to go potty and it is her responsibility to let you know so you can take her to the bathroom. And the leave it at that for awhile. It might just be too much pressure on her, and too little control over the potting situation for her. And waht I did with my son is that when he wet his pants, we always changed them in the bathroom. No big deal, nothing said about not using the potty, but bathroom stuff happens in the bathroom and so we'd just clean up in there.

Tell your family to butt out! All kids mature in this at their own pace. It seems that the average is 3.5 years for kids to potty train. The 18 month olds that just "do it" one day are below the norm!

Something a friend rec'd I do when my almost 3 year old seemed to willfully not go to the bathroom, but was obviously ready & knew how it felt, etc. was to ask her if she was ready to start using the potty. I "asked" her in 3 different ways during the same conversation to find out where she was on this issue. As stupid & out of control as it felt asking my kid if she wanted to go potty like a big girl, it did the trick. Once she felt me stop fighting her & it became "her" idea to use the toilet, it was fine. Zero problems after that day! She is a very bright, rather willful kid. With kids like that potty training can easily become a war of wills instead of a matter of conditioning.

Another thing- get a timer & EVERY hour ON the hour, it's "time to try." No matter what! I will tell my youngest (4 1/2) who has a week or two of unexplicable regression every 3 or four months, "You are going now. No more playing, no more TV, no more whatever until you go, then you can come right back to whatever it was you were doing." It seems to work with her logical mind.

Good luck. I know how frustrating these times are!
D.

I used the Potty Training 123 book by Gary Ezzo and worked great. It has you focus on the child staying clean and dry instead of focusing on giving rewards only for going potty. It is supposed to put you more in control of the potty training rather than the child. I know there are lots of books out there on how to potty training, but this is just the one I tried and it worked. Good luck!

Try every 2 hours to BOTH of you go potty together. Get her the potty seat, teach her to trasfer it to the big potty and both of you flush together. Make it a big deal for both of you to go at the same time. When you dont have to go potty TRY anyways and show her that even mommy tries to go potty. Up your liquid intake for this durration. Maybe doing it together is what she needs. Good Luck

She sounds like a repeat of my son. I figued since he counted to ten at 18 months he would surely want to not want to sit in his own stool. WRONG!!! I tried everything you have said (with the exception of taking away toys) and nothing worked.

At his third birthday, he became very ill. It was three weeks of vomiting and diarreah and it ultimately put him in the hospital. Needless to say all of our potty training efforts were completely ditched during this time. The doctors said it could take a month or two before he GI system recoverd and we were told by our doctor to not try potty training for another month at least. A week after his last episold of vomiting and diarreah and no pressure from us, we noticed one day that his diaper was dry all day. We were worried there was something wrong, but he said, "No, I go in the potty now."

Moral of the story? Ask them to try for every hour or two, but don't make a big deal of it like I did.
I think it is possible that so much pressure and expectaions are put on kids to potty train early that it could actually make them afraid to fail. I know it sounds crazy, but think about it. You said she is really smart, hu? This is probably the first thing you have seen her "fail" at. The whole goal is to make it her accomplishment, not her failure.

I hope you can ditch the diapers soon....
Liz

P.S. Since it is winter, try putting adult tube socks on her as leggings with a shirt but NO underwear or pull-ups. Keep a potty in the room with her(we used BabyBjorn~$11). She may just think it is an inconvenience to take off her clothes and walk to the bathroom!

P.S.S. I couldn't help but notice that you classified this question under "discipline and behavior". Try not to think of it that way, instead, maybe "development".

Hi A.,
Here is what I tell my fully trained (occasional accident) 26 Mo. Old son when he tells me “NO, I don’t have to go!”

“Son, you have a choice to make, you can either put all of your toys down and sit on the couch for a while or go and try to potty real quick!”

If he still tells me know I ask him if he meant to say Yes Ma’am to mommy (or the teachers at school)? 9 times out of 10 he gets a smile, says YES MA’AM and runs to the bathroom!

Good Luck!
E.

Wow! That sounds exactly like my daughter! She'll be 3 in June,, adn she does the exact same thing! She'll go at school for the most part, with quite a few accidents a week, but at home, it's like she turns it off, you know? I don't have any great advice but would like to hear any you might recieve! The only thing I do is take her pants off and put her on the potty to make her do it even if she says she doesn't need to. Most of the time that works, but you really have to stay on top of it which is my problem. I take hr in the mrning before she is fully awake, strip her clothes down and set her on the potty immediately. Sometimes she whines about it, but always goes right away! Good luck and please share your progress with me, I could use the help, too! -H.