Regression in Potty training..where Do I Go Now?

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The best potty training advice I was ever given with my son was to stop. I thought my friend was crazy, what about the progress we had made? Then one afternoon I found myself down right angry about cleaning pee off the floor. When my friend reminded me I was losing it over pee, I started to see her point. I stopped potty training. Went to pull ups. If HE brought it up, I gladly took him to the potty. But I no longer mentioned it. We took a break for a month or two. When we went back to it, it was a breeze. I was calmer. He was more relaxed, a bit more "mature" and definitely more ready. It took no time at all to potty train after our break. So if you are starting to lose it, I say take a break.

In child care we don't even start the kiddo's until they're 3. She's so young! She is doing very well for her age. I would say you'll need to be prepared to just keep cleaning up the pee until she's old enough to really understand her body is telling her it's time to go and then she has to recognize it's time.

I would also tell you that it's still your job at this time to keep reminding her about every 20-30 minutes. You've seen that she's not going to go on her own so you have to commit to telling her it's time to go or to just plan on cleaning up the accidents. I would not put her back in pull ups unless you don't do well with the reminding her part.

People may disagree with what I did, but it worked. Hershey Kisses. I had/still have/ the most stubborn contrary adhd child imaginable. 3 y.o. and he probably would be content to wear a diaper to this day if it meant he could fish and play without interuption. But he looooooves chocolate. So I did what my SIL did - bought a huge glass vase and filled it to the brim with colorful Hershey kisses. The deal was simple. Everytime he went in the toilet, he got a kiss. He was going 15 times a day to start out. Then as the novelty wore off, he was still going 7-8 times a day. I didn't care if it was only drop, i was reinforcing the behavior. After about 6 weeks, he had fully trained himself without, and about then the kisses ran out. He pointed out that we needed to buy more because the vase was empty. "No honey, we don't! That just means you are potty trained now!" "Oh!" he said. And went on his merry way. (I'll admit I was expecting a fight but was pleasantly surprised.)

An added benefit was all the dexterity he gained unwrapping all those little candies during that time:)

If you're not going back to diapers, then no pull-ups. They are just diapers that are put on a different way. Your daughter will recognize them as diapers and then you be at square -1.

Keep her in the underwear and take her potty every 30 minutes. When she gets tired of having to stop what she's doing to go sit on the toilet every 30 minutes, she'll go back to going when she has to.

When this first started, it was new and fun. The novelty has now worn off. Now you have to make it worth her wild to go potty.

Well my first thought was diapers!! But then I saw your last sentence! Anyway, just from your whole feel of your post it does sound like you may have a bit more invested in this personally than may be helpful in the whole process. Like thinking of how awesome it will be to not have to deal with diapers/ pull ups etc. Or whatever happiness her being trained will bring to your life. Which of course as a parent I totally understand!!!! But I found when I took myself out of the whole thing and just completely focused on what was going on with my son, it was so unbelievably easy. No stickers, no charts, no praise, just poo and pee, easy. My first was about 2.5 and it got nuts when he suddenly wasn't going regularly anymore. So after pulling my hair out and everybody getting all stressed out, I put him in diapers and didn't even sweat it. We revisited the issue when he was about to turn three and he was wearing underwear with absolutely no problem at his 3 yr old bday party. 'Training' took three days, it was awesome. So, maybe if you can deal with it, just close the subject for a bit, I seriously doubt she will care and it may just relieve any pressure associated with it. Now my second is 2.5 and he goes potty when he wants to but I am not even going to press it all until he is about to be three. I know he wants to but I have seen that he is not quite physically there yet, so no biggie. Anyway, whatever you do, she will be trained in just a handful of months at this point, so you are very close to the end!!! Good luck :)

Question for you: Even though she did very well after one week, how did she do so well? Did she, of her own volition with NO prompting from you, go to the bathroom each time, or did you give prompts?

At her age, it is expected that you will need to give her prompts. And even then, she may be reluctant at times to go (even when she needs to) because she is involved in something she doesn't want to stop doing.

I wouldn't say that you need to use a timer, because, really, you don't. But you do need to be very observant and keep mental track of when the last time she went was, and what she has had to eat/drink since then. Then, if it has been awhile (especially if she is deeply involved in something) speak to her (no accusing!) and ask her, "DD, it's been a while since you went potty. Maybe you should go see if you can use it now. You can start back right where you were with ___(whatever activity she is doing) as soon as you get back. Do you want me to come with you?"

It takes all the pressure off:
*no giving up her activity (you've promised it can resume right after pottying)
*no having to go it alone (you've offered to keep her company)
*no having to manage it all by herself (you can be there to help or remind her of anything she is unsure about)

The biggest thing when my son was that age and training was to encourage him to interrupt an activity and go with him... saying "Let's go ___" as I reached out my hand to gently direct him towards the bathroom as needed.

Good luck.

I am so sorry to hear the frustration about the potty training. It is so hard when all the time and effort that you are putting in seems to be going right down the toilet that you are hoping your child will use! I have a suggestion and I hope that this works. I think you need to explain to your daughter in very simple terms that a child can understand that using the potty is what she NEEDS to do....it is not an option, it is a MUST! I had to do this to my second child when backsliding occurred and frustration set in. I basically had to sit her down and tell her that enough was enough....we use the potty and it's not going away anytime soon. My child had problems with pooping so we are opposite in that respect but no matter what is going on, once they know how to use the toilet, there's no reason for them to stop. Backsliding is usually a control issue where your child has learned that they control what is going on...not you. It's time to sweeten the pot and also up the expectation level. Tell her that good things come to potty trained kids. They get to go to the "big girl" class at school, wear " big girl" underwear, no more stinky diapers or pull-ups, and all that. It's totally true! Give her more control in other areas of her life if she makes the right choices with the potty. For instance....let her pick her lunches and dinners out and help you make them if she uses the potty. Let her pick all of her outfits out or a special trip to the park or a fun event...
If she uses the potty. Tell her that "big girls" get to do special things and have special powers! Also tell her that you expect her to go potty and that it's something that all of us, even you, have to do every day. Kids understand way more than we give them credit for. A lot of parents are so afraid to expect things from their kids or hold them to learning a difficult skill if they have trouble with it at some point. Have a talk with our child, go over what you expect, and tell her you are not dropping the issue. Then, offer some "big girl" options and see if it works. It worked for me and once I got the ball rolling in the right direction again we had complete success. Go for it!

Don't go back to pull ups. You need to start by reminding her often, like every 30 min, or more if necessary. Then praise her and reward her just like in the beginning. If you go back it will be worse and she will think it's not something you really expect of her. Maybe you started her a bit early, maybe not, but keep at it and just do more work on your end by reminding, set a timer if you need to, and talk about how proud you are of her. Sometimes when the excitement wears off kids regress. You know she can do it and so does she. Just be sure she does.

It's not a regression. It's normal. Go to pull ups cause it'll give her practice pulling pants up, down, etc.