Potty Training Regression - Roanoke,TX

You are absolutely right that spanking is way too harsh. It sounds to me like your daughter wasn't ready and she's rebelling because you controlled the process and not her. I would put her back in pullups and let her know that when she's ready to use the potty, then she can wear panties again. But, let her know it's not okay to pee all over the house. If she doesn't want to pee on the potty, she must pullups or a diaper. It's clearly a control issue. Set the rules, but let her control going to the potty. It's okay to ask her if she needs to potty, but taking her to the potty ever 30 minutes isn't going to teach her to tune into her body's signals. I kept my boys in the thick training underpants while they were starting to use the potty and when they're really ready, accidents are rare (and usually not at home, but when you're out somewhere and can't get to a potty quick enough).

i think what you are going through is pretty typical. have you tried making her clean it up? for some reason those little ones love to get a reaction out of us...I found that if i didn't react at all, said "ohhh noooo, well, you'd better hurry and get that cleaned up so it doesn't ruin the rug" then gave my daughter paper towels etc. she didn't find the mess so funny anymore. perhaps if she pees on the bed or sofa say "oh, darn, i guess we can't sit on the sofa," and then later in the day if she gets on the sofa say "oh, im so sorry sweetie, remember? you can't be on there. however, when you decide to go pee in the potty instead of on our things (b/c it's expensive to buy these things) you can sit on it again" good luck!!

I would agree with the others and say put her in pull ups or diapers and tell her she can wear her big girl panties when she stays dry and doesn't have accidents. I know potty training it hard. I took a much more laid back attitude with my 2nd child and he potty trained faster and a little ealier than my older son. I would also agree with the control issue. If there is only 1 thing I have learned as a parent is that children have ultimate control of over using the bathroom, eating and sleeping. We can encourage and guide our children as parents but they control what happens to their bodies. My ped. gave me great advice when I was potty training - he said - he will figure it out by the time he goes to kindergarten which my oldest did potty train before he was 3 1/2. I know when you're in the midst of it - it really does seem endless. I would stop the pottying battle with your daughter and try again in a month or 2. Also, I would I also encourage you to use positive reinforcement (having an incentive chart) like rewarding her for keeping her panties dry or going in the potty and try to stay away from the negative reinforcement for awhile - that can be reinforcing too (I made this mistake myself). You may have tried this - I would even buy a desired item and keep it up high in the bathroom and once they stayed dry or used the potty X number of times then they got that item. Once my boys did well with telling me (not me taking them) and staying dry and they wouldn't stop playing to go to the bathroom - I would take that toy away but that was after the pottying was well established. I do think having her clean up the mess when she has an accident is a very natural consquence.

The spanking won't work! I think in the beginning it was a game to her, and she was getting lots of attention, so she did great. Now she's not thinking about it as much (taking her ever 30 min doesn't teach her to hold it a little and listen to her body) and also CONTROL is another issue at this point. Eating, sleeping, and potty are the three big issues that you can't really control with kids and she's testing out one of those.

I ended up putting mine back in pull-ups, and not the cute princess ones. So she could either wear her princess panties or a pretty boring pull-up. And then I stopped reacting to it, making it her choice instead of trying to make it mine. But also make it so you don't react and it's not a big production of her going anywhere and everywhere.

She also may have a sub-conscious issue between becoming a big girl (at 3) and staying a baby. Some kids go through that around their birthdays.

Good luck! They are all different so I hope you find what works for her.

Allow her to clean up the mess she makes, every single time. Also make going to the potty more fun. Keep "special" potty time things in there... toys or books or whatever keeps her happy; making a "special" trip to the potty should be something she looks forward to. Spanking her might work but in the long run she will not learn to do things because they need done but because she was forced to. Sounds like you have a wonderful and VERY intelligent child. Using the cute panties, versus the ugly pullup is definitely an option. I would start the day with panties and after the second or third infraction for the day switch to pull ups. It's alot less fun to pee all over the house when you have to clean it up.

Many Blessings!!

T.:

I too am a working mom with a daughter. She is nearly grown now but we went through a similar issue with her at your daughter's age. Potty training became a real challenge until I decided that I was doing it more for me than for her.

I agree with the other suggestions of putting her back in pull-ups. Rest assured she will get it eventually but for now it's not worth pushing the issue. When she is ready she will use the potty and have few if any accidents.

A tool I used was a video called "It's Potty Time." My daughter LOVED it (of course it was a video and she was allowed to watch it on TV - what's not to love?) It is a potty training video that teaches kids good bathroom skills and etiquette! They still sell it and you can find it on the internet. My copy has made the rounds through our friends and family and there have been no complaints.

Good luck!

I went through sort of the same thing with my daughter, but it was with poopy. I agree spanking is not the answer I did this one time and felt so bad and she did not even seem to care. I started buying a few (cheap) toys at the store and everytime she went in the potty she got a new toy. I also took away things she could do. I would just sit her down and tell her big girls don't go poop in their panties and if she did that then she could not do big girl things like go to the park. I tried (really hard) not get upset when she pooped I just told her big girls do not do that and had her help me clean herself up (she hated that). Finally after a week she just started going again by herself. I think the more I showed fustration the more she didn't want to go. Good luck I know how fustrating it can be.