Potty Woes

OK I know this is going to sound realy cruel but my son refused to poop in the potty. I tried everything. He would go the same time every day an if I sat him on the potty he would refues to go and not go that day at all and it would be wore the next day. He hates cold water, so I decide after a year of this that when he would poop in his pants I put him in the bath tub and sprayed him off with cold water it only took three time of this and he deside to go to the potty.

H.

One thing that might help is to use Fleet glycerine suppositories. My second child didn't like to poop on the potty, so I put a suppository in and had her go sit on the potty. She then would have the urge to go and then have success. I would put a sitcker chart next to the potty and when she has been successful a certian number of times, she can have a predetermined prize. She will be able to see her progress on the chart. I don't suggest using the suppositories for a prolonged period, just a few times. If she doesn't like it, she may be even more motivated to go so she doesn't have to use them. You can buy those over the counter in the pharmacy at the grocery store. Good luck!

If she will sit on the potty to pee then she is not afraid, right? My son was having trouble with going in public, especially at school, and b/c of that he became terribly constipated. I realize your daughter is not holding it, but maybe the advice my doctor gave me will help you. She suggested having my son sit on the toilet at the same time everyday, for a fairly long amount of time. He is 7 so she recommended 10-15 minutes. I'm sure you would need to shorten that for your daughter. Don't approach this as a punishment, or time-out. She recommended letting him play with his GameBoy, read a book, watch a movie (on portable DVD Player), and eventually his bowels will train themselves that this is when I go. We have been getting up early so he can do this before school. He has voided a time or two, but we have only been at it for about a week, so I can't really see a schedule yet. You could try this a couple of times a day with your daughter and just see what happens. The key is consistency with this method, that goes for weekends too, so be sure you pick a time that's convenient. Maybe once she goes a couple times she'll realize it's really much better than going in her underpants.

Hello, I had the same problem with my son. I have an idea, but it is kinda grose, but it worked for me. Have her clean them out while you watch. I did that to my son and he only had to do that twice and now he never goes poo in his pants anymore.

I am in your boat. i have 4 children and my last one is 4 and she has the same poop problems. I read that they may have a constipation problem which makes liquid poop go around the large poop stuck inside of them which messes up their undies. i have to make her go and hold her hand she almost always has large stools. i am trying to give her more water and fiber. good luck

When you say 'potty' do you mean training potty.....maybe she's ready for the big girls 'potty'. Have you tried placing her on the toilet? She may be a little apprehensive about doing her business in something that looks like a 'cereal bowl'. Try placing her on the toilet as this will make her feel more like a big girl since she is in big girl panties.

Some kids are embarrassed to poop in front of someone else. A friend of mine's little girl had this same problem and pooping in her pants was less embarrassing to her than pooping on the potty with her mom watching her, regardless the punishment. Pooping in her pants was something she had done her entire life so it was not embarrassing at all to her. Her mom bought her a book called "Everyone Poops" and read it to her every morning. She also started taking her with her whenever she had to go poop so she would realize that everyone does it and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

At five yrs. old she is very able to control this behavior and you will just have to find something that she likes and take it away just like you would for any other child who is misbehaving. You mentioned she also cleans out her panties and you do too. Put the child back in a diaper if she's going to use her pants. No more big-girl panties ... she is not acting like a big girl and pooping in her pants. Big girls DO NOT poop on themselves! The two of you could get sick from this unnecessary cleaning and it should be avoided. You're going to have to play "mean mom" and get this over. They make small adult diapers that might fit her if the baby ones don't. I bet you won't have to bother long with this problem if she's back in a diaper tomorrow. It's for her own good and yours too.

Have the almost 5 year old clean the poop out of the panties.
She is able to do this. If she is just refusing to go on the potty have her clean the panties. Give her the choice. Don't back down and clean them for her.

I will have her checked by the dr. to make sure everything is okay and if it is I will be a little more firm with her. Moniter her notice when whe has a bm and start placing her on the toilet and let her sit there for a while if she soils her undies once she gets off the toilet w/o using it let her clean her own in the toilet she will soon get the hint.

Make her clean her panties out in the toilet when she soils them.

When she tires of cleaning them she will use the potty.

She's almost 5 and you've ruled out medical problem. This is a discipline issue. She's the one in control and calling the shots. At 5 (or almost) she is in complete control and can use the toilet whenever she decides. As it is now, though, she gets to dictate when you clean her pants (even if she's helping). Don't tolerate it another day.
Sit her down and explain the rules (only one really).
Rule: All members of this family use the toilet for all forms of excrement (I'm sure you'll choose other wording).
Consequences: Any family member who chooses to willfully wet or soil themselves loses the privilege of leaving the house. That person also loses the privilege of wearing any type of undergarment, pants, or shorts.
Put her in a dress or long T-shirt -- only! No other clothing (underwear, shorts, etc.) Then she can't soil her underwear because there won't be any. She might poop on the floor, but it's a lot less likely. If she does, she cleans it up & loses more privileges, like TV, toys, video games, etc.
This might sound harsh, but you need to get this resolved quickly. Don't let her go to any kind of daycare, preschool, nursery, or any other fun place till she starts using the potty. If you're worried about constipation, give her some mineral oil.
Hope it goes well. I know it won't be easy, but "pulling out all stops" and doing it quickly will probably turn out easiest in the long run.

This is P., I have been raising kids for 27yrs, First off she has you pegged, she knows this upsets you and is using it as a attention getter from you.. you focus more on her and so dose everyone in the house...

How to solve the problem.
1. stop giving her underwear.. when she gets home take off her underwear, take it out of the draws. It is a privilege to use the toilet, not not a struggle. When she starts to realize that you will not put up with it any longer she will start using it.. you have tough her to dis behave and so this is her rebellion over you.. which later in life she will also use other things as Eating distorter, and wetting the bed. when she dose use the toilet give her only one underwear. let her work to get it back.

I am 45yrs old I am helping to raise my grandchild 2 yrs old she has been potty trained as the old days at 18months old, even i have had this problem with my daughter child, and this works with every child. even yours... I just did this in the last 6 months. Now we are working on night time training and so far.. only 2 mishaps. not bad..... my methods are harsh but we women have been doing it this way since 1900 that I personally know of. My great great grandmother had my father potty trained at 16months old, and i was potty trained at 19months old my daughter was 18months old. so My ways work.

When a mother gives her child power over the family... The child loses control.

Do not pay attention to her during this time, do no look her in the eyes, do not even talk about it.. just clean up the mess and walk away go into another room when you are done. go read a book act like nothing ever happed..

as for your older daughter.. make sure she gets to do something like make cookies with daddy.. NOT YOU... DADDY.. you are the reason she is doing this.. So let a father, take his place in the house hold. let the older daughter and her father go out for Ice cream..

and you sit in a chair read a book, let the little girl just do what she normaly dose.. it will dawn on her and she will start using the toilet.. she will want the ice cream with dad an sissy, or you to spend time with her..

Just remember.. there is no talk ever about this again in the house hold.. let her be...... don't even let her hear you talk on the phone, or in person with friend, or relitives.. the word is mumms.. This will help..

have you tried a reward system? everytime she poops in the potty giving her a star by her name and then when she gets a certain number of stars (you pick the number, i use the number 20) let her go to the store and pick out a small toy or u give her a surprise?

P.,

I know what you are going thru. My son just turned 4 and he has this pooping on the potty issue as well. He will go pee, but for some reason the poop is an issue. He will go in his big boy pants or pull ups, but the potty is almost like a "no no". I don't agree with what some of the ladies are saying, because discipling them for not pooping in the potty can tend to make them revert backwards. We have the reward system here...he has a twin sister and she goes poop in the potty w/out any problems. They get 2 jelly beans for pooping on the potty. He usually will go off by himself and come to me after the fact to change him, so I know he doesn't have issues with going. I have tired the threating to put in diapers because "babies" do it and he would be fine with that. It just seems like a "will" issue, to see who will win...and I will win. LOL
I think PRAISING has been my best friend, yesterday he actually went in the potty and I praised him like it was the biggest thing in the world. His sister praised him. When hubby got home, he praised him, so we shall see what happens in the next few days, weeks.
I know we get tired of cleaning up poop, but hang in there...she will get it. I know I see signs with mine, so catching him is the hardest part. Praise her when she does a great job.
Mine doesn't have a set time when he goes, so setting him on the potty for hours on end is pointless. If he tells me he has a tummy ache or has to go, I put him on the potty. It doesn't always work, but I keep working on it and he will get it. Maybe the age change for him, made it click...just like going pee on the potty. My daughter was trained a good six months before he was, so maybe it has to work that way with the poop issues.
Good luck and keep us updated.
Also, while I'm thinking about it. Is she showing signs of it being painful? If so, try using Mineral Oil with her drink, it makes it smoother and helped with DD. I, personally, also recommend Miralax, it will help regulate them and maybe get her on a schedule for it.
Just some suggestions from a mom that feels what you are going thru.
Take care,
God Bless,
J. D

Proud Blessed Momma to Ash & AJ ~ 4 yrs old