Potty Training My 3 Year Old Daughter

Updated on September 30, 2006
K.T. asks from Reading, PA
19 answers

Any advice on how to potty train. I have tried so many different things, reward charts, setting a timer for every half an hour.... I know she can do it and that she knows when she has to go to the bathroom and could very well do it all on her own, but most of the time she gives me a hard time about it and won't go. Yesterday she told me all day when she had to go to the bathroom because she wanted this toy and I told her only if she starts going pee pee on the potty will she get it. I don't want to bribe her all the time, because one that will get expensive and two if she's not getting soemthing out of it she won't do it. Any advice?

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So What Happened?

I want to thank everyone for their suggestions. I decided to let her run around naked when were home, because if she has a pull up or underware on she will go in her pants. If she is naked she won't she will tell me when she has to go. Plus we were using the big people toliet and I brought out her potty chair and put it in the living room, and she has been going on that all day. I wish I would have this, this summer. I hope she learns it quick, because it's starting to get cold, and I don't want her running around with no clothes on when it's cold.

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W.P.

answers from Scranton on

I did the pull ups for a few weeks and was getting nowhere. I decided one day to just put underwear on and be prepared to clean up a lot of messes. All it took for my daughter was one or two times of pee running down her leg and making her help clean up the mess to get her trained. Good luck!

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D.M.

answers from New York on

When I was in the potty training phase, I realized one thing that little girls love. I took them to the store and showed them big girl underwear, ( pink lace with bow). My girls fell in love with them. I told them only big girls get to wear them. I bought it! Two weeks later, I had no trouble with them on the potty. I hope this works for you!

D.

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L.W.

answers from Portland on

I dont know if this will help but my daugter was completely trained by 2 1/2. We let her play with her potty...kitchen, playroom etc. Then we got her the video of Bear in the Big Blue house-- Potty time. When she had to go she would say "just like bear". I also would let her choose, "do you want the big potty (ours) or the little one?" and she used both. When she did have an accident, I would tell her it's ok and put her on to finish and we would clean up...I tried to make it "no big deal"--alot easier said than done when they are standing there peeing on the carpet!!! LOL! Hope this helped!

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J.S.

answers from Bangor on

OK just wanted to send my hugs over to you! my girls are 3 1/2 (i have identical twin girls) and they still aren't potty trained. we have also tried everything from the rewards chart, the sticker chart. they just don't do it and they know what to do. They tell us every day, " babies wear diapers, big girls wear underwear!" but then when we say but are you a baby because you were diapers, they will answer, "no, I am a big girl!" they will tell you until they are blue in the face, peepee and poops go in the potty. but if you ask them why they peed or pooped in their diapers, they will only repeat back to you, "peepee and poops go in the potty!"
they just started preschool again (we just moved states) so we are hoping that they see the other kids "doing it" it will ease them into it. just keep being consistant and it should one day just pop and work! that is what i am hoping for soon!

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S.J.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi. My name is S.. I'm 28 and I have an 8 year old and a 10 month old. My 8 year old was terrible to potty train. I tried everything that the "elders" told me to do and nothing worked. My son did the same thing as your daughter. I would give him a treat if he went potty, so he sat on the toilet all day. So he could have a treat. The thing that ended up working was telling him that teh lady at the store told me that they didn't sell diapers big enough for him anymore and that the diaper I was about to put on him was the last Anthony diaper. He, in his 3 year old wisdom, told me that I needed to go to a different store. I told him that I looked all day at lots of stores and they just didn't sell them anymore. So I put his diaper on him that night and told him that in the morning he needed to put big boy underwear on and use the potty. To my amazement this story worked. He did have a few accidents, because he was too busy to go. When this became a problem I put clean underwear, a wash cloth in the bathroom and he had to change himself. That worked too. I hope this helps. Let me know.

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J.D.

answers from Buffalo on

I think the older they get the smarter they get and potty traing becomes tougher. My cousin told me she told her daughter there were no more pull ups in the store to buy so she had to wear big girl underwear. After two accidents she didn't like the feeling and just started going. I know that's messy though. Just a suggestion that worked for my son and may work for your son in the future is to start potty training him shortly before his second birthday. He loved stickers at that age and we would sit in the bathroom and read books and talk and play little games and next thing you know he was going. I kind of rushed because was pregnant and by the time my 2nd baby came he was totally potty trained with a pullup in case at night by 2years and 2 months. I'm not trying to boast it's just that honestly if I were to have tried the process right now he'll be three in october I know he'd never do it. He's more independent and wouldn't sit there. anyways this is just a suggestion, as for your daughter I wish I knew. They get so wise so fast. Good luck

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D.P.

answers from Buffalo on

My name is D. and I am 23. I have 3 children under the age of 4. Kaitlyn who is 4, Vinnie who is 3 and Carmine who is 11 months. I was writing to you because I completly undertand what you are going through. My daught is 4 and still has accident every other day and also pees her bed everynight. I have tried everything and nothing seems to work. Kate started Pre-K this year and I thought maybe that would help. It didnt. They told me if she doesnt stop she will be no longer welcomed to school. Have you had her tested for diabetes? I have had all her blood work done mainly because she is over weight. Nothing is wrong with her. This is very upsetting. I have done everything in my power just like you have and still nothing. I obviously dont have any advise but if you get any would you please let me know. I am at my wits end! PLease help !

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A.L.

answers from Providence on

my daughter is now 3 and has been trained for over a year. You need to make sure she is ready. Mine told me she wanted to use it like me. I was thrilled and thought she was young b/c she started at 18 mths. It took awile and many accidents and asking for a diaper when she wanted to poop but these are some things that I think helped the process along:

At home let her be naked- ts easier to go without removing clothes
Get rid of the diapers for good- go with underwear
My dauhgter wanted to go to school
She had 2 close friends who also started at the same time so everytime they played together she saw that they were using it too.
I did not use the reward system for this task but has worked for others
She had her own potty- Very girlie but not too fancy- no noise etc. That stuff is distracting.

Good luck.

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M.W.

answers from Pittsburgh on

K.,
My daughter just turned 3 in April. We had some set backs also with potty training. I found that when I put her in big girl underwear that if and when she had an accident she could feel the wetness, and just did not like it. This method takes a lot a cleaning and laundry time, but it worked quick for us. Hope this helps!

C.W.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My daugher is 2 1/2 and she is already potty trained. It takes a lot of pateince. I never had to bribe her or make up charts she just started going on her own. We have now been diaper free totally even at night for like 5 months or more. Did you try getting her a little potty thats her size where you have to dump the pee out and clean it. I let her chose even today which potty she wanted to use her little one or the big one. Also i took her to the bathroom all the time even with me and had her sit on the little potty when i sat on the big one. I got her flushable wipes that helps too, also a stool to where she can wash her hands with her own soap. I used the potty training underwear not pull ups...they have padding in them that soaks up the pee better than regular underwear...they are a little expensive but it was worth it cuz pull ups were more expensive and you cant wash pull ups. And also potty training only works when all are involved...my fiance and my mom took part in it too cuz i wasnt home all the time...some kids too will go and hide if they have to poop...I used to scoop her up and put her on the potty and let her finish there that helped to..but i started potty training her before she turned 2...it didnt push her but let her know a few things...dont let her wear underwear for a few days and then put her back in diapers for a few days it confuses them..if she has an accident simply tell her why its not a good idea to do that clean her up put new underwear on her agian it may take a while but she will soon realize she is not going to like being wet and cold all the time and may start speaking up. i know a lot of parents dont potty train until before they start kindergarten and thats not good. I am soo glad she is out of diapers it saves soo much money i am telling you you have to be persistant also to because if yuo want to send her to preschool most preshools wont take kids if they arent toliet trained...i dont know if i helped or not but sweetie dont give up shell do it soon...shes gotta be determined.

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M.A.

answers from Allentown on

Hi K.,

Have you tried putting the potty in the room she is most comfortable in, like the family room? That is how we did it for our daughter, who is almost 4 now and she trained very quickly at 2 1/2. Once she got the "hang" of it, I moved the potty closer and closer to the bathroom until we just did without it and she used the toilet. Good luck!

M.

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M.A.

answers from Boston on

http://www.learn2potty.com

Excellent tips! :-)

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A.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I bribe my son with Hershey Kisses. One kiss for #1. Two kisses for #2. It works wonderfully!

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T.R.

answers from Buffalo on

i hear ya on this one. my daughter turned three in june and she was still not potty trained. same thing, she would go sometimes but mostly not. i tried the things that you did also with fail. what i ended up doing was just stuck her in regular underware. she still peed her pants and pooed and yes it was a hassle and lots of messes, but after one week she stopped going in her pants. it was like she needed to mess herself completely before she would stop. also i stopped making such a big deal of it. which is hard to do, but everytime i would scold her she would do it more.
i certainly am not saying this is the way, but it worked for me. just keep trying and try not to get too frustrated!

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L.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

I feel your pain. I just posted a question about my nearly 4 year old daughter who will only poop, not pee in the potty. I feel awful about this especially since i'm a stay-at-home mom and feel I should have had her trained at 2 years old. Ugh, what can you do? I've been told that you can not force the issue, that is what my doctor says, but he is not the one who can not enroll their kid into pre-school or anything. Oh, let me know if you find any places that will take a non-potty trained child for school or any activities for their age?

--Harrisburg, PA--
Lorrie

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S.E.

answers from Washington DC on

I did what Anne did,
We told him he could have a chocolate when he went pee in the potty. Before he would even go, we would take him in the bathroom with us when we went and then we would say "good mommy" etc and I would get a chocolate. He likes chocolate so much he wanted it so bad he went pee on the potty. Now he hardly asks for chocolate. Now I just wish he would poo on the potty LOL

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K.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Try putting blue food coloring in the toliet and telling her that when you pee on the potty it makes the water change color. Tell her it's magic. Another idea is to go let her pick out underwear with barbie or princesses or whatever ones she really likes. I know that I let my daughter do that and she didn't want to ruin her barbie underwear by peeing in them. After about a week she was potty trained. My last suggestion is that if you are using pullups then stop. With both my older two the pull ups didn't work. They feel just like diapers so they didn't know the difference and couldn't feel when they were wet like they could with just underwear. Best of Luck
K.

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L.H.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, I am new to this site, my name is L., I have a 7 yr old son named Josh. I could not potty train him to save my life, he would not go at all. I tried putting his potty in the livingroom (when it was just us at home) so he would get used to it and of course easy access. I don't know how it happened but suddenly one day he just started using it. If she is exposed to the idea every day she will decide to just start. Using pressure will frustrate her and she will refuse. Try to relax and she will too.

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D.G.

answers from Chattanooga on

honestly there is not much you can do beyond making sure its not a medical problem they usually let you know when ready..my 21 yr old brother had accidents till he was 16 cause his bladder was wrong sized..i've dealth with the problem myself..have you tried pull-ups? they have a type that lets the kid feel wet when they wet & you don't have to deal with laundry in cause of accident.plus they come in bigger sizes..& you can even send to headstart with them on sometimes..

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