Pregnancy - Brooklyn,NY

J.,

I'm sorry. You really need to have a vaginal ultrasound done to see if there is no heart beat.

There is NO bone in front of your uterus. So there is nothing to block vision and at 10 weeks - the bones are not solid enough to be a hindrance. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to hurt you. Please know I've lost 3 babies. I feel your pain.

However, do NOT let them do anything other than an vaginal ultrasound until you have seen there is NO heart beat.

Good luck!

J.,

I am so sorry to hear of your situation. Chances are, however, that if you have had two ultrasounds determining that there was no heartbeat, then you do not have a viable pregnancy.

I have known some people who wanted to wait a bit for the miscarriage to happen on its own. This largely depends on the hormone signals in the body. From my friends, I can tell you that the longer you wait to have a D&C, the harder it may be for both your physical and emotional health.

If it were me, I would go back to the doctor and it's likely they will check once more to make sure that they didn't make any mistakes. Then, if they are still confirming a non-viable pregnancy, please do go ahead and schedule the procedure. This is done to ensure that you maintain good reproductive health for future pregnancies.

Everyone I have ever spoken to has said nothing but good things about the doctors and nurses they interacted with during their D&Cs. I have lost three pregnancies myself, and I know how much you were hoping for a baby. It's very hard. Consider talking to your doctor about getting some medical help (good painkillers for after the procedure) and a possible referral to a counselor who specializes in this sort of loss. It IS a huge disappointment when a baby is wanted and not able to grow. But it doesn't mean you aren't able to get pregnant or have a baby-- it was just that *this* one stopped growing.

I'm so sorry. Please, take good care of yourself, get help in keeping your body healthy. If it's any consolation, I know quite a few women who had very successful pregnancies after losses such as these. I ended up getting pregnant with our son shortly after our last miscarriage. So please, take care to make sure your body will healthy and able to manage a pregnancy when you do become pregnant again. For what it's worth, in hindsight, I would have rather had a D&C than having the days of intense cramping which comes with a 'natural' miscarriage. You will have to do what is best for you. Please make sure to take care of your health right now. That is what is most important at this point. So sorry. It's a hard spot to be in.

I'm sorry. I went through something similar but it was a routine ultrasound. They gave me three options; wait it out and miscarry naturally, a pill to induce, or a D&C. I chose the first option and one of the reasons was just to be sure, and maybe closure. I remember googling to look for stories that turned out positive, I felt like you, like maybe they were wrong. Anyway, it happened naturally at around 11 weeks. Best wishes to you and take care.

I don't see any harm in waiting 3 to 4 weeks and seeing what happens.
If there are any life signs you should be able to detect them.
If not - you might spontaneously miscarry or not - every so often you hear of a calcified fetus.

Please go to the ER and have them do blood levels and an ultra sound, vaginal, so they can get a clear picture. The baby needs to pass if it is beyond help and it could be making you sick.

My daughter suffered a miscarriage, she passed the fetus in the blood and tissues that came out, and still had pregnancy symptoms a few weeks later. She had been carrying twins and the one still viable could have had problems due to the tissue left inside. She had to have close medical care for the next few months.

I am so sorry.

I don't think the symptoms are in your head or wishful thinking on your part.

My SIL found out at the beginning of her second trimester that her baby had died/stopped developing at around a few weeks before but that her body didn't know it and her placenta, I believed, continued to do what it is suppose to do as if she was pregnant. She never miscarried and ended up having a D&C. So sad.

Take care of yourself.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through. A year ago I had an ectopic pregnancy and that was the hardest thing I ever had to endure. I had a lot of ultrasounds, the first showed sac fading away and the rest showed an empty sac. I was told that everything would pass on its own and was not recommended for a D&C. I was still pregnant a week later and had my blood drawn and was later treated for an ectopic pregnancy. Meaning my pregnancy was not in the uterus but the doctors were unable to locate the fetus so they recommended me be given a shot to terminate the pregnancy so I would not have any life threatening complications such as rupturing my fallopian tubes. I felt like I lived at the Obgyn. I was seen every week for 3 months because that's how long it took for my HCG levels to decrease to a normal non pregnancy level. But there's light at the end of the tunnel, eight months later I became pregnant again and am expecting a baby girl. Losing a baby is devastating and surreal, I felt like the doctors were crazy and didn't know what they were talking about. Take it one day at a time and be around supportive people!!
Best of luck and keep your head up!!!