Question About the "Babywise" Method of Sleep and Eat Routine

I must warn you about using the methods in this book. Please read some of the warnings online:

http://www.ezzo.info/Articles/chickering.htm
http://www.ezzo.info/Articles/bw2001review.htm
http://dir.salon.com/story/mwt/feature/1998/08/06/cov_06f...
http://www.tulipgirl.com/mt/archives/000285.html

I've not heard much good about Babywise. Maybe you should check out the websites below.
Lots of cases of failure to thrive. We never had set schedule for my children as babies, but when they were about 6 months we started putting them on one. Mine are 2 and 3 and they still keep a very good schedule, even when they're not with me. They just know. I am a very "go with the flow" kind of person (I have to be, my husband is in the military) and it worked best for me to just go with the flow and enjoy every minute of my baby, because it doesn't last long.....:(

Baby wise is a damaging book.
Especially to the relationship of you and your child.

I urge you to research the implications brought on by this book and re-evaluate your system.

I think you're doing the right thing. Eventually he will start getting up around the same time. Sleep while you can while on leave. When you go back to work, he'll easily fall into a new schedule. I used babywise with all three of my kids and loved the outcome! They slept through the night at 9 weeks, 13 weeks, and, 10 weeks. Happy sleeping!

I read Babywise. I agree with the pp's- it's MUCH too rigid for a newborn. Small babies need to eat way more often than every 3 hours- I'd say every hour or two.
At that age, a "want" is a "need" if baby wants to eat, then they need to eat. Same with sleeping, and especially with being held and loved and cuddled.
It makes zero sense to wake up a sleeping baby to keep him on a schedule that has been implicated in numerous cases of failure to thrive.
BW also sets a dangerous precedent in the relationship between you and your child. Seeing your child as manipulative sets you and your child up for SO much grief in the first few years, and beyond. They aren't manipulative. They are people. They have their own needs, desires and thoughts that deserve respect. Why not work with your baby, work together, instead of having a "me vs. him" relationship?

Please check out ezzo.info about the author of this book. He has had to stop saying what he wrote, for the safety of babies everywhere. If you can stop and think about it, that book really teaches you to see the baby as a blob who is trying to manipulate you. This is insane!!!! Your baby was designed by God to cry so that his mommy will come and meet his needs. Your baby needs to trust you and feel that you answer his cry. Please listen to your instincts and throw this book in the trash!

I just wanted to let you know that the author of baby wise wa kicked out of his church because most of the babies put on his schedule ended up diagnosed with "failure to thrive" (worse than just under weight). Just something to think about for all the moms out there who think that this book is a good idea and that eating just 4 times a day is enough (do the math, if they sleep 12 hours through the night and eat every 3 hours during the day, they eat only 4 times).
PM me for a list of books that don't have a history of malnourished babies.

I have to respond because I am so tired of people asking for specific help in this area on this site, and all you get is all the critics that have never tried the method, and if they did and their child failed to thrive then they didn't read the part of the book that explains how you have to do what works for your child!!!!!!!!!!!! A child will wake up and eat when it wants to and my daughter still woke up throughout the night for awhile, but she would go right back to sleep in her bassinet even if she was wide awake. She didn't start sleeping completely throughout the night until about 4 months.

Anyhow, with that being said, I started Babywise when my daughter was 4 weeks old and it immediately helped, but I was way too tired to stay up after the first feeding, so I cheated and went back to bed, but overall she ws on a schedule and it worked. When I went to work when she was 3.5 months she really started to get into a schedule. She wakes up at 6:15am EVERY morning without us waking her and we hear her over the monitor doing her baby talknig and playing. It is too cute! Anyhow, the only down side to this is that she wakes up the same time on the weekends too! But it is worth having her sleep through the night :)

If you have time to read the book "The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" I would suggest it. I skimmed through "Babywise" after reading the Baby Whiperer and they are the same basic idea, but the Whisperer book is a little more reader friendly. It also allows more for you to be in tune with yourself and your child. I agree with the comment to take parts of books and use the parts that fit with you and your child. A really good "trilogy" that worked for me was: "What to Expect the First Year," "The Secrets of the Baby WHisperer, " and "Happiest Baby on the Block".

Don't let these people scare you about using the routine in the book. Having a routine is good for a baby. And it's good for MOMMY!!!! Don't underestimate the importance of that!!!

Unless you are going back to work or need a set morning schedule, I wouldn't worry about having a set start time for your routine. SOmetimes your baby could be going through a growth spurt and need a little extra time. Just start the pattern when you wake up.

Good luck!

that's exactly what i did with my two kids. whenever they woke up, i started my routine. if it was 6 am, they usually went back to sleep, though. do you try putting your son back to bed after feeding him when he wakes at that hour? if you feel tired, don't feel bad about doing that. don't get too hung up on following a schedule to a tee. sometimes flexibility is required! both my kids ended up waking up at the same time each morning after a while. i guess they like routines just as much as i do :)
good luck and God bless!
J. b

A. - Congrats on a sweet little baby boy! Keep reading, I will get back to your question, I just need to vent for a moment...I have to second what Colleen was saying! Babywise will work if you always DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR CHILD. Yes, they will get hungry early sometimes, so go ahead and feed them early! Yes, they need to be loved, cuddled, rocked, talked to, held, kissed, played with, etc. No where in the book does it say you should not do any of those things. My sister-in-law demand fed her kids and they still didn't gain weight properly. Sometimes it's just the way the child is or there are other health issues involved. It is sad to see people blaming this book for their child not gaining weight. Use common sense when it comes to all of it and use the parts of the book that work for you. It is a guide, you are the parent. Just sticking with a basic schedule though is great and it is freeing for you and baby. So, A., I'm saying all of this to tell you that Babywise can be great and it worked for both of my kids and they are happy and healthy and great sleepers. I did do the first wake time thing with both girls within 1/2 hour each morning. For example...the first wake time may be 6:30 so it's okay if it's 6 or 7 sometimes as long as it is within 1/2 hour of your planned time. I have to admit in the early days I would sometimes go back to sleep with my first baby if I was extra tired, but MOST of the time I stuck to that first feeding. I did set my alarm. Someone else mentioned that their baby would wake on their own happy and talking and you could hear it on the monitor...SO TRUE! Both my girls wake up happy still and it is music to my ears. It sounds like you are a wonderful new mommy and this little guy is blessed. Take care and thanks for letting me vent while I responded. God bless you with your new little one!

We too used the babywise method and had our daughter sleeping through the night at nine weeks - it was glorious - not only for her to get the amount of sleep she should be getting, but it gave my husband and I some time at night together which is so important.

Our first feeding was pretty loose. I certainly didn't want to be overly strict about the time and never set an alarm, but I did want to maintain an overall daily schedule of nap and feeding so we could establish a routine. She would wake up anywhere between 7-8:30 and I'd go from there. This worked really well when on maternity leave. This also meant we might be off our schedule by :30 or :45 minutes from the schedule we were trying to establish, but you do have to be flexible and you want your child to learn to be flexible otherwise you'll go crazy and never be able to leave your house.

Good luck!

Congratulations on your baby! :) I've thumbed through Babywise; but never really followed anything in the book. However, one piece of advice that was given to me by my father-in-law (who works with kids in a specialized medical field) was that a schedule is the only thing a baby has. If you get on a regular schedule; then the baby will know what to expect. It doesn't have to be down to the minute; however, it shouldn't be wide open either. We've used schedules with both of our daughters (we were sort of forced into using them for our first daughter b/c she was in Good Sam's & Children's NICUs for the first 2.5 weeks of her life). Some of my friends are amazed that both of our daughters (oldest - almost three and youngest - almost nine months) go to bed so early (7:30-8:00 p.m.) and have slept through the night at a very young age. As for the first feeding, I agree with the woman who said to follow the baby now and eventually, they will start waking up around the same time each day. It probably won't take long before you notice this. Once that happens, things will all fall into place. GOOD LUCK!!!

My best advice is to go with the flow. He is still really young and I have learned that waking up a sleeping baby is never a good idea. He will soon establish his own routine and you should just go with what he wants at the moment. I remember reading that book with my son a couple years ago and it just made me nuts trying to figure out what I should do. I did wake him up one time to feed him and I never did it again b/c he was so upset. Basically right now while he is so young you just need to go with the flow and you will see in time that he will make his own routine and then it will be like clockwork. That is he way my son is now at 21 months...he is like clockwork so just relax and enjoy..don't worry too much about routine right now.

I used the "Momwise" method of sleeping and eating.

I let my babies sleep when they're tired and eat when they're hungry.

Works marvelously and comes straight from nature, no pseudo-doctors required!

Unless it is causing you or your baby stress, don't worry about setting a routine wake-up time. And by all means, yes, go back to sleep after the first feeding. I always did and the extra couple hours of sleep helped me so much! And it never seemed to bother my daughter either, or mess up her schedule.

I followed the Babywise method from the day my daughter was born and it has been great. She is a wonderful sleeper, a happy baby (now toddler), and by no means emotionally or physically neglected or harmed. Nor did she fail to thrive!

I found that by the time I went back to work (when she was 9 or 10 weeks) she fell into her own pattern of sleeping through the night and waking around the same time each morning.

I am not familiar with the Babywise method but I do not see any problem with getting a baby on a schedule. Each baby is different so I suggest trying a schedule and see how you child takes to it. My son has been on a schedule since he was 7 weeks old. My husband and I both work full time and we found it important to get him on a schedule so the babysitter knew what to expect. We wake him at 6:00 during the week for his first bottle. He then eats at 10, 2, 5:30 and last bottle is at 8:30 then he is down for the night. Your little one is still young and may need to eat a little more often. As my son got older and started sleeping longer we would adjust the schedule. On the weekends we let him sleep in and then we adjust throughout the day. The schedule has helped us tremendously. Our son is in a good routine and he gets enough to eat during the day so he sleeps all night. It also helps us to spend time as a family. We can go do things and know when he will need to eat and not wonder how much food to pack or if we will need to stop in the middle of something to feed him. You can always try it and if it doesn't work for you go back to letting him set his own schedule. Good luck!

first off let me say CONGRADULATIONS!!! babies are such a blessing. with my kids i didn't start setting schedules until they were 3-4 mo. old and i watched and wrote down the times they ate and slept to get an idea of how i could start working slowing remolding their schedule. my daughter is 6 1/2 mo. old now and i let her get up when she wants in the morning and i get her breakfast ready usually she has a first wake up call at 5am and afterwards i let her go back to bed and she's up again about 730-8am, then she has regular formula and about an hour or so later i can see she's ready for another nap. the longest we can keep her up is 2 1/2 hours, after that she is just very cranky. we let her sleep as much as she wants during the day. her pediatrician said that babies & children gorw more when they are sleeping & resting than any other time. all children are different and you should talk to your baby's doctor to make sure this book & schedule are for him. most baby books are just out there to make money & do more harm than good for your child. good luck & god bless!

Amy,
Hello! Congratulations on the birth of your son! It is truly an amazing time in your life, and watching him grow up!:)I too am a first time mom, and am using the Babywise method of establishing a routine. It was easy for me since unfortunately my daughter was in the NICU at Comm. North hospital, she was on a set eating routine for those three weeks. Although she is just now a year she is still on a three hour routine. To answer your question, she has gotten used to eating at between 7:30am-8am, and so she wakes herself up. At the beginning, I did set the alarm to wake her up so she was getting the nutrition that she needed. After her feeding, we have 'wake time' which she gets to play with her toys and we play on the floor on her tummy. She has been sleeping through the night, and wakes up with smiles on her face which is so precious. She is a happy baby and loves to cuddle. Babywise has been wonderful for us, and does work. I am sorry that some people don't like it, and have not had good experiences with it.
Does this make sense?
K.

Good for you Amy! I think that Babywise is wonderful. I started using it with my son at 8 weeks and have never regretted it. I know that it is not for everyone but don't let them discourage you. You are doing the right thing. As for the first feeding, I never set one, I just let it be whenever he woke up we started the 3 hour cycle. At some point I began a "I am not going to get up until 8" rule. I can;t exactly remember when that was though. Good luck!

As for as the first feeding in the am keep your child up for at least 10 to 15 minutes than let him go to sleep if wanted. After each daily feeding do the same. At night feed him and put him right back to bed. This is so he will know his days from his nights. My first am feeding started at around 5:30. Good luck

I have 2 daughters and with my first one I tried some of the Babywise techniques. With my second daughter, we have instead totally gone by her lead. This approach has led to so much more joy, has helped me to relax and be in tune to her needs rather than a clock. With Babywise I felt so pressured to look at a clock, confused what to do in between feedings if she seemed hungry, and tense about getting it all right (I realize this may be my personality type). Instead of using my intuition to connect with her, I used the "authority" of the book.

Now, as I said, with my second daughter we are so much more relaxed and enjoying each other as I seek to use her cues to guide our feeding times. This helps me to really connect with her more.

I share all this b/c I've seen a lot of my friends get very focused on the Babywise approach and lose a lot of the joy in feeding and nurturing their babies (just like I did).

I know this is not what you asked for, but I just wanted to ask you if this approach is working for you as far as establishing a real peace between you and your sweet little boy?

If things are working fine so far, why change them???

i just fed her when she woke up and started the three hour cycle from there. and it wasn't always 3 hours, sometimes it was 2 1/2 or 3 1/2... i think the important thing is the routine of eating right when you wake up. (rather than nursing to sleep) anyway, after a while we really settled into a routine and she started waking up about the same time. i think it's important to have complete sleep cycles, so probably a good idea to let him wake up when he's ready, rather than you disrupting his sleep. he might sleep longer that way too... ;) my daughter was sleeping through the night starting around 8 weeks, and has ever since!!! hopefully your little guy will too...

Hi A.... I did the Babywise method with both of my boys and really liked it. The key is, however, don't go word for word by the book. Take the basic concept and learn your child's cues and fit it into your life. No one can be perfect to any book. Don't worry about a certain "set" first morning feeding. Feed when they wake and move thru your day starting from that. Setting an alarm seems crazy to me. :) If that first feeding is REALLY early (to me that's before 6:30 or 7:00), we would go back to sleep for a bit. Realize though, when there's other children that is almost impossible :). Be flexible.. learn your baby's cues and ENJOY each other!