Preschool - Kankakee,IL

I don't think you have send him to preschool BUT when he gets to Kindergarten if he doesn't know the alphabet (the song, by sight...upper/lower case, and identifying the letters out of order), counting to at least 20, and how to write his own name then he will most likely be behind the rest of the class. My son learned all of these things in preschool and he is probably in the middle of the pack academically in his Kindergarten class this year. Those are all things you can work on at home this year and he should be fine!! Good Luck!

I sent my son at age 3. I also stay at home. Now I swear I would always start at age 2. He is 4 now and some kids are starting preschool for the first time at age 4, and they are very shy and often cry. Not well adjusted at all. You can tell.
The experiences he gets are something I cannot give him. My daughter is in a private preschool but my whole family is pushing for me to pull her and send her to the public school. They will do free speech therapy there and have a program tailored to that need. I WILL do this, next year, only because she likes her school now and is adjusted. We're doing speech elsewhere for now. Lots of driving!
Why uncomfortable with the public school? Won't he start there anyway once he is five? Usually they have the best programs.
For what it's worth, my son tried a catholic preschool at age 3 for a few weeks. He complained and cried so much about it we pulled him. He continued at his other preschool just fine, loved it!

As a teacher there really is a difference in those children who have gone to prescool and those who haven't. This is not the case with every child but on average it is. Preschool isn't just for learning the simple facts but also how to follow directions in a school setting. Library groups and things like that are a good start but they aren't the same. Those things are more relaxed and for most of them the parents stay with. I would seriously look into a partime preschool.

Hi! I'm a kindergarten teacher and I know that this can be a hard choice. I think a preschool experience can make a big difference for your child. Kindergarten is so academic these days that kids with a preschool experience are usually one step ahead of those without. However, if you can't afford it, you can do things at home to help prepare your child. Help your child learn to follow simple one and two step directions without your help. Read to your child every day for 5 to 10 minutes at a time, and spend some time talking about the story with your child. Explore the world around you and get your child to talk about what is happening around him. Provide crayons, colored pencils, paint, scissors and glue to work with. It is great that you do social activities with him, keep that up. Help your child learn that learning can be fun and exciting. That is half the battle in education. You could also contact the kindergarten teachers at the school your child will attend and see what kind of skills they look for in children beginning kindergarten. Knowing what they expect will help you create activities that will be good for you and your child. The fact that you are concerned and interested in doing the right thing is a big step in helping your child prepare for school! Make this year a fun and stimulating time for your child, you'll build a great foundation for learning, and create some great memories too.

I'm also a teacher and it is very obvious which children have gone and which haven't. In preschool, the children learn routines, following directions, and getting along with others. Kindergarten is very academic and a child that has to learn all these routines "cold" often falls behind in the academics and becomes very frustrated socially.

20 years ago, NO, preschool was not necessary.

BUT in today's world, I highly recommend some form of formal education in a very social atmosphere. It's the socialization skills which will allow your child to integrate easily. Those all-important coping skills will put your child in a position where he is able to sit & learn on demand. Not just a little bit each day or every couple of days.

If finances are an issue, then check with your school district & look into Headstart & other Early Childhood Ed programs available in your district. As another poster mentioned, please also look into the entry/cutoff dates for KG.....it's different for each state! For boys, it's better if they enter KG at 5 1/2 or 6. For girls, they're usually able to go earlier.....closer to the 5th bd than 6.

Another item to check with the school district would be the KG Expectations which will be tested at the KG screening prior to entry. They will give you a comprehensive list of what your child needs to know prior to KG. It's an excellent resource for schooling at home to prep for KG! & please keep in mind the fact that your child will be reading independently before the end of KG....you want him ready to learn academics....& not falling behind due to a lack of experience in learning in a social setting. Peace!

I have to say in my own experience, preschool was invaluable, even if it is just a few days a week or half days. Interacting with other kids at a park or library with mommy right there is just NOT the same as learning to play independently without a parent right there.

Going to kindergarten and leaving mommy for the first time for this strange new 'school' atmosphere is going to be much harder for your child if he hasn't had any practice with it in preschool. Also, it is likely that most of the other kids there will have had some preschool, so you don't want your kid to start out being the kid who is crying and screaming and hanging on your leg because he hasn't done this before. That kind of thing will happen- but it is less common in kindergarten, just because most kids get it over with in preschool first if they are going to be that upset. Think about how your child adjusts now to social situations and how this could make kindergarten more difficult for him.

My son was in a small home daycare/preschool run by a former Montessori teacher and her husband. There were 6-8 kids there, ranging from age 3 to 5 and 2 kids who came afterschool from grade school. As an only child, my son really benefited from being around kids who were both bigger and smaller than he was, and learning he was NOT the center of attention all the time!

He is almost 11 now and people often remark on how patient he is with younger children- I am absolutely sure it is because of that early preschool experience.

But preschool was great not just to learn ABCs and counting and colors etc (schools expect a LOT more of that right in kindergarten now than they used to) but because it taught processes- to line up when you're told, wait your turn, wash your hands, hang your coat on the hook, don't push while you're getting into the van, find your partner, stay with your partner, etc.

There are just some things kids need to learn to do in a group and the earlier they learn, the easier it will be for them to adjust to school. I had a wonderful caregiver and honestly never worried for a moment when my son was in their care. If you can afford it at all, find a good daycare/preschool you like and feel comfortable with and have your son go just a couple of times a week or for half days. I think it will really help prepare him in the long run. good luck!

Hi Abby,

I sent my two older daughters to preschool and didn't send my youngest daughter to preschool. In fact, I started my youngest daughter in kindergarten when she was 6 because she has a late summer birthday and I didn't want her to grow up being the youngest in the class. All of my girls had no trouble in kindergarten.

When I was a kindergarten teacher's aide I did not notice a social or academic difference in the children that didn't attend preschool. In fact, many of the children that had the toughest time adjusting to kindergarten had been in preschool and daycare situations all of their young lives. It is an adjustment for any child to enter a classroom setting for the first time, but he will adjust well if you prepare him.

I wrote this article about going to kindergarten that may interest you.
http://ezinearticles.com/?Getting-Ready-For-the-First-Day...

Best wishes to you and your family!

~P. G.
Portland Preschool Directory
We can help you start your own local preschool directory!
http://www.PortlandPreschoolDirectory.com
http://www.MrsGowing.com

I am a first grade teacher. We can always tell when someone comes to kindergarten that has been to preschool. Some of it is academics, and a lot of it is simply being able to follow school procedures. You might say kindergarten is the "new" first grade; I still remember as a child learning about letters in first grade...now, if they don't know all their letters and sounds when they get to kindergarten they struggle.

I never went to preschool and apparently people made my mom feel really bad about it--we lived on a ranch in the middle of nowhere so they thought I needed the socialization. Anyway, when I started school I did great socially and academically. I would say just work on letters, numbers, and writing his name in a low key way and enjoy your time together!

My son's in preschool, and will be 4 in December. I didn't send him because I think he needs academics, or to be ready for Kindergarten, but I sent him because he seemed to want more than what we were doing. More stimulation, more interaction with kids his age, less time with me :( etc. I always wonder if I made a mistake sending him, if I'll look back and regret that I didn't spend that extra "free" year with him. But the reality is that he loves it. Anyway, I don't think not sending your son is a bad thing. In fact, one of the preschools we checked out has a director who has been doing her job for years. When I told her I was on the fence, she said not to worry--if I decided to send him, great, they'd love to have him. And if I didn't, he would still do well in school, graduate, go to a good college, get a good job, etc. Then she said in plain language that preschool attendance, or lack thereof, is NOT a predictor for future academic or other success. So relax, enjoy, and don't worry. Good luck to you.

My dd is 4 and is not going to preschool and will not be going next year. I know that she wants to, but 1) there are not a lot to chose from here 2) the cost & 3) the biggest one is that I work full time and my husband works on and off. Each day pretty much we don't know if he'll work the next day. We have a couple of home daycares that we can drop her off for the day or days, but that just makes it too hard to get her to a school too. She's very smart and we work with her at home, and she gets schooling on the days that she goes to day care. I worry some too, but remember, even Kindergarten is not required in the state of Illinois so why should we be paying and pushing our kids so young. They spend 13 yrs in school without 1-3 yrs of preschool. If it was SO important for them to go then the public school system should start picking up the cost. Every child will adjust and it's the responsibility of the teachers and the parents to work with them to get to that point. Don't feel bad.

Preschool even as little as 10 years ago was not as big of a deal as it is now. I teach preschool now, and taught 13 years ago. Today, our kids in preschool are learning phonics, learning how to write all the letters in the alphabet, and have a basic understanding of math. In our school district Kindergarten is full day. Even if your Kindergarten is 1/2 day, it's still every day. That can be very overwhelming for a child that has never had any daily structured schooling or daycare. If your son is use to being with you all of the time, I would be worried about him having separation anxiety. My daughter had boy in Kindergarten with her, that screamed every day for his mom. She was a wreck, standing in line, waiting for them to go in to school, and he was a wreck knowing that she was leaving. This went on the entire year of Kindergarten. This boy begged his mom every day not to leave him. It was heartbreaking in the beginning, but by Christmas all of us (including his mom) were done listening to him! Remember, even if he is having playdates, if you are still there, he is comfortable. When you go to library group are you with him? Teaching a child to be independent is a big part of preschool. No one wants to have a child sick to their stomach everyday thinking about having to go to school. If he is by some chance not at the same level, as far as what he knows, compared to the other kids and you add the stress of him not being with mom for the first time, that could really be hard on him. Kindergarten expectations are high because most kids do have preschool. Testing, like Sue recommended, is a must. If your child is enrolled in preschool they come to the school and test each child. Call your local school district and see when testing is available. This is free of charge, and any child 3-4 can be tested, even if they are not in currently in school. You can help him out by getting a preschool/kindergarten workbook. You can buy these at your local teacher store and I have also found them at Costco. They will give you a good idea of what your child should know at his age and what he needs to work on. Academically, he will catch up, even if he is behind other kids in school. I would strongly reconsider not sending him and try to get him in school at least for the structure. He should be going 3 days a week, without mom. Kids that come to preschool, and have always been with mom, have a hard time adjusting, and it's pretty laid back. Teachers have time to sit with a child and make them feel better. Kindergarten not so much. The teacher needs to move on and get class started, they are not going to wait for a child that is crying because his mom left him. That might be harsh, but that's the way it is. They also do not accept any type of behavior or acting out (talking in class, not paying attention). It is very different now. There is basically no curve by the time kindergarten comes. There will be classroom rules and I know, at our school, those start from day one, and they cut them very little slack.

We started preschool at 3.5, and it was amazing (ummm... confession... I visited over 50 preschools in our area before finding "amazing"... and I thought my requirements were pretty basic : "Safe, Fun, & Interesting". Of ALL of the ones I visited, only 3 made the short list that fulfilled all 3 requirements).

But quite frankly, I know tons and tons of children who don't go to preschool. In my area, I'd say it's about 50/50. Of the ones who stay home, some families homeschool them, some don't. Personally, I don't think there's a "right" answer... just what is right for each family and each child. Some need it, some don't, some parents need it, and some don't. You know your child best, what "feels" right... probably is :)

And although I DID send my son to preschool for 2 years, we've been homeschooling and loving it for the past 3. Both situations is what has worked best for us at the time.

I did not send my kids to preschool. I taught them that at home. We had lots of fun. In the summer I sent them to camp (half days for a week) that the county provided. It was a great way for me to see that socially they were fine.

I don't know why people are making a big deal out of preschool it is and should be more for fine tuning those motor skills and getting them them ready for writing and reading. It isn't hard to socialize a child. More often than not they are better than adults at meeting people and asking questions.

Now they are in school I hear from teachers they are right on the mark as to where they need to be. For my son I have been told in a surprised voice he knows more than the kids that went to preschool.

I sometimes think teachers might see preschool as an easy button.
Not many but some K teachers forget they are dealing with 5 and 6 year olds and everything that goes with that age.

Don't worry. Your doing great!

It's not just playtime or social time anymore. I feel that they are expected to know quite a bit by the time they start kindergarten. If you are able to teach him what he needs to know yourself, then it's fine to not send him, but if you're only working with him sometimes, he probably won't be prepared. My son is in 4 yr preschool now and they are starting to learn sight words. Yes, and it's only October.

One of my children never went to pre-school (she went to kindergarten) because she just did not want to be away from me. She is 17 now and just fine :) I think some kids thrive in pre-school and for others, they just don't need it or want it.

I will not be sending my kids to preschool --even though we can afford it. They have the rest of their lives to "sit and be quiet." They are children. They need to play, and the best learning comes through play. Most preschools are not set up for "play." The drive towards "Academics" early is most likley why the US cannot compete with the rest of the world. Kids learn best through self-guided exploration of their own interests. How can schools help them to do that? (I have a Ph.D. in the philosophy of education, so I do know what I am talking about here).

Try to set aside a little time a few times a week to work on his ABCs, numbers, etc. Go to Starfall.com. Buy the book "everything your kids needs to know for kindergarten" and just start working through it. Kids adapt quickly. And remember, for every social influence there can be an equally bad one.

Also, find a few people who aren't sending theirs to school too. A small group of us (4 families) just started a co-op with our 2.5 year olds. We will be getting together to do a craft every other week, and then, gradually, we will add more focused play stuff (organized games rather than all free-play).

And seriously, kids do not need to go to school to learn to sit and be quiet. My 2.5 year old is great at sitting and being quiet, and we just go to short classes.

My first kiddo was in day care from 3 weeks old to 10 mos. When I quit work we agreed we were cutting costs. There was no point for me to be home for a year and then send him to preschool. So that was our initial decision.

Since then we have decided not to send any of our 3 kids to preschool. I think some people think I am nuts but I don't think they are nuts for sending theirs to preschool. To each his own.

For years kids stayed home with their mom's with no preschool, play dates, Little Gym, swim classes etc and they are all fine. However, we do playgroups, classes outside of the home and classes like Sunday School, swim class, soccer etc.... and I definitely think they benefit from them.

I think you child would pick up the routine in K quickly shouldn't be a big deal. If anyone makes comments just let them roll off. Someone told me once they could tell the kids in K that hadn't been in preschool because of the way they behaved. It just seems nutty to me. I thought K was to teach them how to behave in school. If we use preschool to teach them how to behave in K should we use pre-pre-school to teach them how to behave in preschool?

As far as I know all of mine were academically ready to go when K rolled around.

We actually took on homeschooling because we couldn't afford private school for all 3 and the public school wouldn't take my oldest when he was ready. We find that even with homeschooling our daily life and activities such as Cub Scouts and the others listed above teach our son how to handle a school'ish setting. I don't think he will have a problem if/when he goes to school.

Put your mind at ease. There are those out there that don't do preschool and as far as I know they are all fine. I know we are. :)

J.

Preschool is for social, emotional and cognitive development. Having said that, my son has been in since he was 2.5 2hr/d, 2d/week. Not a ton of time. But he is now very cooperative and plays well with others.

If he has regular play dates and handles you not being there all the time and respects other adults when he is in their care, he will be fine.

It is a personal choice. If the truth be said, most of us (now adults) didn't have any and we are fine. It is a close personal choice.

I am also a SAHM and sent my son to preschool (he's in kindergarten this year). We both loved it!! He went 2 mornings a week for PreK 3 and 3 mornings for PreK4. He didn't learn much academically (he knew all his letters, numbers, shapes, colors, etc going into PreK 3), but he learned a lot socially. He learned to listen to another adult authority figure, he learned to play in groups, follow directions, how to act in a fire drill, responsibility ("jobs" at school), etc. Many of the kids he went to PreK 3 and PreK 4 with ended up in his kindergarten class. He is my oldest (he is 5 and his brothers are 2 and 12 weeks). My middle son will start this fall. I loved his school and teacher.

You can teach him the academic stuff and it sounds like you are providing many opportunities to learn the social stuff too!

I'm hearing more and more about moms doing this. The most important way to "learn" at this age is through play and creativity... give lots of opportunities for that and he'll catch up naturally.

I wanted to, at least a mother's day out, but we can't afford it. However, my son does get socialization and such at Sunday school, so that's good he's getting the idea of walking in line, raising hands, listening to a teacher, sitting at a table for activities... I do use some workbooks for letters/numbers/science and such, you can find pre-school ones anywhere, even Target or Half-Price books.

Another vote for pre-school. A good way to find out might be for you to talk to your local elementary school and find out what a kindergarten day looks like. I know that I was shocked when I went to back to school night at how "studious" kindergarteners are supposed to be now. They get one recess per day, and it's only 15 minutes long! They are expected to know how to write all of their upper case letters; the first week of school they just skipped right into lower case. And they really are expected to know how to follow rules and listen to a teacher. Whether we like it or not (and I'm a teacher and I'm not even sure I like it!) school is a very specific kind of socialization. It's not just being around other kids and knowing some academics, although that is important. It's really about having to do what someone else tells you to do for a good long stretch of time. If you think your son has the personality to do this, then he's probably fine without preschool. If you see this being a struggle, I'd give him a practice year before it "counts." Good luck!

As long as your child is learning socialization skills with you going out with others, and he knows his basic ABC and numbers there is no need for him to go to "preschool". Sounds like you are on the right path to me. If $ is an issue, look into Park District classes near you. I believe a lot of parents put their children into preschool as a means of childcare too. Work with your kids as much as you can, do craft projects, read with them/to them, get him trying to form letters, and they'll be well adjusted little guys. They grow up so fast - there is plenty of time for calculus and algebra! Love them and enjoy them.

I wouldn't worry. My cousin is a kindergarten teacher and the only major difference she sees between kids that went to pre-school and those that didn't is the social skills. As long as your son is exposed to other children (through whatever activities you choose) I'm sure he'll be fine. My cousin has kids in her class that don't even know how to use scissors yet, so don't worry so much about WHAT he knows.

I chose to put my 4 year old in preschool because she's a social butterfly and NEEDS to be around other kids.

Maybe you could get a meeting with the Kindergarten teacher at the school your son will attend to see what skills he needs to have? That way, you could ensure that you are working on the right skills at home. Ultimately though, I am sure he will be fine!

Both of my kids did 2 years of preschool prior to kindergarten but I agree that it is an issue that is different for each individual child/family. Your safest bet is to contact the grade school that your child will be attending and ask what skill set is expected from the children entering K. Even at this age children are aware if they are not able to do what some of the other kids are doing - for example my daughter in K came home and said mom my friend can't find all the letters in the alphabet (out of order) and I feel bad because it makes her sad because I can find them all. As long as you are aware of the schools expectations prior to entering K and your child has the skill set there should be no reason for worry unless the child has seperation anxiety and gets nervous when you are not around, then preschool might be needed. If your child is upset upon leaving you it makes the learning environment for not only your child more difficult but also for the 20 other kids in the class because the teacher has to focus more on a child with this issue and it becomes a detrement to the other children. If your child is fine without you, you should have no worries.

iam a mother of 8 children & also a sahm! some went 2 pre-k others stayed home til they began k-garten...i have seen no real difference in the way they adjusted 2 school. have him practice writing his name, learn primary colors, sing abcs & counting & he will be rite on point with those children that attended pre-k.

I think its definitely a personal choice (of course it is, right?)

I have a 7 year old and a 4 year old. The 7 year old is in 1st grade and his teacher did actually say to me "you can tell the kids who went to preschool..." Now, he started a preschool program when he was 2 (I know..insane, but he needed something at that age) and our 4 year old just started this year (September bday, so he just turned 4 AND he's got 2 years of preschool). He didn't need as much stimulation as his brother. We just wanted to give it a try.

I think that if YOU feel he's getting skills at home and learning to play and "work" with other kids, you are totally fine not sending him.

Enjoy!

You know your child better then anyone. How does he handle when you leave him? Does he interact easily and well with other children? Would you consider him social or shy? Is he showing interest in school or content being home with you. I own a preschool and as I said I think it depends on the child. Some children come running in so happy to be in school, they crave and love the learning and social aspect of school. Others although they do not hate school would much rather be home playing with their own toys, and have no desire to participate. I think it is always an advantage to be prepared socially, and emotionally for school, but it is not crucial. It may just take him longer to adjust, follow rules, and get used to the pace and routine of school. Like I said mamma knows best!!

It is amazing what they are learning in kindergarten now. I think that my kids had an easier time of it because they went to preschool first. I can definitely see the differences in the kids that went and the kids that didn't. They are expected to know quite alot entering K. I just did our park district preschool. It wasn't as expensive as others, but they had a great teacher and they got to experience a structured setting 3x a week, and they learned the basics for entering K.

My son is 4... he is not in Preschool... we cannot afford it. I try to homeschool him... but being a 4 year old boy... and active... well, that is not real consistent.

Check with your district school, where he would attend Kinder. See... if a child can enter Kinder at turning 5 only or turning 6 years old. Many start boys later in entry to Kinder.
My district school... enters kids at turning 5 or 5 years old for Kinder. For the later born kids, they have a Jr.K. But if a child is turning 6 or already 6... they put the child in 1st grade. BUT... upon a parent request, they will put the child in Kinder... even if turning 6 years old.
SO... CHECK with your elementary school... what their 'rules' are.
So that you have options or know what options you have.
That is what I did, regarding my son... and 'when' to enter him into Kinder. IF he is ready at turning 5... I will enter him into Kinder. If not, I will wait and enter him into Kinder at when he is turning 6. His B-Day is in August... and he would make the cut-off for either Kinder or Jr.K... if I enter him at turning 5 years old.

My son, does not even like to "write".... unlike my daughter who at 3 years old was writing and writing her name already.

I REALLY recommend... you find out already... what the entry age 'rules' are for your child into Kindergarten... so that you can plan ahead....

all the best,
Susan

how is it ridiculous to realize that a 5 year old who has never been in a school setting, may not have the skills to sit quietly with his peers and pay attention to a teacher, if he's never done it? how would he know how? school is a little different than sitting for an hour at the library. but in the end it's your decision and kids all even out pretty quickly once they are in school. some of your ideas about childhood education may sound ridiculous to those of us who are not in your position, too. just saying.

The main benefits of preschool seems to me to be socialization and getting used to routine and class structure. Is the library group or playgroup with or without parents? If he doesn't have any classes without parents, it might be a good idea to sign up for something that meets a couple times a week, even for an hour. My older son didn't go to 3 year old preschool but did go to 4 year old. Even then he took a while to get used to class routines in kindergarten.

I don't think preschool is going to be a make-it or break-it factor for any kid starting kindergarten. However, I have my 3 year old daughter in preschool for the first time this year, and this is the first time she's been away from me. I am amazed by how different she is when I'm not around. I watch her (OK, spy on her) through the little classroom window and I see an independent, friendly girl who I have never seen before. I really think it's good for her to not have me as a safety net for her all the time. I'm sure that not every kid needs the preschool experience, but for my daughter, it has been very important.

Hi A.,

I taught preschool a while back, and I wanted to chime in. Preschool helps prep children for some basic information they will need going into kindergarten, including their letters & numbers, early reading skills, shapes & colors, how to follow classroom instructions and good social skills.

I've worked with children and families for 17+ years, and I believe strongly that 4 year olds need to be in preschool of some sort to be succeed in kindergarten.

If you can, look for a co-op, where you can particiapte in the classes.

If you cannot get your child into preschool, then start a homeschool program using workbooks, this way your son won't feel he's behind when he gets to school next year. He will also need to learn social skills with peers, so make sure you provide him with playdates or he is on a sports team.

I didn't go to preschool as a child, but when I went to kindergarten, remember feeling behind, because everyone knew more than I did. Additionally, I had a hard time making friends, because I didn't have the social skills needed to make friends.

Good Luck

R. Magby

I think it's okay to keep your children home if you want to. I only have one friend out of many that didn't send her kids to any school type places until required by law, Kindergarten.

He may be behind the other children but he should catch up accordingly. These other children have already had separation/school anxiety issues to deal with and they probably won't have them again. Your child may not have any issues and just adapt seamlessly.

I suggest you seek out other moms in the area that kept their kids home too and have some play dates, if only so you can feel like your not the only one.

I do home daycare so I do all the things academically the kids would need for kindergarten. Both my kids were obviously in my home daycare so they learned the skills. But I was worried about seperation and having to take direction from others besides me, so I had them both in the 1/2 hour library story time and YMCA classes. For my oldest I had her go to a class through the park district called "Ready for Kindergarten". Most of the reason for this was that I only had her and one other boy her age in the daycare, the rest were 2 yrs old and couldn't do things like getting in a line. My younger one had a group of 4 kids her age when she was 4 so didn't need that.

Even though I do a preschool program here at my daycare (I do full day and also just preschool kids), I don't think it's needed. You can do all the skills yourself, and find cheap or free things that will take care of the listening to other adults skills that are needed. If your child makes friends easily and can listen to other adults, knows their alphabet (watch Leap Frog Letter Factory) and behaves around other kids, then you should be just fine.

That said, some parents don't see their children in honest ways, so you may need to ask a stranger what they think. I've had some kids enroll and the parents say he does great with other kids but instead they were a monster. Children do behave differently for others.