Questions About Going to Church??

Updated on April 18, 2011
S.T. asks from Kansas City, KS
18 answers

First off do you believe that if you don't go to church but are still religious you will go to heaven? What does going to church mean to you and your kids? We were going to a new church well me and my kids I can't get my husband to go with us. We love the new church but I have been helping take care of my grandmother for a few months for my mom since she is putting on a huge Easter production at her church and my grandma is really bad so we have missed quite of church lately. I just don't if I want to start the hassle of me getting both kids and myself ready to go to church every Sunday. I know that sounds bad but my son is starting to fight me saying dads not going so why do I. Thanks and hope everybody has a wonderful joyous Easter!

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

My religious tradition does not involve the heaven/hell dichotomy, nor does it have obligatory days that one "must" attend services. It isn't about determining where a person's soul will reside after the person dies. It's about finding personal truth and living ethically in the here and now. When we are able to make it to services/rituals/ceremonies, we enjoy the fellowship. When we can't, no one looks down on us for not being there "often enough."

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

If God has this omnipotence thing working for him, he knows where I am and that I'm basically a good person.
If he takes attendance every week and will allow me to fry in hell for not going to church, then he's too petty for me to worry about worshiping.
Organized religion, pick any one you care to think about, has always been about cash flow and political power. I can't think how they could save my soul while picking my pocket. But that's just me. Others feel differently and that's ok.
If you enjoy the socializing and having as much of the family together as possible at church, just tell your son you enjoy having this special family time together and if he doesn't like it, he can do as he pleases when he's grown and on his own.

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L.A.

answers from Chattanooga on

God doesn't need or want us to be "religious". All He wants from us is a real relationship with Him! Talking to him every day, confessing our sin to Him, praising Him, thanking Him...everything you do in any relationship with someone you LOVE. No where does the bible say that God demands we go TO a church...those who love Him and are in a relationship with Him ARE the church. It only says we should not forsake gathering together with other believers (which you can do over a cup of coffee!). You can read His word and home, teach your children what the bible says about God, show them by example how to live a Godly life. You don't need to be in a pew on Sunday morning for that. Just remember the relationship part :)

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I have a strong faith and raised my daughter that way as well. However, we do not attend a church.

When I was growing up, I was forced to attend church every time the doors were open. That is great for some people but I had major issues with it because as a teen, I knew the pastor was screwing around on his wife and he would hit on my mom. I lost a lot of respect for the church at that point.

We did join a church when daughter was a baby. It was small, very family like and loved it. Then, they wanted to build a new church started hounding for money.. We have not been in years. They have become one of the larger mega churches.... keep building and building and the sense we had when it was so small is gone.

It seems that the idea is to be the biggest church with largest membership and then so many are forgotten along the way.

I am comfortable with my faith.

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

I go to Mass most weeks. To me, it's important and helps fulfill me spiritually; I'd also like to think that my presence there and sharing in the celebration helps fulfill the others who also attend. We're a community and celebrate our faith as such. We give something of ourselves and get something back from the strength of the community.

I look at attendance at Mass as kind of my part of the deal with God. I receive His love and guidance through my faith. One way I practice that faith is through participating at Mass.

I take my children with me (though I have, on occasion, allowed them to stay home when I feel that's the right choice that particular week). For me, it's part of passing on my moral code and my values to my family. My husband doesn't usually attend and, yes, my kids used to question why they had to go and he didn't. My response was that he was grown and could make his own choices and they can when they're grown. Until then, their spiritual development was part of my responsibility as their mom. I may not get it right, but I felt pretty regular attendance at Mass and living the best we could was part of the deal.

As for the getting into heaven part, I figure it can't hurt and might help. And, besides, that's not for me (or any of us) to judge. My job is to follow my faith the best I can, ask God's forgiveness because I don't always get it right and leave the rest to Him.

By the way, I also believe you should never let religion get in the way of your faith.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

There are many reasons people don't attend church. My grandmother grew up on a mountain and didn't always make the walk to church as a kid. She's one of the most deeply religious people I know. I also know people who go to church and when you find out that they do you think, "Why?" because they don't seem to be paying attention.

I think a good church home is important. I just had this talk with my sister. We were encouraged to check out other churches and religions and as adults we made our own decisions, but we had a foundation that our husbands did not get. I go with my daughter even if no one else comes with us. My husband comes for major holidays only, usually. My father didn't always go and my mom said that I could choose when I was older, but right now I was going. For kids especially, it helps to have a good youth program for them.

Many churches have outreach programs for those who cannot attend. See if the church will post video or podcast of the sermon online for you or if they make recordings for shut ins that your family could get copies of. My grandparents got that when my grandfather was bedridden with Alzheimer's.

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R..

answers from Chattanooga on

I don't believe that I will be sent to Hell for not going to church. I feel like I am a good person, even if I choose not to 'worship' God. I do good deeds, I'm honest, I help others... If God is going to condemn me for that, then I don't want to go to his heaven anyway.

Just to add though... I was FORCED to go to church every Sunday with my grandma. (unless I was sick.) (my dad didn't go to church, but he thought it was good for us.) I didn't like going, and resented it. By the time I was 15 I would go to church and would just sluff Sunday School. My dad finally let me stay home if I wanted when I was 17, and I haven't been to church since. Maybe, I wouldn't have rebelled so strongly against it if I had been allowed to stay home once in a while... or if I had been allowed to make my own decisions regarding religion... The funny thing is that I was VERY involved in our youth program... I was the youth leader for my age group and everything.

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A.B.

answers from Louisville on

I think the majority of religious persons will agree that church attendance doesn't dictate whether you will go to heaven or not. Most people attend church to be spiritually fed and uplifted, as well as to worship God with like-minded people through prayer, hymns, and other observances such as the Lord's Supper. In other words, your attendance at church is mostly to build you up spiritually, but it is not the only means of developing yourself spiritually. One other aspect of church attendance is the ability to develop a good support group as well as putting yourself out there to support and serve others. I believe people who develop a strong support group who also make an effort to serve are in a much better position to weather life's many storms because they have both a network and an opportunity to lose their own concerns in caring for someone else.

As far as family goes, it's very hard to be the one parent who makes the effort to get up and go to church. It's especially hard to have your children fighting you about going (which, if it makes you feel any better, happens even with some kids who have gone with both parents for their whole lives; sometimes it's just a stage, you know?). This is one of those moments where you have to walk a fine line because it can have a profound impact on your children. You can always force it, but it's so easy for them to associate church with the negative emotions that come through forcing the issue. You can also allow him some degree of choice, but there too, you risk having him choose the easy route of not getting up and going when there are things that he might really enjoy and benefit from if he goes. If you haven't tried this, you might consider sitting down with your son and talking about what he does and doesn't like about church, what makes him want to stay home, etc.. If he feels like you are hearing him, he might be inclined to make an agreement to spend every other Sunday at church (which will likely increase as he develops friendships and relationships with teachers, etc.). If I had to guess, part of his reluctance comes from just wanting to spend some time with dad, and by offering him that option, you are meeting one of his needs, too. You know your family best, though, and you'll know what to do to bring the greatest peace to your home.

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A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

Assuming you are a Christian I think that, by the dogma of your religion, if you believe in Christ, have accepted his sacrifice in payment of your sins, and follow him in obedience then you will go to Heaven.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

You say you love your new church. Have you talked with your pastor? That's the person who can answer your excellent questions in the most helpful way.

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Well I take my kids on a fairly regular basis to church. My husband told me when we got married he would go with me. Well once we had children he broke his word. He maybe goes to church with us 1-2 times a year. He was not raised to go on a regular basis. I was.
I believe going to church can help you become a better person but doesnt gurantee it. I also believe that their are some wonderful non church people that are kinder then the people that attend mass each week.
Live a kind life. Think of others. Teach your children to think of others. Dont teach them to always put themself first.Visit the people in the assited living. Just simple live your life practicing goodness and yes I truly believe you will go to heaven.

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L.G.

answers from Detroit on

I am saddened by some of the responses you've gotten from people who have clearly had a bad experience and are now very bitter toward church. I will be praying for them, and you!

You don't go to Heaven because of going to church, or because of anything YOU do! "for it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works" Ephesians 2:8-9.

What IS important, is a relationship with God. He wants to be in a relationship with you, and your kids! While you can and should do a lot at home to foster this relationship at home, such as praying together, reading the Bible, reading books about God, talking about Him, etc., it is also important to be in fellowship with other believers.

I have been a member of a church my entire life. When I was in high school, most of my friends were from my youth group at church. What great place for kids to meet friends right? My prayer for my own child is for her to surround herself with other believers. What better environment is there? My father also did not go to church. It is an unfortunate situation when one parent doesn't go, and can be confusing for kids. My suggestion is to continue going, as you said, you like it, and pray together for your husband. Talk to your kids about the wonderful gift of the Gospel, and how we want to share it with everyone!

As for not wanting to get your kids, up, i hear you, but many churches have evening services. Ours has saturday evening and monday evening. maybe this is an option for you. even our sunday service is not until 1045, so we still get to sleep in on sundays.

If faith is important to you, and I assume it is, if you're asking this, then you need to expose your kids to it! How else will they know? "How, then, can they call ont he one thye have not believed in? and how can they believe int he one of whom they have not heard?" Romans 10:14.

I would just like to give a reminder, in response to some of the other comments. Keep in mind, that Satan is very real. He does seek to destroy. That is why it's important to be in fellowship with other believers, and not to let him wear your down about your faith and your church life. also, churches are run by humans, none of whom are perfect. people will sin and mess up, so for those who feel they have been wronged by church, I pray that they would give it a try. there are many churches that are very friendly, and loving.

Finally, churches, like anything else, require money to pay the mortgage, run the lights, pay the heating bills, and also pay the salaries of those who keep the church going. not to mention, the costs necessary to reach out and to seek and save the lost. most churches these days are in debt, just trying to pay the bills, so the sacrificial giving they preach about is to continue the ministry of the church, not just to get rich. unfortunately, i think many people use these things as excuses for some other reason. again, those are the ones i will be praying for!

blessings on your decision!

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B.D.

answers from Kansas City on

To me being religious is more than about going to church. It's me, how I act, and what I do every day. I do go to church and for me and my husband, we have 3 small kids and one more in a few weeks. Church is torture for us becuase its hard to keep them still for the hour long sacrament meeting. After that we have 2 hours of Sunday school classes where our 17 month old goes with us to teach our class or 6 year olds while our 3 year goes to nursery and our 5 year goes to her Sunday school class. For us our Sacrament Meeting is very important to attend because that it when we partake of the sacrament and renew the covenants that we make when we are baptized. I don't know about other faiths but I don't see the point of just attending a service if there is no significance about it. I also think that its good for our kids because it's a chance to teach them about reverence and the purpose of their life. If you raise your children from a young age with morality and care I like to think that it can only help when it comes to the harder ages and the choices that they will make.

Just a side note on the money issue. Not one single person inmy church gets any monetary increase to fulfill their postion. It is all serviced based. Our tithing funds go to humanitarian projects the support of the overall church, like paying for new building and the associated costs. Taking care of local members who may have come into some financial troubles. When you pay your tithing in our church it then becomes the Lord's money and is used how he would use it.

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M.P.

answers from Provo on

God knows we are busy and have a family. He is the one that gave us them. So in my personal beliefs, as long as you are good and follow the "rules" of your church or the ten commandment (whatever you belive in) and make an effort to attempt to go or try to and it doesn't work out, then he'll love and welcome you with open arms.

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J.B.

answers from Kansas City on

We live in church. Fellowship is wonderful, though going to a certain building and participating in religion is separate from walking with Christ. We walk with Christ/God one step at a time, 24 hours a day, 7 days per week. Through religion we come to know one another, through faith we come to know God - the two are not one in the same. Blessings to you and your family and may you find your way in a personal relationship with God, the details of which are most likely best worked out between you and God. :)

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M.R.

answers from Rochester on

I was going alone, myself and two boys, and now three boys. My husband works Sundays and had been working the morning shift, then it went to afternoons but he would have to leave church early to make it, but now he's starting at 3. He also has insomnia. He is a Christian but has been frustrated with church since he was a kid (drama, hypocrisy, he's a pastor's son), and on top of the lack of sleep he gets and working evenings, it has been almost impossible to get him to go with us. He is starting to now that he doesn't work at 3, I'm just waiting until the last minute to wake him up so he can get a little more sleep. I was dreading taking all three boys (4, 2 1/2 and 1 month) alone, but did it the first week and would personally continue to do it. I do believe some people can remain faithful when they do not attend, but it is so important that we have the "communion of the saints" as it were and gather with other Christians to worship and learn. I start to feel worse than I do when I'm not exercising if I start missing church.

Hang in there and now you can let your kids start working on daddy. :)

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A.G.

answers from Dallas on

I don't believe that church-going is required to get into heaven. I do believe that going to church helps build stronger faith (for me at least) and community. We're Catholic, and my husband works on Saturdays. My boys and I prefer going to mass on Saturday nights when it's more relaxed, but then my husband can't join us. He really doesn't mind, though. He goes with us occassionally on Sundays, but prefers missing it. Last week my youngest son didn't feel like going even though he usually enjoys mass, and asked why he had to go. I replied, "God is always with us in our house; He probably appreciates it when we visit Him in His house." I really meant that. Going to church is important to me. It makes me feel complete when I take communion, and I love being there. My actions throughout the week, and how I live my life are so much more important though.

Happy Easter to you, too!

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

I think you should live right for the sake of living right, not "getting into heaven" and of course many people who do not do to church are the very best people. If you believe, you believe. Will that get you into heaven? No one knows, they just have their beliefs. I would go to church for yourself when you are able to focus on it. I don't know how old your son is. I wouldn't force the kids past a certain age, especially if dad's not on board, they already have a skepticism built in if that's their dad's view, but offering the foundation is nice. I personally don't go and wouldn't worry. But if you truly feel the discipline of going to church is important to life and character, than suck it up and go and make the kids go too. Don't cop out! Church is not easy to go to for anyone. Decide how you really feel and let that guide you.

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