I need help trying to get my daughter to sleep. About a week ago, she woke up in the middle of the night for the first time in over 4 months. Once she was awake and crying, she managed to get herself up on her knees for the first time and took forever to go back to sleep. Since then, she does not go down for naps or bedtime without a fight. She gets herself up on her knees and throws a fit. She will fall asleep in my arms with me rocking her, but does not stay asleep if I try and put her in her crib. (She will eventually fall asleep and stay asleep if my husband rocks her and puts her down. She also use to go to sleep on her own). Her naps are only about 30 minutes long and maybe twice a day; if we are lucky enough to get her to take them. She use to nap for at least 2 1/2 to 3 hours a day.
At night time, she does just fine with her normal bedtime routine and will usually go down just fine. Both my husband and I have been successful in putting her down. But from the time she goes down for the night she wakes up two to five times with the last time being around 3:30 to 4 am. She does not go back to sleep after that. It feels like we are back to the infant stage again.
Some factors that definitely are causing her to be this way are that: she just started the phase where she is attached to mom and she has has stranger-danger that goes along with that, she has learned to get up on her knees and sometimes her feet, she has learned to get angry, and probably most importantly, she is over-tired.
How do I get my daughter back on a schedule, to fall asleep on her own again, to stay asleep longer and simply to be happy again?
I've heard that as a baby aquires new skills, it may disrupt their sleep pattern. (Same with teething, etc) SOme babies sleep more and some sleep less. Have you tried soothing music, or a bath before sleep? How about a crib activity center to keep her amused until she puts herself back to sleep? Otherwise, as painful as it is, let her cry it out. Good luck!
I think it is between being scared, teething or simply knowing there is so much more fun to be had awake than in bed stuck in her crib! Plus one thing I read that made sense is if they wake in the mid of the night and conditions are different (not in your arms, different room...) they will get scared. They have to fall asleep where they will stay all night. It's normal to wake during the night. They have to learn nothing happens when they wake and whine and to put themselves back to sleep. If you keep picking her up or giving her the atttention, it will never end. It may feel good to rock her to sleep, but you'll have to do it over, and over, and over. I've been there and believe me the lack of sleep catches up to you making you an irritable person!
I had to learn that crying from pain or fear is different than the whining-crying to get their way. My 14 mo old had to be sleep trained at 9 mos, and yes, I let her whine-cry, it is very hard to do. I slept on her floor for 2 weeks. Still, for naps, I give her her blankie and put her down with a kiss and walk out. She whines for a whole minute or so then naps.
At night, she sleeps thru now, but was waking before at 4-5am. I let her whine a little and she put herself back to sleep.
Unless she is sick or hurt or in pain, she is learning to get her way as kids will always try to do!
i can't give you any advice since my child is younger than yours, but i can recomend a good book. it is called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and was written by a sleep disorder specialist at children's memorial.
good luck.
Hi,
A little about me I'm a SAHM of a 3 year old daughter & 18 month old son. So with this in mind I've done alot of reading cause everything was a question for when I was raising my daughter. Well, I'm not claiming to be an expert but I once read that when a child learns something new (getting up on her knees or feet) this tends to be a whole new experience and they want to continue thier new exercise over and over since it's new. I'm guessing after about a couple of weeks once this isn't something new anymore, she'll tend to fall back on to her schedule or some kind of schedule. This too they tend to change often during the 1st year. I wish you the best of luck I don't think it's a huge concern but if your worried mention this to your peditrician. I hope I was able to help.
E.
Hi Jen,
Maybe try giving her a dose of Motrin before bed? She may be teething, or having a growing spurt, and she may be experiencing some pain. My son went through this (he is 16 months old now), and I was at my wits end trying to figure out what was wrong. A friend suggested the Mortin or Tylenol before bed, and it seems to help a lot. Good luck and let us know how she is doing!
Hi Jen-
I went through the exact same problem with my son (now 12 months) when he was about 9 months old. I consulted the book my pediatrician gave us "American Academy of Pediatrics Caring For Your Baby and Young Child". There's a ton of great info in this book and it always reminds me that whatever challenge we happen to go through is normal and gives advice on what to do.
A very abbreviated version (see pages 258-259 if you pick up the book)for what they suggest is this:
As separation anxiety intensifies she will start to resist going to bed and wake up more often during the night (4-6 times a night) looking for you.
She just needs to know that you are still there when she wakes up. And she needs you to teach her how to fall back to sleep on her own.
They suggest to not do anything to "reward" her for calling for you during the night. They suggest going to her side to show her that you are still there (and make sure that there isn't something really wrong with her).
I go in, give my little guy a hug tell him I love him but that it's time to sleep. I lay him back down and walk out. I go back in every 5- 10 minutes. Beware that she will be MAD when you walk out but eventually she'll learn to put herself to sleep with little to no crying. It's an EXHAUSTING process but it worked for us. Also beware that she may revert back to doing this each time a tooth comes in (we've just gone through it the past 2 weeks with tooth #9). If you figure out that it is a tooth ( I think another poster mentioned this) Tylenol may help her to go to sleep more smoothly and not wake up quite as often.
Sorry for the super long post. I hope this helps!
I agree with the previous poster.
Check out "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth.
Believe it or not, you have a very intelligent 8 month old girl. She already knows what to do to get you to get her up. Dpn't fall for it. Check her to be sure she's o.k. but put her down and stay out of the room. Close the door if you have to and let her cry herself to sleep. She'll give up and learn the lesson also. Have a mobile or something she can play with or soothe her screams. "Giving in" to her will keep her bad behavior going in other circumstances. Don't buy into it. It's not mean and your lack of sleep will only make you crabby and not a good mommy.
Jen, my daughter went through phases like that right before she learned how to crawl and right before she learned how to walk. Sometimes she was scared when she learned new things and just needed to be comforted. It was temporary (but, sorry, I can't remember how long it lasted).
Sometimes teething can be a huge factor in night waking. And babies do get growing pains just like older children. I know it can be torture at times, but I would just keep rocking her to sleep, put her in her crib about 10 minutes after she's out. If she wakes again, just start all over. I would just take deep breaths and pray "Please God!" He understands. It won't last forever, I promise. I have a 17, 15 and 6 year old.
Hope this helps,
T.
It sounds like this may be a tough love situation. I'm not suggesting not going in at all when she wakes up, but to not pick her up or rock her. This is what we did with our daughter. I couldnt stand to just let her scream- she'd cry til she threw up all over the place anyway. So I read a book that said to keep a clock handy and go in a check on them every 5-10 min. It lets them know you are there and its ok, but that you are putting your foot down, its time to go back to sleep. Eventually they do get tired and lay down on their own. She's going to get really mad, but its OK to be mad. She is not going to be in any true distress like in pain, or scared. Just really ticked off.
And I'm with the other person about trying a pain killer. If she is teething it may bug her more when she is just laying there with no distractions available. Motrin lasts 6-8 hours, so that's a better bet than tylenol.
Maybe with all of the changes that have gone on recently it might be a good idea to put all potty-training on the back burner. You might try to come up with some kind of chart that keeps track of good behavior and then offer him a poker chip for his efforts. He can then redeem these chips (however you decide) for a small treat/reward. Just an idea....
Don't worry! In time she will stop waking up. All four of my kids went through this phase and it eventually stopped only to happen again at different times in thier developement. I always guessed it to be little overactive minds that wake up and are alone. I am not one to let my kids cry themselves to sleep. I just could never do that so I always would do as you are doing and sit with them until they felt comforted and fell asleep. If it is you and your husband she is missing put her down for her naps in your bed or give her a blanket that has your scent in her crib maybe nap time will last a little longer! My youngest is 19 months old and he is my most independent but still has his mommy moments.
