J.J.
Hi K., First of all let me express my deepest sympathies for you. I really hope you are not blaming yourself. I am sure it isn't anything you did that made that happen.
I do however believe it trying to have the healthiest pregnancy that you can. I don't think eating for 2 is ever a good way to go about things. So I did some Yoga exercises and used this cook book for making meals.
http://www.amazon.com/American-Heart-Association-No-Fad-D...
I loved this book because it had some really down to earth recipes that didn't require alot of ingredients. I didn't use it to lose weight but just to stay healthy. There is a really great recipe for BBQ Chix pizza that I even made healthier with using whole wheat boboli pizza crust. We still make it.
I was also about your weight and height when I got pregnant and I ony gained about 23 pounds while I was pregnant. Also, try to remember, that your mental health is the most important during this time. You are just as important as the life growing inside you.
My thoughts will be with you and your husband.
Many Blesings,
J.