Recommend Books for Building Self-esteem for Boys

Updated on June 03, 2010
C.W. asks from Minneapolis, MN
9 answers

My son just turned 7. Sometimes he gets down on himself about schoolwork and his own behavior.

I'm trying to find the balance between being genuinely encouraging and complimentary when he's doing well (catching him being good) and correcting when things are not so good (picking a fight with his sister, being defiant). But I'm not perfect.

Sometimes he gets so down on himself, he spirals into "You don't love me. You hate me. You think I'm stupid. etc." I've never said these things but apparently from how we (his family) have said things, reacted to things, etc., he's gotten that message.

He's bright, funny, clever and has lots of good qualities and I want some strategies for helping him hear the good stuff but to understand that we aren't attacking him when things aren't so good.

Has anyone read any books that help parents raise their child's self-esteem and also help them look at ways they might be inadvertently hurting their child's self-esteem?

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Featured Answers

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

He sounds like a perfectionist. And like any child/human... he is affected by remarks others critique him with or when he is always 'compared' to others.

If you go to Amazon.... there are MANY books about raising boys.
Just put in the search words "raising boys" and many will come up AND you can read the reviews of it all, there.
www.amazon.com

all the best,
Susan

More Answers

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

Look at the Love and Logic dvd's

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A.

answers from Minneapolis on

A lot of this is typical developmental 7-year old behavior. Look into this book: http://www.amazon.com/Your-Seven-Year-Old-Life-Minor-Key/...

Keep on catching him at the good stuff. Try to avoid empty praise - be specific about what it is that he's doing that you like, and show that you're paying attention by noticing details. And keep reminding him how much you love him. Try to spend some one-on-one with him.

When he's down on himself about something specific, set up opportunities for success. If he's had a fight with his sister, maybe you can help him figure out a really good way to make up to her.

L.G.

answers from La Crosse on

I know he is not a teen yet, but I recommend "The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers" by Gary Chapman. It sounds to me like your son is misinterpreting messages, and that is often because we as parents do not communicate in our child's love language.

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A.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

My 8 year old is very much the same way! Hopefully it helps you a little bit just knowing that he is not unusual. There is also a 5 Love Languages for Children, which may be a better fit for a kid your son's age.

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J.R.

answers from Miami on

Dr Sear's "The Successful Child"

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

There is a book called The Wonder of Boys by Michael Gurian is good.

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