Ok, I have an issue. My son was in t-ball last year and they had an asst. coach. Anyway, the coach was awesome but the asst coach was not very good at all and some parents were not happy. Her child was also in t-ball w/ my son but the way she talks to kids like they're adults and I don't really care for her comments. She belittles her children and there's no way I would let a coach handle my son that way. It was my son's first year of t-ball and he has never played before. She made him feel like and made me feel like my son shouldn't play ball because he wasn't as aggressive as the other kids and it's his first sports he ever played!! I know I sound over protective but at the same time, I don't want my son to hate the game thinking that he's going to get yelled at or get scolded every time he makes a mistakes or not performing well outfield. Well, this year, I signed my son again for t-ball and the coach he has is the asst coach from last year. How can I get out of this? There's definitely tension between us and I want my son to go to another coach. My son is supposed to have fun not worry if he's going to get yelled at for every little mistake he makes. I don't mind if she points out his mistake but don't yell at him and make him feel like he's the dumbest kid on the team. Help...just thinking about this makes me sick...I can't stand that woman. Should I feel bad that I am behaving like this or am I just being an over protective mom. HELP!!
Well, guys...I just want to THANK EVERYONE! I did talked to the director of baseball and my son will be moving to another team. I also talked to the coach and I told her that it would be in my son's best interest to go to another team. I also mentioned to her that she does go overboard, she didn't like what I had to say and all she said to me was "good luck". Again, I love the advice and I am glad that I am not the only Mom with kids problem. Thank you for all your support!! I am so happy and hope everyone has an awesome day!!! :) :) :) :)
I am a parent and a coach of kids' sports and have been for several years (I'm only 34 but my son (11) has been playing since he was 3. My first suggestion would be to ask the coach to tone it down while speaking to the kids. I'd do this in front of the other parents (you may have someone that agrees with you and you weren't aware of their agreement). Then I'd ask the league to trade him/her - if the request to the coach didn't work.
JE
Don't feel bad at all. We as parents should make the best interest of our children as first priority. First of all I would like to say I am shocked trhat this behavior is coming from a woman coach. I would talk to this coach face to face and let her know your concerns and maybe even get some of the the other concerned parents to talk to her with you. If that doesn't work then go to the head of the league and let them know what the situation is and ask how you can transfer teams. It always amazes me these people who coach these little league teams. It almost like they are trying to live out their fantasy of coaching a major league team or something. It's T-Ball. They are suppose to have fun and learn the fundamentals of playing as a team and learn how the game works. They are not going to the World Series. They are 5 & 6 yars old, give them a break!
I also have a 6 year old son playing this year in T-Ball, and would have him traded! It is still very early in fall ball, the boys should be learning, as this is new to all of them! I do not mind a coach correcting my child, or if he is not paying attention, but it sounds like your coach is overboard!
You should take the coach aside, talk it out and clear the air. You are not only clearing up the tension, but you are setting a good example for your children.
I used to be secretary for a youth sports association. You have the right to request not to be on her team. You also have the right to request a coach. I have never heard of an association not honoring the first.They don't have to honor the second, but usually at your child's age they try to honor requests more often. ONce they get older it gets a little cut throat in youth sports unfortunately!
Call them and ask to be moved to another team. It isn't something unsual for them, explain your complaint about her. If more parents tell the commissioner issues like this, they won't ask her to coach again.
Of course, your child isn't aggressive if he hasn't played before either in a league or with other kids, he isn't going to be. Her coaching style is only going to make him feel that much less confident in what he is trying to learn.
The most simple way to handle it is just to call and get place on another team. You do need to do it asap just so they will get his uniform ordered and get him started with the new team right away.
Have a great season!
change teams, 6 is too young to have to deal with her.
Dear M., It's inappropriate for your son's coach to YELL at the kids like she does.....so wrong! I'm sure you're not the only one that feels this way. I would definately confront the coach about this in front of other parents or ask for your son to be on a different team. Also, try another organization. Neither you or your son should have to suffer this way. Do what's best for your family!!
:-) Happy Day!! Deborah
M.,
If the coach is truly verbally abusive and your son is going to be miserable the whole season, you need to either put your child on another team or quit T-ball. There are lots of other opportunities out there and no one will have a ruined childhood because they missed a year of T-ball. Maybe your child would like to try something different anyway.
If your son really wants to play, there are no other teams available and the coach is more obnoxious than abusive you need to let it go. Children are very resilient and you need to step back and look at whether this is really traumatizing him or just you.
My children have been exposed to many adults in their lives who are "less than best examples" and if I could have chosen someone else to be in their place, I certainly would have. But it gave us the opportunity to talk about doing what is right even when the adults around us don't and not to let other people's comments govern how we view ourselves. (Essential qualities found less and less in people today.)
If the coach is just too intense, (and don't think I am excusing the behavior because I am not,) your reaction to her, the way you talk about her to others and interact with her will carry a greater impact on your son than the coach's behavior. So this probably won't be the coach that your son remembers fondly for the years to come. This will be the coach that tests, tries and refines the character of you and your son.
Best of luck,
S.
tell the head couch that u dont want his assit couch talking to your son if there is a porblem that he is haveing and she sees that she should go to the head coach and tell him to talk to your son or even to u. let him know also that not all alduts are well good adluts some dont know how to talk to kids right and that he will learn in good time and not to let her get him down. also this may be good for him because he will learn to want to show people they are worng about him and it may give him the drive to prove her worng and to do better. i have had atlot of adults that put me down growing up. i do not use that type of way with my kids but as for me knowing that they were wrong, and that i am better because of it helps
i think u should talk to the coach and let her know that she can talk to the kids and not yell, they are only kids its not the major league or anything, and ur right its only for fun and so the kids can enjoy and interact with other kids as well, so if she wants to talk to her kid like that fine, but u dont do that to other peoples kids i would definitly talk to her, thats not right, i'd be mad as hell if anyone yelled at my kids, no no, talk to that person, and if possiblesee if he can go to another team.
You're not being over protective at all. The kids are out there to learn the game and to have fun. I think you should to the league commissioner and have him put on another team. Let them know your concerns because of what happened last year. If they're not willing to help, demand your money back and go to another league. There are a lot of t-ball leagues around here. Other teams would be glad to have your son and make it enjoyable for him. I used to coach softball for 9-10 year old girls in Schertz. We had fun. I tried to teach them the game, encourage them to do their best and let them know that no one is perfect and that they didn't have to win every game. I tried to give them self esteem and know that it's okay if they messed up.
Hopefully you can find some place else for him. There are coaches out there that do care more about the child than winning the game.
M. B
I see you already got some good advise about talking to the coach. I think I would actually go the league and request another team. You know life is to short to have to deal with the tension. If you confront her and stay on the team, you may still feel the tension. It is my opion at this age, you should be having at this point it is about learning some basics and having fun. If the coach is that overbearing, she may do more harm than good to his confidence and that will do the exact opposite of what you want. My husband started coaching for the same reason. We are in kid pitch now, and let me tell you each season it gets worse. The parents are obsessive! Also beleive me when I say my husband is all about the win! But, he does not beleive in making any kid feel bad about themselves. I think you can go to the league and tell them you want to be with a coach with a a more light hearted teaching style. If possible maybe you or your husband could be an assistant coach. I hope this helps! Good luck and have fun!
I read through several of the responses that you received and I have to tell you, I liked Shellie's the best. And her suggestion has made me think a lot deeper. The thing with quiting is you are setting an example for down the road that when things get a bit tough, all you have to do is quit. I don't know if that's a good lesson to teach. Has your son already made friends on his current team? And if your league is like ours, the fall season is a short one. Stress in your son that he is too learn the game and try his best and have a good time. The actuall interaction that he has with his coach is probably minimal. Make sure that your apprehension with the coach isn't pass on to your child in that it does not help to shape your child's opinion or his way of interacting with the coach. She's not getting paid to coach and she's doing it when other people probably did not take the time to volunteer. Your child will have so many more coaches in his ball playing life, you'll have to teach him how to deal with the different people that will come into his life. I'm so tired of ball parents who sit on the sidelines and complain about coaches, if its so bad then you should be out there to correct it. Coaches are volunteers and t-ball is just a past time, something for the 5 and 6 year olds to do. People complain that certain kids are not good, coaches are too weak and quite, or coaches are too loud. You can be out there catching or fielding ground balls with your kid too, not just the coaches.
But if you seriously think this experience is going to harm your child, then pull him out.
You must tell her in front of your son and others that it is inappropriate to yell at the kids. You dont' allow yelling at your home and you don't appreciate her doing this when they are kids supposed to be having fun. If this does not work, talk to the other parents, put together a letter and present it to the party responsible for choosing coaches and I would definately try to get some evidence on video. There have to be parents out there with cams.....make a copy of it to go to the people in charge.
C.
