Potty Training Two Year Old Question

I bet that watching the kids at preschool using the potty will motivate her. My son used the potty the first time in when he started daycare and saw the other kids doing it. He was 2. My daughter is already starting because she sees her brother and the kids at daycare -- she's 1. Don't stress about getting it done before preschool. See if preschool does the work for you. Good luck!

I think you just need to wait a bit until she is ready; she's a little young to expect her to be totally trained. What she's doing so far is great. The day care provider will be used to changing diapers of 2 year olds. Some kids will hold there poop until they get home, but I wouldn't count on it.

A little @ me: Child psychiatrist in Palo Alto with kids 19 and 12, and a great husband/father of 21 years.

In my opinion, two is pretty early to be fully potty trained. She is still pretty tiny and may, developmently, need to still use diapers for her own reasons. OR she is using them to control you.

However it is, you won't win a war about potty training. She has all the ammo.

What you can do is always encourage her, support her and reward her when she engages in a behavior that you want her to do and ignore (and/or don't give a lot of energy or attention to)behavior you don't want to encourage.

And from an old mom with grown up kids, honestly, she is so little, just let her be a little girl for a while longer.

I just finished potty training my daughter (26 months) and it was actually much easier than I thought. She had been using the toilet randomly for about 4-5 months. We tried potty training her at 22 months when I was 7 months pregnant and it was too stressful and she was not quite ready. At 26 months she seemed really ready and we switched to panties in the day and pull ups at night. After about 3 days she would rarely have an accident and after 2 weeks she hasn't had any pee accidents and after 3 weeks no poop accidents. The 1st few days I put a big picture of Elmo (she loves elmo) on the fridge and everytime she used the potty she got to give a sticker to Elmo. This was more effective than candy and then we started giving her quarters when she pooped to put in her piggy bank. She has princess underwear and I told her that we can't pee or poop on the princesses and that seemed to work too.

Hi P.,

I know you want her to be potty trained, but it doesn't seem to me that she's ready yet. Not quite 2 is still very young to be fully potty trained and with the big change of preschool coming up I wouldn't add any extra pressure to what will already be a lot of stress for her. She will be distracted by new toys, new people and a whole new routine so to ask her to take on the potty in the midst of all that seems like it might be too much to ask.

I would just leave her as she is for now and let her take the lead. She seems like she's just about there, just give her a little time to take that leap on her own.

Just my two cents. D.

Does she have 'big girl' underwear? That is how I got my second daughter to finally give up diapers! And a potty for her because she was scared to death of the big toilet (that was after going to an amusement park and her experiencing the automatic flush! ugh!) I have 3 kids--my first daughter was pt'd at 1, my second daughter at 2.5, and now my son who is 2.5 goes on the potty occassionally. He will even ask to use the big potty at the stores like everybody else (of course that's when I put a diaper on him and that makes it more difficult actually!) So, I guess only time will tell when one is truly ready to give up diapers forever! :-) Maybe I should take my own advice and get my son some 'big boy' undies? haha! Best of luck to you!

P.,
What about a rewards system? Maybe stickers on a chart and then at the end of the month she can pick out a new toy? Or also there is the m+m rewards. It all depends on what you are into doing for rewards and what you allow you kids to have.
W. M.

Hi P.,
With the new baby in the house, she is probably holding on to that little bit of extra attention. (that's not a bad thing) Toilet training is definitely a process more than it is an event.
My younger one is 2.5 now and still just playing around with it like most of the children in our nursery school class.
The first thing I thought was, "thank goodness she's pooping at all." It's not uncommon for a toilet training child to get the hang of peeing first. For my son I think the poo thing took several months. We hardly pushed him, but it seemed to be just enough for him to push back. He held it in until he was constipated and cranky. Once he finally went, it hurt and left small rectal tears making it even worse for the poor little dear!
Peeing in the toilet and pooping in a diaper is still forward motion, so let her take the lead.
My childrens' nursery school doesn't require they be out of diapers either, but the other children who are fully toilet trained really help the ones who are not. Find out if they make "field trips" to the bathroom in little groups in nursery school and ask if they can include your little girl even if she is not using the toilet. We did that at our school and seeing the little friends go made him feel it was ok and not scary.
Good luck!

Hi P.,
My two daughters (almost 3 years and almost 22 months) are both potty training right now. Don't push her to go on the potty, she will go in her own time. My youngest just started going poo poo on the potty this weekend but my oldest says it's "too hard" and has never gone on the potty. We use a reward system of M&M's or jelly beans (they get to choose).
Wishing you all the best in your potty training efforts!
J.

I agree with the other posts about her being too young yet. I think we as a society try to push our toddlers into early independence and forget that certain things must come in their own time. Yes, it's frustrating, but here's a fact to keep in mind: The average age of girls to be daytime potty-trained is 33 months (almost 3), and the average age of boys is 38 months (over 3). Even after they've mastered the daytime training, it'll still be a while before they're completely potty trained. I think your daughter is showing remarkable knowledge of her body and its functions!!!

I have never heard of a preschool that expects kids to be potty trained at 2yo. Are you sure they require that? It sounds like your daughter is making good progress for being almost two. My son's preschool started at age two and had no expectation that kids would be potty trained. It was a mainstream preschool.

As to why you really should not rush it, you can end up in a power struggle that can delay success by many, many months. Using the potty is the first real bargaining chip your child has, and she will figure this out if she is pressured. It sounds like she is doing well, and encouragement is fine, but if she feels like you're feeling stressed about it, depending on her temperment, she might see he first opening for exerting control. Trust me, you do *not* want that to happen!

I potty trained my son at this age (because I was pregnant and didn't want two in diapers.) Because he was still so small, he had his own little potty at home. I think at first he was fearful of the big toilet, but within a month or so he wanted to use it and did!
Also, I got rid of all the diapers and went straight to underwear. This may be harder for you as you have a younger baby, but if you stick with it and be gentle, persistent and firm I bet she'll do just fine (especially since she obviously has the awareness and control necessary to get to the bathroom on time.)
So many people say don't rush it but I'm telling you, why stay in diapers any longer than you need to? Yuck! Your child will be so much more comfortable and clean and you will have one less chore to do.
Also, a good preschool will encourage two year olds to go potty and wash hands throughout the day. Most kids who go to preschool at this age are fully trained by age three.
Good luck :)

My daughter chose Cheetos as her reward. They were/are her favorite treat when we splurge on junk food.

I agree that two is young, but she sounds very ready in a lot of ways. I agree with making sure she has a potty seat that she is comfortable on. Also, I would strongly suggest offering her a very small reward (one M&M, a jelly bean, a chocolate chip--something very small) that she can ONLY earn when the pee and poo go in the potty. (My girls initially got one for being dry when we went into the bathroom, one for pee, and one for poo. Getting all three was a BIG deal. :) ) Make sure it is something that she really wants and only gets in relation to using the potty. Good luck!

I really do understand your desire to have only 1 child in diapers, but...I think you are rushing it a bit. I am a former preschool teacher, and I would think that the school will expect a child of that age to be in diapers. Also, the school experience will encourage her to use the toilet when she sees other children her age using the potty. Don't worry and if you are concerned, talk the the school.
I would expect her to get the connection when she is at school!

Does she have a potty chair that is her size?

My daughter was afraid of falling in the toilet and being pulled down and whirl-pooled out.

We bought a potty chair just her size and sat it in the bathroom. We put in baby wipes in the bathroom to make clean up easier. My daughter is 8 and still uses wipes to clean herself. Okay, it's a whole family habit.

Stephanie