Relationship - Manomet,MA

Let me get this straight: she is back with her boyfriend but wants to break you up? What is she going to do with two guys?

you all sound like adolescents.
i pity any children involved.
khairete
S.

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Are you a teenager? Are the children only your kids (different dad) or your husband's kids as well? This seems soooo immature. You either trust your husband or not, if you do then why are you even giving this woman/girl any thought whatsoever?

I don't know how old you are but you all sound pretty immature.

How about acting like a responsible adult and I bet you will get the respect you deserve.

If you don't trust your hubby leave him. Are your children his children or step children. Sounds like a cluster....k

Is this Troll Night and I just didn't get the memo?

By responding in any way it only makes you look bad. So go to family things, you belong and she doesn't.

Although, she was part of the family in a sense and will always be. He picked you, he married you, he had children with you. If he goes back to her and gives that all up then they deserve each other.

Don't let her intrude on your kids family time. Go, be an adult, be nice to her, it will make her look worse if she gossips about you behind your back.

Let me get this straight-
you're snooping through his social media?
forcing his hand to the point where he feels the need to "hate her"?
telling him he's "not allowed to talk to her"?
using your kids as pawns against people you don't like?
are demanding your in-laws "not talk to her" or "hang out with her"?
are keeping tabs on his exes and their relationships?

There's this thing called "being an adult" and you're not doing it very well.

You have no right to decide who your husband's ex dates or befriends.

She cannot break you up unless your husband allows her to do so. No one can be stolen from a relationship if they don't wish to go.

If you don't want your kids around her, you have the right to keep them away from functions where she will be. Or you could be the bigger grownup, let the kids hang with their family, and keep your conversation with her limited to "Nice weather we're having" and "How 'bout those (insert favorite sports team here)?"

Your issue is with your husband. There's no point in telling his family who they can talk to or visit - it just makes some people dig in their heels even more.

You and your husband either trust each other, or you don't. If you do, it doesn't matter who is friends with whom on Facebook. I don't understand what you said about "he hates her." To whom is he saying this? Just the people in his family who like her pictures?

This all sounds very petty. Whether she is with her boyfriend or not, what is her purpose in wanting to break up you and your husband? Why are other people enjoying someone like this? But then again, no 3rd party can break up a strong relationship! So if you and your husband have a good and strong bond, you will have trust and no worries about a break-up. If others still have a relationship with someone you don't like, so what? They can be in her wedding. You have no right to tell them who they can be friends with. However, if your husband doesn't like her or if he finds her to be intrusive, then it's up to HIM to tell his family he doesn't want to come to family events where she is present. But if he hasn't un-friended her, he's got some reason to maintain contact. Maybe he likes seeing you get riled up?

I don't see any examples of maturity and sensitivity in any of the parties involved, at least not the way you've explained it. Everybody sounds like they didn't outgrow some behaviors left over from high school. There needs to be some maturity and some adult communication instead of a whole lot of talk about break-ups and who likes whom and who got caught talking to whom.

Somebody needs to take the high road here and be a grown up. Maybe it should be you - show your confidence, make it clear from your behavior that you are not at all threatened by a woman who behaves this way. Just smile benevolently, like you would with a tween who is all dramatic and selfish, and be strong. A strong and confident woman is the ultimate turn on. If your husband only gets excited watching you get angry and jealous, then he's not the catch you think he is.

I'm with Mamazita. You sound like you're about 18.

This sort of happened to me when I first got married at 36 years old. My husbands ex would visit his parents, she kept in touch with his sister and his other friends that she knew. She showed up at a show she knew he'd be at without me and hung out with him all night. She never said she wanted to break us up though. But I was very jealous at the time about 10 years ago. All it did was pump up my husbands ego and he refused to stop any of it. I was worried that she wanted to break us up. Well I found her on Facebook and asked if we could talk. She said yes and I called her! We talked on the phone for a couple of hours. Turns out that she had no interest in my husband but is one of those types who keeps in contact with everyone they ever met. I told her that if I kept in touch with every ex's family I would not have time to go to the bathroom. Anyway, she was a nice girl and I found a lot out from her. I told my husband that we talked and she wasn't interested and boy did that burst his bubble. She met someone shortly after and doesn't come around anymore. Sometimes when people are lonely they cling to the past and "better times". His family is encouraging it and disrespecting you but you can't change them, only what you do. Tell them that she has admitted to wanting to break you up and if they want to have a relationship with her then they won't have it with you. Call her, what the worst that can happen? Or have hubby call her and tell her he's not interested. If he can get past his ego he will do it.

It's either you trust your husband or you don't. It's reasonable to not want to spend time with her. She is a reminder of the past. However you do not have the right to tell your inlaws who they spend time with. Your huband can talk with her without having a romantic interest her. If you trust your husband I suggest it's important to allow him to be at family gatherings. If you can't remain civil and let your husband and his family be friendly with their guests I suggest you stay home.

I suggest that if being with this friend threatens your marriage your marriage is already in trouble. This woman cannot break up your marriage. Your jealousy can. I urge you to find a way to improve your self esteem. I suggest counseling would be a helpful way to start.

Are you all over 12?
Generally married people are more mature.

Every time I see a question like this I ask how old are you? It is always answered in snotty defensive way which screams immaturity. Now you are thinking how do I scream maturity....

You can't. When you start talking boyfriends and girlfriends and breakups you sound like high school.

Anyway, do you have a right to be pissed? Don't know, at who? Your "husband" don't know, his family, hell no!

The problem you are having is with your marriage and your husband. Your husband is talking to his ex on Facebook behind your back. You are going behind your husband's back to check up on what he's doing on Facebook. So there's a lack of trust and communication that you both need to address. And that lack of trust and communication has nothing to do with the ex and everything to do with your husband's choice to talk to a woman he's insisted he's done with.

Get counseling and stop trying to control other people. That's my advice.

It's up to your husband to tell her to get lost.
If he can be lured away he's not worth keeping.
If his family is friends with his ex girlfriend then maybe it's not a good idea to see his family.
It seems they've chosen this girl over their own relative (it happens sometimes).
Fine.
THEY can keep her.
You and your Hubby can socialize elsewhere.