Question for Moms with (Elementary) School Aged Boys???????

He is 7. Give the kid a break.
You can't tell a kid to pick up his room and expect it to get done. You need to issue small tasks - make your bed, pick up the legos, etc.
As for the asking 20 times - you need to nip that now. Tell him that if you are speaking to someone else, he needs to wait. If you are on the phone, he needs to wait. He needs to say, "mom, excuse me." I hold one finger up to let them know I'll be with them shortly. He needs to wait patiently unless someone is bleeding profusely - a papercut doesn't count.
My attitude is this:
School first - get your A. Helping others - as long as they help when asked outside the home, I'm good. If someone asks them to stack chairs, they do it - no question. If someone asks them to pick up a piece of paper from the floor, they do it. If I ask them to take out the trash I may have to remind a couple of times. But really - it's fine. My kids rooms are a mess. I shut the door. They are involved in many school activities and they get straight As. They seem irresponsible at times, but when you step back and take a good look, the rest of the world sees them as mighty responsible....
YMMV
LBC

7 yrs old is still pretty young. He sounds like he's doing really great. Make sure you have his full attention before giving him instructions (keep them fairly simple), then ask him to repeat what you just said and follow up with 'Do you understand' or 'Do you have any questions'? then 'Tell me when you are finished' and communication will improve. My son is 11 and just now is getting good with taking the trash out without being asked. If he's busy reading a good story or playing, he won't hear what I'm saying to him unless I get him to put the book/toy down first.

I also have a 7 yr old son (he is the eldest of 3) , and he is exactly like this. I think it's a male thing to a certain extent, his 4 yr old sister can do stuff for herself that he won't even attempt to do for himself , and she kind of mothers him aswell , even his 2 yr old sister runs off to find his shoes!!

The PP suggested making sure you have his full attention before giving instructions , that is a good idea , I have had to start doing that , because at the end of the day we have to remember that no male can mulit task , they are not like females where we can do lot's at the same time , very frustrating for us I know but to a degree they do need to be mothered differently.

You are describing my son! He's my youngest though. I can ask him to go into the next room and grab something, he goes, gets distracted and when he comes back and I say Where is it? he has no idea what I'm talking about! Frustrating. The only thing I can say to try is to make sure that when you ask, you and your son are looking right at each other so that he's focused. It's tough. And I hate to tell you, but my son is almost 10 now and still has these tendendencies. Smart, great reader, but forgets to bring things home from school, etc. I'm curious to read other responses on here because I've been dealing with this same issue! I can tell you that when I tell stories about him, I always get the "He's a boy!" response.

Remember he is a little man. He is still learning.
You might want to have his hearing checked.

Sometimes if the TV is on or radio they can't focus on you because of the distraction.

Other than that, for me he is a male and men/boys they hear us talking/they hear the sound of our voice talking to them but they don't hear what we are saying/they don't hear the words.

It's normal.
= )

All good suggestions.. The only thing I will add is to sometimes, if his eyes look glazed over when you speak to him, is ask him to repeat what you just asked. Or ask him, "What are you going to do now?" This will help to assure you he really heard you.

I'll be reading your responses because I have a 7 yr old son too and there are times that I think I must be speaking just to hear myself talk. :)
He does great in school, gets all 5's ( highest star ) and is a very happy go lucky little boy. But there are times I tell him to put his trash in the trash bin or pick up his toys and he just acts like I'm asking him to put on a new roof or paint the whole house; he acts like its the biggest chore ever!
His room? Ugh. I don't want to go there either. My rule for his room is " your friends are not allowed over to play if your room is a mess" .....so he will clean it if he wants company.
I know its frustrating at times, I'll keep looking for tips too.
Good luck.

That's funny, sounds like what my daughter was like at that age. I wouldn't be so quick to think it's normal "boy" behavior. Some kids may act this way, but it's not "normal boy" stuff. My son did everything he was told immediately, cleaned up after his older sister and noticed anything that needed to be done. It was my daughter who had no attention to detail. I would have him make himself a chart of what he needs to do each day, have him repeat a direction that you've given him, and I made my daughter earn her privileges - if everything on that list wasn't done, no t.v. or time with friends the next day. If you constantly remind them of things, all day every day, they will not learn to do it for themselves. They will always rely on you. Also let him suffer the natural consequences of things - room not tidy, then no playdate on the weekend; "forgot" to bring something to school, mom charges $3 for a drive.

K.,
that is so funny, as I was reading your post I was thinking to myself, he is probably very smart too, and then I read that he has all A's in school. It sounds like you are talking about my boys! do you know them? lol, I think you live too far away to know them :)
My boys are the same way, and they are not 10 and almost 12. The same issues you have I had at that age and now!!! So, breath in and out, relax, ignore them at times if you can, and keep on going. I'm no expert at this, but I would say it might be a boy's thing. My boys are very smart, just like yours, with A's all the time but lazy as lazy can be. I even took my oldest at around that same age as yours to get his ears tested because my mother said he had some ear problem that he couldn't hear us calling him when watching TV!!! Needless to say there was NOTHING wrong with him!!!
So, don't give up girl, pray and take it easy!
Blessings

My kids aren't that age yet, so I don't know if that is normal. But, I would definitely start working on him becoming more responsible. Maybe read Love and Logic? It has some great insight on how to make kids more responsible.

My husband sounds like your son and although I have no idea what it was like for him growing up....he had a 13 yr old brother when I met him. OMG, he would "forget" to do things his mom would ask him to do. At 21 he still leaves his bedroom light on when he leaves the house. His mom cleans his bedroom when he leaves after the weekend is over. Not for sure, but I'm guessing that is how it was when my husband lived there.

So....I am hoping I can make my son very responsible so he won't be so hard on his wife (many years in the future) like my husband and his brothers are to their wives and girlfriends!

I have 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls. I can tell you that I don't think it's a gender thing and unfortunately, it may not get much better for awhile - didn't want to hear that, did ya! LOL!
My oldest who's 11 now, will be told to pick up his hat three times, he'll do it, then just move it into a different room, to a different floor. Unbelievable. HE'S 11!!! I've established the three strikes rule. If I have to tell you to pick up something three times, it's gone. Usually it's in a box in the office and they may not even miss it, but at least I don't have to keep looking at it. My kids are older, so I've had to resort to this. I really like the suggestions regarding getting his full attention before you tell him something. Have him repeat it. That usually is a much more effective way.
If it makes you feel any better, I've recently read information on gifted children. I now have three kids in the TAG program. This can be a trait of theirs....absent-mindedness. Their brains are always "on", but not tuned to the channel YOU may want. Try the intentional requests - looking him in the eye and having him repeat what you said. If that's not working, you may have to implement, "If this is not done, this will happen" technique if it's things that he should be perfectly capable of handling. However, he's young and a good kid, so try not to get too frusterated with him. Good luck!!

Holy Cow!!! Did I write that???!!! LOL Seriously, you've described my son (7) to the letter. I always say he needs his own personal assistant. I don't remember applying for the position, yet I seem to have got it! LOL Some examples:
1. He finished first grade last week (straight A's) and let me tell you, every single paper and worksheet (and you know that's like 10 per day) came home in a wad in his backpack. There was O. day where his papers were stacked and in his folder. Seriously. Sigh.
2. He can lose an object in 20 seconds. When we're leaving the house, he'll say "Wait, I want to get my XYZ to bring in the car...." Goes to retrieve it and by the time he walks to the basement....poof! Gone.
3. He is a JUNK collector and a collector of everything! Baseball cards, football cards, Smencils, squishys, silly bandz, bobble heads, and everything else on the planet! And, guess what? He likes to "display" his collections. Sigh.

Anyway, you are definitely not alone and I got some assurance after reading your other responses that I'm not either!

Hi. It seems all of us are sharing the same son(lol). It's just distraction or selective hearing. My son can hear me talk about him if I am whispering and on the other side of the house. But he can't hear me say please clean up your mess when I am standing infront of him. It can make you crazy. When he finally does hear me he'll go in his room to pick up and can be gone for a 1/2 hour and I go check on him, room still a mess, and he got distracted and started to play with something. I hope like the other mommas said he will grow out of it. Be patient momma we will have funny stories to tell our son's girlfriends when they get older!!!!

K.,

I hear you about your son! My son is 7 years old too. Also extremly smart and a great reader. That being said he is very irresponsible with his personal things and his tasks at home. If I am not standing over him saying do this and do that, it does not get done.
This is what we do (not always great at it but still trying!) We have a chart it lets our son know what is expected of him. He can look at it and see what HE has to do. It could be bed making, toy pick up putting dirty clothes in the laudry and so on.
At the end of the day we go through the house with a laundry basket and anything he has not picked up and put away goes into the basket and is donated to less fortunate people. He understands what that means and has had to give up some things that he truely liked.
At first we were donating a lot of things, now we donate less and less.
The same rules apply to my 6 year old daughter, though she rarely ever has to be told twice. I think she learned watching us do it to him.

Good luck and remember he is 7 and still learning. I am sure at some point he will be self- motivated.

K.,
He is definitely a boy. I am not sure why some boys have such a lazy attitude but my son had it and I must say I was very tired of it by age 7. He is now almost 11 and i have seen a change but not as great as I would like to see but he will come around just keep up what are you doing in reminding him and telling him stuff over and over again, and trust I know how tired you are.
Also making a schedule will teach him some self responsibility. Remind him of his responsibilities as they are listed on the chart...eventually he will keep track of the chart on his own...
Good Luck! And know that it will change it just takes time

Make a chart of what has to be done. at 7 he can read simple things
example
daily chart for 7 yr old
make bed
have breakfast
brush teeth
get dressed
1 or 2 chores of your choice (our sons emptied garbage and fed dog)
play time (lots of time)
reading time (shorter time)
tv time (shortest time of all)
bath
ready for bed

these should be daily things. we also had the boys clear their spots at the dinner table and help sweep up. run vaccuum etc
by 8 yrs my sons could help sort laundry and load the dishwasher. by 10 they could clean the bathroom and
as for the asking a million times the same thing. give the answer one time. then again a second time but no more. also don't ask him to do the same job over and over. just cleary state the required action and the consequence of not doing it (ex. reading not done? no tv, garbage not out oh boy no video game, oh your beds not made sorry you can't go outside till it is) and don't tie allowance into any of the jobs. household work is for the good of the family. allowance is because your part of the family. tie up privileges into the allowance thing.