re-CALENDARING HOLIDAYS

Hi F.-

Yes...in MY home (with my huge crew) we have 'floating' birthdays...holidays...etc. If 'all' are not able to attend on a given date, we merely 're celebrate' the occasion when those absent are able to come...

Makes for MANY more mini celebrations...and we often have the 'b day' or holiday that 'will not end'...but have those you love celebrate 'whatever' when...when they can...works for us!

Example, eldest son is in Afghanistan...he will try to call...(and we have sent packages with consumables for Christmas)...BUT...when he comes home (in may or June) we will 're celebrate' then...with whomever can come...and re celebrate it AGAIN with those that couldn't.

Makes for LOTS of celebrations all year long.

Best Luck!
michele/cat

This year we are celebrating with my family the weekend before so everyone can be there. My ex and I have agreed to still split the kids for the holiday, but this way they'll be with my whole family for two days vs. just one so its working out great for us.

My ILs long long ago decided that it was more important to gather than the date on the calendar. So we are hosting them on the 24th (the "IL Christmas" this year) and will go to my family on the 25th and everyone is happy.

We did that when my daughter was little and I had three stepkids who lived in another state. We go tired of spending hours in the car between meeting to pickup the kids and trying to get together with my family and his all on the same day. So we decided to ignore the calendar and have holidays at our convenience. It was much less stressful for everyone.

Re-calendar? Yes we've always had to do this. But it's not to fit everyone's schedule...someone decides they want to host, they pick the date and time and if you can make you show up if you can't...catch ya next time. Catch ya next time is not mean or hurtful...we just don't get our panties in a wad when someone can't make it.

We all understand that life is busy, many of us have to travel some years...so we don't worry about it.

Why stress? It's a waste of time.

On my side of the family we do this now for Christmas. Christmas day with my Mom was a big deal. She gave up all the other holidays through the year, but Christmas DAY was her's with her kids and their families.

She passed away very suddenly on Thanksgiving day 5 years ago, alone as it turns out, due to her decision many years before to "give" us to our spouses families on all of these other holidays. Ever since then, we just can not stomach Christmas Day without her, so we do it the next weekend usually. This year it is Saturday Dec 29th. There is less stress, one can stop for napkins or to the liquor store if things run low of you forgot something, and not feel guilt or scramble for something open (or in the case of my husband, daughter and I, break a steadfast family rule/law we keep to that we absolutely do NOT go into any store or gas station on major holidays as we fell terrible that those people have to work and not be with their own families).

Birthdays are often the following weekend if the wider family gets together as well, just for ease of gathering!

I am so blest to have parents who just want to spend some time with us. They usually get the Saturday after Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. It seems to work out well with my in-laws and my brother's in-laws. My MIL gets the actual days (Thanksgiving and late afternoon on Christmas Day), so she's happy. We have Christmas morning with just the four of us before we journey to my MIL's house.

I think your aunt is very wise :-)

Christmas Day is always spent at home, with just my husband, my son and myself, this is a tradition that my siblings and I all follow. All of our family is out of state(luckily they are all in the same state), and after Christmas we travel to them and Christmas gets celebrated over the next week or so in 3 different house holds. Our family believes that when it comes to celebrating with family, a Holliday can be any day.

No we don't recalendar, we plan our family gatherings around when everyone can make it.

We always do something ON the holiday. BUT, if we need to, we move it around and celebrate twice. This year, my sister and her husband, plus my brothers long distance gf will both be in town Saturday night. That is when we will celebrate "Christmas Eve" and exchange family gifts at my parents house.

We've done it plenty of times before too :).

We are spending Christmas with friends so I am having our big dinner today when my oldest comes back from college. That means I have lots of left overs to feed the family this weekend.

You are a very lucky young lady!

My mom did it years ago. She has her family christmas party on the second saturday of December. Now we are still welcome on Christmas Eve or Christmas, but it takes all the stress out of the holiday. We all like birthdays, but since we were little we never had a party on our actual birthday it was always saved for a weekend that was better for everyone. You know who loves my mom's christmas party the most, the in-laws. Now they don't have to fight with their own parents over holidays and where to spend it. However, since it's the second saturday of december there is no reason to miss it and my mom does expect everyone to show up.

Once my sister, brother and I started having kids of our own, my wonderful parents decided that everyone should have the opportunity for the kids to wake up and come downstairs in their own house on Christmas Day, so we switched our Christmas to the weekend closest to Dec 18 which is my dad's birthday.

Of course now that we are in NJ and they are all still back in TX we just mail gifts and have our own new traditions with just the four of us. Too expensive and crazy in the airports to fly all that way for the holidays.

I think this is great. I always try to make a dinner for the kids and grandkids during the holidays, but their schedules are all over the place. I don't ever want my kids to feel stressed about spending any certain holiday with me, except my Birthday (12-24) then if they can only spend an hour I'm okay with it.
A few years in a row I made lasagna for dinner because they all love it and my recipe is huge. But now I have a daughter with Celiac's and granddaughter who can't have dairy, so I am re-thinking that one. I went out last night and grocery shopped --- big snow storm today -- I picked up a large ham another family favorite, I will see when they can all come over and have a ham dinner.

Yes, we do this too.
When kids grow up, get married and have kids of their own it's IMPOSSIBLE to get everyone together on the actual holiday, because of course everyone has in laws they want to see as well.
We care more about ALL of us being together than the actual date on the calendar. Nobody wants to miss one celebration to attend another.
And I LOVE Christmas morning home with my husband and kids :)
This year, it's the in laws on the 29th (about 50 people will be there) and my side on the 30th (smaller group, 15) I can't wait!

A few years back when my husband and I were coming home from my in laws house with a very cranky 6or 7 year old and even crankier 1or 2 year old and 2 very exhausted, miserable and now angry parents we looked at each other and declared we HATED Christmas! I then decided it was the last time Christmas would start when the kids got up (I think usually around 5:30am) and didn't end until 10pm or later. We now have multiple Christmas's. This year my husband works nights (Christmas Eve and Day included) so he will get home about 8am. We will do Christams with the children at home and then go to my parents house (across the driveway) for a "Brunch". We may do presents with them after (may not) and then hubby has to sleep. For dinner we are doing chili in the crockpot and my parents will come the other direction across the driveway to join us. We will do our second Christmas with his family on Sunday after Christmas. (His family only lives 5 miles away) but I will NOT hate Christmas again. It is Christ's birth and Birthday partys are suppose to be fun. Why not prolong the fun!!!!! We "re-calendar" holidays in a way to we just use a different word!!! It works good and kids don't care about a date on the calendar just the fun they have!

We try our best to have only ONE celebration, but it is getting harder and harder as more people move closer and want more of our time.

On a side note, I hate it when my family starts rescheduling holidays. Don't call me and say "let's do OUR Christmas in January." Christmas is December 25. If we can't see you then, that's completely fine, we can do gifts later. But for heaven's sake, put away the tree and don't make a ham, it's January! Ditto for birthdays. My mom is notorious for rescheduling things, so maybe I'm a little sensitive. :-)

We do try to do stuff on "the" holiday, but sometimes it changes, as needed. I think it's no different than having a school-aged child's birthday on the weekend so people can/will come to the party. 3 years ago was the best Christmas I've had so far. My youngest was born 11/29 and my mom came from LA, my dad from GA, my brother from CO. The only few times the whole family has gotten together in 20 years have been for my brother's graduation in '98, my oldest son's 1st birthday in '06, and then everyone coming together for my youngest son's birth in '09. Hasn't happened since, so it's RARE and special! With it being December when we were released from the hospital, and the Christmas tree was already up and decorated, gifts already bought/wrapped, I'd even made meals ahead of time and didn't "have to" cook for a month, even with guests, it just seemed fun and easy to celebrate Christmas a few weeks early, while everyone was happy and together anyway. While I rested with the baby, mom took my 3 year old to the kitchen and made cookies and her special punch with him, my brother, dad, and husband decorated the outside of the house, went deer hunting, cooked steaks. We went to take pictures with Santa, had a family portrait made, a couple friends came over to meet the baby, exchange gfits, enjoy our feast. In the morning, mom got to read to the kids and see them open "Santa" presents. It was wonderful! The Santa letter that came that year made mention that he'd already stopped by our house and hoped we liked our early Christmas since it was a special exception because of the baby. It also said that since my son was being such a big helper and a great big brother, he might leave one more gift on Christmas day, which he did. From then on, we just sort of work things out to fit us best. Usually, we always give a nod to the actual date (a private happy birthday song, a card or letter, their favorite meal cooked but then the party on a weekend that works better....or our anniversary, Valentine's Day, etc have a little leeway and can be a couple days earlier or later (as long as it's pre-planned and not just an "oops, I forgot" kind of thing there's no harm in it). We're easy. And this makes life easier for us too. We could have a lovely Valentine's date night when we aren't tired from a day of work and worried about going to bed in time to go to work tomorrow...go ahead and spring for an extra round of drinks or go dancing without worrying, or we could force the issue and pay crazy prices for high-demand babysitters that one day, stand in line hours for a restaurant, already a little tired and feeling "ugly" after being at work or "mom" all day......BLECH. Just makes sense to me!

We *kinda* do this with my In-laws with Christmas...and I love it! We still get to have our very own Christmas at our house and do stuff with my side of the family and then we go down to the in-laws a couple days later and have Christmas part 2...which my kids just adore!!

The only people it is kinda hard on is my stepsons...b/c they have Christmas w/their Mom & then their Grandparents (mom's parents) and then their step-dad's parents, and then us and by the time our in-laws christmas comes along they are working on Christmas Part 5....they loved it when they were little (I think it spoiled them rotten) but now that they are 21 & 18 it's kinda hard on them...I can only imagine how difficult it is going to be on them when they get married and have to incorporate their spouse's families too!!

my ILs celebrate the 2nd weekend in December, which leaves the 3rd weekend for one family birthday & then Christmas for each of their immediate families. Sooo, basically, other than the 1st weekend their schedule is full.

My family celebrates differently each year, based on the day my sis has custody. Regardless of Christmas Eve/Day, we make sure some of us are with Gr Gma (she'll be 92 in Feb) on Christmas Day. & the weekend before Christmas is a special day with my paternal/extended family. This works out great, because my uncle's kids are the same age as my family & my sister's.

Sooo, our schedule is 1st weekend: small town parade, with my son marching with Band/Scouts. 2nd weekend: IL Christmas. 3rd weekend: my extended family party. & then Christmas with Mom, Gma, & my Sis. This year we have Sunday & Monday free on our schedule....& we're looking forward to random acts of kindness & spontaniety.

Love how this all works out! & until her death, my MIL also joined us for Christmas Eve/Day with my family. A blessing.

Yes, my extended family does this for xmas. We gather on the first Saturday after new year's day. This way, everyone can come, is more relaxed, and can enjoy themselves. It does leave my Dec calendar a little empty, but I'd rather wait and then see everyone. (My nieces children, for instance, have FOUR SETS of grandparents, none living in the same town.)

Technically Christmas is twelve days long, so you are still celebrating Christmas during Christmas.

We have started celebrating on Boxing Day with my brothers family and just staying home on Christmas. We used to go to my brothers on Christmas day, but his mother-in-law is too old and sick to host Christmas Eve now, so my SIL now hosts Christmas Eve for her family at their house. She doesn't want to cook dinners two days in a row, so she moved us to Boxing Day so she gets a day off in between.

If I thought I could get away with it I would postpone gift giving and opening until the evening of the 26th so we could buy everything 50% off.

I can't forsee what I will do. But I'm not opposed to re-Calendaring the holiday. I think its a great idea though!

YES!

We will alter holidays when our calendar is messy. Normally the Months of May and June are the worst for us. With Birthdays, Mom and Dad Day, End of the Year School Events and vacations.

Also we have a few other holidays we now celebrate here....Which bring more then awesome events our families way.....

September 17th- Occupy Wall Streets Birthday-Celebrated by gathering at our local Occupy site(wherever it stood)

October 15th-Occupy Tacoma's Birthday ''The day we took our park''-This is a weekend long celebration. Food, Music, Speakers and so much more.

These two holidays are now in the ranks with Christmas and Birthdays.

I think it is cheaper to do holidays off the calendar. Always wait until AFTER the holiday to buy said decor, food and party stuff.........not the best pick of the stuff....but 75% off is what matters:)

F. B., I think that is a great idea, if it keeps family harmony and makes it easier on the hostess.
I'm really writing, though, to respond to JessicaWessica's erroneous and rather unnecessarily nasty comment about using "calendar" as a verb. Nouns are frequently made into verbs and are accepted as a usual and appropriate part of English grammar. Check out any reputable dictionary, and it will show you that "to calendar" is, in fact, a verb form of the word, "calendar." It is used in many different contexts and situations - in the legal profession, it is commonly used when discussing the scheduling of hearings and briefing deadlines (the hearing will be calendared for a certain date, for example, and may be re-calendared for another date if it needs to be changed). Granted, the holidays are not actually "re-calendared," but your use of that term in a casual question did not merit an insulting response from anyone.
I hope you have fun on your re-calendared holiday celebration.