Resistance to Homework, Testing, Etc.

Hi S.,

When you say he is resistant to writing what exactly do you mean? My son has a written expression learning disability called dysgraphia. It is like the written version of dyslexia. His hand writing is really poor and his thoughts are very disjointed on paper. It takes him an extraordinarily long time to translate his thoughts to paper. If you were to ask him a question about any given subject, he could give you an articulate verbal answer. He could not, however, translate that same answer to paper. He was diagnosed toward the end of his 4th grade year.

As a result, he hates testing and homework. When he was younger, getting him to sit down and do his homework was like pulling teeth. He always found other things that needed to be done and was a master at creating distractions in order to get out of his work. He is in highschool now and it has become a time of trial and error on how to help him cope and compensate, since we have entered an era of research papers and essay questions. He is easily overwhelmed.

So, I guess what I am asking is, could there be more to it than just unwillingness?

L.

Hi S., my daughter was in a charter school from k-4th. She had so much homework it took her HOURS to do it every night. It was a battle and stressed ALL of us out. For many reasons, I ended up moving her to a public school and had her do 4th grade over. I spoke to the new teacher at great lengths and basically said this was a fresh start for her and I didn't want her to hate the teacher, school or homework. She now only has one sheet of homework each night along with spelling words, reading 15 minutes and practice multiplication tables. When we got her report card it was all A's and B's and she's on the honor roll for the first time. We have a schedule that we stick with each night at home so all 3 kids know when its tv time, play outside time, homework, bath, etc. So my point in all this is to talk to the teacher and let him/her know what's going on. You don't want your child hating school and/or homework. They should be able to help. Good luck!

The testing is there for a key reason. Your child has to be at the level of the other kids in that class, or he will not do well. He will slow down the learning of the other students, if he is not at the same level. I don't mean this in a cruel way at all, but if he won't do the writing and the homework required at that grade level at that school, and gets in, you will have a daily battle. And more frustration!

Kids need to be in a school and in a grade that moves at the pace they can learn.

My kids were in private school for 5 years. The expectations were high and the pace moved much more rapidly than the neighborhood kids who were in public school. Now that my kids are in public high school, I wish public schools could do this type of testing before filling up the school----but they cannot, obviously.

Is it possible that he can go to this new school and enter a grade level down from where he is?
He may or may not be ready for the workload. The test will tell.

I think it's normal for some kids to rush through their work, especially work that they find challenging. I think most of the behaviors you describe are normal.

I have somewhat of a challenge as well with my 7th grader when it comes to writing. I know it is sometimes difficult to tutor or help your own child as they have a higher resistance and low tolerance as well as feeling defensive as you are just trying to help them.
What I have discovered with finding the strengths and weaknesses academically with my son is that math, science and art are his strengths and found that writing and spelling are his weaknesses. I do point this out to him in a very careful way (so he understands that it will take more work in some areas rather than others)
At this age, and most ages school can be the enemy to your child and making it an exciting fun experience from the parent to the child can be challenging, but possible!
We just moved a few months ago from where he has been his whole life til now., and luckily he has been able to make lots of new friends and loves his new school. I try to be positive and show overwhelming interest in his schoolwork praising him on improvements and patience is the key. I explain that if he studies the material til it is stuck in his head, he is not as nervous when taking a test the next time.

Could you talk to the school your applying to and explain the situation? Maybe they would be willing to forgo the test, or maybe they would be willing to talk directly with your son and explain why they test. (For placement, etc.) He might be more flexible with them than he is with you.