Potty Training: Push It? or Wait?

Wait. My son is 3-1/2 and just really starting to take off with potty training. He is just this week in underwear instead of pullups.

I have so many battles to fight with him, I just couldnt pick another one.

He is very food motivated, so anytime he goes in the potty, he gets a small piece of candy (jelly bean, candy corn, etc). If he does #1 - 1 candy. #2 - 2 peices of candy.

In response to my frustration with his lackluster potty efforts, my great Aunt said, "Don't worry, he'll be out diapers by the time he gets into the Army."

True. Very true. Be patient and try not to fret over it.

I say if your mommy gut is telling you she's not ready, then she's not. This is the intro phase.

I would work on her with it gently and put the potty stuff up for a couple of weeks. My DD is almost 3.5 and not yet trained. People can make you feel so stupid when you have a 3 yr old that isn't trained. My DD's problem is she is slower on physical abilities. She gets frustrated when she can't make it happen. If she does mess in her diaper (since I feel pull ups are basically just diapers) or even her panties, she will often go to her room, and try to clean up by herself and hide from me. My child knows all the steps but can't put them together fast enough most of the time. We go through a lot of panties...I try hard not to shame her about it. I know she's embarrassed.

I praise her when she does good and we try sitting on the potty during the day and I praise her for trying, but since I find that I personally had little success with a watch, I wait for moments like before we go out or after she has food or a lot to drink. Times when she might have more success.

When you get frustrated, just breathe. It can be maddening to have so many accidents that you run out of either cleaning spray (we use Natures' Miracle) or clothes, but she will get it...eventually. Every kid is different, for better or worse.

You never "push" potty training. Its different for each kid and if you push them, it will be a battle and no one will win. My daughter was fully trained at 18 months, my son was practically 4! So wait until she shows an interested and not crying and stressed about it. Good luck!!

I'd wait for about 3 months. Then go to the toy store. Watch what she oohs and ahhs over. When you see a toy that she seems to want more than anything, then tell her she can have it when she does a very grown up thing. When she asks what that is, tell her that when she trades her diapers for sitting on the potty, she can have that toy. Get ready for this moment in the coming months by teaching her the concept of "trading". Giving up something for something else. And never go back. Make it something that is worth something to her that is a little hard to let go of, but for a better thing.

I also would not present potty training in total to her again. Do it in increments. Perhaps the whole thing - video, book, chart, panties, bucket, was too stressful.

Good luck!
Dawn

I'd maybe wait a few months, then try again. The trick with my daughter was to buy one of those dolls that can "drink" a bottle. Take a day or weekend where you take her to buy the "doll" and some panties for your daughter. Give the doll a name. Go home and show her how the doll has big girl panties on. Then give her the bottle filled with water and sit her on the potty. Show her that she didn't wet her panties. (my husband even got creative, and baked brownies and used pieces of those for #2 - ha ha -I've never looked at a brownie the same since) We told my daughter that she could be like her doll, and for whatever reason, it worked. She was potty trained in a weekend. She did have a few accidents here and there, but no more diapers. She did wear pull ups at night until she was 4, but we went through maybe 1 package. Once they get it, throw the diapers out or donate them. Out of sight, out of mind. Also, let her clean up her own accidents. Don't berate her, just say "oops you had an accident, I'll get you some new panties while you take those wet ones off and put them on the washing machine". She'll get sick of doing that real quick, because they don't want to touch it. You might have to help her if it's an accident with #2, but I'd still let her do most of the clean up.

Does your daughter go to preschool? If so, maybe her teachers could reinforce it at school to help you. Usually by the time a toddler turns 3, most schools work with the parents on potty training.

Good luck! My daughter loved her diapers too. My son was easy - potty trained in a day by my husband. He's the potty whisperer. :)

I would highly recommend getting the e-book at www.3daypottytraining.com This method is awesome. It helps you as well as your child and is very step-by-step. My daughter begged and cried for her diapers, but by the end of the third day she was very proud of herself for being in underwear. She was also soaked every morning, sometimes all the way through to her sheets. That was helped by giving her nothing to drink (besides a few sips of water and nightly cup of milk before bed) after 6:00. That's for an 8:00 bedtime. The e-book is 25.00 but well worth the money. Whether you decide to do it now is up to you. I think you would do well. Good luck!!
C.

My oldest was almost three when she was potty trained, and there was no training involved. I just waited until she said, "I want to use the potty. I'm done with diapers." And from that point forward, she used the potty. She still wore a diaper (pull up) at night until about 3 and a half.

My youngest, now 20 months, poops on the potty...and at first I was like, no way, she's not really asking to poop on the potty...but sure enough, she was.

Each child is different, and I totally do NOT believe in pushing them, I guess.

I know how you feel, I cant get my 2yr old to sit on her potty anymore.
She kicks an crys. So I try askn her if she want to sit, an she crys & say no. An I let it go, and say okay. But if she follows me to the bathroom I ask her to sit for me. An she does aslong as Im sitting too.
So its aslow process, but she sit on the potty now. ;-)

Much Luck, I know I need it.

I'd wait until she's acting more ready. My 2nd DD was 4 years and 1 month before she was ready. She had been poop trained for a year and a half before she was ready for pee training. Now, she just goes in the potty and I feel like a million bucks not having to clean up accidents and dirty diapers anymore!

I wouldn't show her the potty video, bucket for rewards, etc. You look at all that and then when ready to start it tell her today is the day and put her in panties and start. She will have accidents, you must not yell but remain calm and clean it up and say 'We'll try again'. Once you start do not go back and quit. That's important if you want to be in charge and get it done in the future even. I set a timer for 15 min. to start with, then after they went some I moved it to 30 min. Don't stop all day and if no results the next day is a repeat. I had a grandson I potty trained as I babysat him and he said the same thing as your daughter and that he would NEVER stop wearing diapers and go in the potty but the day we started he had one accident and that was it, dry at nap time and from then on. He was almost 3 years old. My own kids were pretty much the same age, 2 1/2 or 2 yrs. 8 months. My own kids were not so determined to stay in diapers but and were willing to sit on the potty but some took a bit longer than a day to actually start going in the potty. Most it didn't take that long. So you will have to work with your daughter, not against each other. Reward either each time she goes or at the end of the process or with stickers and charts, whatever works for her. Be sure you are ready to start, start and don't stop, be calm and patient even if you don't feel like it. Shouldn't take long. Be firm but kind about it.

Alright let me put my two cents in here. Instead of going at this with a your doing it attitude do this ASK her why she wants to stay in diapers. MAYBE she is afraid of the term big girl bc she doesnt know what will hapen and she is afraid of change. My daughter just turned 3 in november she has been potty trained for like a year now BUT she does not liked being called princess she will keep reminding you her name is kayla so i aske why dont you like being called princess you are my princess and she told me no mommy i am your kayla. It can really be frightening to change. Bring it up in a different way. Sit down with her. there is no doubt in my mind she is a bright young lady she understands things and things are scary. So sit her down and figure out why she is so against it. DONT MAKE IT A POWER STRUGGLE. If she cant tell you lend her the words to express ask her if it is scary to change take it slow. Then explain to her that she is still your little girl and you love her. Ask her if she wants to go shopping and take her to the panties. Ask her if she likes any of them let her pick some out. DONT BOMBARD HER BRING HER IN ON THIS DECISION. It will make the process so much easier.

***ALSO*** Start taking down her liquid intake to 1/4 cup breakfast lunch snack supper it will stop the peeing at night and nap time. thats what i did when i potty trained my daughter

Do you like having your child wear a diaper? Did you ask your mother how old you were? If you aren't comfortable with her wearing panties yet and want her to stay in diapers, then wait.

My child was potty trained before she was 2. I think it is ridiculous to keep your child in a "baby" state of mind personally. I worked with her all one weekend, every hour giving her watered down juice and nuts and fruits. I would take her to the potty every 15-20 minutes and guess what, she would go! When she pooped her pants, I started showing it to her. Guess what? No more poop in the pants. If you keep cleaning it and she thinks it is fine and not gross, she will keep doing it. It is YOUR responsibility to teach her - not that she will just grow out of it. That is crazy.

Rewards shouldn't be toys, I gave mine 2 or 3 fruit snacks each time she went on the potty. She loved it. After she was potty trained, she got her ears pierced to show she was a "big girl". She was very proud.

Also, buy books and read them to her that show the potty flushing and washing the hands. Follow the routine even if she doesn't go potty. Do the wipe, do the flush, wash the hands. Have a "potty chart" and check the potty, the wipe, the flush, the washing of the hands. Kids LOVE this.

I'm not sure what the potty reward bucket is but an immediate reward works better I think. I just trained my son and he wasn't thrilled about using the potty til I introduced the 2 m&m for pee and 3 for poop concept. lol. Then ALL he wanted to do was pee. He'd squeeze some out and run up to me negotiating for 3 m&ms. So cute. lol. It worked like a charm and he's now back in school after winter break (when I trained) and has had 0 accidents even tho he's no longer getting the m&ms. That being said, I didn't push my son b/c I didn't want to traumatize him. The M&Ms were just to give him an incentive to do this new scary thing. If he had resisted even after the M&Ms, I would have backed off b/c that would mean he's not ready. So my tip is to try the M&Ms and to force yourself to be patient. When my son resisted and had accidents at the beginning of the process, I was the one soothing him and saying it's OK, everybody has accidents, Mommy had accidents when she was a little girl and being understanding. YOu have to remember that it's really scary for them to do this new thing. If she still resists, wait a few months and try again. Good luck!!

We pushed my son when he turned three and I found potty training to be the most miserable experience. Why push it? When she's ready you'll know. We did the three day online thing...I would recommend continuing to introduce the potty etc but i would not push it.

Wait. Pushing it is only going to make you both miserable. You really can't make her do this, but she will when she is ready. There is nothing magic about turning 3 that means she must be potty trained. I know it is frustrating, but they are all using the potty by kindergarten, just let this go for now.