Pumping for Others

As long as you dont have AIDS or Hep C I think its fine. I think it would be nice for the overall effect but maybe kinda wierd. I think its nice..

Did you sister choose not to breastfeed, or was she unable to? I would say if she was unable to it would be okay to offer her milk. On the other hand if she did not want to she could be very offended that you are suggesting she does not know what is best for her child. I believe breast is best, but some women are against it. Talk to her and find out her reasoning.

I wouldn't think she would be offended. Do you know why she didn't choose to breastfeed? If she didn't want to breastfeed because she thinks it is weird or icky then she might not love the idea. There are some moms who just think it's gross. I would add though my son was breastfed until my milk ran out and he was colicy and sick often too. Breast milk is awesome and if were unable to breastfeed my own son I'd take my sister's milk in a heartbeat!! Plus breast milk is free and brestfed babies diaper's don't stink as much!! That's reason enough :)

I would be very careful of this. While it is a wonderful and sweet thought on your part the offer could upset your sister. I could not breastfeed my son and as a formula feeding mom I got horrible comments, glares and snobbish attitudes from people. IF you know why you sister is formula feeding, and she isn't touchy about breastfeeding then you can offer.

Personally though I would say leave it alone. Now hear me out before you all start jumping on me saying how horrible I am. Your sister is already doing the best for her baby. The decision to breast or bottle feed is completely up to nature and the mother. You stepping in and offering her breast milk for her baby, while a kind gesture on your part, may seem like nothing more then a slap in the face to her. It could come across as you telling her you are better then her and know more about her daughter then she does. This could cause some harsh feelings all around as this tends to be a touchy debate among moms.

Also just keep in mind that formula feeding does not automatically equal colicky, sick babies just as breastfeeding does not automatically equal happy, healthy babies. My son was formula fed and has always been healthy, rarely catches even a cold. My friend's baby was breastfeed for the first 2 years and is constantly sick, and was the most unhappy infant I ever met. Sometimes it is just personality, and genetics.

I too considered doing this for my sister when our babies were new born. My daughter is 3 weeks older than hers and she was not producing enough milk from the beginning, while I was pumping about 10 ounces or more daily on top of feeding my little one. The only problem was that we lived quite a ways away.

Also, and more importantly, she is a germophobe and finds even her own feet "gross", so I pretty much figured she would turn my offer down anyway. And she seems to believe everything she reads. (Which then you would figure she would read about the benefits of breastmilk and jump at the chance of giving it to her baby when she wasn't able to produce it herself.)

I actually mentioned it to her once, and she confirmed that she would not want it. I was not hurt- a little annoyed. (Only cause we're sisters and it's hard to believe how different we are.)

I guess, it can't hurt to offer- especially if she wanted to breastfeed and wasn't able to. Just be preparede to have your selfless gift rejected and be able to let it go.

Good luck to you, your sister, and her precious little girl.

PS
If my sister would have even considered it, I would have consulted my doctor and had whatever tests done to make sure that everything would be good for my niece.

You bet!! It would be AWESOME!! What a gift! I've done it before. I'm a lactation specialist, I've nursed about 25 children and 4 of my very own. It is best to freeze it in glass. I like to use old baby food jars. THere are really only good benefits for all concerened!! The only thing to worry about is if you have HIV or HEP B/C. If you are free of these, you are the coolest sister EVER!!

Since it's your sister, I would just ask. It can't hurt and no, no harm, especially since you are already nursing your own. However!!! Your health and that of your baby needs to be a priority. Pumping for your sis may wear you out more than you already are? It's your choice though and is a very kind gesture. If it were me and I thought my sis would be open to it, I'd offer.
M.

it really depends on how your sister feels about breast milk and her decision to not nurse. i nursed my children but if i couldn't i would never take another persons milk for them. i would not mention the colds her daughter has had or that she is colicky if someone did that to me i would be on the defensive. good luck as well nursing is not a fix all i have known many mothers who nurse and their children are still colicky and i am nursing a 2 mo old who got a cold anyways

J.:
I think its a cool idea. It really depends on your sister. Maybe she'll go for it and maybe she won't. What is the harm of asking?
S.

Heck yes its fine - as long as she is ok with it. I didn't pump for my nephew...i used him to bring on more milk supply! he latched on better than my daughter so this helped increase my supply! LOL! talk about everyone being happy all the way around!! I am so serious!

With my first child, my sister-in-law nursed my son. As long as you trust your source there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Glad to hear she is excited about it!!

i think it would be awesome. i adopted my son and a dear friend provided us with some breastmilk. just offer it up to her and also offer to have yourself tested for HIV and hep C. Those are really important before you offer "bodily fluids".
you're a star for doing this!

I pumped for a milk bank for over a year.
My son is 25m and still never been sick, breast milk is awesome. Not just the health benefits, but behavior, intelligence...............
It's very generous of you to want to do it for your sister. Breast milk is THE BEST thing for babies and toddlers. However, why is she offering formula? She may be uneducated about ALL the BENEFITS of human milk. Why doesn't she pump for her own child? Talk to her openly and then decide.

Only YOU know the relationship between you & your sis....does she take offense easily? is she open to knew ideas/suggestions?, etc..

That said, try thinking of it this way.....if your sister was offering 2 bottles of FORMULA for you to give to YOUR child, how would YOU feel?

I say, to each her own. You raise YOUR baby & let your sis do the same. Good luck to you, mama! :-)

It's great that you want to pump for your sister. But please don't tell her the reason is that you see your niece is not as healthy and thrive as your daughter. Breastmilk is not the solely factor for development. My husband nephew was fed just on breastmilk until he was 9 months old, yet he got more colds than my son, not listening to his parents, still have problem w/ pronunciation many consonants, still can't pronounce my son name correctly (it's Dylan, and he pronouce like dyyan) comparing to my son who was fed just 10% of breastmilk and the rest on Enfamilk formula (he didn't latch on, so i just pump but not much). So, it's depend on each baby and how we nurture and educate them.

You can bring up that you have extra breastmilk and ask your sister if she want to give it for your niece. It would save her some money on formula for sure and maybe it would help w/ the colic since it's easier to digest. Also, during cold season, make sure your niece always go out w/ warm clothes and hat, cover her carrier.... Keep dust and allergen out of the house, 'cause allergy symptoms could be mistaken to colds too. If she has other older kid(s) that go to school or daycare outside home, make sure they wash their hands and change into clean clothes when they get home and when they hold the baby.

good luck....

i would be so totally offended. Let her raise her child the way she wants. I am pro-breastfeeding but healthy children can be raised on formula. I breastfed my children and one was totally healthy and the other was constantly sick, go figure!

I echo Mariel F.

This can be a touchy subject for some Moms, who are not nursing. Only you know your sister best... and how she would react.

Like Mariel said, nursing/breastmilk is not the cure-all for all babies... and many babies who do drink Formula, are healthy as well. My son for example, was breastfed until he weaned himself, then, I gave him Formula. He is healthy as a horse and in his 2.5 years of age, he only got sick twice, but very mild.

Each child & baby is different... and some are just colicky and some aren't. It can be due to MANY reasons. It can be reflux/their personality/gas problems/allergy or intolerances/the brand of Formula and other reasons. Fussiness can also be due to lack of intake. But that is something your sister should ask her Pediatrician about.

Some Moms do welcome advice about their baby and some don't even if coming from a sister. So, gauge yourself and her... and see if she would "welcome" any "advice" from you. If it were me, I would get irritated... but only because me and my sister are total opposites per our approaches to children. I have my own way.

try not to "compare" both of your babies.

Personally, I would not use the breastmilk of another woman.

All the best,
Susan

I only glanced at one or two posts, sorry if I am repeating. I think it's great if your sister okays it. The only health concerns I have heard of are that HIV can be transmitted through breast milk. Other than that, it is great that you want to help out your sister and niece. She may still have some issues with illness since she will get antibodies from you, and if she is exposed to something you haven't been exposed to, she will be more vulnerable.

Also, you will have to build up your supply if you want to make extra milk for her, and it will take some time (I relactated, so I know how it can be), but you can do it. Good luck!

There is no harm in offering. I breastfed my son for 3 1/2 months as that is all the breast milk that my body was able to give. My son was colicy even while breastfeeding and caught a cold as well. Having breast milk does give them certain advantages however some kids are just more likely to get colds. I think that as long as you are offering it to her out of love and not judgment she would be appreciative even if she declines. If I could have given my son the breast milk of my sister, I would have been thrilled!!

I bottle fed all 3 of my kids and none of them were ever any sicker than breastfed babies. I agree that it's just a coincidence. I think whether or not your sister would find you offering your breast milk offencive depends on why she is bottle feeding. I personally would have been greatly insulted and mad if someone had offered their breast milk. It's like saying our decision to bottle feed is wrong and we're already making bad decisions for our baby. I got lectured plenty of yime from people who though my decision was wrong, but it's my decision and I told them to respect it. There have been a lot of advances in formula. Only you know your sister and how she may react. New Mom's can be sensitive. How would you feel if someone suggested you were doing something bad for your baby?

Never hurts to ask, I'd do it for my sister's kids, if she had any & needed it.

It depends on your relationship with your sister. I pumped for my sisters baby when she was young and my sister really appreciated it. You can offer it as a way to help save $$ on formula - that might be accepted better. She wouldn't feel like you were telling her she is doing anything WRONG, but could still take advantage of the benefits of breastmilk if she's comfortable with it. I think it's a nice thing you want to do for her, and I commend you for it.

I think you're awesome for considering it! Of course it would help! Contact La Leche League for more info. and support on the subject. Maybe you could find other stories on the subject and present them to your sister and see what her feelings are about it. I know some women feel guilt for not being able to breastfeed or giving up pretty early and wishing they hadn't. You know your sister, so if she's open-minded about these things, then go ahead and offer. But if she's more on the conservative or she has guilt about not breastfeeding , you might want to let the idea go. Happy Baby-moon!!!

i think it would be nice to offer but your niece will most likely still be fussy b/c formula is harder to digest for babes..but still she could reap some benefits from your milk..if u have enough to spare that would be cool...your sis might think it odd or she might be very grateful depends on how open she is.

I breastfed my niece when my twins were born a week after her.

My sister would bring her over and leave her with me, she did fine. Offer it to her and see what she says. I can't think of anything that would harm the baby. It will help for sure.

I think it is a coincidence that her daughter is sick more often. I wanted to breastfeed until 1 year, but my daughter had severe allergies and was put on a prescription formula at 10 weeks. She has been an extremely healthy child and is thriving now at 16 months developmentally and physically. I have a friend with a 2 year old who still breastfeeds who has been sick more often with ear infections, colds, respiratory illness etc since birth. Every baby is different. It is just my opinion, but I think it would be offensive for you to offer your breastmilk to your sister. I personally had a lot of guilt over not being able to breastfeed and would have been insulted if my sister or friend suggested that I should be supplementing with breastmilk. It is a very personal decision. Than again...you know your sister best. I just wouldn't assume that the developmental and immune system differences are breastfeeding related. That said, I think it's great that you are choosing to breastfeed and that your daughter is healthy. You are lucky!

There are no health issues unless you are taking something that goes into the breast milk. Many women pump and sell their breast milk that is used for premies. How to approach your sister is another issue. She could always try it to see if it helps.

I too had a formula fed baby and she was and is sooo healthy. She was actually healthier then my breast fed neice who was 11 months older then her. Lucky break for me, I'm sure.
As to offer it or not, that depends on your relationship with your sister and her reasonings for not breast feeding. It's a personal choice, so I say tread lightly.

Ypu have some good advice already and not wanting to sound like a broken record I will keep it short. Like others said why is your sister not breastfeeding, that may be the answer to if she will or will not be offended. The other really good point on here is you can't compare your children, every child is different even in the same family. I could not breast feed my first son and he was happy and healthy, I am breastfeeding my second, but he has had 2 colds, and a short bout of colic. But it can be done if your sister agrees to it. My husbands Mom actually breastfed her sis in laws baby for her. She was just finishing up and about to wean her child when her sis in law became very ill she offered to feed her baby.

I think that is a wonderful thing to offer your neice! Is there a reason your sister isn't breastfeeding? If she is unable to, I am sure she would be very grateful of you offering.

I agree with the mothers that say it really depends on 1. the reason your sister did not breast feed and 2. your relationship with your sister. I would not offer if she chose not to breast feed or if you've had issues w/your relationship. She may be offended and think you're being critical of her. Also some people may think it's weird even if it comes from family.

My sister was not successful at breastfeeding but was able to pump. She had a much lower supply than I did and I had too much milk (could have fed multiples, according to the breast feeding consultant). My sister was giving formula for one feeding each day. We are very close and so I offered the extra milk to my sister so that she could have enough breast milk to last my neice until she was a year old. She was very grateful. Both my sister's children were sick more often and borderline colicky and they both had breast milk..

J.,
I think you are very caring. There use to be such a thing as a "wet nurse", way back when a "proper" woman did not breast feed. No harm in asking, I would be thrilled if it were me, but why is she not doing it herself? What a generous offer, after 6 of them I know it can be VERY tiring so be careful! If you are unsure of her thoughts, bring it up that you read about it or something to get a feeling for her thoughts.Good luck!

Dear J.:

I think it would be perfectly generous to offer.

You don't have to mention the health benefits if you think she'll be sensitive about it. There are considerable financial benefits as well!

In many cultures, women are more interdependent and even nurse one another's babies. This is nothing new and nothing strange. It is simply LOVING.

Best wishes,

M.

Just suggestions...
First, talk with her mother. Find out why she chose formula over breastmilk and be honest. Tell her what you are offering is just an option and she should not feel obligated. If your intent is clear, she will likely respond positively. Good luck, hope it all goes well.

Has your sister expressed a desire to breastfeed and a frustration about not getting enough milk? If not, I would not make the offer, there could be many reasons why your babies have different health and temperaments. If she is interested in breastfeeding but has not been successful, there are lots of sources of encouragement and help for her to get her own milk going. If you are unsure what her position is, you could just mention sometime that you have extra milk (pump some and put it in the freezer), that she could try if she thought that would help with the colic, and then leave it up to her.

I would have to say it would depend on the relationship you & your sister have. Are you close are you always competing with each other. It sounds like a lovely gesture but it might make her feel bad about herself. I wwuld agree it depends on why she isn't is it because she couldn't or didn't believe it was better for her child. I totally believed nursing was best but because of an illness at 6 weeks with my oldest had to stop if I had a sister I would of loved the offer. Preemies are often given donated breastmilk so it is done but again it would depend on the situation. Good luck this is a tough situation.

If you are close with your sister I would offer for sure - you can see proof of the benefits of breastfeeding first hand. If she says no, you cant be upset with her, but I think an offer would be fine.

There is a reason your sister decided not to breastfeed. What was it? You also have to keep in mind that maybe her baby is just going to be colicky; you can't compare children they are all different. Plus that is a huge commitment from you. Pumping is hard you will be committing yourself to either pumping for feeding your own daughter every hour and sometimes your only get around 2 ounces when you pump. You could pump all day for only one bottle. Offering breast milk might seem nice to you but it can but a HUGE insult to the person that you are offering it to. You are saying "I noticed that she was getting sick a lot and you could have some of my breast milk if you want." but you could be saying is "I can't believe you didn't care enough about your daughter to breastfeed her, and now she is getting sick all the time." You have to be very careful with this to answer your question yes it could be extremely offensive especially to a new mother. There are always health risks and you need to ask the doctor and get tested for transmittable diseases.

I think it's fine to make the offer, but I am not sure the health connections are necessarily from breast milk. I breastfed both my kids exclusively. My son was a perfectly healthy baby and never got sick his first year of life. My daughter had colic and reflux and tends to catch any illness that comes her way.

I breastfed another mom's baby who thought her son couldn't latch on. He did...and she realized it was her and her stress levels. Pumping is a great idea to help her. Also, if she's going to continue formula, sometimes mixing the formula with goat's milk instead of water, as well as adding 1 PB8 to it...usually the colic disappears within 3 days. Also, soy based formula can cause a lot of digestive issues as well.

I wouldn't suggest it as...your baby is sick and colicy, my daughter is strong and healthy. It's SO easy to offend a mommy with a young baby. Good luck!