Pregnant Mother with Anxiety and Panic Disorder

Updated on February 28, 2008
M.H. asks from Kansas City, MO
23 answers

I am pregnant with my first child, though a surprise, a blessing! I have dealt with anxiety and panic dosorder for most of my life and am wondering if anyone else has dealt with this while being pregnant and going through labor and delivery. My daily anxiety is controlled with counseling and medication, but I have never been able to handle needles, blood, doctors/dentist offices, and HOSPITALS! Most of my doctors and other medical professional chalk it up to "all first time mothers feel this way." It is definitely a mix of first time pregnancy but ALSO my panic disorder when it comes to these situations. Anyone else been through this? Any advice/info would be appreciated!

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So What Happened?

I want to thank you all soooo much for your words of encouragement. And, for sharing your personal experiences with me. I was on cloud nine after realizing that many others have dealt with this same issue. I am currently keeping myself educated with reading and have enrolled in childbirth education classes. Though, actually going through the classes seems difficult as I don't do well with stories, videos, or seeing the hospital. Hopefully it will put me at ease! I also have a notebook that is strictly for journaling feelings of pregnancy/anxiety/panic, for concerns, questions, etc. That way I always have everything together when I see the Doctors. I was bragging to my counselor about how supportive you all have been! I am not due until June, but will definitely update everyone and share my experience for others facing the same issue! Take care!
Meg

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L.K.

answers from Springfield on

I have also had problems with anxiety and I was worried I might freak out during labor and delivery. Instead, I did great. I had read every book I could get my hands on and I watched a lot of those labor and delivery shows on cable. It all really helped me! Anyway, be open with your doctor and prepare as much as you can. Part of preparing is realizing you don't have complete control over the birth.

Also, keep in mind that everyone in the labor and delivery room has dealt with a lot of birthing mothers. The nurse I had with my first baby was so great. She even stayed past her shift so she could stay with me until my son was born. It was a rough and long labor and delivery, but I did great and never freaked out. There were a few times that I said I couldn't take it any longer, but the staff helped coach me through it.

Good luck.

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S.D.

answers from Kansas City on

Boy do I hear ya there chicky! I can't even go into Wal-Mart without freakin out about all the people... it was worse once my belly started showing because everybody thought it was public property, and they were always asking when I was due, boy or girl, etc... yes to a certain extent, all first-time mothers are anxious, but take it from somebody that has been in your shoes, it'll all be okay! Just remember that everything you have to go through is so that you can have a healthy little one, and you'll never feel more shock, joy, and happiness than when they lay your baby on your chest for the first time. Hope this helps, feel free to hit me up anytime even if its just to vent! :)

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A.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Well, I don't suffer from anxiety or panic disorders, and I still prefer a home birth to a hospital birth because they take complete control over your experience. Even if they are a "progressive" hospital, they can ruin your birth experience. Get a midwife you are comfortable with to deliver you at home, get a really great doula (I recommend Sarah Wallbaum, mamasara.com), and plan to stay home to relax. Good luck!

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N.C.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi, M., I am a birth doula and massage therapist and have worked with clients who have similar issues as you mentioned. Here are some things that have been helpful to them, prenatal massage with essential oils that are good for anxiety, such as, Jasmine, Neroli(orange blossom), Geranium or Lavender. Massage can help bring a feeling of well-being and balance the subtle energies of your body, mind and spirit. Also, there is a technique you might learn called EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, that can be a tool to help yourself when you are feeling anxious. It is a simple technique that involves tapping certain acupressure points and saying affirmations about the issue at hand. There is info on line about it. Others have mentioned homebirth which is certainly a valid option. Educating yourself on what all your options are can give you a feeling of having more to say in the matter of how your birth will be. There are herbs and homeopathic remedies such as Bach Flower Rescue Remedy that can also be helpful. These are just a few of the things that I know can help. The point is that there are tools available if you want to use them. Being empowered in your own process does alot to lessen anxiety and strengthen your confidence in your ability to give birth, however you decide to do it. N.

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D.H.

answers from Kansas City on

If your pregnancy is healthy, then you might try a home birth. Most cities have home birth clinics, check your directory. I've had several friends who have given birth at home with wonderful results. Water births are really neat also. Just a thought you might look into.

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B.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Dear M., I have not been clinically diagnosed with panic disorder/anxiety, but I have had panic attacks in the past, especially when my stress level gets really high. I am a mom of three, and the only thing I can tell you is this: pray to God for strength and to get you through, and focus, focus, focus on what will be the end result-a beautiful, healthy precious baby. Even go as far as to find a picture of a beautiful baby and focus on it any time you have to go into the hospital for tests, or when you go into labor. I wish you well and really hope this works for you!

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J.K.

answers from St. Louis on

Find a caregiver who respects your real feelings and problems. Switch as many times as you can.

If you hate hospitals, you may want to consider a home birth. If you have severe anxiety about what could go wrong during the birth, though, I don't recommend it. Plus even with a home birth you must deal with the possibility of going to the hospital if it becomes necessary.

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B.T.

answers from St. Joseph on

Congratulations. I too, suffer from panic/anxiety, maybe not as severe as yours. I have had meds before, off and on when it gets bad. I also had anxiety towards needles and hospitals, due to lots of blood tests as a kid, then my mom having and dying from cancer when I was 19. Hospitals freaked me out. Couldn't stand the smell of them even, thought I'd pass out. I think that's why I waited 'til I was 27 to be pregnant the first time. Those motherly urges finally got so strong, I couldn't suppress them. I told myself, there are teenagers who do this every day (along with thousands of other women), surely I can! I wanted a baby so badly. I ended up having an emergency c-section. I wasn't nervous for the surgery. I was so ready to get him out. My son had problems and was in NICU for two weeks after birth. (He's 100% healthy ever since.) I don't tell you that to scare you, but to let you know, it all actually helped me. (I'm also the type that my pulse and blood pressure used to go up every time I went to the dr's office no matter why I was there.) Once you get used to having to go there so much and be around the medical stuff, the more comfortable I was w/it and now it doesn't bother me near as much. I also felt like God just carried me through it all. Through all I went through, the anxiety really stayed in control (w/o meds). I never panicked. I look back and can't believe how well I handled it all. For someone who has as much anxiety as I do, it was a miracle. I was so proud of myself for getting through it all. Like, "Wow, I can do this. I'm stronger than I ever thought." It was like the Footprints poem. I feel like God just carried us through it all. Pray for calming, courage, etc. Find out what you can do to relax: yoga (exercise helps w/anxious feelings), deep breathing, whatever works for you and do it often. I hope this helps you. Phil. 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength."
PS - I don't know about you, but sometimes me reading everything I can tends to make me a little more nervous. It just depends on how you handle that kind of thing. If something I was reading made me feel nervous, I just stopped. Focus on what you'll have at the end of this journey. As for those baby shows, I enjoy them a lot more now that I've been through it twice, than I did before. I think, "Wow, I've been there done that and have two GORGEOUS boys. b/c of what I went through."

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E.Y.

answers from Topeka on

I totally understand how you feel. While I have no problem with doctors or needles, hospitals are a huge source of anxiety for me. When it came time to go into the hospital to be induced, my husband had to talk me into the hospital. I was more than happy to have my son in my car or at home in my tub! LOL! I would suggest that you do everything you can to make sure you get the same doctor all the time (they usually have the same 1 or 2 nurses), take advantage of any classes you can take about childbirth and see if your hospital does tours of the labor and maternity ward (I haven't heard of any that don't do tours). What helped me out is knowing that at the end of it I would have my beautiful son. Don't forget any relaxation techniques you may use (I just plain forget to breathe) and use those before your appointments and before and during labor. Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

This may sound crazy, but as your pregnancy progresses, it will not matter as much to you. I was the same way. Hated doctors, needles, hospitals...but it gets easier. The chemical your body produces while pregnant chilled me out incredibly. By the time I went into labor, I just wanted the baby out. I was ready. And nothing phased me. I even had a c-section, and had no anxiety or stress! Good luck.

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C.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I do not have anxiety problems but I have known people that do. From what I know, the more you know, the easier it is to handle the situation. Part of the anxiety is the unknown factors. There are lots of things that you can do to prepare yourself for all the things that are going to be happening to you and your body over the next few months. Read! "What to expect when your expecting" is a great book but there are a lot of other good ones out there too. Find something to use as a reference book so that when something strange happens, you can look it up before you panic and call the doctor. There are a lot of strange feeling things that can happen during pregnancy that are perfectly normal so be prepared. Also, take a child birth class of some sort. The hospitals also offer classes on nursing and lots of other topics that can help you know what to expect and what to do when the time comes. You can also usually take a tour of the hospital that you will be in before you actually go into labor so that you are in a more familiar setting. With my first one, they did the tour as part of the child birth class. Make sure that you doctor is aware that this is a condition that you are on medication for and it is not just first time nerves and they should be able to help inform you about all your options. If you don't understand something, ASK. Doctors tend to assume that you know what they are talking about if you don't ask. Congratulations and good luck! Remember to breathe and you will be just fine.
C.

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L.B.

answers from St. Joseph on

I suffer from depression and anxiety. Wasn't diagnosed with the depression until after my first born but am pretty sure it was going on previously undiagnosed due to my mother's death. I can tell you watching those labor channels only agitated my anxiety over the birth of my second. I was depressed b/c I didn't want another child so close to my first and was dreading the pain of labor again and the loss of my body to my child.

I would recommend definitely taking any precriptions your Dr. recommends. In addition, I would seriously consider either a hypnosis class for relaxation or trying some yoga. Working with a counselor one on one will help immensely. Lastly, make sure, whoever you have in the labor room is going to be calming to you. You need to be able to focus and when that person gets in your face you need to be able to look them in the eye and be confident in following anything they tell you to do...you may even want to consider a doula...I have heard remarkable things about them and wish I would have had a woman with me that could have walked me through the process with much more confidence than I had with either child. Good luck and keep us posted. L. B (feel free to contact me anytime)

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H.J.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi M.,

I know you asked this question a while back but I too wanted to let you know that I have problems with anxiety attacks and panic attacks. I did not start experiencing them until after my daughter was born (now 2 1/2) and it was very frightening to me. I thought I was having a heart attack. I went on medication for about six months and then stopped. About a year later it started again and much more severe. I even called 911 a couple times because I thought there was something terribly wrong. I started seeing a counselor and was put on a higher dose of Lexapro. I am currently trying to conceive and my doctor is aware of my anxiety and says that once I will conceive I will be able to continue being on the medication. Going to a counselor really helps. And it's true what people say unless you've experienced a panic attack you really don't understand the fear that a person goes through when it is happening. You start to wonder if there is something terribly wrong or your crazy but believe me your not. So many people go through it and my counselor really helped me with that and still does. If you are still on something for your anxiety I would really suggest going to a counselor to talk to. They will help teach you breathing exercises so that if you think it might be coming on you can try to slow it down. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I wish you all the best. Take Care.

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

Congrat's to you,I have been on and off mediaction since I was 14 yr's now 28 and on no meds.I have been diagosed with several thing's now since I became an adult they all went away except the depressed feelings anxiety and panic feelings. I was on Paxil during my pregnacy with my 1st child I hated it but I tried for 3 yrs to get off working with my drs,finally while breastfeeding him I decedied it is time I don't want this to pass into my milk and have my Baby get this medication into his system,they deemed it was safe,but I did it cold turkey and it was hell withdrawls and all, for a long time but I kept my head up!! Now that I have 2 kiddo's my panic and anxiety has went into high gear,I had several things happen to me and all a result the drs told me is because of hormonal imbalance stress and postpartum depression a yr later i'am still feeling anxious about getting things done getting ready and my kiddo's it doesn't stop but I have hidden it from my family and husband I'am a worry wart like you wouldn't believe,I have managed without medication for 4 yrs I don't want to be on medication during pregnancy or nursing,but I may have to if thing's don't settle down it has been over a yr since my daughter was born and I'am considering it.
I don't stress over the drs actually I go to them for help and bloodwork make sure I'am ok,it is the other thing's in life that get me.You need to let your OB know that you have this disorder that it's not all due to being a first time pregnancy and make sure whatever medication you are on that it is completely safe to take while pregnant and if you breastfeed,if your hospital has a lactation consultant or a 2nd day clinic (Breastfeeding help) call them and give them the medication's they have a complete book on the studies and the effects of all medications.As your pregancy progresses you will feel different for me I loved it even though I got sick all the time.Keep up with your therapy, you are in control of your life and now carrying a life that is growing inside of you. I wish I could go back but I stress on who will watch my kids for an hr,I hate to burden grandparents unless it is abslutely necessary I can't bring them along.I'am a wife ____@____.com mom of 2.You will do what is best for you, and for the birthing process you have choices but be sure to know that your pregnancy is well and that there isn't any complications during your pregnancy so for you can do what ever you decide to do. As you know you can plan ahead to do it one way but it can change in a heartbeat. I wanted to have natural births and did but I wanted to go to a birthing center in the beginning of my 1st pregnancy my dr told me he didn't do that and several reason's why made sense to me why risk it so I said ok we'll do this in a hospital setting and I still can have a natural birth,I'm not going to tell you that everything will be fine cause the truth is I don't know but I will tell you that you have love and support from your family and friends.

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G.C.

answers from Springfield on

Congratulations!!! I was 36 when I had my one and only angel, and I am a single mom. I went through St. John's hospital and early on joined their "Teddy Bear Club." They have classes on everything from "Lamaze" - which I reccomend even if you don't plan natural labor - to infant CPR, even classes for grandparents-to-be! Cox probably has something similar. Anyway, going to the classes and meeting other moms-to-be was a great support to me. They really prepared us for what to expect, including a tour of the maternity ward and walk-through of admissions, etc. I really enjoyed the classes.
My sister has an extreme anxiety disorder, and the more she is familiar with something, the easier it is for her. Maybe getting involved could help you, too. Let your excitement take over, you get to be a MOM!!!!!

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J.M.

answers from Memphis on

M.,

As an RN, I have seen several patients who are afraid of docs, needles, hospitals, etc. What I would suggest to you is to contact your doc who counsels you and writes your scripts for meds for anxiety to speak with your OB. You are correct. Most docs would just think it is first time mother heebie jeebies. If you have a running documented history with medications, this needs to be discussed with your OB. Most docs would rather talk to another doc to get the whole scoop. I am not saying that your OB does not believe you, but you are a bit biased and your counselor would not be. A completely objective third person would make a much more impact on your OB. Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Sweetheart, i had my 1st panick attack at 16 when i was a unwed mother. I put my child up for adoption. I am 51 now and have found him . He is 36 and we have beeen together 6 years. I started having my bad attacks when i was 19, it was fears i had repressed from losing him. I got so bad I could not leave the house.When I had my baby thoug, believe me you will not have time to have pankick attack, everything just takes over. i was stuck in a room with no drugs, my parents were not allowed in, and all I could think is this got in here now it has to come out. I do so understand what you mean. My faith in the Lord has been thee only thing that has helped with panick attacks,yes i am on some meds. You will do great. Try very hard not to dwell on it all the time. Remember i was in there alone at 16 and didn't even get to come home or hold my joy. I will pray for you . Repeat I can do all things through christ. God blessed you with this child, he will see you through. Have faith . Do you know what the chaances of me finding my only son were about 1%. I have him and 2 grndchildren now. Yeah I am young maw maw. It is underlining fear that makes us panick, fear of the unknown. Things will be happening so fast you won't believe how well you get through it. Something about getting a cold wash cloth and putting on forhead while hubby talks soft helps. I will pray for you. Since then i have had about 5 surgery's and you get use to needles. I don't like hospitals either, but just think of what you are leaving with. You are not going to dye. I know it feels that way when you are having one. I wish i could take back all the years I panicked, and thought i was going to dye with my heart going over 200. Because i am 51 alive and those were wasted scared years. When you finally just say i can't stand to live like this any longer what's the worst that can happen, you get better. I remember somebody telling me that. I thought die that;s what. Well you don't you make it and you go home with that soft bundle of joy that i never got to feel. Think of me when you get scared i didn't even know I had ovaries then. I am being real. They were acually cruel at the hospital , as they use to punish little pregnant girls, unwed. Than God things have changed. 36 years later i have a great son, who i am Mom to and got to be there when his wife had her son. It is a piece of cake after what I went through. When you panick though nothing seems like a piece of cake. I hope everyone on here keeps you in prayer, please enjoy what i never got to. All those special first moments. You will do fine. Forgive my spelling i am writing fast and wanted to get this to you. God be with you , I am mommy 2, 2 little dogs to! You will do fine. get ahold of me if you like. I sure know about panick, God be with you , J.! P.s. Be sure and tell your nurse you are scared and panick, many of nurses have talked me through surgey's later. That makes a huge difference. Bless you and baby sweetheart, enjoy! I am jelous now when i saw my sisiter in law and daughter in law get to go through those prenant months. You look back and realized that panick was wasted. Fight through each attack. get your rag and man and say I am going to ride this out and be stronger till I don't have them anymore. I know some people have chemical [roblems that cause panick, we woman suffer more. Relax, you will regret it if you dont enjoy every little kick and things happening to you and baby now.Please enjoy

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L.W.

answers from Kansas City on

Although I don't knowingly deal with the specific disorders you do, I can give you a glimmer of non-medical hope. Before my first (of three) pregnancies, I was very queasy when it came to the blood and health things you mentioned. All I can tell you is that when I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and found myself pricking my finger 4x a day and having extra blood drawn at the dr's, "mind over matter" kicked in and all my mental focus went to the health of the child I hadn't even met yet. It kind of shocked me, actually. There was really no explanation for it except that when you have a child, your heart breaks wide open. I found this to be the first of many unconscious sacrifices I found myself making - and not minding a bit. It's really amazing to think that no pill or meditation technique can reach the strength and courage that grows inside a new mother. I bet the same could happen in you. I hope this hope helps a little. One last thing, when that little stranger decides it's time to meet the world, you really don't have a choice but to buck up and sneeze a bowling ball out of a keyhole! :-)

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J.E.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi M.. You have a lot of helpful advice here, so I will make mine short. Every persons situation and experience is different. I have panic/anxiety disorders and I am now in my second pregnancy and it is much worst than my first. For me it does get easier the further I progress in my pregnancies. I did deliver my first at St. John's and plan to deliver my next one there. I only had one nurse to deal with and she was very supportive with my situation. I did panic once I got into the delivery room. It did help a great deal to get the epideral and it calmed me and from that point I was just overly excited to finally get to meet my first daughter. It did help me to not look or concentrate on what they were sticking me with. The only thing I saw was my IV really, which I got used to really fast. For me I tend to try a mind over matter solution to my panic/anxiety and with the help of my husband and my nurse it helped me. I hope you find something that works for you - Good Luck!

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A.B.

answers from Fayetteville on

If I had the stamina to type all of it, I'd tell you QUITE a story about the anxiety about my surprise (and blessed) pregnancy! I understand how you feel, and the fact that you are aware and proactive about your health is great. I wasn't worried about the pregnancy or birth as much as the postpartum life. I would suggest taking a tour of the hospital you expect to deliver at, take a birthing class! The more you know, the less foreign it will be. You'll know what to expect. People have babies all the time, and most of the time, its "routine". Meditation and visualization helped me immensely, definately the best tool I was given going into the birthing process. I kept a sticky note in my planner on the day of each of my prenantal appts. and would write down questions I had so I would be prepared and be able to make the most of my appointments. Also, make sure you're comfortable with your doctor. They may see it as "first time mommy syndrome" but if you don't feel you're needs are being met or they're taking you seriously, let them know. You're not alone! And luckily when the labor/delivery process starts, you're body will be ready and is equipped with hormones and endorphins that will help you cope. You'll find strength you might not know you have! Good luck!

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R.W.

answers from Kansas City on

I have anxiety and panic, and survived two pregnancies and deliveries just fine; you can too. For me it's a control issue-- I have to feel in control, even in the hospital and in labor. So, I make it clear very early to the labor and delivery people that I am "in charge," and that I have anxiety attacks. Then, really lamaze helped a great deal. Your doctor can make sure you have the proper medication even while pregnant, and advise you what to do when you get to the hospital-- for me, it was to get the IV early, so I can make sure the meds are given when the panic comes on. But also realistically, when you're focusing on labor pains there's not much time to have panic attacks!

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M.M.

answers from Lawrence on

Hi M.,

People who don't have panic attacks don't understand how serious they are. I spent over 15 years dealing with them. It got to the point were I couldn't even drive. Out of the blue I would feel faint, sweaty, pounding heart, etc. My Dr. put me on Lexapro and it changed my life completely! I haven't had one in over 5 years! I don't know what medication you've tried, but that one really helped me. I'm not really sure what over advise to give you since I can totally relate. I would just keep trying different meds and know that you are not alone in this and many people have anxiety and panic disorders. I tried to keep mine quiet because I thought it was so weird, but once I found out it is an actual medical condition having to do with the serotonin in your brain it made me feel a lot more normal. Good Luck to you! Whatever happens you will get through it and will have a baby to enjoy afterwards! The other option is to ask for a C-Section and be sedated.

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V.L.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi M.-
CONGRATULATIONS!!! With my 3rd pregnancy I suffered from what I called, anxiety. My heart raced, I felt like I couldn't breath, and I would practically faint any time anyone came near me with a needle. For me personally, I only felt comfortable talking to my OB constantly about it. I always needed that reassurance that it was okay and not harming the baby. Read some books to get educated on what is going on in your body, but always call your doctor. The doctors really want you to call them. No matter how small you think your concern is, they want you to call. This is your first and they almost expect you to call constantly with your questions. This also helps them to develop a relationship with you and your baby. Most importantly I would say to surround yourself with other women who have been there done that. They will be the best go to source for any questions you have or even if you need to vent. Women always need to vent, even more so when you are pregnant. I hope my advice helps. Also, do anything you can to relax( maybe a nice bubble bath). Let me know if you need someone to talk to. I would love to give you my number, plus you could never have too many mommy friends.

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