I was going to place my son for adoption, for a number of different reasons. Throughout the entire pregnancy, I kept myself distanced. I didn't tell a lot of people. I only referred to my son as "the baby", I didn't look at baby clothes, I didn't look at toys. I put that mental block up so that when the time came, I would not have that emotional connection. I had a family picked out who had a daughter from a previous adoption and who had a woman pull out at the last minute.
Once my son was born, I left him in the nursery the first day. The second day, I had them bring him to me so that he wouldn't be alone. All of that distancing I had done didn't matter. I was so emotionally connected and I was trying so hard not to be. I even went home from the hospital while my son stayed, still planning on going through with the adoption. While I was at home, everything in my life seemed different. It was like there was a huge void missing. I cried, I thought about the family I had chosen, I prayed about it, and came to the conclusion that I could not do it. I called the adoption counselor and told her I couldn't do it. To her credit, she didn't try to pressure me to continue, so for that I am grateful. I felt horrible for the family. I had been taught all my life to honor your commitments and the fact that I had committed to this family weighed very heavily on me. But when push came to shove, I had to make the right decision for myself, not for this family.
Would my son have had a better life with them? Maybe. I wasn't worried about finances or being able to take care of my son or being able to love him. There were a lot of ramifications based on my family and my son's father's family. I didn't even tell my family or my son's father's family until after he was born. (My son's father knew.) Some of those ramifications didn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things and some things have caused some difficultly, but that has long since passed and I know I made the right choice in keeping my son.
For Jenn, maybe adoption would have been a better choice for her child, maybe it wouldn't have been. There are a million things that could happen that would cause the child to have a worse life with the adoptive family. You never know. As long as Jenn isn't endangering or neglecting her children, then support her. Or support Suzie. If you don't know Jenn personally, you don't know the whole story. A lot of times when we are told a story, we don't have all the details and the bad is exaggerated or the good left out. And sometimes vice versa, the good is exaggerated and the bad left out.
Putting myself in Jenn's shoes, I can't imagine how she would be able to go through with an adoption, especially after already having a child. And not trying to put any blame here, but since she already backed out of an adoption once, I'd say it's a very high chance that this would happen again and I would hope that the family had prepared themselves for this possibility. Hopefully when she is back on her meds, she will be able to even out and not feel so frazzled. It seems like Suzie is happy, so hopefully she will be able to help out at times.
I'm not judging you, because I felt the same way before my experience. I have immense respect for women that are able to go through with adoptions, but for me, it was not the right choice.