Right or Left Handed

Don't sweat it at all. He's using both the left and right side of his brain by being ambidextrous. There are studies that support that left-handed score higher in IQ scores and academic tests. Give him the freedom to do both. He'll eventually decide what he prefers. Even better if he can use both. Hope this is of some help.

Hey J.,

Maybe he is ambidextrous. I am and I use both hands for everything. I favor my right hand when I am writing and use my left hand for everything else. I personally don't think that he needs to focus in on one hand.

T. W.

Don't worry about it. Many kids don't decide dominant hand until 4-5 years. And if both hands are being modeled at home, then he's just watching and trying. He will decide when he's ready. And---he may decide to use both! I'm a teacher and I've seen kids decide early and late.

First be aware that boys are very often quite behind girls on their fine motor skills so you can't compare them. Your son is ambidextrous and this is a wonderful skill. My husband writes and cuts with one hand and plays sports, eats, and everything else with the other hand. You don't want to make him choose a hand, this will likely lead to him being less proficient than he would otherwise be. Instead give him lots of exposures to drawing, writing, cutting, and other activities that build up his skills. Eventually he will begin to choose whichever hand works best for each activity.

Also know that you as a right handed person will have some difficulty teaching a left handed child to write so you might want to look up how to do it(this is why many lefties write with their hand turned rather than in the normal writing position).

You might want to buy a pair of left handed scissors as this could be a reason why your son may become uncomfortable and change hands while doing that activity.

Some ideas for a tactile activities that might be fun for him to practice with both hands:

Fill a cookie sheet with sand or shaving cream, then let your children draw in it and smooth it back out (the shaving cream is great for after lunch because you can use it to wash up the table and the hands and it doesn't stain)

I hear that a lot of children are ambidextrous until they go to school are forced to chose a hand to write with. My mother says I was ambidextrous, and I turned out to be left handed (and okay without focusing on one hand until kindergarten). By being ambidextrous, he's using both sides of his brain together-- the analytical and the creative.

I teach preschool and I see children occasionally who do not have a preferred hand with which to write or eat. I had one student who wrote the first part of his name with his left hand and the second part of his name with his right!! Your son is only three and he will make a choice at some point. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Keep having him color, eat with utensils etc and he will eventually choose. Good luck.

Hey there Lady! Mine did the same thing. Just offer him what ever a fork, crayon, ball or bat etc. and let him choose which hand he wants to use. Read up on cross dominate, eye and hand. You don't want to ever push, even lovingly, let him decide for himeself. And who knows, he may be ambidextrous. My son Kincade, who is now 12yrs old, is ambidextrous and it's great fun watching other people who are amazed at what he can do.

Enjoy these blessing the Lord has given you!

Take Care,
N. :) SAHM homeschooling 3 boys 12, 7 & 2yrs old married to Mr. Wonderful for almost 15 yrs.

go to childfind with the county school system. If nothing else, you'll get advice from a professional who is working with your child for a 1/2 hour or so...

Don't worry. I would just continue to observe him and notice if he starts to do certain tasks better with one hand than the other. My little lefty was the later in deciding which hand to use and I think it was because he was surrounded by righties. He is almost 11y.o. and does most things left -handed but others right. We love baseball so he is our little switch hitter. He learned to throw with his right but can do just as well with his left. The most important thing is deciding for writing so that is where I would observe him the closest. If he does some tasks right and some left his whole life he will be fine. I am right-handed but there are a few things I do left- handed and my mother is the same and we do not do the same things left- handed. It is not a big deal. He still has plenty of time with the writing thing.

Let your son continue to progress in his own time and fashion. We have learned from the past that trying to impose handedness is not a good idea, it is more confusing than it is helpful. Once your son's brain works out which hand it wants to use, it will come naturally. Just relax, if he can do things with either hand, then it could be a benefit to him in many ways.

Let him be who he is, and if that is being ambidextrous, then it's how his brain is wired. Wonder at how God gives many capabilities to different people!

Speaking as someone who is firmly right-handed, I'm going to say being ambidextrous would ROCK!

The other ladies are right, this is nothing to stress about. He'll choose (or not!) by the time he gets to school. I'll ask my mom-in-law, she was a preschool teacher until a couple of years ago. You've already got a preschool teacher's advice though and hers will probably be about the same.

Way back when being left handed was a sign of the devil for some reason...weird. And wrong!

Relax...-S

J.,
How exciting that he can use both hands!! That suggests that he will have greater mental flexibility. I would encourage him to have lots of fun and use both hands as much as possible until he clearly shows a favorite. Studies have shown that there can be detrimental effects to forcing a child to use a non-preferred hand, so I would give it time. Good luck!
J.

Have you talked to the pediatrician about this? My guess is that he/she would say that you should just let it go and let him choose whatever hand he is most comfortable with at the moment. Maybe he is one of the lucky ones who can use both hands equally well and that is his special gift from God. Why make him choose one or the other and why obsess about something as insignificant as that? My son is the same way, but then again he is only 18 months old. But I can't imagine caring if he is right or left handed. He will be what he will be.

Speaking as a ambodextrius person (have no idea how to spell it) I can write with both hands and I am now 35. I say let him take his time do not try to force one or the other, as long as he is comfortable let him do either or. I was forced by one parent to do right and the other parent to do left so this is just my opinion and I believe the school system will do just that they will not force him unless he is complaining bout not being able to write.

GOD BLESS

I think you probably need to let him figure it out in time. My son is left handed and neither his father nor I are. His grandfather is though. He was about four when he finally settled on that hand. He is not behind his classmates at all as far as writing and does fine in school. In short I wouldn't start worrying just yet about it. Good luck and take care.

I think what you are doing is great - keep asking him to choose. He may be ambidextorous, but will likely settle on one hand for certain activities. My husband writes with his right, but does many gross motor tasks left handed (like batting).

When he is a bit older, he will probably be easier to talk to about this - "try the other hand, which one is easier to use?" But for the time being, don't even mention it. My daughter is four, and the difference in writing and drawing from a year ago to now is phenomenal (although she was clearly righthanded since 2).

He probably doesn't know which feels better now, so just let him use whatever he wants adn let him switch around. In a year, I bet you will see a preference.

My 3 yr old son is the exact same way. His Doctor said its a blessing that he can use both hands and that eventually he will choose on his own. I decided to let it alone and see what he does. I kind of forced my older son to use his right hand because he was the same way at that age. I'm not sure if that was the right thing to do. If I were you, I wouldn't worry over it but that's just my opinion. Hope it helps!

This is definately something that is not in our control. I wouldn't force either hand. Studies have shown that which ever hand we favor shows which side of the brain we use the most. This is definately a good thing that he can use both hands. I have always been right handed, however, in the last 2 years for some reason I have been using my left hand for things. I don't know how it happened or why. There are some things that I have to do with my left, such as painting trim and playing pool. I am excited about it. I am 35 and can't believe that after doing something with one hand for so many years I am now using the other more. Crazy!! but fun. Also, 3 out of my 4 children did use both hands until they went to school. When they start writing consistently I think that is when their mind and body makes that decision. It was fun watching them learn things with each hand.

J.,

Don't rush your little boy. His natural abilities will lead him to be right handed, left handed or perhaps he will be ambidextrious and use both hands. Many people try to steer their child towards being right-handed because we live in a mainly right-handed world. Do not do this. It will only lead to confusion and other problems.
Make a chart. Watch your son. Notice which hand he uses to perform actions (any and all actions - eating, picking up things, helping others, holding your hand or someone else's, brushing his teeth, coloring, etc. etc.) If he mainly uses one hand - then he will probably settle in on that hand eventually.
At three - there is no worry about this as long as he is able to do the things he needs and wants to with his hands.

Hi J.,

Don't worry. You will know in time.

Good luck. Hope this helps. D.

Hi J. -

I wouldn't be overly concerned about this yet. Some kids just take longer than others. My now 13 year old boy didn't choose a hand until he was nearly 5, and he has continued to be a bit ambidexterous even though he is right handed.

My now 10 year old daughter was left handed from the day she was born and my my 4 year old son was right handed from the day he was born.

It may be that your little guy is ambidexterous, or he may just still be getting coordinated.

You may want to watch him for dyslexia as he starts to read and write though. Kids with handedness issues sometimes have dyslexia.

Try to not to worry - there isn't a grown man alive who still hasn't picked a hand. Some just do it later than others.

Take care,

C.

J. -

I think you've gotten some great responses, so I won't reiterate some of their very good points. But, as an encouragement, wanted you to know that both of my boys (now 4 and 6) use both hands for different things. My 6 year old didn't really decide until he was late in his 4th year, and my 4 year old just decided. They both happened to decide to use their right hand dominantly, but my 4 year old bats and swings a golf club left-handed (his sports-minded father is thrilled - apparently switch hitters are rare). He will figure it out -- appreciate his ability to do things with both hands in a world where the majority of us can't!

A. T.

Hey J.-

Yes God is truly great! According to Jeremiah 1:5 and He knew your precious boy before He formed him in your womb, so you can rest assured He has already determined whether he will be a lefty, righty or ambidextrous. He has also blessed you with some great advice and information from this wonderful group of ladies, mainly don't worry and don't force him to choose.

I would just like to add that it might be better if you don't ask him which hand he wants to use to perform the task just allow him to choose.

I am now 45 and am still semi ambidextrous, however I was equally or fully ambidextrous until I was 10, at which point I finally gave in to the pressure to choose. My mental flexibilty and capacity are greater than most, so being ambidextrous definitely has it's advantages.

Hope this helps

My son will be 3 in four days. He also uses both hands. I think it's a great thing. My brother uses both of his hands and it works well for him, especially when he had a serious injury to one hand.

Just give him some time. Hopefully, he will develop the skills to use both hands.

Some people can use both hands fairly equally all of their life so he may just be one of them. As he gets older he will know which he prefers so I wouldn't worry about it too much. When I was young I burned my right hand (I am right handed) and had the hardest time learning to use my left hand for things, even eating was difficult. I wish I was one of the few that could use both :)
I have also seen that you can change a child's preference though I have never quite understood why a parent would feel the need to do this. I had a friend whos child at an early age favored his left hand and the parents would always change the crayon etc to his right hand until that was the one he used. He is now right handed but I am sure should have naturally been left handed. So if you want him to use one hand more then probably which ever had you have him use will end up being his one of choice.

J.,
I would advise you and your husband to spend time doing activities with him; such as color on the opposite page of the coloring book with him. He will inadvertently be looking at how you hold your crayon, pencil, etc and may be inspired to imitate you. If he changes hands, don't make a big deal of it except to praise him for being able to use either hand (doesn't matter if he isn't proficient with either of them)! You may just have an ambidextrous child who will be able to use either hand for tasks; I think that is great! Whatever the outcome, spend time praising his achievements.