POTTY TRAINING Please Help - USAF Academy,CO

My grandmother said to me when I was in a panic about potty training, "Honey, he won't cross that graduation stage in diapers." That told me to back off and let him take control b/c as she so eloquently stated, he will do it in his own sweet time and he will be potty trained, just be patient.

PS. If someone took me to the BR every 15 minutes, I'd be annoyed too :) LOL!

Good luck!

My motto...if you are asking for help potty training, then they are not ready. When he is ready it will be super easy and it really is not worth it before then. What you are doing now will become a power struggle and may end up delaying potty training even more. Back to diapers or pull ups and wait until he shows signs he is ready to do it on his own.

He's not ready. You need to relax about it. Tell him you'll need to do pull-ups until he can go with no accidents. It doesn't matter how hard YOU are trying. If he's not ready it's not going to work. It's his body.

He's annoyed because you are making him go to the bathroom every fifteen minutes. He can't do anything else. My son wasn't daytime trained till a bit after 3 years.

Every 15 minutes sounds like way too often. That's probably why he's annoyed. I don't agree with keeping a child that age in diapers or pull ups. It's bad for their skin and can cause infection. Plus it's just delaying potty training, really. Leave him in underwear or even naked. Yes he'll have accidents. But you just help him clean it up and remind him to tell you when he needs to pee or poop. The accidents will actually help him understand when he feels the urge and why it's important to stay dry. I would also lead by example. Announce when you need to potty and invite him in to watch how grown ups do it.

Am I correct in understanding that you're taking him to the potty every 15 minutes, whether he needs to go or not?

Honestly, that could be your problem right there.

You're absolutely right to have him in big-boy undies, but if you're taking him to the potty all the time, like it or not, he doesn't have to pay attention to his body's own signals. Potty training is ultimately a mental process -- the brain needs to recognize the body's signals and connect that to an action. You're doing his thinking for him!

What I recommend instead is: let him run around naked. If you have hardwood or tile floors, he can do so inside. With carpets, you may have to limit that to outside. Boys, much more than girls (and men more than women) tend to be visual thinkers. They have to SEE the pee streaming out to make the connection of "Oh, that feeling leads to this pee, and this pee belongs in the potty." It's also worth having a potty in whatever room he's in -- so he can make a visual map of pee --> potty. Then, once you get some traction there, have him in just underwear, no pants yet. But, let him have accidents! That's part of the learning process.

Oh, and rewards! I've always limited sugar with my son, but during the potty process, I got so desperate that I started giving him 1 skittle per "success." It worked, and it was so successful that I was able to phase out the skittles within a few weeks.

If he's not at least mostly trained then why the big boy undies? Do you really clean up the carpet/flooring/furniture that many times per day?

I'd much rather use a pull up, their purpose is to teach the kiddo how to push down and pull up underwear and to keep accidents off the house stuff.

You need to take him to the bathroom every now and then, have his sit, when he pees give him a jelly bean, if he poops he gets 2 jelly beans, if he does both he gets 3 jelly beans.

Personally, I think every 15 minutes is overkill. I trained my son earlier than 3 (he was fully daytime trained well before his sister was born just before his 3rd birthday); closer to 2 1/2 really. And even though I started earlier, I didn't take him every 15 minutes at ANY time. It was more like every 30 minutes, OR if I noticed him doing potty cues (some kids hide, some kids go behind a piece of furniture, some kids stand up and hold their pants, whatever... most kids have a "tell"). And ALWAYS immediately before leaving the house or going to bed (including naps).

Every 15 minutes doesn't even give him a chance to feel the urge or tell you himself...
Back off a little.

(And by backing off, I don't mean give up trying... I just mean don't be a schedule freak about it. If you don't take him but every 30 or 40 minutes... the worst that will happen is he might have an accident and need to "rush" to the potty. That can be a good thing! And what might happen is that HE will notice the need on his own... which is what you are working towards).

It sounds like maybe he was not ready, was he using the potty at least part of the time before you went to undies? If not I would consider putting him back in pull ups. Just say "you know, silly mom forgot to let you get lots of practice first" or something to that effect so he won't feel like he failed. If he was using the potty at least part of the time before you went undies then tough it out. My boys were both using the potty at least half the time before we went to undies, they both still had a ton of accidents the first day (like 10-15) and wanted to give up, but I said no. The next day they only had a few accidents, and by day 3 only 1 or 2.

He may just not be ready yet. Boys train later. My son didn't train 100% in the daytime until he was past 4. He just didn't care, and the "training" that we were doing wasn't training him...just training us to drive ourselves nuts.

I will happen on its own. You can encourage him, certainly. But beyond that, I wouldn't stress to much about this. It just takes time.

Heck, DS only fully night time trained about 4 months ago, and he'll be 6 in June.

Try not to stress. It will happen, and you can't rush it along, no matter what the books tell you.

Taking him every 15 min is a bit over the top. You are interfering with his natural ability to take place and kick in. He needs to learn the signals from his own body that tell him it is time to go potty. I would back off a bit and don't be so aggressive, that might be the problem. Let him tell you and if he doesn't I would try taking him every 40 min. Keep in mind he might have a few accidents but that is ok because then he will learn what that signal feels like and then pretty soon he will be going potty all by himself! Good luck!

i'd be annoyed if you were nagging me to go potty every 15 minutes too.
back off.
khairete
S.

He's got to want to and you can't make him want to.
Our son was day trained at 3 1/2.
I let daycare take the lead on it.
His whole class went to the bathroom at the same time (they were all potty training so it was something everyone did - a little peer pressure can be a good thing sometimes) and they had these tiny child sized toilets that were not intimidating at all.
He basically came home saying "Look what I can do!" (use the potty!) and all I had to do was follow up with it on the weekends.

My son didn't train til 3 either. It's okay. He'll be ready when he's ready. Summer is coming up. Both my boys trained in those summer days outside in our backyard. For some reason it went pretty easily that way. He doesn't tell you because he doesn't recognize the sensation yet. That comes later. Don't rush things. It's okay, it'll happen when it happens.

You're not sure why he is annoyed with being taken to the bathroom every 15 minutes? I would be annoyed!

I agree with the others that you need to back off a bit. Think about it. I realize that I go to the bathroom at pretty close to the same times each day. Watch him and see what his "times" are. You can ask him around "the time" if he has to go, but if he says no, leave it at that. If he does have an accident, it will help him to learn the feeling of needing to go to the bathroom. He IS going to have accidents - there is no getting around that. But just like every other mistake, there is something to be learned from it.

If he never tells you he has to go, and he doesn't indicate interest on his own, then he isn't ready. He isn't quite 3 yet, so this is normal. Stop for now and try again in a few months or when he shows interest.

Both of my boys were fully trained (day and night, at home and away, no accidents) just before turning 4.

i guess for boys its alot harder than for girls, because my 4 yr old was actually potty trained (day only) at 2 yrs and 7 months, i kept on asking her if she had to go potty every 20-30 minutes, it wasnt until she turned 3 that she was fully potty trained well actually 3yrs and 4 mos!

my other DD is being potty trained since last month, she has been telling me she needs to go potty but sometimes its late to go in the potty! I keep her in her undies all day except when ever we go out for long periods of time.

JUST KEEP HIM WITH HIS UNDIES ON AND SEE WHAT GOES FROM THERE, SHOW HIM OR ASK YOUR HUSBAND TO HELP YOU OUT! GOOD LUCK!!

My son doesn't tell me either. Mine will be 4 in July and the couple days showing interest. He pees in pullups & undies.. so he just goes naked at home. Pees in his little potty everytime

Sorry havent read through all the posts so hope im not repeating .... I would maybe try suggesting a trip to the toilet/potty every 30 - 40 mins just so he doesnt feel like thats all hes doing all day.

I couldnt have lived without the pull ups initially though. It takes a bit of stress off both parties in the really early days. There are some with the picture on the front which fades when they get wet - my lot all loved making sure the picture was on there all the time :)

The most motivating bit for our lot though was the sticker chart reward system. Take him shopping to pick out some really groovy stickers for every time theres a wee and some tiny treats (I just got a few things from the $2 shop - bouncy ball, little car etc) for the No. 2s.

Try not to worry about it though. They all get there in the end :)

Get a signing time app called potty time. It works great.