Rooming in with Baby After Delivery

You already know all the "hunger signs" I would let them keep the baby at night, so you can get as much rest as possible. If you are going to breastfeed, they will bring the baby in to you when she is hungry, and then take her back when she is done. I would completely utilize the help while you can!! You both will be happier.

I breastfeed both of my babies. I roomed in with my first and left the hospital completely exhausted. I too bought into the whole notion that the baby needed to be right there. With my second baby I ended up needing a C-section and decided that I was not going to repeat what happened with the first. I too wanted to come home ready to face the challenges of having a toddler at home waiting for me (a 13 month old to be exact). Breastfeeding the second was not a problem, they will bring the baby to you if she is hungry. Take the time in the hospital to catch up on some MUCH needed rest, it will help to give you the energy to juggle the demands of a new baby and a toddler. Good Luck!

Both of my boys stayed in the room with me the entire time I was in the hospital and I loved it and wouldn't have had it any other way. I wouldn't have been able to sleep at if he was in a different room.

I only have experience rooming in, and I would not have considered doing it differently. I was exhausted as I had labored all night the previous night, but really I could not have slept comfortably knowing my daughter was in a plastic box in another room with a couple nurses (especially as I saw how often there were crying babies in there with them while I was walking the halls the 2 previous days. They only have 2 hands and sometimes there are a lot of babies there).

Since you are planning to breastfeed it is important to not give other nipples (some babies can develop nipple confusion) so I would not have wanted the chance that they'd try to sooth DD with anything other than me. It's also just natural that babies and mothers should stay together especially so soon; we're both designed that way so I think it can actually be easier to sleep near the baby than far. Nobody cares for your baby as well as you will.

I gotta say, I'm big on rooming in...these little babies have just come out into an unfamiliar and overwhelming world, and a huge room with other screaming babies and a nurse, in a plastic bed, is not all that comforting.

I remember on our hospital tour, there were four screaming babies in the nursery with one poor nurse...it really made an impression on me. They are meant to be with their moms!

Hi L.,
I'm with the 'room in' crowd. Try to get your rest now and not look so much for it after the delivery, lol. Enjoy the 'room service'. Meals brought to you and snacks too-- and enjoy your new beautiful baby. Don't forget to use lansinoh if your nipples get sore- it's a life saver. And if you are comfortable using a sling, that works so well because you can hold and even nurse the baby, almost hands free while you are resting. Good luck and congratualtions...
p.s. if you haven't yet already, do investigate the pros and cons of the hep b vax for your brand new baby since they will be offering it while still in the hospital... (hep b is a sexually transmitted disease. giving the vax at birth never made sense to me) Something to think about.

L.,

This will be one of your last chances to get some much-needed rest. Please let the nursing staff care for your new little one while you are in the hospital. This will allow you to get stronger in order to care for both children once you get home. The staff will bring the baby to you for nursing, bonding, cuddle time, etc.

I also have two small children and went through the same 'pros and cons' about rooming-in with my daughter when she was born. Put guilt aside and rest at the hospital, you will need it : )

Warm Regards,
Laurie, mother of a 3 year-old and 1 year-old

I wanted to room in with our first, (now 21 mos). They also encouraged it at the hospital and really didn't give us an option. I was so tired and my nipples were already cracked and bleeding and she just kept crying. Emotionally & physically I was a wreck and I had to call the nurses to take her so I could get a little sleep and get my sanity back. I think they took her for about 2 hours and brought her back to suck some more (it hurts just thinking about it now). You can tell we didn't have the best experience with that but I wouldn't have done it any differently. You don't get any sleep for the first month anyway, right!? It was my baby and with the exception of that one moment I wanted her right there with me, crying or not. It made me so sad to think that my baby was snuggled inside me just a few hours before and now we are separated in different rooms, I didn't even like to lay her in the bassinet next to me, because it was the farthest away we had ever been from each other. We are expecting again, our daughter will be 29 mos and I'm actually hoping to get out of there early so I don't have to be away from my husband and daughter for any longer than I have to, pending I'm feeling sane at the time. :o) I say room in!

I would never have been able to sleep without my precious newborn right beside me and knowing that he was ok. After all of that effort to carry my baby for 9 months and then work so hard to bring them into the world, nobody was going to care for my baby but me and my husband.
Those first couple of days are so important to be close especially since you have a toddler, those will be the only days that you will have with just you and this new baby.
It is also very important to read babies feeding signals as crying is a late sign and often the one that prompts the nurses to bring baby to mom to nurse. Then you have to calm baby down before you can latch on. If you catch her signals when she is just munching on her fist latching on is so much easier. As natural as nursing is it is still something that both mom and baby need to learn to do together.
What about looking at this from the babies perspective? Where would she most like to be? Isolated in a room of strangers or with the person who she just spent the last 9 months living inside of and biologically expects to be with?

Congrats L.! I roomed in with my first and will again with my second. In fact, she slept in the bed with me and we both slept beautifully! She was happy to be with (and bond with) the only person she knew and I knew my baby was safe and happy at all times. Also, we have never had any sleep problems to date, and she is 21 months! She moved to her crib easily, slept through nights from birth, and will still walk upstairs for naptime and bedtime without a fuss, and I think that feeling secure in her first nights of sleep set the foundation for that! Good luck!

Hi L.,

Here's my thoughts - my boys are 10 months apart, so I can relate on wanting to get your rest:

Let the nursery take care of the baby while you are there to get your rest. You will need it. I was able to get enough rest (of course, it wasn't my "own" bed like at home).

I told one of the nurses who felt I "should" have my son with me at all times "Look, I will have to change diapers and get up in the middle of the night with him and take care of him for the next 18 + years. You can handle him for one night. I'm going to need this rest, because I don't know when I'll get a chance to sleep again"

Bottom line - you do what you think is right for you. Don't let anyone "guilt" you into doing what you don't want to do. You are still a good mother even if you want to rest while at the hospital.

Good luck and keep us posted.

I remember when I was in the maternity ward at my hospital and I roomed in with my baby. You really don't get much rest during the day because the nurses have to check on you so often. And since you'll only get 2-3 days anyway I would suggest you send her to the nursery twice during the day so you can catch an hour or so nap; I did 10:30 am and 3:30 pm. That way you'll miss the shift changing of nurses and be awake for meals. As for sending her at night they'll bring her to you at least 3 times. but at least they'll change her diapie first :)

I'm all for rooming in. After all that time with nothing between me and my baby before he was born, there was no way he was leaving my sight. Didn't get much sleep in doing that, but my husband and I would have missed him WAY too much (and worried about him) to send him with the nurses. I'm all for getting as much sleep as you can, but, motherhood isn't so much about our comfort, is it?! Congrats to you & best wishes!!

I had my daughter room-in with me and I got absolutely no sleep the entire time at the hospital. I thought I'd be a "better mom" or would nurse better if she was with me. I was either too excited to stop looking at her, or at every sound she made, I would wake up...and it didn't help my nursing either...I was too tired to pay attention to her signals etc. I just got her every time she made a sound. Needless to say, once it was time to go home and I needed to be on-cue at home, I was exhausted. Give yourself this time to recover, have them bring her to you to nurse/visit, and just use this precious time to get ready for home and the work ahead of you. They'll be plenty of time for "rooming in" when you're home, LOL!!

Hi L.,
I wouldn't put any pressure on yourself one way or another. So many moms put way too much pressure on ourselves to do everything "perfect". We tend to be so selfless that we don't put things into perspective. You put your body through so much during labor and delivery. We all know that we don't sleep well for atleast a good month before we deliver and then we wipe ourselves out with laboring and pushing. We need to take care of ourselves. The baby will be so much better off if their mom has a little bit of recovery and rest. This doesn't mean it has to be at night. If you feed your baby in the afternoon and you know the baby will probably sleep for a couple of hours then send them to the nursery and have a couple of well deserved hours of sleep. You will feel much better and your baby won't be any worse off for it. "Sleep when the baby sleeps" does not apply when you have a toddler at home. The second time around is very different. Take the sleep when you can get it. Do what feels right at the time and toss out the guilt!! We have all of their lives to feel guilty about what we do and don't do right :)

MY DS was just 2 when my DD was born and I had a long and painful early labor. After having been up for 48 hours, I was so exausted, that I sent my baby to the nursery after her 11pm nursing, told them to give her a bottle for her next feeding, and to then bring her to me for her early am feeding. One of the nurses scolded me and told me it was going to ruin my supply, but I didnt care I was so tired! (and I BF'd my son til he was 13 months!) Anyway, it worked out great and didnt affect my supply at all. It was helpfull!

I guess I'll be the only one to say I loved rooming in. The thing that kept me awake was the nurses coming in to do their thing - not the baby at all. I remember that night as being magical.

All of that said - I didn't have a 20 month old.

Congrats L.! What a busy mom you will be! If there is any assistance I can provide please let me know! I own Bumblebug, a custom children's design company. I focus on hand-painted murals, furnishings and hand-sewn drapery. I develop custom packages to work within your individual budget. We also offer 10% off custom orders for mamasource membes. visit us at www.bumblebug.com

Thanks and congrats,

O.

I roomed in with my son and it was great. BUT every pregnancy is different - most women find they are more tired with subsequent deliveries because they have been caring for one (or more) little ones up until their water breaks. They don't have the luxury of resting up beforehand -- not that all women can "rest" that well anyway, if the fetus is moving around constantly, the back aches, and so on!

You will have a toddler to care for immediately upon returning home, who will probably want even more of your time because you've been away. You need to plan for that.

You are, this time, an experienced mom and may find you read your newborn's signals a little better just from having done it before.

I think you should do exactly what you feel like - even if you don't decide that until the baby is born - and not be pressured one way or the other. If you feel like you need the rest, send the baby to the nursery. It often takes babies a few days to figure out what the heck they are doing in this big, bright, noisy world - so a day or so in the nursery at night shouldn't make a lot of difference in the long run. If you feel badly being separated, don't do it. If you feel better because you are getting some sleep, don't feel guilty. There are pros and cons of each way, and I think it's best to listen to your own body after you see what kind of delivery you have had, and listen to your heart to decide what you need to do to take care of YOU so that you can be the best mommy for your kids.

Good luck, may your labor be short!

Let them take the baby! They will bring the baby in when hungry if you want to breastfeed, you'll have plenty of time to figure out their signals. One night they gave my baby formula instead of bringing her in (new shift nurse), I slept all the way through the night like a rock and i was pissed in the morning but boy did I feel great.

I roomed with my one and only baby. It was great but nerve wracking since I was tired (36 hrs labor) and didn't know what I was doing, my little guy only left for his shots. I kind of wished I had given him to the nurses between breast feeding so I could concentrate on sleep. I kept keeping one eye on him to stare at him in wonder and make sure he was still breathing (I'm a worrier) I would take advantage of the nurses while they are available if I could do it again, but that is just me

Hope this helps, Nat

When I had my second one, I couldn't even imagine not having her in the room with me. But I don't sleep well anywhere but my own bed, so I'd rather have her close.
My guess is that you'll know what you want after your baby is born. So much depends on the kind of delivery you had and how exhausted you are. When I had my second one, I was not nearly as exhausted as with the first. I really bounced back very quickly.

Hi L.:

I roomed with my son too when he was born. Although it gave me great bonding time with him, I found it extremely exhausting. When we arrived home, I felt that I didn't get ANY sleep in the hospital at all. Of course then, you know how life is with a newborn after that. So,I don't feel it's a great way to start off...just my advice.

Congratulations on your news and good luck with the delivery:)

L.

Hi L., I had my third baby about 19 mos ago. I did breastfeed her. I did need my sleep though and somewhat took advantage. I had the nurses bring her in every other feeding at night. It worked out great. I wouldn't worry too much about learning her hunger sygnals right then. You'll have plenty of time to do that when you get home. You're only in the hospital for a short time and my opinion is to take advantage of the nurses as much as you can.

Oh honey, send her to the nursery at night for those precious 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep!!! I did with both my girls and had no issues whatsoever bonding, nursing, milk supply, etc. My oldest was 22 months when my youngest arrived, and you are right - it will be hectic and tiring for you when you get home because you have a little one already there to care for, and you'll want to do as much as you can for her so she feels some normalcy in the midst of the craziness! I agree with the others - it is awesome that the nurses can bring the baby to you as you request, but she will come all nice and wrapped up with a clean diaper, things you won't have to do for a couple of days. Enjoy the little respite while you can get it. I kept my babies with me all day long when in the hospital and I seriously felt that we had bonded immensely and I had gotten to know them from having them with me from 6 a.m. until about 9 or 10 p.m. Good luck and let us know how it goes!!

Hi L.,

I also roomed in with my first daughter and really was unable to sleep at all. I left the hospital exhausted. The second time around approximately 17 months later I did opt for my 2nd to be taken to the nursery and I'm very glad that I did. I made sure they brought her to me to feed, but was able to get 3-4 hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. This made a huge difference when I got home. Good luck with whatever you decide. :)

The first night, baby slept with us and we were so tired and didn't sleep at all. I heard every sound the baby made and couldn't sleep a wink. I had already had a night without sleep, so by the third night, when the nurses asked, I said yep, sure, take him. They kept him for 6 hours during the night and it was the best decision I ever made. They even gave him formula for one of his feedings, even though I was going to breastfeed. He was fine and so was I! And the next day I was rested and ready for anything!

Once you're home there are no breaks. My suggestion is enjoy the rest while you can.

My first was in the NICU for breathing issues in the beginning, and then they kept her after that for jaundice, etc... so I had no choice in the matter. Personally, I think it was the best anyways - I tried hard to catch up on sleep, and they called me whenever she needed to nurse - and it was helpful for my recovery to just be alone in my room and sleep whenever I could. The day still flew by and I felt extremely tired despite all this because she ate every 2-3 hours, so you might as well allow them to keep the baby for longer periods of time if there is an option. You'll need all the rest you can - and you'll be too tired to pick up on the early signs of her needing to nurse... and you can catch right up on that at home. Also, with the baby not in the room, I had less interruptions and less visitors because they knew that she wasn't coming in the room. If you let people know that the baby will be mostly with the nurses, you might even have less interruptions! Good luck to you!!

I just delivered my third baby 5 months ago. I roomed in with my baby at night time as well as day because I wasen't comfortable with the fact that the babies had to cry and cry for some time before someone was able to get to them. Also, they had the lights blaring bright in the nursery around the clock. It just seemed like a cold, harsh, and unloving environment for my babies first days! I bonded so closely with my daughter and don't regret it at all. All she did was sleep anyway those first few days and weeks so I didn't lose much sleep!

Do whatever makes you comfortable at the time. And, you can change your mind anytime, even in the middle of the night. My first (and so far only) was born around midnight. By the time we were settled into the room for the night it was 3 am. I was determined to have her room in. She woke up every fifteen minutes. All night. My hubby and I were beside ourselves by morning. The second night, we had her in the nursery but brought in for nursing whenever she needed it. The nurses were great about being flexible and willing to change gears anytime we made a request. Best of luck with labor, delivery and juggling both babies' needs.

I kept my daughter with me all night. We were nursing her so i had to feed her any way so it was much better. If you are not nursing and doing the bottle take the chance and get the sleep. You only have few days to do that before you go home. Good luck.

L.,

I kept my daughter with me the whole time. In her case she was ease to sooth and would miss a feeding if she wasn't fed soon after she started to cry. I felt if I put her into the nursery she might miss a feeding and that wouldn't have been good. I don't know if this happens with all babies. I would say my duaghter woke up everyone 3-1/2 hours.

L. M

hi i roomed with my 4th child in the hospital because i was nursing him if u r going to deliver in Brattleboro i think they have you keep the baby in with you if you r nursing cause they wouldn't let me keep him in the nursery when i was there hope this helps

When I was pregnant I don't think I thought about where my baby would sleep when we were in the hospital. I had a c-section around midnight and was exhausted. When I was brought into the maternity ward, I was holding my baby and he was then brought to the nursery to be under the warming lights. When he was brought back to me about 5 hours later, he nursed and I fell asleep and that was were he stayed. I found it very easy and decided to keep him in the bed with me. All I had to do was move the bed up to nurse him and then back down to sleep. I had pillows propped on both sides of me to lay the baby on with my arm around him so he wouldn't roll off. Having the c-section also made it difficult and painful to get out of bed. I think he slept better because he was next to me snug and warm. I did ask the nurse once around 3 am after I nursed him to take him to the nursery and she did and brought him back about an hour later because he was hungry again. Iloved having him with me all the time.

Sarah W - you're not alone.

I loved rooming in. I wouldn't even consider not rooming in. It gives you a time to bond and just to be the 3 of you. Especially since you have another at home, you won't get to be one on one with your new baby much. (I say this with experience.) Take the time to just look at your baby sleep. After all they sleep a lot when they're in the hospital. Worst comes to worst - you can always send the baby to the nursery if you're getting no sleep - but that may not be an issue so try it. And enjoy it too.

Good Luck with everything.

I roomed in w/ my baby & wouldn't have had it any other way. I was in labor from Friday night to Tuesday afternoon and I was exhausted beyond belief. My labor ended in a C-section and the nurses and hospital personnel who checked on us constantly kept me up way more than the baby ever did! Of course, this is not a complaint, they were doing their jobs and I got great care, it just was not a well coordinated effort to let me rest with someone different checking something every hour or two for four days. Plus, after all the time it took to get her there, I wasn't letting her out of my sight! Every time they took her to do anything, I made my husband go with the nurse and bring her right back. I got established with my nursing very quickly that way and we established a good sleeping routine that way too. We slept/dozed together the whole four days I was in the hospital. She was either laying on my chest/stomach or curled up in the nook of my arm nursing the entire time and I wouldn't trade that chance to bond for anything in the world. The thought of her in a harshly lit, stark nursery just didn't feel right to me. Her place was with me and it was blissful. I say sleep is overrated compared to how precious they are their first few hours and days of life! It was so special that no amount of sleep in the world would be worth trading it for.

When my oldest son was born I never let him leave the room without my husband or I. 19 months later I delivered twins via c-section. I kept them in the room with me all day, but after the late night feeding and nursing shift change - I let them go to the nursery. It was great to get 3- 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. The nurses were fantastic about brining them back to me to nurse. I suppose it depends on how comfortable you feel with the hospital staff.
It felt to me like I had plenty of bonding time with them during the day. And the short rest in the night made a big difference in our ability to cope with two babies during the day.

Hi L.,

The reality is post delivery we are not in the hospital long enough to really make an impact in our level of rest. Most babies are relatively quiet the first few days after delivery and most moms are "high" on the excitment.

It is not until about day three when we hit the wall. Which coincidently coincides with the day we are discharged. Our milk comes in, our hormones crash and we are exhausted. I would look to find someone to come in and help with the toddler and general housework in the first weeks after delivery while you establish a routine with the newborn if finances allow. Or if not, you could have a friend or family member who is willing to help come over.

But, you must also be willing to accept the help! Some mom's don't know how to relax and let someone else take over. I suggest learning how to let go of some things and be able to relax in your own home while someone else helps.

Either way, most new mom's are simply sleep deprived, it comes with the territory. Nap when you can. This too will pass. Lower your expectations. My daughters are 21 months apart and I had no idea how different two would be versus one. The simplest things seemed difficult. If someone asked "paper or plastic"? I would be unable to make a decision! lol.

My daughters are now 9 and 7 and I wish I had followed my own advice! These days pass faster than you know. I'm reminded of a poem that had the words..."settle down cobwebs, dust go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep".

You can live on mac n cheese, grilled cheese, p.b. & j., and raw veggies (oh yeah, and chocolate and wine!) So enjoy those babies and please, don't try to be supermom. Noone will write on you gravestone. "She did it all without any help" God Bless to you and your family.

J. L.

With my second, we let the fabulous nurses take her to the nursery and I slept as much as I could before we left the hospital. Labor and delivery was so much exhausting and I had a toddler at home. I have never been sorry and found the nursing went ever better with our second. Babies know how to give hunger signals and moms know how to respond-rooming in or out won't change that.

my 2nd was 18 months when I had my 3rd. I kept her with me every second, that way I knew where she was at all times while in the hospital. When they're that small, they pretty much sleep most of the time, and if she is in with you, it will be quiet and comfy - I would take my girl out of the bassinet and sleep with her under my left arm, and never ever ever have I rolled onto her. She is almost 8 years old now, and an exremely secure and happy kid. She likes to run the show, or tries to anyway!
So I would say YES - enjoy the time you have with the child to sleep together. The saying is "sleep when the baby sleeps". You will know what to do. It's nature to be with your babies right as they are trying to deal with a whole new (loud and bright) environment. P.S. This is the only time you will have to be with your new baby, with nurses to wait on you hand and foot, and not have the 20 month old wanting/needing/demanding your attention...
Good Luck L.!!!!

Hi L.,
You have received quite a few responses to this message, but here is one more. I did not read through them, but here are my two cents' worth.

I roomed in with both of my daughters when they were born. They are 3 years (almost exactly) apart. My first was delivered naturally, my second was a c-section. Given the c-section, I was in the hospital for 5 days. I kept her in the room with me the entire time, except for the doctor/nurse checks which required her to be taken to the nursery AND one night when she kept crying and I had a massive headache.

My experience was that it was wonderful to have her there. I bonded immediately with her and enjoyed the entire time in the hospital. I was doing so well that my OB asked me if I would like to go home a day early--yes, really, I was recovering that well and I was in that good a mood throughout my stay!--but I told him that I knew what was at home waiting for me (a 3 year old and a sick husband). What is truly great about it is that if you feel like you aren't getting the rest you need, simply tell a nurse, they will take your baby to the nursery and return her when she's hungry (if you continue to plan to breastfeed). It is not like you can't change your mind. I would start out rooming in, and if it doesn't work, ask them to take her.

Hope this helps some...
Oh, yes, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!