My stepdaughter (10) has a younger sister at her mom's house who is 4. The younger sister is extra spoiled and quite uncontrollable. The mom also has a baby to take care of and is a single mom so the younger sis isn't always watched as closely as she should be.
My SD lives mostly at our house and visits Mom's every other weekend. She shares a room with her younger sister (which makes sense since she's not there very often). Her younger sister won't stay out of my SD's things and as a result, has broken or ruined almost all of her toys. She's colored on them with marker, cut her doll's hair or broken things. My SD brings all of her good toys over here to "protect" them, but then doesn't have much to play with at her mom's. Even if she does bring her good things over there just for the weekend, sometimes sister gets ahold of them.
The mom doesn't do anything. She just blames my SD for "leaving it out where her sister can get at it." My poor SD doesn't have a high closet shelf or anywhere to protect her things. She's asked for her own shelf or toy box, but their bedroom is very tiny (it's really more of a den with no closet).
Since her mom won't do anything (and this is clearly upsetting my SD) I wanted to get her something for mom's to put her toys in and lock them away but all I can find are huge foot lockers, and that wouldn't fit in their tiny bedroom. Are there any under the bed things that lock? Any ideas? The only other idea I could come up with was a locking suitcase that would fit under the bed. I don't want to spend too much on a suitcase because it could get covered in marker. Also, are there such things as locking backpacks?
Your suggestions are appreciated!
No advice, but you remind me of my stepmom... she calls herself my Wicked Stepmom, but she is beloved.
If she's only at her mom's every other weekend IMO the logical thing to do is to have her leave her good things home and only bring the "ruined" things to her mothers.
Look at the thrift or second hand shops, they often have suitcases in lots of sizes for cheap. Than simply add a lock.
Hi there, glad you are looking for ways to help your SD!
You've gotten some great ideas for suitcases and backpacks from the thrift store, then adding luggage locks. I'm just a bit concerned that the 4yo will get industrious with scissors on it and ruin everything in an attempt to get inside. With little supervision, it's a likely possibility.
How about a locking toolbox? Like one of these for ~$20:
http://www.amazon.com/Brady-Polypropylene-Nickel-Plated-L...
http://www.amazon.com/Akro-Mills-Probox-Heavy-Duty-Plasti...
That way you can use it again and again, like as a toolbox for her trunk when she's off to college!
Good luck!
http://www.theshelvingstore.com/Mini_Lockers_s/554.htm
found these for my 4 neices who had simmilar issues with each other's things ... girls like revenge! A bit pricey but worth it.
Try looking for a locking suitcase at a thrift store! If you have no success there, go to a TJ Maxx, Marshalls, or Burlington. They usually have luggage on clearance...
And also tell SD that there is nothing you can do about her toys at her moms house, and maybe to just keep all her good things at your house. At ten years old, she will no doubt understand, and will probably be willing to leave her nice things at home..
just a "good job, Mom".....help keep her happy & secure! :)
i know the relationship with the mom is probably not great, but what about those shelves, like this:
http://www.homedepot.com/h_d1/N-5yc1v/R-100656717/h_d2/Pr...
i hope that works, you will get the idea. maybe your husband could even install them for her. like above the bed or something...out of the 4 yo's reach?
I wonder if you could find an under the bed. Rubber
maid container that really stays locked. I know many times I have trouble opening them myself. Does her moms home have a garage? Maybe a standing s torage closet with a lock could be placed out there.
otherwise the suit case is a good idea.
I really feel sorry for your SD.
Because, the Mom is favoring... the baby over her.
And, she doesn't realize, that in the long term... this is all going to affect her relationship with her older daughter, AND it will cause problems... once she is a Preteen and Teenager.
Then she will, belatedly, wonder WHY her older daughter, is so unhappy or full of problems or seeking outside influences etc.
The older daughter is not being, Mothered or guided or given, importance.
So as her Step-Mom... I think, by default, since her Mom is not a Mom... that YOU will, have to provide a foundation for your SD and generate a 'relationship' with her.... AS she becomes, a Tween and Teenager.
She is a Tween, already. Tweens are from 9-12 years old.
Google search "Tween Girl Development".... and inform yourself.
Your SD, will NEED... a "Mom" and a parent.... this is a HARD age juncture and they change a TON, developmentally. It is not easy. Your SD needs a woman, that she is close to..... to guide her and provide a soft place to fall... and to confide in and speak to about any problems.
It is not just about the toys. But the OVERALL.... treatment your SD is getting, from her biological Mom.
It is very... sad.
I hope your Husband, your SD's Dad, is also comforting, for her.
A girl, needs her Dad... especially since, your SD does NOT have her bio Mom.... doing anything Mommy like, for her... nor teaching her anything.
A Tween... is at an age, in which they NEED privacy... and they are very developmentally different, from a young child.
They have different needs..... and their bodies are changing etc.
A Tween/Teen, needs privacy... and a place to unwind. ie: their bedroom.
The younger child, HAS to be taught... about others. About belongings. And reprimanded, too.
My son at 4 years old... KNEW this. And he has an older sister. 4 years older. And he understood. So a young child that age, CAN be taught. And he knew how to respect, his older sister's things.
Your SD always being "blamed" for her younger sister's misbehaving... is really gonna.... backfire. One day, the older daughter might just get fed up. Since she has NO ONE... who backs her up NOR understands her NOR her age and her needs.
Even if you get your SD a lock box for her things... that doesn't mean, that at her Mom's house... that this will work. Because, her Mom... is really not respecting, of her nor of her things. Either.
And, she may not let her daughter... have that box. That you got for her.
Yes, backpacks can be locked... with a padlock, the kind used for suitcases. It is either a lock with a key, or with a combination lock.
Stores have it.
