Potty Training Issues - Carrollton, TX

I don't think it has anything to do with potty training-- I think she wants Mom and Dad time. It's hard when a new baby comes home and they get most of the attention. When you change her diaper, it is the one time of the day that you are completely concentrated on her. Lots of kids have a hard time with potty training because of this.

Just something to think about! Good luck!

She is not ready for potty training yet. I have a two year old son who did the same thing. I got so excited and bought him character underwear and pullups. I got a reward system of marshmallows in place and he did great for a few days. Then he just stopped. He started back by pooping in his pull-up. I tried to set the clock and take him in every 30 minutes, but that was a pain and he peed between trips anyway. I remember this same thing with both of my daughters. One was fully trained by two (I just let her tinkle her "big-girl panties" and would just change her and clean up the mess...this lasted a few days but then she was trained (they have to associate the full bladder feeling with the wet feeling and then they can anticipate the feeling and get to the potty) My other daughter did this faux-potty thing when she was 18 mos old. She started out the same but then quit and never cared if she was wearing wet underwear (which got quite gross as she sat everywhere without telling me she was wet). I just gave up, went back to diapers and she eventually started telling me she had to go potty. They will do it when they are ready! My nephew was five and informed his parents that when he was six he would get potty trained! talk about stubborn. AS for the tantrums, I don't think it has to do with the potty, she is just starting to assert herself in different ways and now sees herself as an individual.

we used the 'cool' pull ups and my son could've cared less. didn't bother him one way or the other.

I think you need to forget about the potty for a few weeks and see if that helps the other behavior. she's trying to exert some control over her environment by acting out.

Try some Love and Logic on her (if you don't already). that will help her feel in control more without you GIVING up control.

My daughter did the same thing. It does pass- hers went on for about 2 months and then she started turning on the light herself, flushing herself, and wiping herself (that took a little time though) and she has NEVER worn a pull up to bed and we have only had 2 accidents in the past year. My daughter loves to "read" on the potty so that helped the process along since you sit there a while to "read" a book and she wound up training herself. Hope this helps. Hang in there : )

Sounds just like the issues that I had with my oldest daughter, who is now 4 and fully potty trained. It's definitely not something that you can push on them. They have to want to do it. My daughter went in and out of wanting to use the potty. We didn't push it. We tried to make it fun by getting her a little potty that played music when she used it. We also got her a video called Once Upon A Potty. She would watch the video and sit on her potty. It seemed a little inappropriate at first letting her sit on the potty in the middle of the living room, but it worked. From what I hear, all children are different, but I think the best tip that I got was not to push it. They will learn when they are ready, but it doesn't hurt to try to make it fun for them. It will happen. It just takes time & patience.

I would strongly recommend the 3-day potty training guide. You can download it from the internet. It SAVED me in a HUGE way! I potty trained my twin boys at 27 months with this method and they have been doing excellent! They are now 29 months and pretty much accident-free! Only when they got sick and had diarrhea have they had accidents! Good luck!

Those pull ups that get cold when they go in them really bothered my daughter. She cried and screamed the first time she went in them and then she stopped potty training that same day. It took us a good two weeks just to trust potty training again. I don't know if she's just overly sensitive or what but I'm not going to use those with my second daughter who's about to start training.

I agree with the previous poster about the cool touch pull ups. My friend's daughter freaked out when she used them too. I think it scared her. I got the "feel and learn" kind that just don't pull the moisture away and let them feel wet (although I question how well they actually work). I think the best thing to do when they start out training is just to take them every hour or so throughout the day until they understand the concept of telling you when they have to go. My daugther has just started also and is beginning to understand that she has to tell us, but doesn't always do it, so we "remind" her every hour or hour and a half and she almost always goes when we take her. Do you let her read books or play with anything while she's on the potty? Sometimes when my daughter is distracted is exactly when she relaxes enough to actually go. Just some thoughts. I don't have this figured out by any means (I was ready to give up a couple of weeks ago!), but we seem to be making progress and I'm sure you will too.

I vaguely remember that scenario at 2 1/2 yrs. They're ready, but it's a control issue... I started to offer her something she really liked for going in the potty. I started with a sticker chart, but the real clincher was M&Ms(just 2 & then we would discuss the colors).. worked like a charm.

I think each time a child makes a big jump in the next stage of growing up, they regress a little in other areas. (Your daughter's misbehavior.) It might not neccisarily mean she's not ready, just that she needs a little reassurance that everything is still the same. Maybe this big change is a little scary. It sounds like you're already doing the right thing by not pushing her and letting her know it's OK if she's not ready. But, WOW! you know how to go on the potty now, if you are ready!
Sometimes making up stories helps my daughter. For example, you could tell her a story about a princess who was growing up so big. Everyone was so proud of her, but then she got worried. Would her little prince brother still blah blah blah or would her parents still giver her such 'n such at bedtime, etc. Of course end it with everything staying the same except the princess was just bigger.

Give your child something to do on the potty - like look at a book. IF she is having a hard time going, give her something to drink while she is sitting. Then when she goes peepee in the potty, or has her bm, reward her with something she likes but that she will only get when she pottys. Maybe a M&M or two.

My daughter did the same thing...I think they feel the pressure more than we realize. Once I just relaxed, encouraged her to go several times a day (around the same time each day), and encouraged her, she actually started doing pee and poop on her own. It was like all of a sudden she got it and wanted to do it. I think sometimes we see that they can undress, get on the potty, dress again, so we think all is in alignment and she should just do it, but the maturation part of their development is not something we can really 'train' so we have to be patient. I would keep her in diapers until she is dry for two weeks (I read that and it relieved me of so much mess and stress). We did that and it was great. The week after my daughter turned three, she was doing it all on her own. She has had a couple of accidents, but nothing out of the norm. We did use pullups at the end (although I vowed not to ever use them) because my daughter wanted to wear them. If she stayed dry, I let her wear it, if it was wet, she went back into a diaper. No lectures, just "so sad, keep this dry and we will try again". She really wanted them so she would try to stay dry. That is how we got to the two weeks dry. Right now she wears them at night, but she has been dry in the morning five mornings (that was our goal) so she is in panties tonight.

What a process, huh?

I would not worry too much about these type variations in your daughters behaviors and/or training. All children are different and potty training is no exception.

Encourage her to go to the bathroom when you do too, so it can be a kind of mommy/daughter thing. Make a big deal when she goes, and be cool when she doesn't. It'll soon become a habit and the "accidents" will subside, maybe even quickly. Just give her the reassurance that its ok if an accident happens and its an accomplishment when she makes it to the toilet.

I doubt seriously if the other behaviors are indicative of her "readiness" to begin potty training. It might be that she is simply acting out a bit of jealousy over the 10 month old baby brother. If you invite her to go to the potty with you more often, she may accept this simple act as more attention in her direction. She needs mommy time too, on an equal, individual basis. Give her a little more of this and the behaviors will improve.

Good luck.

D., Mother of 3 grown children

It sounds like maybe you should hold off for a little while. The only rush would be if she were strarting pre-school whre the need to be potty trained, but you have time for that. My son ws 3 1/2 before he was ready to train and it went very quickly and smoothly- I think because HE was ready.

I admit that we used bribery at first: an M&M for pee and a Starburst for poop, but it worked for us!

Good luck!

Hey E.--2 1/2 yrs is a little early to expect too much when it comes to pottying. They just sorta go back and forth at this age. As long as she knows you are ready to help her when she is ready, and still reminding her that using the potty means she is a big girl, she will come around on her own. Good Luck!

THANK GOD I AM NOT ALONE! MY daughter is doing the same exact thing and she is being a little terror. I am at the end of my patience. I wish I could tell you what to do but I can't. OUr naughty spot is barely working anymore and it seems like I am raising a lil devil! Good luck!

This all is very typical for a child during potty training. I found with mine it took several months for him to get potty trained during the day because of the relapses he would have - forget nightime training that is a whole different story. Here is the thing, stick with it and just continue to encourage her. She maybe acting up because she maybe very concerned with not wetting her pants, so concerned that she may not be sleeping quite as well as she did prior. Sometimes during naps and sleep they become aware that they need to go and it disturbs their slightly. She may just not be as rested as she normally would be, this happens during any big adjustment period or any new change! Or she may just be a little frustrated with how aware she has become about going potty! It is a big change in her life and she may get embarressed when she wets her pants and may just get a little cranky over the whole ordeal. Just be patient and stick with it -- it may take a little while for her to get back on track but rest assured she will get back on track!

I do think that the behavior needs to be addressed, and the potty training needs to be put on the side burner. Let her go potty when she wants to, and don't spend much effort trying to convince her to go. I have a son that is 6 that was a late pottier (not actually a word, eh?) Now my 2 1/2 yr old barely shows interest, but is resistant when I try to convince her. I guess she'll go potty when she is ready. In the mean time I will be consistent with good and bad behavior.
Take Care~
K.

It very well could be. The best way to know, is to stop the potty training.

sound like she still wasn`t to be the baby.she`s jealous her little brother doesn`t have to wear do what she does. she may need a little more time and a little more one on one attention. that my experice. i have three children 6,7,12. so been out the block a little. wish you luck

I have a daughter who turned 3 in October and is, within the last 2 weeks, finally potty-trained. Training lasted over a year. My advice is to take the long road on this and don't expect learning to be immediate. I was incredibly and needlessly frustrated so suggest for you gentle reminders daily until she finally takes her own initiative.

I also suspect that potty training is a little scary. My normally self-assured daughter inexplicably became needy and insecure until I backed way off and didn't push the issue and let her decide when she was ready (and hey, it took a LONG time). The potty is a brave new world for 2-year-olds and some days it's more reassuring for them not to try to tackle it. It WILL happen eventually, so take it easy and keep the diapers handy!

My little man is turning 3 in March and has potty training down to a science, but at the beginning he was identical to your daughter. First he was excited and then within a few weeks he refused to go. His attitude became a little more adult like. But I just kept going with it, I never got on to him for not going in the toilet, I just talked to him and tried to convince him that this is what big boys do and I would point out that his baby brother wears a diaper. As I'm sure you know, kids with younger siblings like to help out with them because they feel like they are big, so I found exercising the big boy phrase and commom phrases to be the most helpful. And it is all a matter of routine, make it her routine and she will do it by habit, because I am sure your daughter (just as my son is) is very set on her daily routines. We went about every 45 minutes - 75 minutes depending on the time of day and everytime he did it I would get really excited for him. Sorry it is so long, but I am not good with little words!

You might want to give it a break for a little while to see if that helps (just like someone else said). Also, have you bought any potty training books? We did that with my daughter. She loved to sit and look at the books, or have us read them to her, about other kids that are learning to go potty. We read the potty training books to her for a while and then tried potty training her.

We used lots of praise. We didn't get upset at her when she made a mistake, though we did say it was yucky that her pants are all wet, or something like that. My sister did a reward system with her kids, but when she went to stop doing the reward system, her kids also stopped being potty trained. So, for us, we decided no reward system other than lots and lots of praise...or a sticker chart or something.

Also, we avoided using any pull ups at all. We went from diapers to underwear. We also had her sit on the potty regularly, every hour or so, whether she needed to go or not. She had a few accidents, but she did pretty good overall. And when she had an accident, she didn't like it at all because she got all wet. We did get thicker underwear, but that's about all we did for that. We made it really exciting for her that now she was wearing big girl underwear.

We didn't try potty training her at night until she got the daytime potty training down. Then we did night time training and in order to do that, we would wake her up about 2-3 hours after she went to bed to get her up for the potty. We had to do this for a couple weeks before she started waking up on her own to go potty. We bought some bed covers that protected the bed from getting wet if she had an accident. We bought two of them so we could wash one and still have an extra one.

I'm going to stop typing now since I'm responding way more than you asked!

T.