Reward Charts or Something

there's a website: www.handipoints.com and it has every kind of chore or a place to make your own. The kids can enter their chores as they do them and earn points to buy their "cool kitty" stuff. There are games to play there as well. You go in and grade them and that can earn them extra points also. My kids love it. They do their chores without a fight.

I use one that I bought (don't remember where), but it hangs on the wall and has hooks on it and then there are plastic cards with holes in the top that allows it to hang on the hooks. There is a hook for am, noon, after school, extra and bedtime. Each category is a different color. Stickers came with it to put on the cards and then there were some blank ones. I chose things that she really needs to do in the a.m. (She has ADHD, so she forgets if I'm not following behind her, constantly reminding her. NOT good for either of us!) So now the chart does my job and it's working because she really feels empowered and in control!!! There is a box attached to the chart, so as soon as she does a chore, she can move it over into the box. We count up all the points just before bedtime.

I put things like get up, make the bed, get dressed, eat breakfast, take vitamins, clear her plate from table and clean up after self, brush teeth, pack backpack. She literally runs to her room after each thing. (Oh, yes, we put one in there for turning her light off and flushing the toilet and washing her hands to because she always forgot to do those things. Now she never forgets!)

Then she has afternoon chores like unpacking her backpack and lunchbag, hanging up her backpack right after school, and then doing HW after she plays for 30-45 minutes to unwind.

She gets a point for everything, though since she would skip making her bed, I made that worth 10 pts. (worth it for me - it's a loft bed and it's hard if you are not up there in it and she IS 8 now!) She is old enough to do it. It's not perfect, but at least she's doing it.

So you get the idea. I don't believe in taking points away. I think positive reinforcement is much better than negative. I even gave BIG points for not sucking her thumb from the time she gets up until she's at school, and then from when she gets out of school into she goes to bed. Up until now, NOTHING worked. She no longer sucks it during the day!!! (I had to make that worth 25 in the a.m. and 35 in the pm).

I had her make up a list of things that she'd like to do (I got to give input also), and then assigned how many points she'd have to pay for each of them. She loves her DS, but she gets very limited time on it because it becomes problematic. So she can 'buy' 30 minutes of playtime and it costs her 50 pts. If she wants a new game, it's 350 points. If she wants 'dessert' (which we rarely have - I'll let her have fruit for free, but if she wants cereal for dessert (which she loves and doesn't get for breakfast), she has to buy it with her tokens. Many times now she'll skip it because she doesn't want to 'spend' her points.

Sorry this is so long. But it really has worked well for us. She pays for computer time, watching a TV show, and DS time because I know that too much media for kids causes a lot of problems. We spend the time reading or doing other things instead.

Hope this helps. I'm long-winded, I know.

Good luck! N.

We made the list up and included quality time things like playing games, or having playdates, and other things as well as monetary things. I don't want to encourage everything to be about money and 'things' for her. So she's making better choices about how to 'spend' her tokens.

We use the "marble" method as well. We don't have marbles; we use decorative-type rocks (got them at Michael's).

I have a 4Yo and a 2Yo. It works great. My 2Yo is too young to understand the "down-the-road" reward of it (after your jar is full, you get a special prize/reward/outing of your choice), but he loves it when he gets to pick the marbles out himself and put it in his own jar. My 4Yo definitely understands the whole concept and works toward good behavior daily so that he can get his rocks.

My idea is to use this method to lay the groundwork for future behavior. I personally think that sharing, helping others, being kind to your brother/sister, etc., should be everyday behavior and shouldn't be rewarded, that should be expected. But they're young, growing, developing personalities, etc., now is the BEST time to show that that behavior, action, generosity will make you an all-around better, happier person. So for now, they will get physical, tangible rewards for that behavior. In future years, that will come naturally to them and they'll see that the reward from that is smiles, friendships, hugs, etc., and that's when the rocks and physical rewards will not be necessary any longer.

By the way, I let my sons pick their jars, pick their own color paints and stickers and we all decorated our own jars together. So their jars are personalized to them. That was a fun project to do with them and they see it daily, know which one is theirs, and are proud of it because THEY did it.

Good Luck!

i do the marble with my daughter but set a goal of 28 per week. all marbles are clear. Then i have some black marbles for every black marble (which is something really bad to be done) 4 good marbles are taken away at the end of the week...

There is a reward chart (heavy duty) made by melissa and doug you can get it at the learning express store BUT why not get poster board and drawn lines and have them create their own. I do this when making potty charts for my babysitting families... they get a sense of accomplishment for making their own chart.

I have to say that I really like the marble idea! Keeps things simple - add for whatever you deem good behavior, take away for bad behavior.

We tried to do a "chore chart" in which the chores were brushing teeth, being obedient, etc., but then my husband and I got to thinking - why should they be rewarded for doing what they are supposed to do??? Is that really the message we want to send? Besides, I (as I have a tendency to do) made it too complicated for him and for me!

Again, liking the single jar idea...hmmmm...

As a retired teacher and mom, I found reward charts, marble jars, etc... to work very well. I would not take away marbles, find another form for punishment, but use reward charts, etc... for positive reinforcement. I used a commercially produced reward chart for my daughter for time management during the day, ie. brushing teeth, making bed, laundry in hamper and those sort of things. Make rewards small, yet exciting in the mood. " Hurray, M&Ms for a wonderful week." and 1 M&M per star or check they've earned for the week.
Now on misbehaviors, I used the take away system. When my daughter was older, she would constantly ask, in our travels, "Are we almost there?",
"how much farther?", and those type questions, or complain during the trip. So at the beginning of the trip, I gave her 10 one dollar bills. If she asked those annoying questions or complained, she paid me $1. She ended up with spending money and I received a peaceful trip. She was an only child, but I imagine it could work for quarreling siblings.
Hope this helps,
Grammy

If your boys are into Harry Potter (I don't know how old they are), you can do "House Points" on a dry erase board.