I have and 11 year old daughter who is on an emotional roller coster. I know it is the age and the changes her body is going thru, but sometimes I wonder if it isn't more. You never know what will set her off crying. She gets mad way to easy. It is like there is an on and off switch to her crying. I know some of it as to do with my husband's (her dad) stroke, and the changes we've gone thru. But we have had thyroid problems in my family, so I can't help but think that maybe she has one. I don't want to sound like a hyprecondreact, so before I call the doctor will you other mothers PLEASE help before I lose all of my hair!
Thank you to all who answered!! I'm tring out the new ideas that I was sent, plus I have a well being check up set up for Shantel. She is going to go to a friend of ours, that is like an aunt, to spend some time with and talk to. So, hopefully in about a month I will be able to put on here "Shantel is doing great!!"
Hey, E., how's by you?
I agree with the other moms--1) get anything medical ruled out and 2) this is probably puberty + changes at home.
Thyroid problems run in my family, too. But for some reason, when I was 12 years old and told my mother to "cram it", my thyroid NEVER EVEN CROSSED HER MIND. She just seemed to think I was being a mouthy, ungrateful little snot and grounded me.
It could just be her age. My daughter is now 16 and that is about the age she started being emotional. Was perfect before that. She may just be getting ready to start her menstrual cycles. I am sorry to say, she still is emotional and dramatic sometimes. I don't think it gets better for a long time. Its a difficult age. She did go to a couple counseling sessions though, which was helpful.
Have you considered that it may be childhood depression? I know when people think of depression, they think that someone has to be moping around and completely unsocial, however, many times it will present itself in just the way you are describing. Quick to anger, quick to cry, etc. Obviously you don't want to overlook the possibility that it could be a thyroid issue since that runs in your family. The best thing to do would be to get on top of it quickly. It never hurts to check into things. I would take her to the doctor and have her tested for a thyroid problem. Then I would start looking for a local counselor or someone else she can talk to about how she is feeling. It sounds as if she has really gone through a lot in her short 11 years, not to mention that this is a hard time for all kids with the changing hormones, etc. I wish you the best.
I don't think you are being a hypochondriac. Sounds like your mom radar is going off because there could be something actually wrong other than raging hormones. I would take her to a doctor to rule out any physical problem. But it really does sound like she has something bottled up inside that's bothering her. I'm sure seeing her dad in his condition is very upsetting. She may not want to talk to you about it because she knows you are already so burdoned with taking care of him and she doesn't want to make things harder on you. She may need someone to talk to, like a counselor or other trusted adult, to work it out.
First thing I would do is go to the doctor and rule out anything medical. You may have to insist on him doing the tests for thyroid even I had to with myself. I know how that thyroid can make you a roller coaster. I as well know how depression can. You said you husband had a stroke. This is a lot on a 11year old. It is as well a lot of changes in how your husband acts I am sure. She just may need some counseling and nothing is wrong with that. Sometimes they can't talk to their parents about things like this because they don't want to hurt their parents. She could be scared dad is going to die. Please by all means follow your gutt moms no their children better then anyone.
I understand not wanting to act like a hypochondriac. But sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Go to the doctor. Maybe she has some sort of imbalance somewhere (thyroid or something else) that is causing her to have such severe mood swings. The sooner you know what to do (giving her medications or just sucking it up to deal with the tween and teen years) the better off your whole family will be. I'm bi-polar and i could've been given help a lot sooner if my mom would've listened to me. Good luck!
As I was reading this I was thinking to my self "welcome to my world" I have a 12 year old who will be 13 this summer and that is an exact description of how she acts. I have talked to other mother's and I really don't think this is out of the ordinary. I am sure that what happened to her father has affected her....has she been to any counseling? I know that sometimes that can get expensive, but even maybe a talk with the school counselor? There are also programs sometimes that are "income based" and such.
E.,
Please go to the doctor and have a blood test for the thyroid. Yes your daughter maybe having problems with it. Also talk to the doctor about stress and how it maybe affecting her. Each of us handles stress differently and your family has had a very stressful few months.
Good luck!!
I also have an 11 year old daughter who has mood swings, but has not started her monthly cycle yet.
I've learned that as long as you aren't taking your child to the doctor for every sniffle and cough, that it is fine to take her when you really feel something isn't quite right. It never hurts to get a professional opinion. I struggle with the decision to take her in to the doctor all the time, figuring they will say it's nothing or a virus that has to run it's course, but worrying that it could very well be something more serious.
Better safe than sorry I always say. With so much going on in today's society, depression is so much more prevalent and not something to shrug off. If she is experiencing an imbalance of some kind, it's better to start taking care of it earlier than later.
Good luck
My daughter is the same age and going thru the same things. Her school councelor has helped tremendously with the anger issue and she is now in control of her anger. She still cries at the drop of a hat and sometimes often. She is going thru the change and it shows in her body as well as her emotions. Let her talk with the school councelor and check out books from the library for her about her period and her changing body. We did that and it helped a whole lot. Good luck and don't stress to much, we all have gone thru it just at different ages.
If you can take the time, stop by church. I have felt very overwhelmed with my 9, almost 10 year old daughter. Since she has gotten involved in Sunday School and church, she has had a more positive outlook in general. She is easier to talk to...and, she has other mentors (sunday school teachers) to talk to about her feelings now. I feel a weight has been lifted. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and I will pray that you find peace with you struggles and growing children.
Grace and Peace,
N.
Hi E.! I too have an 11 year old daughter and am experiencing an emotional roller coaster with her. My daughter is a very sweet and loving girl but at times just flies off the handle for no reason. Her 16 year old brother can try to do something for her and she will scream at him. She argues with her step dad about everything and will cry if I tell her no about something she wants to do. If things don't go just right its like the end of the world.
Just this week I talked to a co-worker that has a 15yr old daughter and an 11 yr old daughter and she says she has experienced the same things.
I just try to spend a little extra time with her. We have talked about the up and coming changes in her body. When she gets in one of "those moods" and runs to her bedroom, I give her a little time and then might curl up with her on her bed to watch one of her shows or suggest braiding her hair or something I know she enjoys us doing and while doing which ever activity we'll talk about how she just acted. Hope this helps.
I work at a Counseling Center and we see girls like her all the time...have you taken her to a counselor so she can learn how to deal with all the changes that are happening to her. Counselors can teach her (in a way that is good for her) how to sort through her feelings. And if it's more, a counselor will work with her Physician to find out if it's a Thyroid issue. (I would tell the counselor about the Thyroid history in your family.)
She sounds like she is getting ready to start her period. sorry to say girls are like that. My almost 15 yr old is doing that tooo. hang in there. try to be understanding but at the same time stand firm to rules. they came work you. my daughter does not act likt that around anyone but us. Try talking to the doctor and talk to them about it too. let me know what you figure out. Best wishes
Wow. It sounds like you are very busy. Do you think maybe your daughter needs more MOM time? Maybe there is something you can do together - cook meals, a craft or hobby. I'm probably wrong, but it couldn't hurt to try. It would only bring you closer before she hits those teen years. I wish the best to you.
Well i know by my niece who is 9 going on 30 ...its easier to talk to me then her mother cause she feels she might say somthing to her mom to get her in trouble ....so i would have someone that she looks up to like an aunt or older cousin or even a granny to talk to her , maybe do somthing fun that will get her to open up and talk ....for some reason you always feel better talkin to any one then your mother lol...usaully with thyroid problems theres a wieght gain or loss, hair loss ,dryness of the skin ,things like that ...so dont rule that out .just find out the exact syptoms and pay close attention...hope i helped
You need to get her checked out. You also might need a little R/R for yourself, some counseling might help the family. Your husbands condition could have a far more greater effect on your daughter then you think especially if he was one of those father's that was always strong, there, supportive & she knew would be there. Try praying & going to church to seek help of a pastor/priest isn't expensive. Good luck to you, your family & God Bless!
