Registry for 1St Birthday Party??

Updated on September 04, 2011
L.W. asks from Long Beach, CA
44 answers

Hello,

I just wanted to gather some opinions on the issue of registries for birthdays. I am used to recieving registry info for baby showers and weddings, but had never seen one for a birthday. We recently received an invite to a friend's child's 1st birthday party. On the invite, it states that the son is registered at two different retailers. I checked out the registries and on one there are outdoor items like an umbrella and umbrella stand as well as a kid-sized picnic table. There's even a request for a wall shelf. On the other site the requests are more for toys, but several items are large and cost over $100. I definitely have my own opinions but I would like to hear from other parents on 1) the idea of having a registry for a birthday and 2) registering for large, costly items and/or home decor items.

Thanks for your input!

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A.G.

answers from Albuquerque on

Holy smokes! I just had my twins 1st birthday party & I told guests that gifts were not required but if they wanted to bring something I gave them diaper & clothing sizes... A registry for any kids party seems greedy to me

4 moms found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I typically do that for Christmas each year, really just to give ideas to the folks that are going to be buying gifts for the kids.

So I think it depends on how it's "meant". If it's a demand list...different story. But if she's trying to give folks a list of ideas that her kid might like to play with, I think it's a pretty good idea.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Tacky, tacky, TACKY!!!. This is basically asking for gifts, which is incredibly rude. How are kids going to learn basic manners when we no longer enforce them and allow them to do things like request gifts?

3 moms found this helpful

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K.P.

answers from New York on

So tacky. My family lives all over the country and they pick up the phone to find out what our son needs/wants- or email. I would NEVER do this. So rude to put any mention of gifts on an invite, let alone on a child's birthday party invitation- especially when that child had nothing to do with the registry!

3 moms found this helpful
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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I'm sorry but this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of. In my opinion, the only people who should be invited to a 1-year-old's birthday party is family and very close friends. We are creating a bunch of spoiled monsters in this country. In fact, kids don't even know how to play anymore unless we set up a "playdate" or sign them up for a baby class. Pathetic.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I do this for my kid's. I make Target Wish Lists. I also make these lists for Christmas. There are relatives that prefer to shop online and want ideas. Plus, when my kids sees something online or in the store I can say 'we'll put it on the list', go home and do just that so I'm not lying. I don't mention it on invites, but when a relative calls and asks what they'd like, I mention it or send them the link.

As for the larger and decor items, I can understand that too. Those are probably more for the family members that want to do a group gift. When they were 1 I put diapers and formula on the lists too. When my daughter was 3 we redecorated her room and put items on the list for family that wanted to help.

For my daughter's 1st, I had a convertible car seat on her list.

I always say that the lists are mainly ideas. Buy from them if you want, if not, you can see what types of things they like.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I think it is super tacky.

Get a simple little something that is age appropriate....I remember one birthday when my one year old played forever with stacking buckets he got. That was the BEST gift. ANd probably under 15 bucks. Heck..all my kids still love stacking those things...and they are waaaaay older.

Get what YOU want to get the child...not what the parents want for their home.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

The past couple of years for Christmas I have created Amazon wishlists for my children. I only share them with family. I do not register for large items (maybe those were geared toward family on your friend's list?), mostly small toys and books. It helps me keep a running list through the year if I hear of an award winning item or something. It gives them an idea of what is appropriate since we have received very age inappropriate gifts in the past. The lists are appreciated since before we did this we always got a lot of questions about what to get. I don't know that I would share them with friends unless they asked. Maybe just get a gift card to one of the stores?

2 moms found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Boston on

I think registries are tacky. I just got an ivitation to a child's party that has one. When I buy a gift I include a gift reciept with a gift, get a gift card or do cash.
I don't particularly like registries for anything even showers.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Honestly, I think it's unbelievably tacky on so many levels.

1 - You do not register for birthdays. A birthday is not a "gift grab." It's a celebration of a birth. While it is often traditional to give a gift at such an occaision, you never *expect* it.
2 - You never *NEVER* include registry information in an invitations. Ever.
3 - Shelving units? Seriously? A 1 year old does not want shelving units for his birthday. Who is this about? Is it about celebrating with the baby? Or is it about getting loot for the parents.

Tacky, tacky, tacky.

Were I faced with a similar situation, I might be inclined to make a charitable donation in the name of the child and let them know in a lovely card.

2 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

maybe give the parents the benefit of the doubt, lots of relatives are asking and some will want to go in together and purchase a big item???

2 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Ah NO! I would go to ToysRUs and get an age appropiate gift or outfit. This sounds like a gift grab to me!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Detroit on

Ugh. Tacky. That's what gift receipts are for, not registries.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.B.

answers from San Francisco on

One word: RIDICULOUS

2 moms found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

I personally agree with Momma W. This is ridiculously tacky.

But then I also think that a 1st birthday party ought to be a close family affair only. The baby won't remember it, so inviting the whole neighborhood is really just a selfish way to get gifts.

And don't get me started on baby showers and weddings. Ugh.

Anyhow, just get something simple that will be well-loved. Remember those popcorn popper things that you'd push across the floor? I love mine and so did my kids. But my parents hated it...heheheheh (evil grin!).

2 moms found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have never heard of this before but it is crazy. Those parents just want other people to pay for things they want. Obviously a one year old does not know what they want and if they did they would not ask for furniture. I would get a gift certificate to one of those places in a reasonable amount ($20? $25?) and they can put it toward what they want to buy. Or you can just buy what you want regardless. As the children get older, you can call the parents and ask what the children may want but we normally go with a gift card to Toys R Us or Target so the kids can pick out their own presents. I'm with you on this one.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

No no no no no. And no.

Our friends spend between $10-$20 on toddler party gifts, and give whatever they think the kid will like. If I dont have an idea, I ask the mom, and she gives suggestions. Grandparents give bigger gifts and I might give some suggestions, since this is normally the "special" gift.

And yes, I am quite sure all of the parents have at one time or another re-gifted a toy their child received as a duplicate.

No registry. Silly. I dont normally use this word, but also tacky.

1 mom found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I think it is tacky. Those people want too many things things things! A birthday party is about celebrating your child turning that age. It is NOT about gifts.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Austin on

Gifts are discouraged at our birthday parties for our LOs let alone registries? Seriously?

I have a wish list for my oldest but I don't advertise it. It's mainly a reminder/idea list I keep up with so I can remember gift ideas for xmas and birthdays.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from San Diego on

In our culture, first birthdays are a big celebration. Its bigger than baby showers and second only to weddings. So, yes we invite a lot of people but am yet to see a registry for birthdays. I made a registry for my baby shower but I strictly told my hosts not to list it in the invite. It was more for me to keep a track of what to buy and what not. I don't like the idea of asking for gifts. If my parents/siblings ask, I tell them what my little one wants otherwise they just give her a gift card to Toysrus/Target/Amazon etc.

1 mom found this helpful

J.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

repulsive. That was my gut reaction to the question, and I feel further repulsed reading your question further. My birthday party invites say "no gifts please".

1 mom found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Is it just me or does this one take the cake? I don't know why this offended me so much? Just seems so greedy and pretentious - do these parents live in Coda De Caza or Beverly Hills? A one year old likes to play with blocks, mommy wants and umbrella stand.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Charleston on

Hate it unless it is only for immediate family members. I can understand that when you have grandparents bugging you for ideas, and you don't want them getting the same things.

Asking friends to buy 1st birthday presents such as an umbrella & stand is more for the parents than the kid. Greedy, tacky, over the top. Ridiculous in my opinion!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think Birthday registries are a fine idea. Especially at one year old. Kids of all ages have different likes/dislikes, wants and needs. It becomes overwhelming to the birthday child's parent to receive a ton of calls asking what the child likes or is into. It is also overwhelming to receive a ton of gifts that you know your child will not use or appreciate. I think that the registry is a good fit for all, the gift giver can be assured they are choosing what is wanted and the receiver has a chance to get some things they picked out. Even if you tell people gifts are optional most are uncomfortable with that and will bring something anyway. The idea of sending the registry with the invitation just covers all the bases, if you want to use it great, if you don't want to use it great. Registering for large item's helps out if a few people don't want to spend a lot so they go into it together. Or if grandma wants to do something bigger. To each their own, but I don't see it as tacky. :)

1 mom found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

No I wouldn't do this, I do like the idea of keeping a wish list. But my daughter is three and too young for that right now. Maybe when she is older, but even then it would just be a handwritten one, and then only shared with people who ask.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

It may be that they have a lot of relatives and kept getting asked what the child needed. I can see how it would be helpful. The large items I'm sure are intended for relatives like grandparents to consider.

There's no rule you have to stick to the registry. You can use it as a reference to see what they have in mind, but go with what you want to give.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

It's soooo super tacky. Really, what is going on with birthdays?! Did she register him/her for a new car too?

Miss Manners recently addressed this(and I doubt for the first time) by saying noone should be told what to purchase as a gift.

If someone inquires about likes/dislikes or requests, then you can mention a few small ticket items.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Redding on

We didn't have parties for our kids for the gifts.
They got plenty from Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, Auntie...
The parties are for fun and celebration, not gifts.
Yes, some kids that came brought gifts, but some just brought hand made cards which was fine as well because we specified on the invitation that no gifts were necessary. My kids had more than enough "stuff". They got plenty from family as it was.
I personally think a registry, especially for a first birthday, is pretty ridiculous.

Just my opinion.

1 mom found this helpful
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N.W.

answers from Chicago on

Man...I'm late to respond but WOW? Sounds like mom has her eye set on a few things for the child that she can't really afford and want to push it off on a "birthday" gift. Seriously, what does a one year old want to do with a wall shelf? She would have done better just asking for gift cards...then who cares what she does with them?

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K.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I believe the correct term for these would fall under the category of "wish lists". I think they're a great idea and my children 12 and 6 both have them for birthdays and Christmas. I encourage them because there is nothing worse then people spending money on something that my child will immediately throw in the Good Will pile. Since the parents are the ones who know what their child likes and would get a lot of use out of, a wish list simply guides others in the right direction. I don't usually share my children's wish lists with friends (only family) unless they ask, but it sounds like more people are steering in this direction. I would think that the more costly items on the list are probably for relatives like Grandparents who might want to spend a little more money. After all is said and done, it's simply just a list of suggestions and I'm sure the parents aren't expecting you to purchase something beyond your means for their child.

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J.J.

answers from Phoenix on

whatever happend to inviting the neighbor kids over and having cake and ice cream in the backyard.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Real... tacky.

I would never do that, for a Birthday party.
Even if it is for a 1st birthday party.
What an attitude of entitlement.

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

I guess when I invite people to my child's party I'm doing it because I would like them present to celebrate my child. I don't expect gifts for my kids; I figure that's my job. If people ask (and oh my goodness it makes me crazy that my MIL NEVER DOES!!!) I'll have ideas for them, mostly because we try really hard to keep a handle on how many different types of toys the kids have.

Obviously, this family had some pretty specific ideas about what their child might like for their birthday, but for me, I don't appreciate the assumption that I "owe" their child a gift.

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

Wow. Registering for a birthday party, child or otherwise, takes a lot of gall and balls.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Registries are intended to provide ideas of things an individual likes or might need to give those who choose to buy a gift a starting point. For weddings I heard to put "whatever your heart desires" cuz you won't get it if you don't tell people you want it. To me it sounds like that is what they did. I registered for my wedding and baby showers but never for my kids party. Some people gave from the registry, some did not. No Biggie. I am not completely opposed to the idea. It is good for people like my great aunt who we do not see often (family functions, like birthdays) who may not know my children or what they want. It brings the giver joy to her to see my kids open a gift and like it which is probably why my great Aunt does a gift and not a gift card. It might be nice even for parents to get ideas for a gift for friends. Saves me a question of "what does your kid want/what do you want your kid to get for their bday" question. (I always tell people I'll take clothes over toys for my kids, hehe) Although I NEVER feel obligated to purchase gifts from registries. On the flip side registering for expensive items for a child's 1st bday that may not even be approprite birthday gifts (the shelves and stuff) seems a bit much. Possibly even selfish?

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J.E.

answers from San Diego on

I put together "wish lists" for my girls birthdays & christmas. I do let family members know that this is out there "for thier reference" if they want to use it. This basically heads off all the questions from the get go...what sizes is she wearing (clothes & shoes)?, what toys does she like to play with?, etc.
My family/friends always thanks me for the suggestions, and says that it makes it so much easier to get them something that they know they will like.
I, however, would never put anything on thier lists that cost so much...I think that is a little tacky.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

People can register for what they want, you aren't obligated to buy everything on the list. Big ticket items are probably for the close family - the grandparents/aunts/uncles if that's what their budget is. They don't mean for you to spend $100 but the registry is for everyone. I don't have a problem with asking for kiddie items that are not toys - clearly they don't want to be overrun with too many toys and some people might actually prefer to give a practical gift. Choose something from the registry that you can afford and would like to give. While there were not kid registries at that age for my children, I would not be offended to received such an invitation now. I would be relieved that I didn't have to guess at what the child might like, what they have/don't have already, etc. People are not expected to buy the highest priced items on a registry just because those items are there, they are there because some people (such as grandparents) have a higher budget for the gifts

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

I'm late to respond too, but can't help it. It is tacky and materialistic. I only give out birthday ideas when I'm asked for them, otherwise I assume the person has something in mind and am fine with whatever. Yikes. I feel bad because you have to assume the family is struggling a bit financially, and wants to be practical in getting gifts that can benefit the family (i.e. parents) as opposed to gifts the child won't use. Yikes. I hop this does not become a trend.

J.B.

answers from Houston on

Crazy! I have never heard of such a thing!

B.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think registering for a birthday party is ridiculous, honestly.

I was just invited to a first birthday as well an they registered. I don't think it is necessary. People are going to bring gifts to a party. If they don't like it, they can return it. I think it is weird.

We are having my son's first birthday here next month and we definitely did not register. People can bring whatever they want. We are mostly celebrating me and my husband and that we survived the first year haha!

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K.K.

answers from San Diego on

Hello, I think to register for a child's birthday is very rude. A relative recently mentioned on facebook that she wanted a stroller to use to walk her two young kids so she could lose weight. This is her third child. She even went so far as to mention what website to find it on and the price range. This is someone who has been so rude to me. Several of us found this to be rude and wondered how we had missed seeing what made this person so important that she could just ask for something so expensive. I felt that she had many months to save up for this item and should have bought it.
I always stressed that a party was for celebrating the birth of a person. When one of our kids was having a party and a child had not brought a gift, another child was making fun of this child. I stepped in and made it very clear that it was not for presents that we have a party, but that it is to celebrate the birthday child.
K. K.

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D.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

On the one hand, I would never do that, and putting gifts on there at that price is obscene. However, it may be suggestions for family members that can spend that much, so I guess, it can't hurt. The biggest negative for those who do it is that it gives a poor impression to others, so that is the risk they take.

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K.F.

answers from Cleveland on

I would never do a registry for a birthday because I do think most find it to be tacky, however I wish more people would do them. I have a hard time buying for other people most of the time and it would be a lot easier if I had a list of things they need/want. Registering for large, costly items or home decor items is ridiculous though!!!

B.S.

answers from Lansing on

I don't know, the only thing I see tacky about it, is sending it out to everyone. I am not opposed to doing the list and then when someone asks pointing it out.

Maybe it will become something of the future. I'm sure bridal and/or baby registries didn't start out the way they are now.

I don't do this for birthdays, but I know with my girls birthdays coming up, I have people asking me what to get them. Also, its easy to tell one or two people but then I start having a hard time coming up with things. And on top of that people who don't ask in my girls lives tend to go for bead sets. We sure do have a lot of them and its something they both need help with still to the point I'm the one making the whole item. So I'm keeping those up high for a little while longer.

Also, we are going to a birthday party for a little girl we aren't super close with and the first thing I did was ask what type of things she likes/needs.

So although, I think its a bit tacky sending it in the invites, I don't find it completely ridiculous.

(Oh and this past Christmas my SIL convinced me to make one for the kids, so that she could use it. My MIL and brother ended up using the list too.)

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