Questions About Home Schooling

We have decided to homeschool. We are more unschoolers or life schoolers. My girls are 7, 4, and 17 months. My 7 and 4 year olds are involved in many activities, based on their interests. The oldest has been doing gymnastics team and violin & piano lessons. In a couple of weeks, she will start new classes at the YMCA in homeschool strings, drawing, and sign language. My 4 year old takes gymnastics and will start dance. There are many active homeschool groups. We belong to the Cincinnati Homeschool Network and participate in many learning activities through that. There is a wide range of learning activities available for kids of all ages.

Hi J.,
I don't have any personal experience with being homeschooled (so please take my opinions and do with them as you wish) however, my cousin was homeschooled and any issues he was having in a formal school setting got worse once he was being taught at home. For him, the experience wasn't a positive one and not beneficial for him.

Unfortunately, children will be teased in life (I was) and will face many challenges. As parents, we do not want to see them go through this. But I think I am a better person for it today.

I would see if there is any way to dicuss the situation with your son's teacher and have her keep an eye on it. Of course, you don't want it to escalate any further than what it already has, but things may be different this year anyway. Children change friends, attitudes, etc so quickly and maybe there will some great new friends for your son to make this year.

If you do decide to homeschool, which is a decision only you can make, it would be best if he still has social interaction with other children (sports, playgroups, etc.) Although school is for academics, it also teaches very valuable socialization skills that kids shouldn't miss out on.

You know your family best and will be able to tell if you've made the right choice or not. Good luck!

I also have a 3rd grader. She too started having trouble with anxiety last year after the all to familiar girly rivals started. (Yes already in 2nd grade). I know a handful a people that homeschool their kids and it appears there is a network and support system out there. The number one thing I have always heard is that it takes GREAT disipline to homeschool your kids. If you've got it in you great! If not, the advice I gave my daughter has seemed to cut the edge a bit. I fall back on the age old do unto others... and tell her to only surrond herself withte people that make her feel good about herself, and unfortunatley going through life is going to involve some not so nice people. I have incouraged her to be verbal about her feeling to me and those people (what does she have to loose when they are already being mean). So far it seems to be working. She has made some tuff choices involving these "groups" and has been able to seperate herself or resolve the problems. another thing that her 2nd grade teacher did that I liked is if a student came to her with a problem about something someone else said or did she would take the 2 of them aside and have the accuser say what happened to hurt or bother them and they would both hane a chance to get their side of the story out. It seemed after these confrontations things got quiter. Any way good luck with whatever you decide, hope any of this helps!

I have been planning on homeschooling my little one and the best website I have found is OHDELA(sp). but I would say to check out several options before you pick one.

My cousin homeschools her children, and, to be honest with you, i don't think it has been beneficial at all. All of them seriously lack in the socialization area, with a couple of them very behind academically. BUT, that has much more to do with my cousin. I really do feel it can be great for some kids and parents, but not so great for others. In addition to homeschooling, there are some great new charter schools that you could also look into to. It is also a new school year, so a new beginning, which I would really try to stress. Are there any activities your son can get involved with so that he can make some new friends? (sports, boy scouts?) I would also try speaking with his teachers if he is in deed being harrassed. no child should have to deal with that on a constant basis, so mention this to his teachers so they can be aware if this is a problem. We all know, though, that kids can be cruel and no one should have to feel sick going to school! So, if you decide to have your son go back to his old school, and things do not improve, I would definitely try something else. Switching schools, or homeschooling, I dont feel, would be an avoidance of conflict.

J.,

Go check out www.ohva.org for details, as they are currently enrolling new students. We homeschooled our 5 year old last year through Kindergarten and were absolutely delighted! First grade begins on the 27th, and we are very excited.

The Ohio Virtual Academy is a public charter school, so it is already paid for; you don't owe tuition. They provide the entire curriculum, all the teaching materials (except some paper, pencils, printer ink), a loaner computer and printer (with a reimbursal for the internet connection), and an assigned teacher (I consider her our supervisor) who has classroom teaching experience and to answer all your questions. There is a peer-to-peer support where seasoned homeschoolers pair up with the new families, a support board on Yahoo, and group activities scheduled throughout the year. Your son gets to progress through the lessons at his own pace. It takes a short while to get into the groove, but it is great fun.

As far as socialization and avoiding conflict, read the following two articles:

http://www.tnhomeed.com/LRSocial.html
http://www.newswithviews.com/loeffler/loeffler10.htm

If you have any questions, or want to talk more about this, just send me a note.

Best wishes,
K.

J., That is hard for a third grader to go through. An online school I went through when I was in high school that also has elemertary classes is TRECA digital accadamy. They give each student a computer to use and high speed internet. The class are almost completly online but if a student needs help then there are tutoring sessions available. Students can also interact with other students through email. It was fun and it still left me lots of time to do plenty of other things. I don't think you are teaching him to avoid conflict. I know for me traditional school just wasn't for me. Each person has there own personal prefrance when it comes to learning and making friends etc and traditional school isn't always right for everyone. If it was me I would first ask him what he wants to do then go from there.
C. D

hello- i wanted to share with you my choice---an eschool! it has been great so far-starting our second year! we use ohdela but there are many other choices. www.ohdela.com www.go2boss.com one called ohio virtual acadamy, one called treca-do not know the websites for those two. it is a public school at home(free)-they give you a computer, scanner-fax-printer, microphone and all accesories, a gift card for school supplies, all of your books and curriculum and after the first year they give you an account to purchase supplemental things and they reimburse you 300-500 dollars. since it is a public school they get a real diploma at graduation- or you can transfer back to any public/private school with no problem. i am also part of a homeschool group that i love! it has a wide variety of homeschoolers that do many different things(not just eschoolers). www.neohsc.com- great resource! best of luck- if you have any questions, just ask! thanks-M.

I'm a big advocate of home schooling. I have to say to take what teachers say with a grain of salt, not meaning that in a bad way (sorry if it sounds that way, not wanting to offend I do really respect teachers!), but just that obviously they are going to think going to school is the best way to teach your child. Do your research about homeschooling and you'll find many many benefits. I don't think that having your child avoid conflicts that he is unable to deal with effectively is a bad thing! At this age they really don't understand when others dislike them, and it tends to affect them their whole life. Why put them through that? It doesn't have to be all or nothing, either, in the sense that you could homeschool for a year and work on his social skills (playdates etc) and when you feel he is ready and wants to go back to school, he can.
As for options, there are a billion! I would suggest joining a homeschooling group. I'm not sure of your area, or I might have a specific suggestion. I felt very overwhelmed at first, and having the group really really helped. One thing that you can do is the Ohio Virtual Academy (OHVA), where you get a free computer and help from a teacher but you do the schooling at home. It's like being in a public school at home. It's not my favorite option because it takes more time than a regular homeschooling curriculum usually takes, but it does take the guesswork and insecurity out of it!
I hope that helps, I really just want to encourage you to follow your instinct and don't be scared off by everybody who is sending their kids to school because "that's what you do," KWIM? You'll get some flack and questions about it, but most of that comes from misperceptions and lack of understanding of what homeschooling is all about. If you join the group and do your research you'll see that the benefits outweigh any perceived drawbacks.
In the library you can get "The Ultimate Book of Homeschooling Ideas" by Linda Dobson, and at the beginning of the book she explains a little about the difference between "education" and "schooling" (her definitions).
Hope that helps!

You know your child best, so whatever you decide will likely work out well.

However, as a teacher I'd like to offer the following tips to perhaps help him ease back into the school year should you decide to give his school one more try. Please note, I'm not suggesting this is the only option or the best option, but just some tips to help him if he goes back.

Do you know who his teacher is yet? Call him/her and set up an appointment to meet before the school year starts, just like a 'meet and greet'. Your son will have the opportunity to put a face with a name and get to know his teacher before the hustle and bustle of the first day's activities.

Call the school to see if you can take a tour. Granted, he's probably been attending this school before, but have your son point out his new classroom, his locker (if he has one), where he takes art/music/gym classes, etc. Ask him about his favorite subjects, what he is most excited about at school to get back to.

About the 'mean kids' - did your son ever mention who those children were? Is it a possibility to ask the principal if your son could be in a class where the 'mean boys/girls' aren't? Maybe even ask your son who his closest friends are and request that your son be placed in a class with one or two of his friends. You may need to explain to the principal your son's issues last year with anxiety and the other students. As an educator, it is my strong, strong opinion that our first and foremost duty to students is to make school a safe place (physically, emotionally, and socially) for EVERY student. Children cannot adequately learn without feeling 'safe' at school.

Not every child thrives in a traditional school setting, so he may well be better off home-schooled. Good luck to you and let us know how it goes! *hmmmm I must be the first teacher Lynn has ever heard say this!

Oh, J., there's so much I'd love to talk to you about. It's hard to get it all in in a response like this. We had decided to homeschool our children way before we even got married, but that doesn't mean we've had our share of questions, concerns, wonderings if we're doing the right thing, etc. First thing, I would suggest looking up homeschooling at your library. There should be tons of resources for those thinking of homeschooling. Most people realize that it's not for everyone, and some children do fine or better in traditional schools. Just accept that whatever you choose, is fine, b/c no one knows your child better than you. And not every child in your family needs to HS. Depends on the child and what you think is best.

I would also check out homeschooling sites on the web. Just google homeschooling and you'll hundreds of sites.
Finally, I would love for you to call me so we can discuss the MANY ways to go about homeschooling.
Contact me anytime....Hope this helps, A.
____@____.com or ###-###-####

J.,

Maybe this will be a good year again. See if you can make a deal with him that he will try school for a week, month, or whatever you feel comfortable with and if it's a bad experience for him, then say you will discuss options with him. You could change teachers, schools, or home school. Ask him to give you examples of the bad things that happened. Find out what his exact fears are. Good luck!
B.

HI J.! I HAVE A 13 YR. OLD SON,WHEN HE WAS IN 1& 2ND GRADE HE BEGAN TO COME HOME SAYING THINGS LIKE,"I'M SO STUPID" AND "I CAN'T READ LIKE THE OTHER KIDS,MY TEACHER SAID I'M BEHIND" AND ALL OTHER KINDS OF THINGS. IT BECAME A SITUATION WHERE HE WOULD BECOME SICK FROM HIS NERVES. HE STATED TO GET SUCH A BAD ATTITUDE ABOUT SCHOOL AND LEARNING AND HE FELT DEFEATED BEFORE HE WOULD EVEN LEAVE THE HOUSE. MY HUSBAND AND I DECIDED TO KEEP HOM HOME AND HOME SCHOOL HIM. I LIKE YOU REALLY DIDN'T KNOW IF IT WAS THE RIGHT THING OR NOT. HOWEVER I BEGAN TO TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT IT AND IT LED ME TO THIS HOMESCHOOLING PROGRAM CALLED " OHIO VIRTUAL ACADEMY" here is the website: http://www.ohva.org/

ANYWAY.....THIS IS TOTALLY FREE TO YOU,THEY PROVIDE YOU WITH A COMPUTER, A TEACHER THAT WILL HELP YOU WITH ANY QUESTIONS ON ANY SUBJECT,AND THIS TEACHER WILL CHECK IN ON YOU EACH MONTH TO KEEP YOU ON TRACK. THIS TEACHER SETS UP FIELD TRIPS,SENDS YOU TO TEST SITES FOR ANY STATE RECOMENDED TESTS FOR YOU CHILD,
SO YOUR CHILD WILL NOT TOTALLY BE ALONE. YOU WILL HOOK UP WITH OTHER HOME-SCHOOLING FAMILIES IN THE AREA AND ALL OF YOU WILL MEET YOUR TEACHER AND GO ON FIELD TRIPS TOGETHER ONCE A MONTH. THEY PROVIDE ALL THE CURRICULUM AND TESTS,TEACHERS GUIDS,ART SUPPLIES,AND YOU WILL HAVE A SCHEDULE THAT PLANS YOUR DAY. YOU WILL CHECK IN ON THE COMPUTER AND PULL UP YOUR DAYS EVENTS. IT'S SO EASY AND IT'S ALL FREE! THIS WAY YOU WILL HAVE SOMEONE TO GUIDE YOU ALONG,SO YOUR CHILD WON'T GET BEHIND. WE DID THIS FOR 2 YEARS AND LOVED IT! MY SON DECIDED THAT HE WAS READY TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL,SO NOW HE IS BACK IN SCHOOL. THIS ALOUD US AS AFAMILY TO HELP BUILD UP HIS CONFIDENCE,SO HE FEELS GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF. IT HELPED HIM GET A BETTER OUTLOOK ON SCHOOL AND PEERS AND I WOULDN'T TRADE THAT FOR ANYTHING.

DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU ARE TEACHING HIM TO RUN FROM CONFLICT,YOU ARE SIMPLY GIVING HIM THE TOOLS HE NEEDS TO THRIVE. THATS WHAT PARENTS DO,SO BEST OF LUCK TO YOU. CHECK OUT THE WEBSITE I SENT YOU AND READ FOR YOURSELF. GOD BLESS!

My kids aren't old enough for school yet so this is not something I have personally dealt with but a friend of mine home schools all of her kids and they seem very intelligent and well adjusted. There are e-schools online that provide assignments, grade then, administer tests, etc. One of them is http://www.ohva.org/ but I'm sure there are others too. Also, you could involve him in sports, music, or art classes so that he does have the chance to be around other kids his age. Its a really tough decision and I'm not sure what I would do in your situation but there are a lot of different options for home schooling these days. Maybe you could let him start the school year in school and see if he has better luck with a new class, teacher, etc. If he doesn't seem happy, them maybe try home school.

Hi J.,
I dealt with the same thing with my son- he is going into fourth grade this year. He went to "regular" school for K and 1st and had so much anxiety it was terrible. He would come home with headaches and an upset stomach and although he and his teacher assured me he wasn't being bullied it was a struggle every night and every morning to get him off to school. I know that there are alot of people that don't understand the reasons for homeschooling and there are too many to count. For me it came down to what is best for my son? Is he so distracted by his anxiety that he's not learning? What good is it doning a child to go to school for 6 hours a day and not learn because they are misarable? We decided to homeschool starting in second grade and my son is like a new child. We use BOSS short for the Buckeye online school for sucess www.go2boss.com. I cannot say enough good about them- they provide a computer all your books a teachers manual, everything down to pencils and crayons. They reimburse all your internet expenses and give your child a YMCA membership. Each child has an Instructional supervisor to help with any questions you have and to track their progress. They take field trips throughout the year statewide so everyone can participate. My son does his classes online with a teacher- he has a headset mic so that he can talk and listen and interact with the teacher and other kids. Or you can do it the more traditional way of you being the teacher. And it is all free!! We will be starting my little one in kindergarten this year with boss too because after how great they have been with my older one I have no doubt it will be great for my little one too. Good luck with your decision and feel free to email me with any questions.