Potty Training Problems!

C. hello :) my name is M. and here is my advice to you....do something i like to call potty bootcamp :) I did it with my two sons and it worked well...take you son to the bathroom every 15 to 30 minutes on a consistant basis for a week and watch the positive results...it really does work you have just got to be consistent...even when you are out and about...try it and let me know what happens :)make it fun....not harsh.

My son has did the same thing. He has been wetting his underwear everyday. just today he told me was going to wet his underwear and I rushed to the big toilet and got him to pee like daddy. he did it and liked it and has been doing it all day. now my little girl who is almost 2 is wanting to sit on the potty and do it too. hang in there. it will eventually happen. I have been trying for many months with my son. hopefully this is going to be it. Now just got to work on poops.

A little about me: SAHM working part time from home with 2 children, son 4 and daughter 22 months.

I've heard that boys usually don't potty train as quickly or early as girls so it's not a good idea to compare the two. I was told that boys usually potty train successfully around the age of 4. My nephew didn't get it down pat til 5 -- but I think that hs more to do with his home life :)

anywho, I wouldn't push him either.If he begins to resent the potty or dislike it, he won't use it. Be patient. We are starting early with my son - he will be two in June. We are just putting him on at night and in the morning.. sometimes he goes...soemtimes not. We always praise when he does and try to show him what it feels like when he's peeing by drawing his attention to it if we can see that he's going.

But we'll be traveling this road soon so I'd appreciate you're keeping in touch as to what you do and how it's going :)

If you're using diapers or pullups, stop using them. He has no reason to stop if he doesn't feel the discomfort of wet underwear. It will inconvenience you for a short period of time but he will learn much more quickly if there is a bit of a consequence to not taking the time to go to the bathroom.

As T Berry Brazelton says...you will train him until he is ready to be trained. Boys are often slower on this front. My son was 3 and I didn't even pursue it until he gave me signals he was ready...then we were done training under a week. When your son wets, does he walk around looking uncomfy? Does he even stop to think about it? When he's ready, he'll give you that wide-legged uncomfy walk that says "I don't like this" and then you'll know he's ready. Unless you are in a pre-school or something that dictates he must be finished, don't press until he's ready. When he's around other kids who are trained, he'll catch on soon enough and want to be like them. One of the things that frustrates me no end in our society is this "every-child standard" that we assume applies across the board...every child is different but they all turn out fine in the end if we can let nature take its course.

how do you "know he is ready now"? if he were ready, he would be potty trained. it takes boys much longer than girls to develop full control over there bladder and bowels. just give him time. if it gets to the point were he cant go to school because he is in a diaper, deal with it then. otherwise just keep buying the diapers and he will figure it out when he is ready. it is not a race, or even really a learned skill. it is a matter of his body being developed enough so that he has control of these body functions. pushing it, or making your son feel like he has done something wrong when he has an accident will just delay his progress. if you leave him be, he will probably do it on his own before you know it.

I think that children are prone to have accidents until they are close to five. You might try putting him on a schedule. Maybe you could take him to the bathroom once an hour if you're at home. A treat jar is also good. If he goes to the bathroom where he's suppose too, he gets a treat. Some children have bladder issues so make sure the doctor knows about your issues with him. I have two girls of my own and I potty trained the first at 2 years old with no trouble but the second was right at her fifth birthday before she was completely trained.

Stop using diapers and pull ups. Put him in underwear. There will be a lot of accidents for a few days, but he will learn quickly to at go potty.
With my son, he had accidents at first. Then within a day or two he would say he had to go potty, but it was always after he had gone. I'd say within a week, he was doing much better. And now, he is pretty much accident free and he's bot quite 2 1/2. He doesn't wear diapers to daycare, only to bed or if I have to take a long car ride or something, then I'll put him in a diaper or pull up.
But, if I use a pullup or diaper, he'll use it, and then say he has to potty. So... pull ups.. not worth it. Maybe let him pick out his own big boy underwear, if that will help him ( i guess it depends on the child).

Good Luck!

One thing that we did with one of our sons was to put fruit loops in the toilet and had him aim at those while going. It made potty time easier and our son wanted to go. Before we knew it he was going on his own without the fruit loops in the toilet!

Hi,
Definately don't push too hard! I know where you are coming from, as my son is 5 going on 6 and still isn't fully potty trained. Would love to have playdates with you and your kid to where we could talk about this some. I don't know where you live, but I'm in Western NC. When he does go, applause and praise to high heaven! Maybe rewards? I've tried these and for my son they don't work, but for some they do. Let me know, A.

A trick for peeing that we tried and it seemed to work pretty well. We got underpants with Diego on them and told him not to get Diego wet. He wears underpants during the day and a pull up at night. We are having trouble getting him to poop in the potty, but he has pee pee down.

Hi, i am a mother of 4. 2 boys and 2 girls all my children were easily potty trained at the age 2 it was really that bad.I do know that there r some children out there that do have harder times, i have experienced it with children whom my mom use to care for.But anyways I would suggest that u just not put a daiper on him thru the day, tell him that he is now a big boy and Big boys dont pee pee on their clothes.Then constantly ask if he needs to potti also it will help to just put them on the toilet with the faucet water running (that helps too)and not a potti chair, I hope that this will help.it takes a lot of patience i do know, but they will learn...Good Luck

I was a preschool teacher for 5 years and I have 2 boys of my own. Unfortunatly what I have learned is the longer you wait the harder it is. What I would recommend is that you do not confuse him by changing back and forth with diapers or pull-ups and underwear. He should be in underwear all day and diaper (pull-ups) at bedtime only. They really do get confused at the inconsistency. Try to be patient it will happen. Every child who came into my classroom not potty trained I had trained in 1 week. I just told them pull-ups went bye-bye...time to use the potty.

Sounds very familiar! My son is 3 1/2 now and has only been "officially" trained for about 3 months. We tried several different ways several different times - about four separate tries since was 2 yrs 10 months. Eventually what worked for us (and I really mean us - it had to be him and me that it worked for) was underwear only, even naps, and a pullup at night. We agreed that I would only remind him first thing in the a.m., before nap, and before bedtime. The rest had to be up to him and if he had an accident he had to do most of the cleanup (we told him it was totally up to him but I did help). I didn't push and I tried to not a big deal about accidents... giving it over to him and refusing to get upset seemed to do the trick with us. I did a lot of prayer and meditation those weeks to keep myself calm.

make sure there are no physical problems. if all that is OK, just wait it out. I know it seems awful, but when my son was going thru this, I had a wise older friend with 5 kids who said 'they won't be in college still wetting their pants.' It will come.

My son is now almost 5 and was potty trained at 3 1/2. What I learned with my son is I thought he was ready at 3 but he would fight me alot on it. I finally put him in big boy underpants and after about a week or two of accidents, he finally got the concept of learning to feel when he has to go. At the time he wanted to go to school very badly and I told him that if he wanted to go to school then he had to potty on the toilet all the time. I think that encouraged him to try harder and it really seemed to help. I tried rewards, ie. candy, money, new toys but the newness of it wore of quickly and I would have to keep trying new stuff with him to the point where it just didn't work the way I intended it. I think that by the time he was fully potty trained, that's when he was really ready. So keep your head up and when he figures it out for himself, it should be a breeze.

if he's having trouble, then he's not really as ready as you think. it takes boys longer to potty train, so jsut be patient, he'll get the hang of it. if it's a problem with him getting too wrapped up in what he's doing and "forgetting" to go potty, then maybe you just need to remind him every so often that he needs to for to the potty and at least "try." accidents are ok and there will be many of them. have you tried a reward system...so many days without peeing in his pants and he gets a special treat, that works for many kids.

Hang in there. My son was almost 3 1/2 before he was potty trained. He could do it, he just didn't want to. It took him seeing other children wearing underwear and not diapers to want to do it. I wouldn't start pushing him too hard, it will make him not want to even more. I've worked in child care for 13 years. I've had children whose parents pushed them to be potty trained, and as soon as they back off, the child will do it. Your son will do it when he's ready.

My oldest son was almost 4 years old (it was literally 2 weeks before his 4th birthday!) and he was not potty trained. I told him that I was turning over responsibility for his toileting needs to him. He could use the potty or go in his pants, his choice, but he was responsible for it either way. No more pull-ups or diapers, I showed him where his underwear were kept, bought flushable wipes, told him where the wet clothes would go, etc. and told him to take care of it himself either way. If he went in his pants, fine, but clean up after himself and change himself, either way, I wasn't involved. He literally never wet his pants again. Obviously this only works with older kids! By the way, this was done very calmly, not in any kind of anger or punishment or even judegement on whether he went in the toilet or in his pants, just a matter-of-fact statement that he was a big boy now and toileting is a private matter and he was old enough to handle it himself. Worked like a charm!

Hello C., My name is M. I am a mother of three g/15 b/10 & b/4. Have you tried the rewards approach. Every time he go's to the potty give him something he likes,(like his favorite treat, a sticker)something like that. Could also try letting him pick out his own underwear , (he wouldn't want to wet on ) Hope this information helps. M. D.

HI, I have an 11 yr old son and a 3 yr old son as well. Ill tell you what worked for my 11 yr old, make it a game! Put a couple of cheerios in the potty seat with a little water and have him aim for the cheerios! Ive tried this w/ my 3 yr old but hes a little more stuborn that the oldest...but Im not giving up hope yet! LOL
Good luck
R.

I found it very easy potty training. I made it happen in under a week with a 1 1/2 year old. I started by taking off the diaper. I sat her on the potty chair and used the restroom myself to show her what to do. After that, if she wet her pants, I would sit her on the potty chair until she went again and give her a reward for using the potty. I was very blessed. Hope this works for you. As far as frustrating your son, guess you need to decide who needs to be frustrated here, your son or you for changing him constantly.

I have 2 of each, all grown. Now have 3 'grands', 2 boys and a baby girl. Both of my boys wet the bed a few times even after being trained, but the girls never did. Boys pee more (quantity and frequency) than girls do, plus have more stimulus to their genitals in general, so it's a little more tedious for them to gain complete control. Just take him to the potty every 1-2 hours (whether he indicates a need or not), and praise him every time he's DRY when you take him.Oh, and years ago (1970's) I read an article in a baby magazine called 'Children are not for breaking'. We try to 'break them' from using their pants; but there were, at that time, more child beatings over potty training than anything else. Just persevere with patience! I don't know any normal 6 year olds who still use their pants! LOL

Hope this helps, and happy parenting!

My son was not potty trained until after 3. We had him throw away ALL of his diapers. We bought him big boy underwear, and he went cold turkey. It took a while, and lots of cleaning. He did not like the wetness and all, so he got better with getting himself to the potty. We could not get him fully trained. He had some sort of block, or we were not doing things right. We enrolled him in school so he could have interaction, and I could work some. The school helped tremendously. He had to be put in the 2 year old room until he was fully trained. Seeing other kids be out of diapers was a big turning point for him. It took the school and us a month to get him over the last bit of potty training.

Hey C., I know potty training can be difficult, however here are a few things I did to help my son.

First, no matter what - NO MORE DIAPERS! During the day, I would put my son in underwear only - of course some with characters on it he knows. Then tell him they do not like to be wet. At night he would wear pull ups, NOT DIAPERS!

Secondly, when we first started we sat in the bathroom for two weeks reading potty books and singing potty songs to help him get the hang of it.

Next, reward him. Nothing hits home like a little candy. Every time he pee pee in the potty he got one piece of candy, whether it was one skittle, one M&M or one sweetart. Then when he poo pooed in the potty he got a piece of chocolate, a really special reward.

Finally, I found it very important that when he did have an accident in his underwear to simply remind him that we pee pee in the potty and then put new underwear on him

Hope some of these help with your little boy and don't give up!

I'd say there's a bit of truth to many of the responses you have already...choose what makes sense to you. One caution though: If you opt for cheerios and fruit loops in the toilet as a target or game don't be suprised when other items find their way into your toilet to be peed on!

It may seem harsh, however I would suggest to use up all the diapers you have and not to buy anymore. Show him that you are using the last diaper and that it will be up to him to use the potty if he doesn't want a mess on him. Pick a weekend that you can stay close to home. Let him have his potty chair in sight all the time---even in there when he is watching tv, playing, etc. We had the same issue and did this and amaziningly my son trained in one day! I also had food coloring that I put drops of it in the potty and let him pee pee on it and watch the colors change. Good Luck---those boys are stubborn:)

I would never advise any parent to push your time there child, because it could cause a relapse later. I felt like at 2 1/2 we had our son doing great. When he went in for his 3yr check up, the doctor said that he may have a period of relapse. For the about a week and 1/2 he wet the bed everynight. I would advise progressing to the pull up the help with training. The diapers could be to comfortable. If you want to take a leap trying doing underwear for about half a day, around the time you feel like he want wet his pants as much. ENCOURAGE progressive behavior. BE POSITIVE at all times. Hope this helps.

Three years old is not unusual for boys but I would not put him in diapers or pull ups during the day. He is used to wet diapers and/or pull ups but he probably will not like the feeling of wet pants. If he wets his pants, have him wear them for a litlte while. If he doesn't like that wet feeling, he might start using the potty.

Hi C.: I beleive that after 6 months and already being 3yrs old it is time to start pushing. as long as you dont expect him to use the bathroom all the time he wont. also start using rewards and taking away priviledges when he doesnt go. you will not be able to go on playdates and other activites if he does not go to the bathroom. Treat him like a big boy and not a baby

A friend told me about a book, "Toilet Training In Less Than a Day," I believe is the title. I checked it out from our library and used it to toilet train both of my older daughters at around 26 months. They are now 5 and 8. The training is pretty intense for an entire day....no distractions, t.v., phone, toys, etc.. My oldest daughter had it down in about 8 hours, and my other about 10 hours, I was amazed. They were both in training panties by the next day, with a few accidents here and there for about a week and then they were totally trained. The book really worked for us! I plan on using it again when I'm ready to train my almost 18 month old daughter. I know that boys and girls are different but, my friend who shared the book with me had two boys that she used the book on and it worked for them! :) Stay encouraged, this is something we all go through! Let me know if you try it....Take Care!

I have two boys ages 2 1/2 and 3 1/2. The oldest one (more thought driven) trained at 2 years 3 months. I couldn't believe how easy he was!! Number 2 (more physical) has been a different story. Although he can physically keep up and exceed his older brother, is just now getting the hang of using the potty. One thing I noticed about both, was that once they could dress and undress themselves, they were ready. Also once, they could hold liquid in their mouth and spit (toothbrushing) they also had more control of going to the potty. These may sound unusual, but if your child isn't controlling some of these things, he may not be ready. Best of wishes. It is frustrating.

I have three sons and one daughter and there is no comparing the boys to the girl. My youngest son turned three in September (2007) and I didn't get him fully potty trained until Feburary (2008). It is frustrating but my best advice would be to stick with underwear, no more pullups or diapers. Only use a diaper or pull up at night but not during the day. My son just pees in them if he's too busy to stop playing and go to the bathroom. One thing that helped my son alot was putting him on a meal schedule and not letting him have alot to drink between meals. He became more aware of when he had to go and it was alot easier for me because he didn't have ot pee every 30 minutes. Also, when he does use the potty make a big deal out of it. Give him a candy or buy a bag of those small plastic toys (insects, soldiers, snakes) from the dollar store and reward him when he remembers to go. Suddenly my son had to pee in the potty all the time!!! Good luck!! I hope some of this works for you.

A.

Quick advice that worked for me.....Let him go naked half way down. We call it "nudey budey." Let him wear a long shirt and no clothes on the bottom half. He will not feel the comfort of a diaper or underwear and will go to the restroom in the potty. Of course when you go out and about put underwear and clothes on him. My son was potty trained in two weeks using this method at 2 1/2 . At first he would ask me to put his diaper on so he could use the restroom and I would tell him to go in the potty. Then he stopped asking and found out that peeing in the potty was fun. Also, you can buy some cars or something little he likes and if he goes the whole day without having an accident then he can receive a car. I am potty training my 23 month old daughter using this method and she is doing great. Of course, girls are easier than boys! You can do it and he can too!

Try taking him/reminding him to go potty every hour on the hour. Yes it takes time away from your busy day, and you might forget. But that's what his problem probably is as well- he gets busy and forgets to go. By taking him every hour, for 2-3 days, it discipline and train his subconscious to remember to go. It will also help his muscle to develop. So, even if he doesn't need to go, encourage him anyway. Don't ask him if he needs to go, tell him to go. W/in 3 days he will have developed his own "schedule" for going potty. This worked for me 3 times over.

Boys are much more harder to potty-train than girls; they simply aren't emotionally ready enough at 3 to completely potty train. Just keep up with what you're doing, and buy some plastic underpants; they are more absorbant than reg underpants so you have less mess to clean up. I wouldn't use pullups because he can confuse them with diapers and still use them instead of the potty.
I had the same problem with my oldest son (i have 2 boys, 5 and almost 3); he wasn't going at all until he was 4, but managed to stay dry all day within a week of starting to use the potty. I am starting my youngest on the potty, but no go yet. I have trouble reminding myself to take them to the potty; but when I go, I take my lil guy with me and see if he goes.
Just keep doing what you're doing and eventually he will get the hang of going whenever he feels the urge to go. Good luck!!