Potty Training My 5 Yr Old Son at night/SAHM

K.~
I know you have recieved lots for responses to this email, But I have to chime in. My brother who is now 20 struggled with this till he was 13 14 years old, it was a constant battle for him. He tried everything you can think of short of shock treatment and none of it worked for him and it was VERY embarrassing for him. The specialist that my mom took him to said that some boys have this problem and the only thing to do is wait it out.
Don't be to hard on him.

SAHM- means stay-at-home-mom
I would stop the diapers, put him in underwear & continue doing what you have been.
I used a plastic sheet under my sons regular sheet for a while, just in case...
But, tell him that he has to get up to go potty if needed cause he is now wearing underwear to bed like a "Big Boy"!
Sometimes they keep going in the diaper because they know they have one on.

Good Luck--
D. G.

I had one who was not completely dry at night until she was almost 12. It was not an emotional problem; doctor said it was just a small bladder (she always was the one who really did have to go when she said she did) and she did grow out of it. Just put something that can easily be changed in the bed, use pull-ups or something like them if the kids doesn't object, and do it with as little fuss as possible. I don't see what it has to do with kindergarten. If you're worried about sleepovers, for some reason they usually are dry then, probably because it's an unfamiliar situation, and the sleepover thing doesn't usually start until 6 or 7 or so anyway. What you don't want is to create a lot of anxiety and attention to the situation. Not worth it.

K.-

My son just turned 5 March 5th and we are having the SAME exact issue. Cut the drink out..get him up to go to the bathroom and same result...has to wear a diaper at night and some mornings it is FULL. I talked to his dr. about this and he said that this is quite normal for kids his age and not to be concerned. He said that most of the time these kids are such sound sleepers that they don't even wake up and realize that they have to go to the bathroom. Unlike during the day when they are awake and they can feel when they have to go. He said they don't really try to do much about it until around age 6. He did, however, recommend a book and also gave me a pamphlet on bedwetting alarms if I was concerned about it. You can find both on www.bedwettingstore.com. The book he recommended is "Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness:A Practical Guide for Parents of Children with Bedwetting." Not sure if you can find the book anywhere else....Haven't ordered it yet. If you order it and find something that works, would love to know!

oh yeah...SAHM stands for stay at home mom.

SAHM = Stay at Home Mom

My son is 5, in Kindergarten and is EXACTLY the same. Our Pediatrician recently recommended www.tryfordry.com

Mostly our Doc says it's genetic and he'll eventually grow out of it. If sleepovers start to happen there is medicine you can give him for the occasional night away from home. But pretty much that's just how it's going to be. We're having my son tested for diabetes insipidus just in case.

I'm certainly tired of dealing with it but I'd rather buy pull-ups and deal with the late night get up to pee trips than change the sheets all the time. And my guy is a FABULOUS sleeper, rarely wakes up (which is one of the problems), so I try to focus on what a great life he'll have since he'll get a good night's rest almost every night.

Hang in there!

E.
Evanston, IL

I am wondering... have you tried to have him go without a diaper at night? My son is 4.5 and over spring break I decided to do a trial with him. He would wake up every morning with a full diaper, but he was potty trained during the day. I put an extra water proof mattress pad on his bed and had the extra sheets and blankets ready and then sent him to bed without the diaper. What happened? He slept all night and woke up dry! He has only had one accident since we started over a month ago. He has woken up twice to go potty during the night (and he is a heavy sleeper too). We think he knew he had a diaper on so he used it. He's been really proud of the fact that he can wear underwear to bed now.

I'm sure you have found out by now the Stay At Home Mom is typically shortened to SAHM. As it relates to your son, I think we should definitely embrace our children's interest. Most would think NO don't let him play with the kitchen because he's a male, but don't we have male chefs in the world? It had to start somewhere. Go for it! Let me know if you have found a kitchen or not.

If I may, I noticed that you are an Early Intervention Speech Therapist. My friend has a 3 yr old niece who doesn't use many words. Matter of fact she only uses three - mama, ba-ba and eat. She basically stays with her grandmother during day while her parents work. I don't know if anyone is taking the time to teach her to speak. But what do you need to know to be able to advise on how to help?

T. C. - Single mom of 2 teen girls.

SAHM = stay at home mom

Stop changing him! Make it HIS responsibility, even the wiping up part. He may get diaper rash, but gee, that's what happens to people who wear diapers.

Stop babying him.
.

My son had that problem. I finally started putting him in pants and if he had an accident he had to get up, change clothes, and fix the bed himself. After a couple times of HIM changing sheets at 3 am, he figured out how to get to the bathroom. Still do the no drinks and wake him up thing, though. If he still has problems, it may be a medical thing. As long as it is in the night, just avoid sleepovers for a while.

-R.

Stay at home mom

Have you tried to take the diaper off for a few nights? If he's still wearing the diaper, then sub-consciously he will not need to control his pee.

If you have tried consistently to take the diaper off and he's still wetting the bed, then he may have a bed-wetting issue. That is not uncommon especially among boys. Both my brothers wet the bed until they were in highschool. My husband wet the bed until he started middle school. It mostly depends on when the bed-wetter starts puberty.

My mom did all that you mentioned plus she got up twice during the night to wake them and take the to the bathroom. Most of the time that worked but if she let something slide they had accidents.

I don't know what the technology or medical profession has to say about things these days but my family experienced something very horrible involving bed wetting. We were military and the base hospital suggested that my mom put the boys on this new medicine. It worked so well that my aunt asked about it for her son who was six at the time. It worked really well for all three boys, but one day my cousin wet his pants in school. Later that evening when his mom was trying to bathe her youngest, the oldest climbed the counter and fridge to get his medicine from the cabinet. I suppose he figured if his medicine kept him from wetting at night if he took more he wouldn't wet during the day either.

He went into a coma that night and after several weeks in the hospital, numerous surgeries, and several revival attempts he died. He turned seven in the hospital that December.

It turned out the medicine was experimental and the FDA didn't have the rules they do now. What no one knew was it was building up in their little systems and when my cousin took the extra pills it was just too much. They pumped his stomach because his little brother (the second child who was three at the time) told his parents that his big brother had taken his pills. It was too late with all that was already in his system.

Needless to say my mom took my brothers off the drug and she just dealt with the issue until they hit puberty and it stopped.

Since he is dry all day, there may be a medical reason he is wetting at night. You should make an appointment with your pediatrician and see what they have to say. BTW, SAHM = stay at home mom....good luck.

K.:

I believe SAHM is Stay At Home Mom. It's the first I've heard of the acronym as well, but just looked it up online and found out. Potty training - the joys of the different stages we go thru with our children. I hope that my advice will help you. We potty trained our children quite young (15 months). Our youngest children (twins, 1 boy 1 girl; age 3) just recently stopped wetting at night. It was a matter of us deciding when to do it. The main thing I want to stress is to not make a big deal if your son wets his bed. My mom gave me this great advice after the first week we tried to remove the diapers from their nighttime routine. My son seemed to get lots of anxiety from wetting his bed. He would instantly wake up after wetting his bed (the good part was that most of the time he stopped as soon as he realized he was wetting himself) and would cry about doing so. Prior to going to bed every night he would also say "I don't wanna pee on myself mommy". I instantly noticed the anxiety he felt within this. He truly seemed to have no control over it. Anyhow, my 3 yr old daughter also wet her bed, but didn't seem to be as anxious about it. So we went back to diapers and said maybe it's too soon and we are being too hard on them. Well that created something good. The kids wanted to wear their underwear and panties - they did not want diapers. They liked being "big kids". I think this is another piece of advice. Praise them and let them know that this is a big kid's thing and this will help alleviate their anxiety. Talk about and don't make a big issue out of it if he wets his bed at night. When he wakes up dry, mention how proud of him you are. Lots of hugs and kisses and encouragement. The real surprising thing is that within a couple of days (at their request of no diapers), they were doing well. Mind you that we could not stop the drinking of juice, milk, or water at 6p. We generally eat dinner later than that. After about 1 week they have not wet their beds at all. This totally amazed me, but we were glad that the transition went well. One other suggestion is to wake you son in the middle of the night and have him go to the bathroom. A few nights of us doing this and they got the hint. We thought about this well because their rooms are the closest to the bathroom for this reason. I hope this advice helps and I wish you all the best of luck with it. Believe me, in no time, things will be fine.

I asked the same question when I joined mamasource. I felt so silly when I found out what it meant, so we can now have a giggle together. SAHM is Stay At Home Mom. As for nightime honey, get him up 2 times during the night. He may be getting a little sip of soda or something with caffeine evening hours. That can cause nighttime peepee because caffeine works for hours in a childs body. Hope it works mommy.

Hi K.,

I am a SAHM (stay-at-home Mom)with a 5 1/2 yr old son who also wears Goodnite underpants at night since he still wets 4-5 times a week. We have also tried limiting drinks, making him go pee before bed, etc. No luck for 100% dryness yet. Please don't worry, boys especially, take much longet to have nighttime bladder control than girls. Sometimes up to 6 or 7 years.
I also have a 2 yr old daughter, so we are in the same boat. I live in Lockport. Good luck, but not much you can do until your sons bladder is mature.
Please also don't make him embarrased or put him to bed without protection, that really will not work. Noone wants to wake up in a wet bed...

Cherylynn

Ugggh....they do NOT do it on purpose, and embarrassing them is not good for self esteem.
My guy is almost 6, and only wets less than once a month now(used to be every night).
My advice that worked for me....
remember the old days of drinking, and once you "break the seal" you have to keep peeing? Happens with kids too. Instead of waiting unitl bedtime to break the seal, Make him start peeing every hour from 5:00 on, and by the time he goes to bed he should have an almost empty bladder. We still wake him up when we go to bed, but then he makes it through the rest of the night.
Good luck!

First, SAHM =stay at home mom. Second, I have a 3 year old boy that has been potty trained for almost a year now, and there's no light at the end of the tunnel for nighttime potty training either. He just sleeps so hard that he doesn't wake up when he has to go. Now, I can't say that I have been very good about trying things, as I am not really worried if he's potty trained at night, but with my daughter who's 5 I didn't have to do anything. She just always got up and went and was nighttime trained a couple of months after she was daytime trained, all on her own. Anyway, good luck, and I will be watching this post for suggestions!

Your son has trained his bladder to relieve itself on demand and the diaper contains the result. He has been working on this principle for 5 yrs. Now you have to train it to be awake even if he is asleep. It won't happen over night your are going to have to be activly involved. You can wait 2-3 more years and hope that the bladder retrains itself or you can start by waking him every 2 hours for the firs coupl of weeks to get him into that cycle of sleep where he becomes somewhat aware every couple of hours. Wake him up and take him to the bathroom. He may not need to go every time but go through the motions. Your training his body and his awareness as much as anything. It won't happen over night

I had betwetting problems myself until I was about 9 (shhh) and my sister had it even longer. I don't know what causes it, but it's past the potty training issue. For me, I would be having a dream that was about something routine, in my dream, I would have to pee, so IN MY DREAM, I'd find a toilet and go ahead and pee. Of course, I woke up right away because I was soaked. I agree with other posts, it's a good idea to get him a plastic sheet and let him feel it more. It's a horrible feeling, one that he will want to avoid. Also, remember that this isn't a real choice he's making. It's not a failing on his part or yours... You can work together to find practical solutions, but it will take time and patience. Please make sure his ego makes it through, the poor little guy's elf esteem could be hurt if he thinks it's his fault.

good luck. i have two boys 8 & 11. my pediatrician tells me that they are heavy sleepers and that is why they are still weight. my 11 year old finally stopped when he hit 10, but my 8 year old is still wet. like you, we wake him up before bed and monitor his liquid. he even wets through night time pull ups and that doesn't wake him up. i tried the monitor, but as soon as you take it off of him, he sleeps soundly again. wish i had better advice, but i have tried everything.

I had the same problem with one of my sons and I tried everthing, then I remembered he had ask for a paraket several times and with 6 children, I didn't think we could afford it. I told my son if he could go 1 month and not wet the bed at night I would buy him the paraket and a cage.It took a couple months before he made it through the month, when he did we went shopping for the gift I had promised and he never wet the bed again. Maybe there is something your son wants very much and would work for this way. We had a secret calender and marked each day that he made it through the night. He was so happy when he finally made it, but not as happy as I was.
M. K

STAY AT HOME MOM. And as far as the potty training...it sounds like you are doing everything right. I have heard sometimes it can take years to night time train.

Sometime a boys bladder does not develop control to hold it through the night. It is very dicouraging but you have to let him know that it's ok. My son was a very heavy sleeper and had accidents every night. We would wake him up at midnight and it was sad he would fight us, because he was tired. We to him to a urologist they said he was fine and told us we just have to wait it out. Sleepovers started for him . We put him on a medication for this problem. It was safe and it helped a great deal. We finally weaned him off it when he was about 10. I don't think you would want the medication for your son at his age. Try to wait it out I know it's hard But.... One thing to remember never let your son think this is a bad thing, for he has no control over it. We used to laugh because my son took it so well, and we know he was not emotionally scrred from it. Just let him know this does happen to alot of other boys his age we just don't discuss it with others to know. Good Luck remember patience.

I think this is very common with boys and most definitely a physiologic/developmental thing. Our pediatrician said whatever nerve is down there doesn't fully develop sometimes until at least age 7. My son has been day trained since before he was 2 and is now almost 5 with no signs of nighttime awareness yet. We've tried cloth training pants to see if that helped him "feel" it more but all they did was make him uncomfortable and kept him from sleeping in enough in the am to get his proper sleep. I've come to see pull-ups as a great invention that allow us to peacefully accept and trust our son's unique development. I also come from a long line of bedwetters on both sides of the family so I'll be feeling pretty lucky if it only lasts until age 7, LOL! By the way, my daughter is almost 3 and almost never wets at night and potty trained herself recently and very much independently. There is absolutely nothing I'm doing or not doing that makes her stay dry at night, it's just her unique development pattern. Seeing how different her potty training was from her brother really helped me confirm that each child is very different but still normal.

HTH,
K. M.

I am in the same boat you are in. In fact, my son is 5 and has been potty trained since he was 3 also. He has to wear pull ups at night so that he won't wet in the bed. It is getting quite disturbing for me. I do not know what to do either. I also have 2 children, a son(5) and a daughter (1). Anyone who can give advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hi K.,

I am the mother of 2 boys ages now 22 and 13. I found that when I potty trained my sons I didn't use the diaper at night. I completely used the stop giving beverages after dinner. My boys knew the diaper was gone and would not wet the bed! I think if you have him use the washroom before bed and get him up once at night the diaper days will be over! Good luck.

just take him out of diapers. Get the protective bed sheets.
so your bed will be saved, & he will wake up from being wet.
He will hate it! And then it will stop.
Keep taking him to the bathroom before bedtime. And tell him if he wakes up w/ dry sheets, he gets a prize.
It worked w/ mine.
Good Luck!
S.-M

K.,
My brother had the same problem with his stepson. He had the problem until he was 9 or 10. It seems to be more with boys than girls and is something they grow out of. Talk to his doctor, if memory serves me correctly his problem was with his bladder developing slower than the rest of his organs. He is now almost 16 and he is fine. My brother said it was almost over night that he stopped wetting the bed.

Good Luck!!

K.,
In response to Ruth's advice...give me a break your response was very bitchy!! You are not babying your son. Buy a waterproof pad to put on the bed (under the sheet, but on top of the mattress pad) they sell them at Target for about $10.00. Let your son try sleeping without a diaper and make sure he knows that it is ok to have accidents. That is how they learn. My sister did take her daughter to pee once in the night...but it is not easy with all kids to do this. If one night he decides he wants to sleep with a diaper let him. He will want to please you and will feel like a big boy if it is his choice to not wear one and go through the night without wetting the bed. My other sister's son wore goodnites until he was about 8 years old. Every child is one a different schedule when it comes to this. Good Luck!!

It sounds like everything you have done is fine, but honestly you may just need to take a step back and let nature run its course. His little bladder just might not be able to hold it yet. Check with your pediatrician, but I don't think it is uncommon for kids at this age to still need a pull up for overnight. If you can relax about it then perhaps he will too and it will happen when the time is right.

SAHM = Stay At Home Mom

Best of luck,
S.

I'm a firm believer that you get rid of the night time diapers at the same time as the day time. Each kid is different and with some you change sheets more often than with others. There are pads out there that soak up a lot of urine. I believe I bought mine at bed bath and beyond. I put this over the sheets, right under the kid. So that if they do have an accident they only get the pad wet and I don't have to change the whole bed. Sometimes the top sheet gets wet so I just pull it off. It makes it much easier at night when you don't have to change the whole bed. It sounds like you tried everything. If he continues to wet every night for a long time I would definitely talk to your doctor. I'm suspecting that once he wets himself a few times he'll stop. Good Luck.

SAHM- Stay at Home Mom...:-)
You stated he is potty trained, but is he going a lot at night or just hit and miss accidents? You have tried good ideas, getting him to go late, no drinks late, ect. With my boys, as soon as I see they are getting tired, it is off to the bathroom before bed. I personally would get rid of that diaper at night, maybe if he feels the wetness of the underwear, he will be more likely to get out of bed and use the restroom, not fun for you, but it may work for him..I would make sure the path to the bathroom is well lit, is he scared to get out of bed in the dark and go? I would also try a chart or reward system, that worked for me. Finally, tip, I learned to put a set of pj's and underwear right by the bed at night so it is ready to go in case of an accident.. sheets too!!
Good luck, it will hopefully pass soon.

With my daughter, we did the same thing, stopping drinks after a certain time and we would "pee" her when we went to bed. Unfortunately by us doing this, I think she was accustomed to going at that time. We started one night and just told her that we weren't going to take her potty and she would have to get up and go by herself. She is a very deep sleeper. She only had 1 accident to date and this was a year ago. We also have the plastic sheet between her sheets and mattress just in case.

good luck
C.

My son is the same- day trained since 3.5 years and is now almost 5.5 years and not trained at night. I have tried everything as well, and his body just doesn't wake up to go potty. I have put him in underwear, and he doesn't care if he is all wet. I have talked to my pediatrician about this multiple times and he has told me that it is not a developmental delay until they are 7 years old. He said that the part of their body that tells them to wake up and go potty is still forming until age 7. With many boys he has seen, it takes until then. So, try not to worry and try not to force the issue. I am sure your son wants to go at night, he just isn't capable yet. I have the same frustration, but I know it makes my son feel bad so I don't push it. If you push it, you may make it worse. Good luck!

Don't make your son feel bad about it, lots of kids have that problem. I have 4 children and only one of my son's had the problem. He potty trained early but at night was always a struggle. Ask your husband if he had the problem or if anyone else in the family had the problem. I hear it runs in families. My son was nearly 11 before it stopped. It became less and less and then just stopped. Do the limiting fluids after dinner and still take him to the potty before you go to bed, but whatever you do don't make him feel bad about it...he will feel bad enough on his own. Praise him when he wakes up dry. It will pass in time, my doctor said that many boys deal with this till puberty hits, so my doctor thought it was very normal.

I guess there isn't anything you should do about it. I am in the same boat with my soon to be 5 year old daughter. It doesn't matter what I do, she will still have a wet pull up when she gets up. I thought when her younger brother was waking up dry that would be incentive, but no she doesn't care. I have talked to many people about this and you shouldn't worry about it until they are about 7-8 and are still doing it. Great huh! It frustrates me to no end! Good luck with your fella!

SAHM is stay at home mom. Although I don't have advice from personal experience with my own children for potty training at night (my son hasn't gone at night since he was 2, now is 5) my younger sister (9 yrs younger) was wetting at night well into her teens. We tried everything with her as well, and the bottom line is she just slept so hard her brain did not process that it was time to wake up when she had the sensation to pee. My parents even tried this device that you put in a child's underwear or diaper that senses wetness and a loud (extremely loud) beeping would wake you up to go in the toliet. Well, it was traumatizing to everyone else in the family, and she never even woke up! I remember waking up thinking it was the smoke alarm (in the next room, down the hall) and my parents were getting her up to pee, and she was wailing because she was scared to death and had no idea what was going on. The next day, she had no recolection of it. She was sound asleep the whole time! So other than talking to your pediatrician, it may be something you just have to wait for your son to outgrow.