Reluctant Reader

My 3 sons didn't like to read, but they loved collecting baseball cards. I actually taught them to read by sounding out all the stats, etc. on the back of the cards. When they could read the card they got to keep it and add to the collection. They couldn't wait to read.

You could do this with Pokemon or other cards as well.
Grandma N.
P. S. My sons went on to win local and national writing contests starting with this method of reading!

Maybe back off little and see if he picks it up again. Instead of three times, maybe once. Talk to a teacher and see what he/she thinks about it, or even a librarian.

Here is the trick I use. When I want my five year old to read to me, I say that she must read the first 1-2 pages to me and then I read the rest. That gets her some practice and motivates her to read without forcing her and still gives her reading time the way she wants (me reading to her).

A second trick: Sometimes when I can't or don't want to read to her, I tell her to read on her own. Sometimes she says no, but usually she sits in a chair and studies the pictures and maybe the words. But at least it is giving her the habit and context of being an independent reader. I also have started to say, "You read your book, and Mommy will read mine." That doen't work too well, but it at least makes a point.

My five year old is a new reader. She can sound out words, but it is frustrating for her when she knows I can just read for her. But, although it is frustrating for me, I am not worried that she won't progress with reading. I try to focus on making her love reading and making it clear it is an activity she can do on her own. Actual proficiency will come, but she won't do it until she is ready.

I am a bit of a control freak, so I want to be careful to let her teachers be her teachers, and I be her Mom. She will have responsibilities in school, but home is not school so I try not to push it. She is also a Montessori kid, and if you know anything about that, it is based in the philosophy that kids will only succeed and master things when they are developmentally ready to AND interested. Odds are, he is working on something else right now - physical development and athletic skills, emotional things and friendships, math, imagination, etc. When he is ready to focus on reading, he will. Just let him enjoy reading with you and read every chance you get, not just at night.

Enjoy the summer and try not to worry too much.

If you haven't already, consider getting nonfiction books for him to read. My son liked the "New True" books from the library better than fiction books. At 16 he still doesn't like fiction much, but did discover one series this summer that he likes. As a younger child he also liked the Chip Hilton series. These are sports based, though not early readers.

I know you want to keep him going, but don't threaten or bribe, it will make reading a chore and then he'll get more stubborn. Instead, try incorporating his reading into the bedtime routine. Let him read a few pages of a book and then you read a few pages. Or, let him start and if comes across a word he doesn't know or gets frustrated take over for him. My daughter is the same way. We take turns and she picks the books. At this point you want him to work on fluency: i.e., how smoothly he reads. So, let him pick books that are a bit easier than he can read. That will also make him proud and confident.

When my son was between K and 1st, he discovered the Clifford and Arthur (based on the PBS cartoon) books. Reading them became our night routine. Dr. Seuss is also good. In first grade he discovered the Highlights magazine, the Frog and Toad series and Capt. Underpants series. In 2nd grade, he read more Capt. Underpants, and the Wimpy Kids series.

I have a daughter who will be in 3rd grade next year. She is actually above grade level for reading, but she doesn't read unless I tell her to (ever). Like you, we read together every night as part of the bedtime routine. What I do is I tell her to pick one book to read to me, one book for me to read to her, and then her sister picks a book for me to read, for a total of 3 books. She LOVES me to read to her, but I won't do it until she reads me her book first. So far I've never had to "cancel" bedtime stories! Keep reading to him though. A few teachers have told me that is one of the reasons my daughter is such a good reader :)

Well I was a reluctant reader and what my family did was continue to read with me and to me. Continue to work w/your son no matter whether or not he fusses, I fussed and cried but I became the best reader in my class and now love books. As mothers and parents you have to do what's best for your child. Even if you know right now they don't like they will thank you and benefit from it later.

L.,
One of the things I would encourage you to do is use a time and have 15 minutes of reading at a time and find books that he enjoys. Most of the time, children are only exposed to fiction which is important but they need to read non-fiction too and they are often interested in non-fiction topics. You might check out my website with your son and look at our Beginners series. Let me know if this helps or if you have any other questions.

You need to find a series of books that he loves and will spontaniously pick up and read on his own. For my son it was Henry and Mudge. He is now an avid reader. Good luck!

I have boys too and they do not like to read either. So I have to be creative too. When we go to restaurants, I make them read the menu and order what they want. If he won't do it, then he doesnt get to eat. That happened only once. He began reading the menu immediately. If you go to McDonalds - they want a happy meal. Tell them that you don't see it on the menu anymore. Ask them if they can find it for you. Make a batch of cookies and make them read the ingredients. You may even want to teach them about the measuring utensils then too. That way they get a little math and science also. This will work with any recipe and if he's a picky eater - it will encourage him to eat other types of food because he helped prepare them. Have him write your grocery list. This is a hoot when you get in the store and attempt to read a phonetically written list. When driving have them read the bulletin boards along the road. For every single birthday, Christmas, Easter and Valentine's day I buy them a book. At the beginning of the summer, I take them to the bookstore and let them choose a book they are going to read over the summer. This year my 2nd grader picked "Charlotte's Web". Although I had a copy already, I bought one for him. We read it together. He has his and I have mine. If your son has a Nintendo DS, there are several programs you can buy that require them to read. Good luck and keep it fun.

I am currently going through the same situation but I have my 5yr old son read to me everyday.Practice makes perfect and the reason why he does not like to do it is probably because at this age, reading is not very easy. So the more he reads the more he will begin to like to do it. My son and I play games in the car with flash cards and so forth. I get really excited with him when he completes a work book page. We do a little dance and he goes wild. He will do another page just to see his mom act crazy. lol....we just have total fun with it.

L. -- Good for you for working with your son! Great replies so far, and yes, you do need to encourage while not becoming "teacher" in his eyes. A few suggestions to add to the ones already:

--Many friends with boys tell me that elementary-aged boys tend to like non-fiction, fact-based or humorous books much better than fictional stories with interpersonal conflicts, emotional issues, etc. (in other words, Guinness Book of World Records and baseball player biographies beat out stories for many boys at this age). Though we adults would perhaps rather they read high-quality writing and good fiction, it's fine for them to read what interests them -- they need to see that books contain stuff they are interested in, even if it's stuff we as parents aren't crazy about. This means your son (depending on his personal interests) might want to pick out sports fact books, or Star Wars chapter books, or Pokemon fiction books. Not fun reading for the adults but if it keeps him going to the end, it's still reading--better choices will follow. Cartoon books like Garfield collections are also big with this age group. Of course you want to mix in some challenging and classic books for him, but remember, get him hooked on the idea that content is fun.

--Try reading some kids' mysteries to him if you haven't yet. The Boxcar Children series is still great (and some are updated to sound more "today" with the kids using computers etc.), and there are series like A to Z Mysteries and Bailey School Kids mysteries. Leave him with a cliffhanger when you stop and ask him what he thinks will happen next, then when you start next time, remind him about his prediction and see if it happens. This also helps prepare him for first and second grades when increasingly he will be asked to predict outcomes in stories. Plus he may just love mysteries.

--Library systems and bookstores have summer reading programs where the child fills out a form listing books read and gets a prize after reading a certain number of books. If he thinks of that as too much work, set up your own summer reading program, maybe requiring fewer books than these do and offering a prize he really loves (favorite restaurant dinner, mini-golf game, toy, etc.) when he has read X number of books and can tell you which he liked best and why, which he liked least and why, one favorite character, etc. A fun chart could help with this.

--Spend some library time where you just hang out and you sit and read your book quietly while he sits and reads his. Reading at the library instead of at home means fewer distractions, no toys or friends nearby to tempt him away, etc. And you can just read next to him without reading to him or having him read to you.

--Try magazines, available at libraries. National Geographic Kids has great facts, science and nature articles, etc., though it does carry ads; Ranger Rick has tons of nature and animal articles with terrific photos and is ad-free; Sports Illustrated for Kids gets high marks from my friends' sports-loving boys; Highlights is the all-time classic kids' magazine with articles, poems, comics and short fiction but no preaching (and no advertisements!). He might fall in love with magazines as my daughter has.

--Sit down and read the newspaper with him, especially trading off reading comics to each other and, if you take the Washington Post, read him the Kids Post page that appears daily (if you feel the content is OK for him -- it does sometimes deal with news-based issues that you might feel he's not ready for).

--I love the idea one person posted about having him help you cook by reading recipes, etc. Also, have him write, be in charge of, and read your grocery lists -- he reads them to you as you go around the store. Write out simple directions to a place you've never been and have him read them to you from his seat as you drive and you can legitimately say, "I can't read and drive at the same time, I need your help!"

Above all else, as you read the comics or hang out at the library etc., don't say "It's time to practice reading" but approach it with him as "This comic is so funny--check it out!" or "You love soccer--did you see this book about DC United? Look at this picture..." etc. Sorry to go on so long but this is a vital topic to me. Good luck and let us know what happens!

You got some good replies. I would only add that we have a similar problem with our son, who also just completed kindergarten. He does not like to read to us, although he is reading above grade level. I spoke to the teacher at length about it and she told us not to push him too hard because it would backfire. So whatever you do, remember that some kids view you as the mom, not as the teacher, and they want those roles clearly delineated. So when you try to be "teacher" they recoil. So don't push too hard, but gently encourage him and have a fun trip to the bookstore where he can explore some new types of books!

There are some books in the early reader series that allow for you to read some and the child to read some. I don't have specific titles, but ask librarian for I Read, You Read series. Maybe if it doesn't feel like "school", he'll enjoy it as alone time with you or Dad.

do you read for fun? One of my few memories around kindergarten age was seeing my dad read for pleasure, and deciding, quite intentionally, that I wanted to read, too, since he liked it. I wouldn't push it too hard or you'll teach him that it's a chore and not a joy.

Pat yourself on the back - you are reading to your child at night, and that goes a long way toward helping your child become a reader. Make sure he sees you enjoying your own reading, too, so he sees that it's not something just kids do.

I started giving my kids an extra 15 minutes before "lights out" as long as they were ready for bed, and reading. There is nothing wrong with keeping a progress chart for incentives with your child. Stickers work well, and kids really like seeing them add up.

Also, whenever my kids watch tv, I have them turn on the subtitles in English so they can read along with the words.

The most important thing is to help your child learn that reading is enjoyable on many different levels. A child needs to enjoy reading and books in the early school years because they start reading more for information and less for enjoyment as they get older (like middle and high school). As a reading teacher, the biggest challenge I see with readers is that they don't like it for whatever reason, and don't see the value in reading.

Good luck and happy reading!

My son was exactly the same way at that age -- wouldn't read at home, even though he was reading OK at school. I tried everything I could and nothing worked, because he wasn't ready.

My advice is to leave your son alone about it. Interest in reading doesn't kick in for some kids, especially boys, until much later. Don't make reading a power struggle, or something he gets paid to do, or something he has to do so you won't be mad. Keep reading to him every day and have books around for him to read, if HE chooses to. If he doesn't do any reading at all this summer, he will still be fine in school in the fall. Kids pick it right back up, especially if they were on track at the end of the last school year.

It's hard to believe right now, but your boy isn't going to be 6 forever. Someday, he will discover reading is fun; before that, it's just plain hard work. Let the school be the heavy, while you keep it fun and read to him at home, which studies show is very powerful.

My son took quite a few years to discover the joys of reading by himself. This summer, at age 14, he is reading "Catcher in the Rye" and "To Kill a Mockingbird" -- not for school or for me, just because he wants to.

Good luck and enjoy this beautiful day!

Let him tell you what he wants to read, even if it's comic books. Try many different mediums. After all, books, while fantastic, aren't the only written word available for reading. Look around you for daily opportunities to read. For instance, I will tell my 7yo to be my look out for certain street signs in the car. He has to read them all, or he'll miss the one we need. Or you could encourage a hobby of his by getting him a book or pamphlet about it that's at his reading level, if he's really into this hypothetical hobby, he'll read the book.

make it more of a game or joint effort. Read with him and start with each of you reading every other word, move to ever other sentence, paragraph, page etc. Or open one of your "adult books" and see how many words he can read on a page. Kids love to pretend to be adults! Have fun with it, maybe get some comic books or joke books.

L.,

I have 3 boys (7, 11, & 15). I have one who is a voracious reader (oldest), one who reads a good bit (youngest) and one who only started reading for pleasure in 3rd grade(middle). An employee at a book store suggested the Wimpy Kid series. He loved it. And it made him realize that books were fun. He also really likes graphic novels which are just comics with a lot of dialogue. He actually reads books for pleasure now (as a 6th grader).

For what it is worth, I wouldn't threaten or bribe. The most important part about reading to me is fostering a love of reading. So maybe picking books that appeal to your son is the way to go. Let him have some control over what he reads during the summer. Take him to the library or book store and ask them what 6 year old boys seem to be interested in.

Good luck and enjoy the summer vacation.
K.