I am a Mom of 4, 3 boys and one girl. My daughter is the oldest at 11, the others are 9, 7, and 5. Anyway, earlier tonight my daughter was taking a bath and asked me to help her rinse the conditioner out of her hair. While I was helping her I noticed HAIR, down THERE. I am freaking out. My daughter laughed at my shocked expression. I mean, she was a BABY yesterday!!! I am thinking that she should be a Nun.
Is it normal to feel this way? She knows all about periods and babies, and sex, I started preaching about that to her years ago. But now what? HELP!
What is a "Pervy Troll" as someone just called me? (having some insecurities are we) and yes I was helping my 11 year old daughter get the conditioner out of her hair because I am her mom and I am here to help Old house + shower broken.
What do you mean: "now what?" Lol
I have an 11 year old boy.
Pubic hair accompanies the men's department shoes. ;)
Just keep the lines of communication open.
And btw, public hair is not necessarily a sign of "true" puberty.
It's adrenal.
Happens to the best of us! We realize our kids are growing up. Just take a deep breath because its going to be a hell of a ride.
Naw, you don't want her to be a Nun. Won't get grandkids that way. =)
oh, ugh.
if you've been 'preaching' to her about periods and babies, why are you freaking out and sketching out your daughter by being 'shocked' that she's developing?
calm down and help her be joyful about the transition, not concerned that she's freaking out her own mother.
khairete
S.
Goodness people - lighten up!!! I've been on here for years, so you all know I'm not a troll. My 11 yo hasn't asked me to help rinse her hair, but I wouldn't be surprised if she did sometime - she likes to be pampered and loves to have her hair washed at the salon, if she thought Mom would do it at home she would be all over that, lol! Oh, and I love baths, at 44. Nothing pervy about it.
J. M. - I'm right there with you, saw the same thing in dd (who is actually not quite 11) over the summer and was like Eeek! Not ready for this yet!
Just wanted to say that every couple of weeks I wash my almost 11 year old daughter's hair when she's in the shower. She just doesn't get it clean enough despite our many lessons. She'll get it eventually but in the meantime I'm going to continue to scrub the heck out of her head when it starts to get funky. Not pervy, just bein a mom.
Normal to feel that way? Yes. Normal to be bathing your 11 year old? Uh..... Not so much...
A lot of kids are getting their periods at 11. Not sure why you're surprised...
Unless, of course, you're a Pervy Troll, which I suspect...
Per your SWH, I don't think any of the moms who responded to your question are suffering insecurities such as yourself.
What did you think would happen when a child reaches puberty? It is normal growing up and it is not normal for you to freak out because you saw some hair on your daughter's nether regions.
No wonder your daughter laughed at your NOT NORMAL reaction. Also, you don't preach to your children, COMMUNICATE with them.
That said, my daughter is quickly approaching 20 and I don't think I have seen her naked since she was about 10. NOT NORMAL for you mom.
Hopefully your daughter is strong enough emotionally to handle your insecurities and not let them effect her own self esteem.
Hmmm, yep, my girls knew how to wash and condition their own hair way before 11, even when we stayed at the lake house (no shower, and crappy water pressure.)
So not surprised that people would think there is something "off" about this post.
And what kind of modern mother thinks their normal healthy daughter should be a nun?
Give me a break :-(
I'm not sure why you are so shocked. You've been talking to her about body changes all along, which is great. I assume you have had multiple age-appropriate conversations about menstruation. If not, start tomorrow. Get a book or three if you need to from any good library - ask the children's librarian for suggestions if you need to. But your daughter is right on schedule and she's likely to be having periods very soon. She's got to be prepared, and you've got to get on board with her maturation so that you can be a source of support and information for her. You've got all boys in the family, so you're her only female resource. And you yourself have got to be more comfortable with body terms so you aren't using phrases like "down there" - your daughter needs to learn the slang but she also needs to use the proper terms.
And I hope you have not be "preaching" just really informing. Open up the lines of communication, Mom. Stop being shocked about anything. 11 year olds are faced with choices every day - oral sex, drugs (kids trading their ADD meds or raiding their parents' medicine supplies), alcohol, etc. So your daughter needs to be prepared for everything and not stuck with a bunch of other kids whose parents think they are too little! Time for a reality check!
Yeah...our daughters grow up at some point and become women. Not much you can do but to accept it and not freak out.
By the time my oldest daughter was 11, she had the body of an 18 yr old. I was an early bloomer, as were my husband's sisters. I figured she'd also be early in puberty, and she was. She's almost 14 now and could easily pass for an adult, physically. Mentally and emotionally? Still a typical 13yr old.
Since your daughter is 11, you should have seen this coming for a while now and not be so shocked. And, no, she should not be a nun. Unless, of course, she wants to be a nun.
My daughter is 11 and has her period. Not really shocking at all for an 11 yo to have pubic hair.
Mom, at her age, this is normal. This is what happens. It is not early puberty, it is normal puberty. 11 year olds wear bras, and sometimes get their periods (my kid got theirs at 11 years 8 months). Get ahold of yourself. Her body beginning the changes of puberty doesn't mean she'll be screwing some boy in the tool shed next week. Just continue to have ongoing discussions about age appropriate topics. There will be a point where you have 4 teenagers at once, prepare yourself!
You have an 11 year old that still takes a bath and lets you rinse her hair?
Nope, not normal.
My youngest is 13, not one of my four kids would let anyone see them naked after ten, I agree with Veruca's pervy troll assessment.
Broken shower huh? So your husband takes a bath every morning before work? How efficient
Snarky, snarky, snarky...sorry J. M.
It's hard to reach those milestones and not wonder where the years have gone. But, there are so many great things ahead!!
And, for the record, I don't think it's weird that you help her rinse the conditioner out of her hair. My niece will be 11 next month and my sister still helps--my niece has super thick, long, curly hair and it's a lot of work!
You two seem close--which is awesome!!
Wow-not normal to see the child who is the same sex as you naked?! Not normal for you, maybe TF, but normal for others. Nudity is not an issue in my house and my 10 yr old dd is nude around me regularly. She is more modest with Dad and he with her, but lets it all hang out when it's just us girls! J., it's normal to feel that way, she's your baby! When my daughter discovered a hair down there, she wanted me to look(I declined), then yanked it out (sheet in no rush to grow up, she says!)
Normal for an 11 year old to be maturing. Not normal to need help with a bath. Not normal for a mom to be shocked at her daughter growing up. What did you expect?
Oh I'm right there with you - I'm surprised many of the responders can't see the spirit in which this post was written. My daughter got very secretive about her body starting around age 9 (she'd actually cover her body with her arms and crouch down in the shower if I walked in the bathroom to get something - "Mom! Get OUT!" - as if she even had anything to hide back then!). So I had to ask her at one point if she was getting any hair "down there", and even though she told me yes it was still a shock when she had white panties on in front of me one day and I could tell she had some. The surprise comes from actually seeing it the first time vs just knowing in your head your daughter is getting older.
She is 12 1/2 and started her period this summer. Even though she knew what to expect - she's read the books about puberty and we had talked about it a LOT over the years - she still freaked out when it happened. The amount of blood that was on that first wipe in the bathroom was a lot more than what she thought it would be.
I feel sorry for my husband and son because now there are two sets of feminine products in the bathrooms.
ETA: My son is about to turn 10 and I don't know WHAT I'm going to do the first time I have to wash "soiled" sheets for him - yikes!
Most kids are taking their own showers/bathes by themselves with no help from anyone by the age of 7.
Now what?
Quit helping with bathes for all your kids except your 5 yr old.
If hair needs rinsing after a wash, most people will use the kitchen sink to use the hose sprayer - or an outside hose if the weather is warm enough.
