Preschoolers and Dance

She just wants to hang with you, and that's cool. Plus free! She gets a lot of interaction at daycare.

Maybe just drop it and try again in September?

Enjoy what time you have with her while she's so little.

:)

not all kids like dance class. I tried to get my daughter into dance when she was 3 and 4 and she hated it. I decided to not keep her in it and let her decide what to do when she is older. She is almost 8 and she is taking a pottery class and she loves it! She has no interest in dancing other than making up her own dances around the house, lol! I wouldn't push her to stay in the class. 4 is still SO young and she has so much time to really find out what she likes to do. I wouldn't worry about it.

Wait until she wants to dance MORE than she wants to be with you. Maybe you could find a "mommy and me" dance class. And then, just relax and let her have fun. She sounds too little for this sort of class at this point. I'm not saying age-wise, either.:)

She's only three. Wait another year or two, until she's ready. Don't waste the money. Obviously, she's not enjoying dance class as much as you thought she would.

You will have plenty of years to encourage her to try things. Right now, being with mommy is what she likes best, and that's fine and developmentally appropriate.

There was a post yesterday about "What have you learned from older and younger moms." Go and read the responses to that one. One thing Jo said, that was perfectly stated, was "I feel like younger moms are sure if they dot their I s and cross their T s they can create a perfect childhood for their children. Raising them to adulthood teaches you two things, one that is not possible, and two, that is not necessary."

Encourage your daughter, yes. But have a relaxed attitude while you are doing it, and remember Jo's very true words: The perfect childhood is not possible, and not necessary.

p.s. When my oldest son was 8, I spent hundreds of dollars to put him in a musical theater production. He had fun running around backstage with a couple of the kids that he met, but he's not a musical theater type of kid and now that he's grown, he has zero memories of the experience except that they gave him a vulture on a stick as a prop which he got to wave up and down. That was a lot of money to pay for waving a vulture up and down, and obviously it wasn't the amazing experience I hoped all those dollars spent would give him. He could have waved a stick around at home for free. I'm not saying don't try things, just don't make it too costly or miserable for your kid.

It's ok mom... she is just not ready.

Also, before I spent all the $$ for a dance company that had a lot of requirements, I would go to the local park and rec and try out a class that is about 6 weeks long and see if she likes that experience and then progress to a better school if she loves it.

Also, if she is in full time daycare, I can see where she wants to be with you as much as possible. Embrace that and join a mommy and me class with music, gymnastics, etc and you both meet people in those group settings.

Don't feel bad if she is not ready for something... children mature at all ages and there is nothing wrong with her not being ready right now.

Good luck

This is the classic conundrum of:
What the Mom decides their young child should do, versus... what the child's interests are or not, versus, what other kids are doing or not, so what the child should do or not.

MANY young children are, sensitive/attached to Mommy. This is not unusual. Your child is typical. She is very young.
Its okay. How she is now, is not how she will be when older.
Repeat: she is very young. How she is now, is not how she will be when older.

Also, when a child is young like this, mostly everything is "trying something new."

Is there any kind of "Mommy and Me" dance/exercise class you could both attend?

I'm a gymnastics instructor so I hope I can provide some insight.

At age 3, almost 4 she may just want a Mommy and Me type of class where she can be with you. That's fine because then she can learn the skills where she feels comfortable and happy. It will be a great experience for her. Every child is different, some 2-year olds don't want mommy around and some 5-year olds still want their parent there. IT'S OKAY!!

If you think that she really wants to do dance but she's distracted by wanting to be with you then I suggest leaving the studio or going in a place where she can't see you or get to you. If she's fine at daycare 4 days a week then she's fine at dance class. In my experience, lots of kids are perfectly fine when their parents leave, but if they are in the room or very accessible then they want to be with mom or dad. Only you can answer that question--it has worked for MANY parents to just leave or be out of sight, but only you can say if that would traumatize her.

I usually make the parents leave the room in the age 4-5 classes because they are very distracting. Kids will run back and forth or be upset. Once the parents leave, class goes wonderful and the kids have a great time!

I do highly suggest enrolling her in something else where you don't have to commit to a recital. You could try gymnastics, martial arts, soccer, etc. Dance will still be there when she is older!

Also, give it quite a few weeks! I always encourage parents to give it at least a month. MOST of the kids in the preschool age group take at least a month to get used to it. Some even longer. I am used to the preschoolers being disruptive, it's what they do. They will want to go out and see their mom, or get upset, or not want to try things. Your dance teacher should be fine with Alyssa learning how to do a class and being upset at first. She may have ideas. Don't feel like you're "disrupting" the class. Learning how to be a student is part of any preschool activity. Your daughter is quite normal, in fact, if she's not screaming her head off and clinging to your leg then she's ahead!

I would take it as a sign that she is not ready for this class and I would look for other avenues to get her used to doing things on her own. You might look into Meet Ups where she can meet new local kids, or take her to library events, or just go to the park where you can encourage her to go play while you are on the sidelines.

My DD is not a "jump in with both feet" kid. She needs time to test the waters. We may or may not do swimming lessons with her this summer because she is still nervous about water in her face. And frankly, I'd rather wait a summer than have her freak and not learn at all.

She's four - don't push her.School may be all she wants right now.
I let my child choose her own EC activities. I enrolled her in dance classes when she ASKED for dance lessons. Same with piano, theatre, and voice.
The only class I insisted on was swimming, because I consider it a survival skill. I didn't care if she never swam for pleasure, I just wanted her to know how not to drown if she fell in the river.

Wait. She is not ready.

Updated

Wait. She is not ready.

There is no rush.
Wait a year or even two before trying again and if that doesn't pan out wait a few more years.
Some kids can start activities earlier than others while other can take longer (like when they are 7 or 8 years old).
She'll try new things when she is confident and secure.
She's barely out of toddler-hood and preschool and even kindergarten is a lot of social interaction and growing.
Let her enjoy free unstructured playing and enjoy your little girl.
She's going to grow faster than you think she will.
Blink once or twice and she'll be off to college before you know it.

I wouldn't get discouraged, dance just may not be her thing. Some children do not like to stand up in front of people and dance. Maybe she would like something more like gymnastics, its more of an individual sport rather then a choreographed dance routine. She may feel intimidated trying to keep up. Has she told you why she doesn't like it? Also, you can try your local library and see if they have free activities that the neighborhood children also participate in, like story time etc.. She sounds shy to me and for right now just isn't ready. I wouldn't force her it may make it worse. If she has real fear it is only going to present itself more. Since she is almost 4 I am sure she can communicate what she likes and doesn't like, I would go with her lead. Good luck!!

Try a class with the Park District, they are typically less expensive, just as good and I think if she does need more time to mature it will not be as expensive of a lesson. My Park District has a mother/daughter dance class for that age group.

shes not ready. enroll her in a mommy and me class and be done with the other for now.

Three is very young to expect her to be independent at a dance class, especially if you've been a stay-at-home mother and she isn't used to alternate caregivers. If it were me, I'd give it another year.

I'd wait another year. You can try other things with her that don't cost so much and are okay for mom to be in the room. Try Kindermusik or First Notes. Moms can stay in the room with their kids. As she gets more comfortable, sit outside of the circle in a chair. If she balks, tell her that your back hurts and you need to sit in a chair. Each week, move the chair farther away. Pretty soon, she'll forget about you and enjoy the class. That will help her get used to the idea that she doesn't have to hang on you anymore.

Good luck!
Dawn

she is not ready.. wait a year.

i kept asking my daughter if she wanted to dance.. she asked if it was a drop off class (not a mommy and me class) it was a drop off class so she didnt want to do it..

eventuallys he was ready.

She is still pretty little and wants to be with you, so I would wait awhile before spending that kind of $ when you are not sure if she will like it.

When you think she is ready, I would start with gymnastics or tumbling as they sometime call it. It is very fun and they get to do lots of physical stuff like summersaults and walking on the balance beams and jumping on a trampoline. All my kids started in gymnastics and even my 'shy' child took to it well b/c there was so much to see and do, not enough time to get worried and or nervous!

If you want to sign her up for something sign her up for a mommy and me course, swimming or a tumbling course. Ballet is more about discipline and staying still etc. Tumbling or swimming will let her move around more freely than a ballet class.

This is normal for her age. We see this regularly at my dance studio with the 3k class. I'd look for a mommy & me class to start her out that is a shorter season, and is less expensive with no commitment to a recital. Good luck!

Forget the dancing since she had such an outburst....perhaps it's not what she likes. She is also 4, give it time. Try again perhaps when she goes to school. She is at home with you now and obviously very attached to you. When she goes to school and starts to socialize and be around others, then is the time to try perhaps the dancing again or gymnastics or soccer. Things are definitely too expensive to be doing them if your child doesn't want to do them. Remember, 4 year olds are still very much babies and all they know is mommy, they have a hard time with discipline and following direction. And dance requires both these things to succeed. You may want to try pre school 2 or 3 days a week.

Look into a dance class that's not so expensive which would allow both of you to try it out. Our local Parks and Recreation has classes for kids this age. And there are studios that do not put on expensive recitals nor are their tuitions so steep.

She's not ready for it. Wait another year and try again. There is no shortage of kid's activities and they'll always be there. Please don't be the parent that forces their kid to do something they have no interest in because they think that's what their kid should be doing.

at three, it's very early. my son didn't enjoy things like this at that age (yes, i know he's a boy). i just think it's too early for such structure. they need to just play and enjoy being little. just my .02. (ESPECIALLY for that price...yikes!) she will have plenty of time to try new things. she's still tiny.

I think you should just wait for her to get more mature/ready. Our son was like this with the pee wee sports at this age. He would cry or refuse to do things or just generally be upset. We just waited. We did "individual" sports with him...biking, skiing, hiking. When he was 7 he suddenly wanted to do sports. I think he just had to get more mature.

My dd is same way. What does she want to do? It has helped me to read Highly Sensitive child book and articles on introverted children.

Our dance teacher does not allow the parents in the classroom areas at all. It is nothing more than a distraction to the kids. Plus they won't listen to the teacher because mom or dad is there and they are the authority figure at that time.

I suggest you drop her off at the door for future reference. Most of our parents drop off the kids then leave to run errands. They start this class at 3. If the child is crying then the teacher has one of the assistants deal with that while she teaches the rest of the class. They are good at their job but since your daughter saw you then you were gone suddenly she got upset.

I would imagine there will be some issues next week at drop off time. She didn't get the standard good bye, I'll be back.

Does she have a friend that might also want to sign up for the class? Maybe someone she plays with daily at her day care? It's possible that she's just scared because she's in a new place surrounded by people and teachers she doesn't know. She might be more comfortable if she has a friend to dance with.

Otherwise, look into mommy & me options to get her used to the studio, teachers, and dance moves. After a few weeks or months, she should be ready to transition to a class without you.

Have you talked to her yet and asked what she wants or why she was so upset and inconsolable? She might have some insight that would actually be helpful.

If none of the above work, I would wait until the fall and enroll her then.

Kids that love dance really love it and it lights them up from the inside. Kids that don't like it don't get any advantage from being stuck in it.

It sounds like you do not have a dance-kid. Skip this and look for an activity that she wants to be in.