Question About a Stranger in Our Neighborhood

Hi Heather- I think you are 100% right to be concerned, although not paranoid. I find myself able to picture so many senarios if given the opportunity, so try not to let your mind start to conjure up ideas of how/why this man was there. Unfortunately, the time to do something was then and the time has passed. Next time, I would step in IMMEDIATELY and say, "Im sorry but we are trying to teach our son about strangers and how to deal with them. He isnt to tell strangers his name or information. I'm sure you understand" and screw them if they dont understand. Also, I would have started asking him, who are you? Do you live around here? etc. That being said, we all freeze up in those times when you dont want to be rude. It is especially alarming that he did this in front of you. It gives your son an added confidence that this man is "OK". This man is especially dangerous now that he knows a like your son has, baseball. All it might take is a new ball or glove to entice your son. At this point I would just talk to your son about what happened, to remember this man and NOT go near him under any circumstances if you are not there. Explain how concerned you are with the way you handled it and how you would handle it differently if you had a chance to do it over. Explain your real fears to your son. He is old enough to know the realities of life. I would be as blunt as possible with your son. It is much better that he be scared and safe than abducted and harmed. Go to your local sheriff's web site and look up sexual offenders in your area. If you see this man, report the incident to the police. There isnt much they can do, talking to people isnt illegal. But get it on record that this happened just in case. Also, visit kidznpower.net with your son. Lots of good info on kids protecting themselves, body language, etc. I'm so sorry for the worry you must be carrying around. My son is three, never out of sight unless in his preschool, and I already worry for his safety. Be honest with your son. The more he knows, the better he will protect himself. Inform his school/camp IMMEDIATELY. Tell his teachers, assistants, etc. yourself. Make sure everyone knows what happened and they will be especially diligent. Also, abductors often work in pairs. Tell your son to be aware of ANYONE who calls to him that he doesn't recognize immediately and instruct him to run as fast as he can. Also, tell him never to go anywhere alone. We all should have these talks with our kids, your is just been given an little push due to an incident. Good luck.

I don't blame you Heather, that would make me very nervous also. Just like you said "in this day and age you never know anymore" BUT also the man knows the same thing so he shouldn't be asking those type of questions because there very personal nowadays. I can understand him asking your son how old he is and what's his FIRST name but there was no need to ask last name and which house he lived at.
I would just be extra cautious when he's outside. Stinks to say that because you don't want to be paranoid but you can't help it either.
Mention to any neighbors that your friends with the situation and describe the man to them just he case he comes around again..
Sorry you had to experience that because now it makes you more nervous. Rightfully so!

PS Amie H gave you some great advice also..

It wouldn't hurt to research area sex offenders / sexual predators to see if the man looks familiar. You can access the info through the sheriff's dept. website. I would feel the same way as you especially since I live down the street from a very busy park with lots of kids playing and adults walking, jogging, walking their dogs, etc. It doesn't hurt to be suspicious, especially in this day and age. Keep a look out for the man again and make sure you remind your son not to speak to strangers when you and his dad aren't around.

Trust your gut. Make sure that your son understands that he is to NEVER talk to this man without YOU or your HUSBAND present. Period.

P.S.: Thank you for posting the entire scenario that happened. I'm sure it was eye opening to a lot of moms (including myself) about how insidiously someone like that can insert themselves into a situation. We all probably thought we were prepared.. but we can be so overwhelmed with awkwardness that we feel weird about speaking up. Thank you for helping ME to not fall into that trap (which is exactly what it is) should I be confronted with that situation. The problem is that there IS no confrontation. We would ALL know what to do if there were, but with no confrontation WE are the ones that create the confrontation... and the predators count on us not being willing to do so.

HI Heather...oh yes, I think you have 100% every right to be feeling upset. That is just not normal behavior. As a rational adult, I would never ask a child their last name, or what house was there's. Too many questions. I am glad you talked to your son..and I would talk to him again and again, stressing to NEVER speak to that man again, and to run to the house if he ever spots him. It is horrible to have to put fear in our kids...but I totally think this sounds like a scary situation. I would also call the police immediately, and file a report. Nothing can be done, but it would be good to have this info on file. Did you get his name? Don't let anyone make you feel bad for feeling alarmed. This is the well being of your precious child we are talking about. This guy could be harmless, but I would rather be too proactive about it. I think the most important thing is to really stress to your son to NEVER talk to this man again...EVER. Once you feel like your son is fully aware, I think you can feel better. You know, I recently posted on mamasource, asking how to start to explain stranger danger to my two year old. I know your son is much older, but one mom recommended a Berenstain Bears book about Strangers. I think it is a little advanced for my daughter, b/c they use a lot of analogies, but in the final section, brother almost goes off with a guy and his model airplane. Even if it is basic for your son, you might want to pick up a copy, as it does use a lot of helpful analogies that might get the point sunk in from a few angles, w/o being too scary. Good luck.
A. :)

Hello Heather K.,
You know that saying about, "...if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck, it probably is a duck?" Well, you are probably "spot on" about this stranger.
I'm not telling you this to scare you any more, but to congradulate you on being the first line of defense for your family, especially where your children are concerned.
The very reason you allowed him to continue
to {force} his agenda [gaining personal info on your son and seeing exactly what you and your husband & family look like, etc], while you were standing right there, on *your front lawn, in *your neighborhood, in plain view of the *neighbors, too.
Doing this he achieves two major advantages:
1)he knows anything and everything he needs to know to get to your son(or daughter or both),
2)he is no longer a stranger, to your son, or for that matter your neighbors. He's legitimized himself to you and anyone who may ID him later as a "person of interest", suspect, dirtbag, sicko.
Don't ignore your instincts. If something/someone gives you a creepy feeling,
it's probably in your best interest and that of your family to be aware and watchfull.
I was a single mom of a daughter for many years, and I always paid attention when that "yuckkie" feeling hit me whenever me and my daughter met someone new, be it a he, she, it, or they.
I hope your son and/or you never again see this "stranger". But if you do, I would not hesitate, be pro-active. Act before, instead of after he gets a chance to harm you or anyone in your family. Report his suspicious behavior to police and to administrators at your son's school.
You are being a good parent, thats how its done, always being observant and questioning.
You'll be fine.
Peace + Love + Harmony, aaborges

Ok, I don't know where you live, but I live in Miami and people just aren't nice or friendly, so anyone who is, especially a man to a child, just sends out the creep vibes... Even if he was just being "friendly" what does that have to do with knowing which house you live in or even your last name for that matter??? This is obviously not ok. If that would have happened to me and my daughter, my husband would have freaked!!! he's a cop so he doesn't trust anyone..... he sees this type of stuff everyday, we are surrounded by scumbags so you can never be too carefull!! trust me I hear the stories everyday from my husband and it terrifies me...
If that were to happen again, please tell your son to simply say "I don't talk to strangers" whether he is in front of you or not, Ive seen kids do this all the time, its not rude, its just being safe and if the person gets offended...they'll get over it

A quick suggestion...while this is all very fresh in your mind, write out exactly what happened. Write a descriptive narrative about this man...what he looked like, height, weight, what he was wearing, etc. Your memory will fade over time and heaven forbid you ever need that information. Just write it out with as much detail as possible and tuck that away.
Ask your husband to also describe the man and write it down since his description may vary from yours.
If you see the man around again and decide to contact the police, having a good description will be useful.

The first thing I would do at this point is talk to your son and advise him not to speak to this man without your husband or your presence. He may feel comfortable because he met this man with you and think that you are OK with the man.

I would also check the predator list. You can google it, they will give you a list of known predators in your area and where they live. I believe you can also get pictures.

Yes, your encounter seemed harmless enough, but you are right, it could be more! This is a new method used by predators to unsuspecting families. No one suspects and they have already had contact and now have an in to speak to your child without them feeling guarded.

I'm not trying to scare you, but you are right to be vigilant.

I have to be honest here, I think that the fact that he asked your son instead of you all of the questions really bothers me. Most people direct questions about children to their parents. I'd check around the neighborhood and see if this guy lives there, if he does I'd go further. I don't know the website but there is one that actually tells you know sex offenders. To be safe and feel better. Its just that when a child is asked a question by an adult, they for the most part feel they have to answer them and be honest. Its not cool the guy asked him all of those questions. Good luck, Jen

This does sound like a scarey situation. Jacksonville has one of the highest rates of child molesters...fact!

This sounds like something to worry about. I would report this to the police. They can't do anything about it right now, but it will be on record. If others call in, then this could be a safe guard for others.

*knock on wood* If something should happen, there is a description fresh in your head of what this person looks like and acts like on record already...little details can go a long way in trying to find someone. This could help anyone who claims that this man may have grabbed their child. Not just you.....

I would write down everything you remember about this person, and teach your children never to give this information out, except to a police when you are in trouble. This is my opinion.

It's always safe to trust your gut instinct and be on the safe/cautious side. You can call the non emergency police line to report a suspicious person -- give a description of the encounter and of the man and they will be able to advise you of precautions to take, etc. The # is 305-4-POLICE

Hopefully it is nothing but a well-intentioned neighbor, but it is always better to be cautious.

YOU NEED TO FILL OUT A POLICE REPORT!!!

You need to either call your local police's non-emergency number, or call 911 and say this is not an emergency (some cities have that option instead of a seperate non-emergency police phone number).
You need to let them know that a stranger spoke with your son X number of days ago and someone suggested that you have a police report filled out and would they please send an officer to your home to take a report.
There are several reasons why you need to do this NOW-- RIGHT NOW-- AS SOON AS YOU FINISH READING THIS!!!
--The officer will give you much better advice and tips than we can give you as moms
--The officer will know if there is a predator in your area who has done this with other children (based on other moms like you calling to place a report)
--Giving a description of the man will be so helpful for them to have on file

I'm so sorry, but I err on the side of paranoid when it comes to our children. It is NOT OK for a grown man to ask your son for his last name and which house he lives in!! Period!!!!!!!!!!! Please do NOT let your son play outside without you or your husband out there with him, and please make sure your doors are locked at night!!! Predators only show up on the data base if they have been CAUGHT and convicted!

Also, just thinking this through based on the info you gave-- he asked for your son's name, but did he tell your son his name?? Did he introduce himself to you?? If he did, see if your son can remember it or try to remember it yourself. If he didn't, doesn't that seem suspicious? Wouldn't an "innocent" man introduce himself to the parent of a child before approaching the child?

It is sad that this is what our world has come to. But you have every right to be concerned. I got the creeps just reading your story! PLEase be extra careful in the next coming weeks. make sure you talk to your son everyday about not talking to strangers. I hate to make our kids afraid and think the world is a terrible place, but this is just the way the world is today. And remember to mention to him that these people are clever.. next time the man may approach with a box full of candy or baseball cards... etc... make sure your son knows not to fall for this. This is my BIGGEST fear ever... (having my child kidnapped). AND as others have suggested, please mention this to the other families in your neighborhood (or if there is an association meeting you should go to the next one). Some may think you are paranoid, but I say better safe than sorry!!! You can also call your local police department and ask them to patrol the area a few times during the day. (the department I used to work for called this a "watchorder") and they have to do it if a resident requests it. Im sorry, but He just asked too many questions.... and our sweet little kids are so innocent they dont think twice about answering... Stay safe.. take care.

Oh, my goodness, don't ever feel like you're being too over protective. G-D gave women; especially woman, this intuition that is there innately to protect them. When I don't listen to mine, things go awry.

This feeling came over you for a reason; perhaps if it was another man, it might not have felt the way it did. It was this man that this uneasy feeling came over you.

As for the info given, let me just say that all preditors need on Facebook or MySpace is a name and an age.

I would just explain to your son that he should never give out his last name, address, or any other type of info. You were playing outside your home so this man does know where you live. I would just watch to see if he comes back. You probably didn't think to ask at the time but next time ask him questions; such as, do you live in the neighborhood, do you have children?

Let us know how things go; especially if this man comes back. You can never be too careful. People prey on the innocense of children.

Hi, Heather. Yes, I think your instincts are correct. Unfortunately, ppl like that stranger count on nice ppl like you being too polite to violate your own standards of courtesy, so they inject themselves into your yard, your family, and begin stalking children because they are acting nice at the time and therefore get away with it.

No stranger should ever, EVER, feel comfortable enough to interrogate your small children about their name, address, etc. And no truly polite person would come up and interrupt YOUR TIME WITH YOUR CHILD. Clearly, this guy was some kind of predator; he may have mistakenly believed that you were a single mom playing with her boy, and so he just injected himself into the situation as a kind of father figure. It seems he did not get the fact that there was already a real father figure on the scene; this is how predators con their way into mothers' hearts and into their children's bedrooms.

Yes, be very alert from now on. Make your husband alert, too, and from now on, if he sees a stranger injecting himself between you and your son or daughter, your husband should walk up and make sure the stranger/predator knows that there is already a strong male presence, and the stranger's interference is not appreciated.

Please let your neighbors know about this incident so that they can be more cautious,too. The average predator harms hundreds of children before he is ever caught with one child.

I would also go on the internet and look up predators known to live in your area. If you recognize the man's face, you need to go to the police because convicted predators are required to #1, register with the state they live in, and #2, stay far enough away from all children so that they are not able to converse with them, play with them, or influence them in any way.

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but you have come face to face with someone who wants to harm your son. Just be happy that you were there and that nothing worse happenned than an unsettling encounter with a much-too-aggressive stranger.

I pray that this guy has no opportunity to harm any more children.

Peace,
Syl

Hi Heather...It sounds creapy to me to. I agree with Victoria to trust your gut. Strangers don't ask last names or where kids live if it's innocent. I would even go as far as to talk to your son. Make sure he understands not to get near him again, especially if you are not around.

There is a predator list on the internet that you can check. http://offender.fdle.state.fl.us/offender/searchNeighborh...
Most predators are not caught or convicted until they have offended many times. I'm not trying to scare you but you are right. In today's times, you can never be too careful.

God bless!
M.

I think everybody has gut feelings for a reason. I am a mother of a 5 1/2 year old little girl and live directly across the street from a park and the thought of some crazy nieghbor or a stranger hanging around the park is constantly on my mind. As mothers of small children.... we worry about the things that could happen. It's in our nature to protect our children.

Now all of that being said - I'm sure you remember what this man looked liked. There are websites that show you sex offenders and child molesters in your neighborhood. I suggest you see if this man happens to be one of them. If he has had an issue in the past then I strongly suggest you call the police and tell them what happened. It will let them know that if he's a prior attacker - they need to keep a closer watch. Even if it's not your son - it could be somebody elses.

If this man is not on any site as a potenial harm - then I would keep a close watch on the nieghborhood itself. Maybe you'll see him at a neighbors house and you can ask who he is to somebody who knows him. In this day in age - it takes a brave man to do something like that and not think of the consequences or how it might make you feel.

Then again, it could have been completely innocent - maybe the guy had a son and lost him either by an accident or a divorce. Maybe he just needed that connection through baseball again and figured that since you were right there with your son - it would be ok.

Try to think back about how he acted when you're husband came around. Did he change his temperment at all? Get nervous? leave shortly after? Show any signs of akwardness?

If he stayed perfectly calm throughout the whole time and he's not listed on any website as an offender - i wouldn't worry too much and stress out about it. Just keep an eye out for anything strange from here on out.

Hope this helps.

I would have a talk with as many neighbors as possible. Even some kind of meeting to talk about it and tell them the stituation so that everyone can help keep your area safe. Write down or draw his description while it is fresh in your mind. Keep being proactive about it. If he does come back around, try to gain any information about him that you can and then I would alert the police. Even if he is harmless, I would rather be safe.

I think you should trust your instincts. Personally, that whole situation sounds really creepy. I'd say to have your son keep close the house and you guys for awhile, and definitely give a stranger danger update/talk. I am getting my masters in forensic science, and believe it, it is MUCH better to be safe than sorry!

Heather,

Sit back and read your own words line by line. All I heard is this man entered your safe zone and you blindly allowed it. how about "I am sorry, we have taught our children not to speak with strangers, I don't remember seeing you in our neighborhood before. Who are you and where do you live?"

the point is - you let him over rule your authority. You already showed him your weakness. Yes I would be over cautious. He did not come to have a conversation with an adult about their child. He came to have a conversation, play date and interview with a seven year old. Does that not hit you a little harder?- or does it take a baseball to hit you in the head????

Hey, real quick. I didn't read all of the responses because I don't have the time. I don't want to add to your fear, but make sure the school he goes makes SURE no body but you comes to pick him up. Mine aren't in school yet, so I don't know school policy, but since he has the important info. I don't know how easy it would be to pretend to be a police officer or something and pull him out of class. I'm so sorry, it's just one thought that jumped out at me.

If he'd had a child with him as well, it would be different, but he didn't. It's just weird. His intentions may very well have been harmless, but his behavior was inappropriate. I would say don't let your son out of your sight. Don't let yourself get paranoid, but if you see the man hovering again or he comes up to you again you should just say goodbye and go inside. If he continues to hover, ask your husband to ask him to leave or call the police. I'm speaking from personal experience here. We had a similar experience and it really creeped me out, and he kept coming around and even ringing the doorbell. I didn't answer the door and when my husband came home, he told the man to please not come around. He didn't, but if he had, I would have called the police. Even if someone's intentions are harmless, they need to learn what is and isn't odd behavior. Women with small children unfortunately just have to be careful in our world and a grown man should think of these things. Knowing so much about your son, and doing with the apparent safety of parents, does make it seem like he's gathering info.

I always go with my gut feeling on things. If you have a strange feeling about it now, if he he comes back around and you don't think he lives in your neighborhood call your non-emergency police number and have a police officer come ask him a few questions- you can do it annonmously. I have had to do this before at a park that I go to daily due to a strange care there every morning and sure enough the day after the police spoke with him he never came back which to me is a bit shady. Follow your gut- you're not doing anything but trying to protect your family.

America's Most Wanted John Walsh has a kids safety movie and is supposedly very good. I have not seen it yet - as my kids are still a bit young. I think you should start talking to your son about the dangers of strangers... he is old enough. I think once he is aware - you will feel better. After that, consider self-defense classes for the family. Don't do all of this too quickly or he will be a nervous wreck.

I'm all about problem solving - I think this ultimately helps with taming worries and anxiety. Just try to problem solve and you will feel in control.

Good luck and God Bless.
T.

They always say in those safety courses to go with your gut instinct. I agree it sounds fishy. If it were me, I would emphasize to my child that although the man seemed nice, we do not know who he was and should not talk to him without mom or dad around. he is not a neighbor and we are not sure where he came from. Also, there is a website you can check out for offenders in your area, I think its floridaoffenderalert.com. I hate to be so skeptical of people, but you really never know. We were burgarlized in February after leaving to go out of town.I cannot help but think someone saw us leaving as we had cars in the driveway, lights on, etc. Soo, most likely it could have been a neighbor.

Your are right about that, in this day and age you have to be very careful as there seem to be more freaks out there. But you can't get yourself too worked up about it, you are already very aware and had a talk with your son. Just be sure to tell your son not to go over to any strangers on the street, near them or their car, and not to give them any personal information about himself or his family. Just to be on the safe side.

Heather,

You should absolutely be concerned, that is how predators operate. When someone approaches me and my son and try to get him to talk, I just tell them that he has been told not to talk to strangers. He's only 3, but I don't want him to feel that he has to talk to strangers to be nice. You should always listen to your instincts. There is a great book about that called, "The Gift of Fear." I would be extra cautious to watch your son, because if it happens that the man is a predator, you can bet that he is watching and waiting for an opportunity that he is alone outside or walking to the bus or whatever. I don't want to alarm you or scare you, but this society is a scary place. I have friends that are police officers, and they say there is no such thing as being overprotective today. I know it's hard to not be rude to a stranger, but any decent person would understand if you asked them to keep walking and not engage conversation with yourself or your son. There is a website that you can check that will show the convicted sexual predators in your area. I'm not sure what it is, but you can google it. Keep your eyes open and watch your children closely. Sincerely, Kim

I think you have a right to be concerned. I would suggest writing down everything you can remember about the man and the conversation - especially a description of his physical appearance (height, weight, facial features, estimated age, any defining features such as a tattoo, etc.). I would also make sure you keep all possible entry points (doors, windows) to your home locked. I would also make sure that if your son's room has a window that the blinds/shades/window treatment block any view from the outside looking in (especially after dark). If there are other moms in the area, it wouldn't hurt to mention what happened to them as well. Maybe one of them saw the man as well, or maybe someone had company in from out-of-town and will know who it was. You could also go online and check the photos of any sex offenders that are registered and living in the area of your home to make sure that you do not recognize the man. There is only so much you can do, and hopefully by taking some precautions you will be able to relax more. As difficult as it may be, I would also try to not let your worry consume your thoughts. Hopefully it was just some random guy that really likes baseball, but my view is rather safe than sorry. It would also be helpful to get your husband's opinion and to have him talk to your son as well (if you haven't already).

Yes, i would call your local police department and tell them this story and give them a description of this man. I am not saying this to make you worry any more than i know you already are , but as a mother and grandmother this will make you feel more secure to know the police are aware of this man. It could be possible another parent may have had this happened this also.It will help you and police can also be aware and ride around your area to see if he is doing this elsewhere too. I charge ANGELS around you and your faimly and Jesus will protect you hon. God Bless and may you have peace in your heart. LOL - She!!!

For me that is too much info being asked for the first meeting.

Go online and check out the registry of sex offenders.

Always go with your gut, if the guy makes you feel uneasy then be on the safe side. Have a talk with the whole family about strangers and what they could do- steal your identy, hurt someone, or case the place to steal stuff.

I would be concerned too! The only option you have to explain to your son that their are people that mean him harm and maybe that guy was one of them and he is not to talk or approach the man if he comes back. Tell him to run inside or yell for help.

That seams weird to me! Also, since he could easily figure out what school your son goes to based on your address, I would make a password that only you and your son know that whoever picks him up from school has to know or he doesn't go with them!

Continue to pray for protection over your home and family.
God Bless you

Heather,

I got a very uneasy feeling when I read your note. I say trust your instincts- and keep an eye out for the guy from now on.
Also- if you google the FDLE website (Florida Dept. of Law Enforcement) you'll see that they have registered sexual offenders listed. You can put in your area code and specify that you'd like to see the offenders living in your area (within one mile, two, three or more). Take a good look- see if his face pops up. If it does, you might want to contact the police and let them know he was in your neighborhood. I don't mean to alarm you- but you can't be too careful in a diverse and crowded area like South Florida.

We can never be to careful with our children!!! While his image is still fresh in your mind...write down everything and I mean everthing about this man. His height, weight, build, hair and eye color, scars, tatoos, color of skin, did he have an accent, did he walk with a limp, how old do you think he was, what direction did he come from and what direction did he go. Absolutely everyting!!!! I believe that women have a 6th sense and once it goes off...LISTEN TO IT...take action...don't be polite. Your safety and the safety of your children are more improtant than his man's feelings!! What's done is done, you can't go back so you watch your kids like a hawk...all the time. You burn this man's face in you mind.
If your son see's this man again...tell his to RUN!! Strangers are not monsters, they look just like you and me. Tell your neighbor's...Living in Florida...we can never be too careful!

To tell you the truth, I'd be a little weirded out too. Did the guy give HIS name? I may one-up you one the paranoia front, but I have actually looked up the sex offender lists for my neighborhood. (When I moved into my house, I actually got one of those notices that say "there is a sex offender moving into the neighborhood."... 2 streets over)You can see pictures of the offenders that live and work in a certain radius. It will freak you out, but I would rather know. http://offender.fdle.state.fl.us/offender/Search.jsp
If you run into this guy again, get HIS info.
I think in this day and age we do not trust our instincts enough. We are too civilized and thus silence that voice inside us that tries to protect us. The thing I hear victims say so many times is that they did not follow their instincts. (one of them being some one very dear to me)
Bottom line... I'd rather be embarrassed and safe than be a polite victim.

Good luck and God bless, Heather.
H.

I would be concerned too, but do not let it get the best of you. I am a worrier by nature(and nurture, unfortunately) so I can empathize with how you are feeling. I would just keep a careful eye out and be suspicious of anything or anyone that looks out of the ordinary, and if you see any more suspicious people casing your neighborhood, especially kids, call your local non-emergency number to have an officer come out and scope out the area or individual(s) in question. Just try not to let it ruin your day, just keep your kids very close because, as sad as it is to admit, you can never be too cautious in this day and age. I hope you will take a deep breath and try and relax a little. Good luck;)

Sorry to hear about this. I am sure y are very worried...it is very difficult nowdays to distinguish and act on such situations since we hear so many horrible stories and at the same time we know there is still nice people out there. But I think is better to be proactive and overprotective and then discover that it is nothing at the end. You did right talking with your son...talk frequently they sometimes forget. I would keep my eyes open (for a long time) and also would let my neighbords know what happened. They can be very helpful when y are not around. Ask them if anyone had the same situation; compare cases. I would also comment that to my son's teacher so they are aware in case. I have cameras all around and inside my home so I can, as I please, to check online on my baby and surroundings. It is about a $2000 investment, but for me it is worth. Good luck and have faith!

Its time for women to be more assertive. After the first two questions it was time for you to ask him questions. You are your son's mom and he expects you to protect him. If this guy could ask your son questions you then should have asked where do you live? what is your name, you should have taken your son inside and then call the police to check him out. Two questions would have been my limit. Where was this guy heading? A sicko would not say Hi good morning I am checking your son out and I need to know a little about him, No he will try other things. So to carry on with your life without living in fear that he may comeback how about meeting with your nearest Law Eforcement precint and just telling them your experience. Let them decide what should be done. You never know there may be other people in the neighorhood who may have the same experience.
V. G.S.

Your story sounds scary even to me, and I usually don't scare easily. You have every right to be worried - I would be too. I don't really have any advice but just wanted to let you know that I read your entry and can only imagine how you must be feeling. Like you said, you should DEFINITELY keep an eye on your son at all times, as well as be on the lookout for that stranger. If you remember what he looks like, it might not be a bad idea to contact your local police to see if you can look through their sex offender records to see if you recognize the man, or perhaps even see if they will take a description of him from you. Also, next time try to get some information from the person who approaches you or your family - their name, where they live, what they do for a living, how long they've been in the area, etc.
I pray that God gives you the wisdom, boldness, and soundness of mind to figure out how to best handle this situation and what to make of it. Usually, if you get an uneasy feeling about something or someone, it's usually NOT without cause, so be cautious.

Heather,

Here is a website that you can go to, you type in your address for preditors. Take a look, it is wonderful, they even offer raes for home security. I suggest this for your peace of mind.

God Bless you and pray all turns out ok.

Family Watchdog LLC (www.familywatchdog.us), the country's foremost expert and source for sex offender information, in collaboration with mobile application developer HandStorm, Inc. (www.HandStorm.com), today announced the launch of StaySafe, the first application to deliver sex offender registry information to mobile devices in real-time. With Family Watchdog's extensive database of registered sex offenders, consumers now have quick access to information about offenders in their area and across the United States.

YES, BE WORRIED! I would have been suspicious from the first minute. If you can remember what he looked like enough I would call the police and give a description. Did he walk away in the direction he came from? If so, then he probably did have a car parked nearby. Speak with neighbors and ask if they've ever seen him, particularly ones with kids, too. Spread the word, you can NEVER be too safe when it comes to your kids safety. It's good that you had a talk with your son, but make sure he knows that what took place should not have. I come from a law enforcement background so my take may sound extreme, but I've seen what most have not and that makes me more suspicious. Make sure whenever you are outside of your house, whether in your car or standing in the front yard, keep an eye out for unknown cars, cars parked with a person sitting inside, or cars following you in your car. Hopefully it's nothing, but if it is, you should always be prepared and the rest of your family should know, too.

Wow I would be freaked out also! I do not think you are overreacting at all. The only thing I guess you can do at this point is to really press upon your son the aspect of strangers and to be very aware around your home and neighborhood. Do you have any contact with anyone on your local police force that you could maybe talk to about the different ways predators are contacting children these days? The way this guy approached you seems so bold but maybe that is a way to throw everyone off guard. Good luck and I hope you and yours stay safe.

I encourage you to give more attention to the creepy feeling. Maybe it was difficult to say what gave you the icky feeling, but you certainly stated it very well in your question/description.

Since you already have some great suggestions from other readers, I only add my recommendation for the book, "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. You can probably check it out from your local library. He is an expert on violence and wrote a very compelling book about "intuition"--which is a wonderful perception that we're often taught to undervalue or dismiss. His second book, "Protecting the Gift" is about how we teach our children to keep themselves safe. Excellent books that I often recommended to parents.

Dear Heather

I don't think your worries are exagerated at all. As you said, in this time and age nothing we do is too much to protect our children. I would be very bothered if it was me too.

Now I hope I don't freak you out more, but I think you should let your son's school know about this and stress that no one that calls or comes to the school is to get any info or is allowed to pick up your son from school.

The reason being is that he has all your info and can portray to be a friend of the family. Especially since he played with him and you guys together. I would also talk to my neighboors since someone might have seen all of you playing together and might also think the same.

Lastly even though you said you have talked to your son. I would definitely reinforce to him that the man is not a friend, taht he is still a stranger because you guys don't know anything about him or where he came from, and in case he encounters him at another time he is not to talk to him.

Hope this helps, "better safe than sorry".

M.

Wow, I would feel very un-easy about this and you are right to feel un-easy as well. First of all, I would sit down with your children and explain that the man is a stranger. Your son is too young to NOT understand that the man is a stranger no matter how much information he knows about him (name, address, mom and dad's name). Children often assume that just because someone knows their name that it must be okay to interact with them. Personally, unless it was someone I had seen in my neighborhood prior to this incident, I would not have carried on any kind of communication with this person...even if my husband was outside. While I do not consider myself to be someone who lives in fear, as an adult, I don't even open my own door to strangers. I certainly wouldn't have allowed this stranger to interact with my child either. My best advice is to now be extra cautious with your children. Make sure you NEVER leave them alone outside, as I'm sure you would agree that a 7 year old boy is too young to be left outside without adult supervision. I would most certainly explain to your son that the man he met is a stranger and that he is not allowed to talk to him without YOU or his daddy present and even so, I would be cautious not to allow more personal information to be exchanged. I would, however, in the event this stranger comes along again, ask him HIS name and where he lives. Talk to other neighbors and ask if they know about "so and so, who lives on such and such street." I live in a close neighborhood and we watch out for each other. Get your neighbors to watch out for this man. It could have all been very innocent but I err on the side of caution. Never let your guard down where your childrens safety and well being are concerned. I would also write down what you remember about this man and keep the info in a safe place. You never know if he really was up to no good and shows up on TV someday.

If you know any other moms in the neighborhood I would just be cautious and let them know as well. If you were really really obsessed you can check out the palm beach county sex offenders list for your area. I agree that's creepy , but as of now I'm sure its a little over thought. If he attends camp or anything just make sure to tell them that only you and hubby have right to pick him up and maybe give them a copy of both your photo id's for proof. Good luck and try to relax. Make sure all doors and windows are locked.

Hi Heather,

Consider this a learning experiance, and I would keep a close eye on my son the next few weeks.

In the future if you are feeling uncomfortable with a strangers questions, ask them some "Hi, I'm heather and your are?" "Do you live near here? Where?" "Do you have children?" etc... If they are on the up and up, they will honestly answer your questions without hesitation, nor be offended by you being protective of your child. There are some just honestly nice people out there, and there are creeps.

Hopefully your fears will not pan out. While the memory is still fresh I would write down his description and what he was wearing, the time of the incident, etc... because the memory details fade. This person may have just been nice, but if not you want to be able to report all you know. If any other children in your area "disappear" I would let the police know of this incident.

If you go onto JSO website you can also view the sex offenders in your area. If the man who approached you is on that website, report the incident to the police right away.

Good luck

Yikes. I hear your concern and I would be also. It would be great to assume this is just anice guy helping a kid out & having some fun with a family. But, sadly we live in a world where there are so many other motives. Try not to consume yourself with worry but don't let your guard down either. This person could be watching your husband leave & come home and get his schedule knowing you are home with the children. So, keep aware of your surroundings and if possible, do your playing in the back yard.

I would be very worried too. The only thing I can think of is try to find a website that shows predators in your neighborhood. Also talk to your son and make it clear that if he is to see that man again to not talk to him and avoid him. You also might want to talk to his teachers. But most importantly make sure your son doesnt see him again and feel that guys is a friend.

My first step would be to report him and talk to as many neighbors as possible about him. Keep your doors locked at all times and make sure your son understands he is never to go anywhere with or talk to strangers for that matter. Your son shouldn't have even answered those questions to a stranger even if you were there. That is personal info that a stranger should not be privy to.

Freaky! I'd definelty beware!

Spread the word. Talk to your neighbors so they can also be on the loockout. Describe the man as best you can and ask them to be careful with their children. Stay with them at all times when they are outside. Teach your children not to talk to strangers. They often think that because you talk to other people (in line at the supermarket or the bank), that these people are your friends. Don't let anyone tell you you're being paranoid. Better safe than sorry.

Ugh, call the local police and ask them if you should be concerned. I wouldn't be sleeping either.

I probably would have gone inside or not let my son tell him anything, but since you did, I would stay very aware and also maybe even call the police station and tell them what happened. I would also update your signout list for his school or camp and make sure it is specific on who can pick him up. Don't let yourself get too crazy but he definitely needs to know stranger danger or you should have said to your son "ask him what his name is" so you could have felt out the situation to see if the man was honest. Anyways stay calm but I wouldn't let him out of your sight especially outside. That was too weird for him to just appear, somethings fishy. LisaM

Did you even confront the man and ask HIS name and address? I would have chased him off. And your husband just watched all of this? I think it a good idea to talk openly with your son about the incident and let him know that if/when he ever sees that man again, he is not to talk with him, go with him, or let him lay a hand on him; but run right home.
Keep your alarm on, esp. at night; and have your son play in the backyard where you can keep an eye on him. Better yet, have you called the police to speak with them? As the description is probably still fresh in your mind, let them know about the incident and get their assistance. He may have approached other kids in the area and the police are looking for him...

Could have been a kind old man, but perhaps not.
Blessings, S.

I agree with the moms here. I've had a child hurt by a predator before. It is your worst nightmare. My child is fine and well adjusted despite what happened to them many years ago, but always trust those instincts.

Child predators are very charming people in most cases, handsome or beautiful with a kind disposition so you would think. They will gain your trust and that of your child all the while scheming on how best to get your child alone to do them harm to satisfy their sick minds.

My child is a survior and they are my hero because they were able to place their abuser behind bars.

Trust me mom, those little feelings ARE for a reason like everyone says.

You should email yourself a description of this person so you will never forget little details, maybe a tattoo or facial scar or some other recognizable thing about them, maybe an accent or freckle or mole?

Then if your area has a neighborhood website or a homeowners association talk with them about this experience and the local police. I'm sure if they are a good person they will understand you are more concerned with child safety than their pride.

I had a man come up to me in a Walmart once in Kansas when we were passing through and my son was with me. A man approached him and like your unexpected stranger targeted all questions to my son and even asked him (my son) if he (the man) would like for him (the man) to buy my son a video game. I grabbed my son and went to tell an employee what happened. They called the manager and the man ran out of the store. Talk about CREEPY!!!!!! My husband checked his rear view mirrors to make sure we weren't being followed. It was strange and very scary.

You are not paranoid. Your a mom. It's our job to protect our children from predators!

I don't think your crazy at all! The only thing I do think is that maybe your radar didn't go off soon enough because of your husband being around and all. I would have never let my son give that much information to a stranger. He seemed creepy to me and way too persistant. Maybe you can have a talk with your son about strangers and your family and decided on an action plan for if this ever happens again. I might have told the guy that I don't let my son give out that kind of info to strangers and if that offends him then sorry but you can never be too careful these days and let that be that and if he continued then I would have said goodbye to him. I don't want to worry you any more than you already are but he has way too much info now for comfort. I would report him if I were you to the local authorities and give a full description of him as well! I would do this asap so that all of the info is still fresh for you and you can give a good description! I know it was a sticky situation and it is always easier to be on the outside looking in on giving suggestions but I guess I am just really funny about my kids and who they talk to, not to say that i am not friendly and don't talk to strangers but I wouldn't give out that kind of info to someone acting like he did. Please don't take me as getting on to you but do think about this more and come up with a plan for your family on how to handle this in the future and don't ever give that info out to anyone you don't know.