Questions About My 1 Year Old Daughter ANY Advice Appreciated :)

OMG this is my granddaughter. She will be one in two weeks. All of a sudden the whining is making me crazy. Temper!!!!! Stiffens up! They are asserting their independence! Lot of it is frustration. Hard to communicate, maybe not walking yet and wants to move. It will get better.

Every child is different. She's not being a brat on purpose, she just gets upset and doesn't have words yet. Put her in a safe place if she tantrums and won't stop. And look into baby sign language. Babies can THINK before they can talk, so learning signs for the important stuff (hungry, thirsty, more, all done) can REALLY help cut back on frustration. Plus it actually can improve their learning to talk because they are using "words" before they can speak - kind of like a head start.

She's not even ONE. She is a baby. She doesn't know what a tantrum is, and she doesn't know what listening is. She gets frustrated, because she lacks the skills to communicate. Again, because she is a baby! She does that, because she doesn't understand why the heck you are taking something away. She can NOT understand why, and her reaction is not a tantrum or defiance, but an instinctual reaction to not understanding...or being able to communicate that. She is not "whining" she is attempting to communicate in the only way she knows how. (This is not "bad behavior." A one year old can't manipulate you, or plot to behave against you. Give me a break, people!!!)

For heaven sakes, she is a baby! You can expect her to act like a child! She is behaving in an age appropriate way. This is a VERY frustrating time for little ones. They sort of know what they do and don't want, but don't understand how to tell you, and don't know the proper reactions! Try teaching her some baby signs, so she can tell you what she is feeling, without the physical reaction.

It is a completely age appropriate behavior for a baby her age. She doesn't understand why she can't have or do what she wants. She has no knowledge of danger or damaging things. All she knows is she is enjoying exploring or playing with something and you stop her. That is extremely frustrating for her, and she has no words to express herself. It comes out as anger. Distractions sometimes work well at this age. Also, many parents tend to just grab things from babies. I have found asking for the item or trading for something else can help prevent a tantrum. Punishing or isolating her isn't fair. She is too young to be trying to misbehave or manipulate you. Teach her how to treat people by respecting her feelings.

I second Patricia G's suggestion for teaching her some basic sign language. It is not that hard to do at all!

We did some basic signing with both of our children, and it really cut back on the frustration with the child not being able to communicate with us. We tend to forget that just because they cannot talk does not mean that they do not have the cognitive ability to process what they want. You need to find a way to give her the ability to bridge the connection between what she knows she wants/needs and telling you what she wants/needs.

If you're worried about doing this, I would suggest getting the Baby Einstein dvd (I think it's called Baby's First Signs....but a friend is borrowing ours right now so I cannot check). Even if you don't show it to your daughter, you'll pick up the signs really quickly and you can teach them to her. Start with a few signs at a time, and kindly force her to use them when she wants something, then praise her. For example, our big ones were always "More" and "All Done" at supper time. When she points at something like she wants it, teach her to sign 'More.' Practice it. At the end of every meal, before you let her get up, teacher her to sign 'All Done.' Don't be worried if her signs don't look like the ones on the video...As long as you and she know what her signs are, then the communication problem will be solved.

Hope this helps! :)

The best thing you can do is put her in a pack and play and walk away from her when she acts like this. She doesn't have the ability to talk yet. She doesn't even know what she wants, quite frankly - just that she is frustrated. Putting her in the pack and play will keep her safe, and when you walk away, she will EVENTUALLY learn that you take attention away from her for her tantrum. Children like attention, whether it's positive or negative. You don't want to give negative attention - that just teaches your child that doing this gets them attention.

When your daughter starts talking, start saying to her "Use your words" when you see her getting frustrated. Daycares do this to try to help children say what they feel instead of hitting each other. They say it all the time, and I really mean all the time. It helps a child finally internalize it.

She's too little right now for this, but when she is older, you need to put labels on her feelings and acknowledge them. For example "You're sad that you can't go out and play today. Tomorrow if it isn't raining we can go out."

If she is teething, you'll eventually figure that out. It really helped my little ones when I gave them a dose of tylenol when they were teething. Turned them from little monsters back into my sweet kids. If giving her tylenol doesn't help, then you know this is just her personality.

Good luck!

It is not 'girl specific' like the other poster said. It is just how she is. Just keep consistent with setting the boundaries and stay on top of her bad behavior and don't let her get away with it.

~When all 3 of my kids were teething they would get a runny nose, that is how I could tell.

It may be teething, but sounds like she's just not liking any boundaries. It could also be she is getting frustrated that she can't communicate what she wants or needs to you.

It will pass, I definitely don't think this is something that is "girl" specific.

I agree with the suggestion for sign language.
I don't know if it will help, but it certainly can't hurt.

And I will be honest with some anecdotal "evidence"... I honestly do not recall either of my kids EVER doing the throw-themselves-on-the-ground tantrums that are so "normal" for kids. I also taught both my kids to use signs well before they were verbal. Perhaps there is a connection. Perhaps not and I just got really, really lucky that my kids never tantrummed. But maybe, just maybe, they were able to actually communicate some basic things to me in a meaningful way, rather than through a tantrum (the only means at the disposal of someone who cannot write or speak words).
Just a thought...

It's age appropriate. My dd is 6 and still whines. Temper tantrums are apart of it for that age and I hate to tell you it can last awhile. My dd didn't experience terrible 2's we went through terrible 3's. Good luck!!

My son was like this. What newer foods have you introduced? Maybe a food it making her uncomfortable and she is "letting" you know the only way she knows how? My son is now gluten free, and wow what a difference . Of course I did not notice this until he was about 4 1/2. He was my first and I just did not know. I can clearly see the difference with my daughter, She listens so much better. She is almost 2 so she is getting into the Mine stage and she is tossing a few tantrums, which we just ignore.

Some of this could be just the typically no words for what she wants, and there could be more than one trigger. It is summer time and different allergies etc..

Good luck.