Question - to All WORKING Moms with 3 Year Olds

We have a 9 PM bedtime as well, which usually means it's around 9:30 or 10 before they're asleep. My guys at that age would often want to sleep in weird places...on the floor of their room, or in their doorway, halfway in the hallway and halfway in their room. We'd let them fall asleep anywhere they wanted in or near their room.

Both of my kids (ages 7 and 4) go to bed at 9 pm, whether it's summer or school year. I don't get home from work until 6pm so I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. :)

My 2.5 year old boys also go to bed around 9:00. I am completely exhausted by the end of the day, but that's the schedule that works for us. It used to be 7:00 when they were littler, but as this school year went by the time was pushed later and later. We had it at 8:00 for awhile, but they wouldn't settle down and were crying, playing, and screaming. So, I tried 9:00 and it's been smooth sailing ever since.

Being a 2nd shift mom, my daughter (2yrs old) goes to bed around 11:30pm, sometimes midnight, sometimes she will fall asleep in the car on the way home from daycare. She is a decent sleeper. We get up around 10am, eat breakfast, play, shower, depending on the day, we eat lunch about 12:30 or sometimes not until 1:30 when she goes to daycare.

I feel bad, because right now I can't work another shift. And I only get to spend about 4 waking hours with her a day, until the weekend. Unless I have to work a saturday. Then the only day I get is Sunday and that is time for cleaning and laundry too. I always said daycare won't raise my daughter, but right now I have no other choice, and it sucks.

My toddler goes to bed at 8pm. But that does not mean he goes to sleep. I would say he stays in his room for at least an hour to an hour and half before actually sleeping. He has a couple of toys he is allowed to play with, a nightlight that is on a timer. When nightlight turns of.. he stops playing and just chats to himself or sings to the soft music until he sleeps (I listen to him on the monitor.. hehe!). Here is what works for me. You can try this or switch it up as it fits your lifestyle.

If you get home @ 5:30, get settled for a few min, have your coffee break.

Take toddler for a long stroll around the neighborhood, show him stuff - trees, cars, rocks, birds etc, or let him be active for 1 hour, at the park or wherever he likes to play. And let him play HARD... run around, swing, slide..

Can your spouse take kid while you do cooking or visa versa? Swop every other night to give each other a break. Point is he/she needs to be tired to go to sleep, so an hour of hard play is good for both the kid and parent :-)

Nice warm bath (after dinner) PJ's, Favorite blankie, some winding down, maybe watching his fav DVD.. dont put a fun vid like toy story.. put a sloooow movie, maybe junglebook or elmo. Something to wind him down for 20 min. Or straight to bed, with soft music and a bed time story.

A kiss and hug and I love you... and remind him you are just outside the door and will come and "tuck him in" a little later. Leave. (you could put out a couple of toys he can play with quietly if he is that desperate, but tell him he needs to go Ni-Ni.

If you can afford a nightlight with a timer, get one. when the lights go out, say you set it for 15 min. He will get the message. He will cry for the first few nights, but when he gets used to the light turning off.. he will go to sleep. Look at Bed bath and beyond. They have one from Homedics.

Good luck.

I thought I was the only one. My kids go to bed at 9 but are still awake until around 10. That gives me 3 hours to spend with them, feed them, give them a bath and alll the rest. Other kids are in bed by 7! No way that would happen at my house.

I too have been having this struggle. Most ppl tell me that my daughter (3yr old) goes to bed to late 8:30PM-9PM but after getting home at 6PM homework, cooking dinner, eating, cleaning up & bath its impossible for her to get to bed any earlier. Now I know I'm not the only one & will ignore any remarks. Thanks for the great question & answer mama's.

My daughter is 3 and both my husband and I work full time.

We aim to start the bedtime routine at 7 p.m., with the goal to have her in bed by 7:30/7:45 p.m. Wake at 7 a.m.

That said, we usually get home around 5/5:30 p.m.

To help, I plan 30 min or less meals. Often I will cook the night before (if it's more involved) after our daughter goes to bed. Sometimes I cook on the weekends and reheat during the week. I also double batch when I can and freeze to essentially cut my cooking in half.

I also split the difference in the work day with my husband. I go to work later in the morning to allow my daughter to sleep later--I take her into day care. The hubby goes to work earlier and is able to pick her up from day care earlier. That helps to increase the amount of time we have to spend with her in the evenings.

Good luck, it's not easy.

J.:

You make an assumption about SAHMs....

We might have soccer, baseball, basketball or football practice that gets us home later...trying to get dinner on the table...homework done and the like.

Bedtime for my kids is 9PM. They wake up to alarms at 0730. they are allowed to turn their nightlight on and read a book for 30 minutes - any noise or fighting (though each has their own room) it's lights out.

If your son fights sleep - make sure the caffeine intake as well as sugar intake is none after 5PM...he can drink water or milk with dinner. the more you fight with them over sleep the worse it gets...

no tv, computer or games (xbox or gameboys, DS's, etc.) for 30 minutes prior to bed time either - it will take some doing but it WILL work out!!

GOOD LUCK!

BedTime is 8pm here....We start bedtime prep at 730- get in pjs, slow down a bit doing some puzzles or reading books, then brush teeth and get into bed. They usually eat dinner around 615/630 so yes, nights are rushed. We have an almost 4 yo and 2.5 yo- they are in the same room now which has its own issues. When we had sleep issues with our DD when she turned 3, we bought her a mini LED flashlight (because LED doesn't get warm) and allowed her to have books in her room....we allowed her to read to herself for a limited amount of time after prayers and songs if she said she wasn't tired. It worked great! Good luck !

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I am totally with you. I want to see my kid at the end of the day, and for both of us is worth putting the kid to bed a little later. Otherwise, if my son went to bed at 7PM I am literally interacting with him for less than 2 hours a day when I work.

My son is in bed by 8:30-9 PM.

I'm a working mom and my daughters - now 5.5 and going on 7 always went to be around 9:00. My younger one used to be a bigger sleeper so she went at 8:30 sometimes. We've never had to wake them up at a certain time though bc we have a nanny so they could be on their own wake-up schedule. I wouldn't worry too much about what other people do though whether they're working moms or not. Kids are different... I have a friend who firmly believes sleep begets sleep so religiously puts her girls down around 7 or 7:30 whether she's a SAHM at the time or working. But my oldest never seemed to need that much sleep and now my youngest doesn't either. As an adult who LOVES sleep, I wish they'd do the 12 hour thing but they don't and I figure it's good for later in life. They won't want to spend half their lives sleeping like I do. He may be one of those kids who always fights bedtime. My sister did... Best you can do is have a good amount of quiet time before bed and in terms of how much sleep he needs, might be trial and error. And then get the new book "Go the F%&k to Sleep. It's popular for a reason. Some kids just won't go quietly to bed every night!! My oldest still drives me crazy while my youngest is way more compliant.

i am a work from home mom! its still crazy after five-6 when the hubby gets home and dinner is made bath, milk bottle and for everyone to get some quality time. its slow paced all day but that time is kind of rushed for every one it seems. if i remember correctly three yr olds need about ten hours of sleep at night. so i would count back from the time they wake up to figure the time he needs to go to bed. it seems that kids that just go to sleep anytime the want (ten or twelve at night) are kinda wild and cranky. our kids ages three and one go to sleep at different times...the one yr old at eight and the three yr old in bed at nine but will stay awake till ten or so. but they dont wake up till eight the next morning!

I am a SAHM - I've worked in the past...

Even as a SAHM - I have baseball practice and Boy Scouts (and sometimes Cub Scouts) on Monday night - school gets out at 1PM on Monday's so I have my boys in my face from 115 on...I can't get much done between homework and boy and cub scouts.

Yes, i try and make it - prepare it - earlier - but that doesn't always work because I volunteer at the school, clean house, laundry and all that other fun stuff....

Tonight we are having spaghetti - I can even put it in the slow cooker so when we get back - it will be done.

Tomorrow we have our play off game - I am making enchiladas...they will go in the oven before we go to the game... I know weekends are already slammed for working moms...check to see if your town has the place that you can go and prepare 5 or 7 meals, bring them home and freeze them - this will free up a lot of your weeknight evenings!!!

My 3 year olds NEVER went to bed at 7PM - 830 to 9PM - there were times they had meltdowns and we adjusted but over all? Nope - bed time is 9PM..

YOU CAN DO THIS MOMMY!!!

I've never been working mom and I think a suggested bedtime of 7pm is ridiculous. I think you are doing great for 830 or 9 and naps can make up the difference if he is tired during the day.
Hang in there. Mine are all teenagers which comes with it's own set of problems-like convincing them they need to go to bed before 2am!

Have you assessed any reasons for sleep issues with your toddler? Mine has had sleep issues from birth and his pedi and I agreed until we can determine the reason and or find an alternate "cure" we are using melatonin (we fear he may not produce this enough or at all). My son also has sensory issues as well as Adhd sleep issues are common with these disorders thus bringing us to this decision. I am not all for drugging the kids but if you have had regular sleep issues with your son it may be worth a conversation with the pedi for alternate idea and or to see if there is an underlying reason.
A tactic we tried (suggested by friends) but did not work for us was to play roughly and physically for 30 min before you start your routine, I have seen it work on many kids just not mine. As well some kids do well with lavendar aromatherepy baths before bedtime routine. Good Luck to you!
And yes, it is difficult to fit all that stuff in between getting home from work and bedtime ... when I was working I found myself doubleing up activities.

We just started letting our 3 and a half year old stay up till 9:00. We bumped it up from anywhere between 8:00-8:30 because she was starting to cry every single night. If she's a little sleepier, she falls asleep MUCH easier. Plus, I get to spend more snuggle time with her every night :)

I used to give my son a bath before bed. I would use some of the nightime babywash. It would help relax my son and gave us time together after dinner.

In the winter (because it gets dark earlier) I tried to be upstairs around 8:00. By the time we were ready for bed, it was about 8:30 and my kids have to get up at 7:15 for school. Now that it is staying light longer, I notice I am fighting them to get them to bed at 8:30. I have started putting them down at 9:15 or so and they are falling right asleep. My oldest seems a bit more tired, but my youngest is just fine. I think it depends on the kid…some just don't need as much sleep as others (as much as we WANT them to sleep, sleep, sleep). It is tricky to balance it all during the week. I usually feel like a bad mom Monday-Thursday because there is sooo much to do after work. Friday-Sunday, I TRY to be a bit more relaxed and focus on some fun with the kiddos.

My almost four and almost two year old go to bed between 8-830 now. About a month ago it was 7pm but my daughter does not nap and that time worked well for them. But then they were up at 6-7am (dad at home during the week). We moved it back so they sleep later in the mornings. I also get home between 330-4 so even putting them to bed at 7 worked for me to get time with them but now I just get more!

Ah, yes... bedtime. I was actually talking about this with another working mama friend the other day! It's almost like we were both embarassed to admit that our 3 yr olds go to bed after 8:00.

Here's what our night looks like (hers too):
- husband picks up son at 4:30, home at 5:00 for a snack and outside play
- mommy home 5:15, quick change out of suit and into play clothes and playtime
- 5:45, start dinner (usually something very easy on weeknights)
- 6:15 (ish) dinner
- play time (no t.v.) until bubble and jammies at 7:30
- "slow down time" starts at 7:45 and we cuddle, read books and watch t.v. until 8:30.

We put him in his bed at 8:30 and he's usually out within 10 minutes. Last night, though, he was really off-schedule (my husband has the flu and it's throwing off our whole routine), so he didn't sleep well.

7:00 simply doesn't happen for us. If we put him to bed at 7:00, I would never get to have time with him. Besides that, he still takes a nap in the afternoon at preschool and he's not tired before 8.

My pediatrician told me flat-out that kids will sleep when they're tired and if they aren't getting enough sleep, you'll know it very quickly. If your child is happy, healthy and active- no worries!

My 3 year old goes to sleep between 9:30 & 10 now that its light out until at least 9. He still gets a nap most days for 2 1/2 hours. It's not that I am trying to squeeze time in with him, we've tried earlier bedtimes, but even going to bed at 9 he's awake for 30 minutes to an hour. 7pm would be torture for him (and me) as it is still bright sunshine outside.

My two year old is in bed between 8 and 8:30 each night. I get him up early (6:15 ) every day during the week. He is an early riser just like my 8 year old (awake every day including weekends by 6:45). Sometimes on the weekends I let him stay up a little past 8:30, because Mom doesn't want to get up on Saturday before 7am! He gets about a 2 hour nap daily at the daycare and on Sat/Sun at home.

Updated

My two year old is in bed between 8 and 8:30 each night. I get him up early (6:15 ) every day during the week. He is an early riser just like my 8 year old (awake every day including weekends by 6:45). Sometimes on the weekends I let him stay up a little past 8:30, because Mom doesn't want to get up on Saturday before 7am! He gets about a 2 hour nap daily at the daycare and on Sat/Sun at home.

My son will be 4 in aug and my daughter is 15 months old. I pick them up from daycare and get home around 5, and my daughter goes to bed about 7/7:15 and my son is about 8/8:15. They both take about a half hour to fall asleep but they are in bed at those times. It is very hard to get everything in within a couple hours at night. I just try to find easy meals and have been using the crock pot more to to save on some dinner time. I try to be done with dinner and dishes by 6 and then outside for a half hour or so then bath on bath nights and jammies, books and bed. I dont know how it will work when they are older and in sports but our routine works now. You dont get a lot of quality time which i dislike but i try to make up for it on the weekends and spend my time with them.

My 4 yo goes to bed between 8:30 and 9, and it's been this way for a year. It's earlier on the weekends when he doesn't get a nap, as his preschool forces them to nap daily. The nap offsets his schedule to a later bedtime as he really doesn't need the nap anymore. All I can say is have a set schedule. Dinner 7:00, tv time/family time 7:15-8, bath-8:00-8:15, story time- 8:15-8:30, lights out-8:30. This can be flexible with a little wiggle room, as long as lights out is 8:30. My son may not go to sleep then, but he knows what's expected and doesn't try to fight it too much. He knows that he has to stay in bed and be quiet at that time. He even watches the clock with me. I find I am better at getting my son to bed than my husband, who is a pretty big pushover about the schedule. Then we have a sleepy head in the morning. I hope this helps.

I work ft and my DH has to be to work in the a.m., plus pre-school. We have a 2 yr old, 4 1/2 yr old and a 2 month old - all boys. All in the same room (except when the L.O. cries, then he has a pack n' play in our room). We have had the boys to bed between 8:30 and 9:30 pm. There is a "rest" period of the day where they have to be in their beds, they can be reading, or quietly playing with one toy, but they have to stay in bed (to allow themselves to calm down).

Before we go to bed, it's bath, brushing teeth, drying hair, and if we have time 1-3 books, or songs, then prayers & goodnights. Our 4 1/2 yr old gets very over-stimulated easily, so no sugar after 5pm (no juice or dessert after this time of day), and no movies or "screen/media" time either. Usually this works well for both our boys.

I am a working mom - 50+ hours a week. My son needs his sleep and he has pretty much set his bedtime around 7pm - anything later he is just uber cranky. When he was an infant it was closer to 6:30.

I have adjusted my schedule to get to work by 7:30 and pick him up at 4:30. And sometimes my husband and I alternate. I realize not everybody has a flexible schedule, but it was necessary for him. Most nights, I pick work back up again after he goes to bed, dinner, etc.

I would say its not ideal, but because my son really needs his sleep, I have adjusted to make it work.

The most important thing about bedtime is having a routine. We had similar issues with my son at that age. It's not necessarily the time you put him to bed but how your schedule goes. Also at this age they are trying to assert their independence. So what I found worked with my son was giving him choices so that he felt he had a say in what was going on. Of course you may have to try a bunch of different things to find what works for your son, and of course things seem to change constantly so you may have to try different things often. I think 8:30 or 9 is a pretty reasonable bed time as long as they are not acting overtired all day and have the opportunity to nap.

When my son was that age our bed time routine was bath, then I read a book, then rocked him in the rocking chair and sung a lullabye then bed. He got to choose the story and the song and the stuffed animal to sleep with, I also used to let him shut his own light off. When he got older he was able to read by himself for 20-30 minutes and when time was up we let him know and he shut off his own light. Then it seemed like it was his decision and we had a lot less bed time fights!

There is no right or wrong bed time, it's whatever works for you. Hang in there it gets better!

My 3 y/o goes to bed between 8/8:30 but has to get up by 6:30. I start the bedtime routine about 7:30 and I find that this is when I get my quality time with both my boys.
I totally agree ~ it is so hard to get everything done in such a short amount of time in the evening. We get home about 5:30 and it helps me a ton if I have planned a menu for the week.