Retaining a Child in Kindergarden or Moving on to 1St Grade

You are your son's first teacher..trust your gut. I am a second grade teacher, but I have taught kindergarten in the past. Studies prove that your child's reading level at the end of first grade is most likely where they will be for the rest of their lives. If you are a struggling reader at the end of first grade, you will struggle your entire school career. I agree with Maria P. I have never had parents tell me they regret holding a child back, but I have heard many times, that they regret moving them forward. Best of luck to you.

My son is only in preschool but we are leaning toward keeping him there for another year instead of moving on to kindergarten. He has a mid-July birthday (he'll be turning 5) and has some learning challenges due to a neonatal stroke. In speaking with his teacher, she did mention to me that they do not ever tell a parent to hold a child back but if the parent brings it up then they discuss it but don't "recommend." I'm not sure if this is exclusive to his school/program or not. If the child moves on, the school supports him in the best way possible. Once I get around to it, I'll be making a list of the pros/cons of moving him forward vs. keeping him in prek. Perhaps that may help you as well?

From the school's perspective, they see a lot of variation in individual kids so maybe some kids do catch up (or need reading assistance). If you are able to provide enrichment activities at home while he is in a half day program and he can still find friends to play with during the week then what is the risk of holding him back?

You mentioned that he does not talk about friends at school. My son is delayed and is not yet 5 and he has started doing this in the last couple months. Have you done an observation of his class to see how he is interacting with his peers? Maybe seeing him in that setting will help you decide (as long as he is not bothered by your presence).

Good luck! I know what a difficult decision it is to make.

I felt the same way about my second daughter. Should I hold her back and have her repeat Kindergarten? Her teacher recommended she go into first grade so that's what we did.

At the beginning of the year, it was a huge adjustment for her, but she's doing terrific now. She still gets pulled from class for speech and Title 1 Reading, but she's having a blast and learning everything she's supposed to learn.

The bottom line is only you and your husband can decide what is right for your son. I agree with Michelle, a conference with the teacher outlining your concerns is in order. It's possible that your son is doing much better than you realize and that is why going into first grade is what the teacher advocates.

Good luck and let us know what you decide!

You are his mother, trust your gut instinct. I've never heard anyone regret holding their kid back but you hear people regretting not holding their kid back. I'd rather my son absorb a little more from kindergarten than fall behind in first grade. It won't ever matter that he's older than his friends, he'll have his license first! He'll love that. Better now than when he's older.

I would recommend to send him on. Schools typically do a good job at gauging what a child's level of learning is and what they need. They put together an IEP (individual education plan) that outlines each area the child is struggling in and how they plan to support that area, along with timelines on the progress. However, you mentioned social concerns, which you can support as well. I would ask for a meeting with the school, they should be having one to have a new IEP set for the upcoming school year- but you have the right to request one at any time- all the staff involved in you child's education has to attend to give you all the information and answer all you questions/concerns (principal, homeroom teacher, speech teacher, title I teacher, any aides involved, special education teacher if needed, etc.). Prior to the meeting make a list of concerns/questions you want addressed. Many schools have programs for socialization- they have social workers that bring groups of kids together to do social acitivities and encourage growth in this area. You can bring this concern to their attention, ask them what they see- maybe your son has friends and does fine and just doesn't tell you...or the school can offer services or suggestions here. On your own you can enter him in an extra-curricular activity that will place him with other kids (sports, art, karate, etc.), or some areas have classes for socialization you can take him to. The more you communicate with the school, the better. In addition, if they have not already done a full educational evaluation of your child to determine exactly what his disability/delays are right now, you can request they do so...it would involve testing to determine if he has a specific learning disability, which would make it easier to give him the specific interventions he needs, and a psychological evaluation to determine if he has a socialization or anxiety issue contributing to his delay in learning. Schools are very good at picking up on delays and intervening to give kids the extra help they need, which it sounds like they are doing now. If you are really struggling and your concerns are great it may be a good idea to do the evaluation to find out just what is going on and the extent of his needs. There may more areas you can help or it may help you to know the school is on mark with their recommendations.

I am the step-mother of an 8-year old daughter, placed in special-ed in Kindergarten. Also, both my parents have been teachers my whole life and have been principals for more than 15 years now, dealing with topic on a daily basis.

J.-

I would go with your gut. You're his mother and I would think that you know what is best for him! I don't see any negatives by holding him back only positives! Most important he would have self confidence which to me is very important at that age.

Good luck- You know that you will make that best choice for him!

Jackie

Hi Jenny,

I know as parents we know our children best and your gut feelings are hard to ignore. But, I find it interesting that both the teacher and principal say to move him up to first grade. Have you discussed your concerns with them? They may be able to give you more information on why they feel he is ready to move up. As you say, he is coming home everyday learning things, and he loves school. My oldest son's maturity increased tremendously during 1st grade. I think the whole day at school really makes a difference in that regard. In fact, our kindergartners who score lower on the entrance testing are actually put into a full day program as opposed to 1/2 day, to allow extra time and to get them more into that routine.

I personally would talk to the teacher and consider moving him up. Just keep a close eye on things next year - during the school day, they will be able to devote more time to him for his speech and reading, too. I know that our school has a wonderful reading program for the children that need extra help.

Best of luck to you - I know it isn't an easy decision, and you don't want him to struggle.

M.

It is a rare thing these days for teachers and administrators to advocate holding back. We held our daughter back in 1st grade and NEVER regret it to this day. OFcourse there are those children who are late bloomers and do catch up but in the case of a child who is currently in Speech therapy and needing extra reading help, this is more than just being a late bloomer. He will only benefit from another year of speech and reading help and will enter 1st grade much more confident. He will most likely need to continue on with speech and reading but atleast he will be closer to grade level ability. And don't worry about his height in the least if you are at all. If anything, it will be to his advantage especially if he gets interested in basketball or volleyball!

Our daughter too was in speech and hearing therapy for several years and had trouble learning how to read. She had auditory processing issues and expressive language delays. She just hit the wall in 1st grade. It didn't really become an issue until the work got much harder (and I had her in speech since she was 2 years old.) Our children went to catholic schools and we were told by our local public school that the private school curriculum moved at a faster pace and was more challenging and to move her into the public school's 2nd grade. That is what we were told by their special ed administrative team.
more about that in a minute..

She had wonderful therapists and we hired a private reading tutor who specialized in the Orton Gillingham multi-sensory approach with a heavy duty phonics emphasis. She has a hearing loss too on some of the higher frequencies which complicated her sounding out words and so forth. We also had her tested to rule out her being Learning disabled and she was not. At some point, your child may need that testing but if he gets the right therapy and tutoring, he may be just fine.

After talking to several professionals in the field, we were told if you do hold back, make sure you are going to do something a bit different to enhance the repeat experience for the child.I tell you this out of care and concern. We hired an educational advocate and did private testing for our daughter.
I had them take a look at the testing the public school did with our daughter to confirm absolutely that she didn't have a learning disability. As you can see, this was a huge commitment on our part year round for a good 3 years. But the results were fantastic.

I would definitely continue on with the speech (what sort of delay does he have? another year could help him in SO many ways)could he have a different kindergarten teacher perhaps? And keep up with the reading tutoring and speech year round also if your insurance will cover it. He has some catching up to do for any number of reasons and he can and will be successful given the right intervention. Our daughter graduated with honors from high school and is a junior studying advertising art in college. She has always been a visual learner due to her hearing issues and has special gifts for it.

So, try and keep your chin up.. I KNOW about that worry and how is your child going to make it and so forth. I just wanted her to be like everyone else in a sense but she isn't, she is very special and unique. Your son is going to show you his special gifts and talents that are so very unique to him.
I wish you the best of luck. As the other moms have said, trust your gut. If you feel he is behind and not achieving where you feel he is capable of, then hold him back.

I would say he would benefit from repeating kindergarten just based solely on the fact he is receiving a lot of speech and reading help at this point.
And having taught preschool myself, I have advised so many parents about kindergarten readiness. NO ONE has regretted holding back.. they have regretted NOT holding back. It is very true. I struggled and cried over that decision myself and then went out and researched and talked to many professionals. The public school told us to put her on through to the next grade. That would have been a horrible decision. She would have fallen further behind and her self-esteem would have suffered greatly. That extra year of therapy and tutoring was the greatest gift we could give her.

We remained at the catholic school, had our private reading tutor come in and the speech and hearing therapists came in from the public school. She received one/one attention that the public school could not offer her. I think this was key to her success.

Most parents would have the oppossite reaction. I'm impressed with your decision. I'm not sure why the faculty would want to move him forward, except in kinderagarten its hard to tell what may be a learning disablility, in which case holding him back would not make sense. It's a tough call but it sounds like you should go with your gut or you may regret it. You are your child's advocate.