Re: Advice for Raod Trip with 3 Little Ones

Updated on March 16, 2008
K.B. asks from Apopka, FL
6 answers

We will be driving up to NY/NJ to visit my father-in-law in the hospital and begin making final preparations (he has been fighting pancreatic cancer and Dr.'s have told us they have exhausted all treatment options). We have 3 young boys (3 yrs & 8 month old twins: my FIL has not yet seen the twins) who are generally very good in the car (we have a dvd player for our oldest). We looked into flying, but after airfare, renting a van, hassle at the airport, etc we decided it best to make the 17 hour drive in our own van. We are planning on leaving at night to get most of the drive done while the kids are asleep. This is our 1st major road trip with all 3 kids- any tips, ideas, or suggestions for making this as stress-less as possible are greatly appreciated. Also, if anyone has any suggestions for helping my husband through this very difficult time. Thank you!

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So What Happened?

Thank you very much for your wonderful responses! Our first road trip with the little ones went pretty well thanks to a lot of your suggestions (i.e. lots of snacks, sit in back with the kids, plenty of movies, small bag of toys, separate small bags for the kids, etc). We made several stops and discovered on the way up that straight through doesn't really work for our kids (they didn't sleep well at all) so we modified the trip back (stopped halfway in NC to stay at a hotel) and we were all in much better shape! As far as our visit, we had a wonderful time and took lots of photos and video of the kids with their Papa. It was totally worth the drive just to see his face light up when he held all 3 of his grandsons for the first time. Hospice started home care and is doing their best to make him as comfortable as possible. It was tough to see him like that, but know he is in loving hands and surrounded by family. We just may be able to brave another road trip in a few months if he is still with us...

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J.J.

answers from Orlando on

K.,

As far as the trip goes, unfortunately I don't have much advise, but leaving at night is right on track.

Last year, both my husband and I lost out fathers to lung cancer. One in August and one just a few days before Chrstmas. He needs to treasure every minute. Look past all of the medical equipment, treatments and medication. Talk about old memories, things they would have liked to do together, things they never said to each other that they wanted too. Remind him now is now a time to be a "strong man". Let his feelings out and tell is his dad everything in his heart. Do whatever his dad wants to to sped his time. If he wants to play golf, take him to the driving range even if he is in a wheel chair. The last memries will be ones that will last forever. They are as more for him than for his dad. I will pray for your family. LOts of luck on the drive and hopefully the trip will be memorable.

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D.R.

answers from Melbourne on

Dear K.,
As to your trip with the children, you have the right idea. Driving at night they will most likely sleep through the night, and traffic will be much better. So much less stress for all.
As for your husband, I'm not sure how far along the cancer is for your father-in-law, but I seen a segment on the Morning Show with Mike and Juliet about a woman with pancreatic cancer and how she beat it with alternative med. If you would like to maybe look into it the doctors web site is www.dr-gonzalez.com or you can go to www.mandjshow.com and click on "health" then on "a fight for her life". I keep all of ya'll in my prayers for a safe trip and that ya'll will get through your father-in-laws fight he has ahead of him.

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B.E.

answers from Orlando on

K., NUMBER ONE ~ Don't rush! You will get there when you get there. Bring a porta potty so your 3 year old can go in the van ~ if you cannot stop...otherwise...look at it as a FAMILY adventure ~ you probably will be stopping more than you'd prefer and that's OK...for the twins, just pack favorite books, toys, blankets...for the portable DVD ~ some of the Baby Eienstein videos...pack a sing along CD of funny songs that you and your hubby know that you can sing with your 3 year old as well. Pack sandwich bags full of cereal, too. You can do it! I wish I had advice for helping your husband. Just pray...Trust in God ~ He doesn't give you more than you can handle.

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L.W.

answers from Orlando on

REnt a DVD car player if you don't already have one. Since you have boys, you need some sort of pee bottle if your 3 year old is already potty trained. if not do not try to train him before you go; just wait till you get back. Plan on getting out and letting them run around awhile. Maybe night driving would not be best. Stressed husband and lack of sleep make bad combo.
when we went to PA, we got up at 4 am got dressed, got kids up as far as stuffing them from bed into car seats when we were ready to leave. we took a couplebreaks, but we also stayed overnight in a hotel in NC, then made the rest of the trip the next day. But you can do it in one. Plan to have plenty ofsnacks, and stuff to do.Plan on sitting in back with kids part of the way.

Don't have any suggestions for hubby, just god bless, and we will be praying for you...

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L.J.

answers from Orlando on

First off I would leave really early in the morning like 2 or 3. Get as far as you can before they wake up and want to eat breakfast.
I was given the advice also of giving them Dramamine or Benadryl to help them sleep.
The DVD player will be great for your eight month olds as well. We traveled to NC when out twins were a little older than that. The DVD player was a great distraction for them.
Also, if your three year old is potty trained(ing) bring along a potty for him. That way you don't have to use the nasty public restrooms along the highway (or any where else). Put a plastic bag in it like a liner then you can remove it and throw away the bag that way no clean up, no mess, and no scent.
Hope this helps.
L.

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J.U.

answers from Orlando on

Hi K.,
It sounds like you really have your ducks in a row on this one. The only other thing I think I might add is something that may or may not fit your personalities and/or sleep cycles. When my husband and I traveled back and forth to my parent's home which was about the same distance and with three little ones, we did find that travelling at night, so that the little ones slept, indeed made the trip less stressful; but it leaves the parents exhausted from no sleep. I expect your husband would really relish being rested and upbeat for his dad. The thing that worked the best for my husband and me was for him to do the driving during the late night hours when he functions best and for me to drive during the wee hours of the morning when I function best. We then could sleep when not driving, but only if our mate did not need us to talk so that there would be no nodding off at the wheel.
Also, after a night's sleep in the car, the children were rested and less cranky from the confined space because of being rested. You can clock off a lot of miles much more easily in the night when the traffic is not so heavy and the trucks are not so prolific - though the trucks do drive all night. I would look for more than one route in order to perhaps avoid some traffic.
You have probably already thought of all of the above, but use it as an encouragement. I pray for your stamina and for rest at your destination and help with your children. I pray that your visit is very special.

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