Rules of a Broken Arm

Definitely weird, and not the rule when my daughter broke her foot and was in a wheel chair for 8 weeks. But that's not my call what that mom does. I'd think it's weird, talk to my husband about it, and move on about my day.

Well it certainly sounds strange but I suppose that's her business, and it's up to the teacher and staff to deal with.

Unless he crushed it and if it has the slightest jar that will open up all that mess then I'd say it's not normal in any way. IF the school is allowing this then it's been discussed and they've approved it. So let it go.

Why do you care?

Okay-- so you said it 'hit a nerve'-- let me ask you this?
What if this mother is right, that there is something critical going on with the broken arm because of her own child's proclivities? Boys are active. Maybe he has some medical issues she hasn't discussed with the Judgmental Parent Jury because she might get *more* flak from you all? Wouldn't you feel sort of dumb spending all this time worrying and talking about this amongst each other?

I've also seen some kids who have parents in the class for times when the child is struggling. I knew this because I spent time at the school and parents confided this to me because we were both there at the same time. Part of the reason I homeschool is that my son actually *needs* one on one instruction to be able to grasp the directions/information. He fails without that and I know the teacher cannot provide individual instruction.

Each child has their own individual needs. Some parents do not feel comfortable sharing that information with other parents because it's not necessary. Some kids would have benefited more from having their parent come more often during difficult times of the day for the student. Just because you don't see or understand the need doesn't mean the need isn't there. It's easier to label the mother as 'hovering' instead of accepting that there might be more going on than you have (or have the right to have) knowledge of. It's between the parent and the teacher, no one else.

I mean, really, how does it *directly affect you*?

We are just moms. We cannot tell you if this is normal. Mom's were trying to be helpful by asking some questions. Others said it wasn't any of your business. That response is NOT rude. It's their response to your question.

Have you not experienced someone asking you a question to which you replied,"it's none of your business?"

I wonder why you're getting into that mother's business? Unless you were present at the doctor's visit and know this mother well, i.e are friends you do not have all the information. I suggest it's very normal for you to be interested enough to question it. But, when you then ask strangers if it's normal you are asking for agreement. Really, why does it matter to you?

I suggst that When someone says it's none of your business, you feel it's rude because they are calling you out. My mom's generation would say, "if the shoe fits, wear it." I suggest that if you were confident this is your business or would say, "I'm just curious" you would not need to object by calling it rude.

Ya know when I was a stay at home mom we had our group of hens that would gossip while we waited to pick up our carpools. We would speculate this or that to pass the time as well. Thing is once we got our kids in the car when never gave those discussions a second though. They were trivial and we had our own kids to raise.

So you may want to consider that you are the only one of the five who is dwelling on this because in the end, doesn't harm you, doesn't harm your kid, and to quote Nervy, why do you care?

Oh and so I don't have to bother to answer your other question that arose from your hen discussion group, their school, they make the rules. Who cares if you haven't met the new principal. If you want to meet them, call and make an appointment.
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Wow, so you had to edit with the caps lock of rage? Seriously, people don't agree with you, so what? It really is none of your business and if this occupies this much space in your head perhaps you need a hobby. Most do not have the time to even think about other people's kids while raising their own let alone dwell so much as to post a question and get mad at everyone else.

Honestly, this is between the mom and the school. Doesn't really have anything to do with you so not really any of your business.

Just last year, around this time, a friend of mine was in a similar situation to this mom you and your friends are talking about.

Her youngest, early elementary, had a medical incident that landed him in the hospital for more than a week. Once released, he had to recuperate quietly at home with as little movement as possible. I mean this little guy had to be still---all the time with the exception of bathroom breaks.

He was improving, but his situation was still serious. The doctors finally released him to return to school, but it was crucial that he not be bumped or accidentally hit or there would have been negative consequences.

The parents worked very closely with the administration, the teacher, and the school nurse to ensure his safety at school. His teacher had prepped the other kids to give him lots of room, so as not to accidentally run into him. He ate lunch in the nurses office and stayed indoors during recess until he was fully healed and released by his doctors to return to all activities.

You would have seen his mom around the school because she's a huge volunteer there anyway, but the teacher welcomed her to come by the class any time.

The thing is, looking at this young child from the outside, if you knew nothing about his situation, you would never, ever know there was any problem.

We never really know the whole story unless we hear it from the source, do we?

My motto is, if it doesn't affect me, it really isn't my business.

I don't know. My niece broke her arm at the end of last school year. Her mom had to keep checking on her while she was asleep. Why? Because due to the type of break (it twisted) and location, there was a risk of her arm swelling if she had it positioned wrong, and the swelling could have complicated things severely, including having to completely recast and possibly use pins, if I remember right. This was a 3rd grader.

So, I don't think that it's "normal." But that doesn't preclude it from being an unusual case. You never know.

Recovering from sickness and or injury is different for each individual. Who are we to say what is normal when we don't deal with the sick or injured on a daily basis.

First grade is very young still and little boys tend to be generally more physical with each other than girls so I can see the possible need to be a more protective mom in the case of some mothers with their children in this age range.

When little ones are in a cast, it is normal for doctors to expect the parents and care tenders of the child to have a particular protocol which may seem over the top to some but healing broken bones is nothing to take lightly.

Try to be more supportive and less inquisitive after all it does take a village and you are a part of this kids village of caring adults. Wouldn't you want other parents to have this same level of care for your child if the tables were turned?

UPDATED
I couldn't help but notice you changed the framework of your post to open with a scolding of mom's responding to your post. If you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen. I was trying to be kinder and gentler but your update has me fuming. I'm like SERIOUSLY!?! I guess NervyGirl hit the nail on the head when she responded, "really, how does it *directly affect you*?"
Final thoughts you and your group need to mind your own business and get lives that are more caring and loving for others instead of judging them and dragging us into your drama. lol.

Certainly unusual, however, I can think of a couple of reasons for this:

1. The kid has an illness or disorder which means that a broken bone might cause a serious problem. There could be nerve damage, or the possibility of internal bleeding due to a medical condition, or the break could be in a very sensitive area, or the kid could have a genetic condition that means a break is much more than the usual broken arm that so many kids get. You might not know about the genetic condition, and there are some disorders that make routine injuries extremely potentially serious. One of my daughter's "invisible" medical conditions means that wounds will heal very poorly. Even a normal cut that I'd ordinarily put a bandaid on can mean that a doctor will need to tend to it because she lacks collagen, and the resulting scarring could be problematic (both in appearance, and if the wound is in a place that bends like a knuckle or elbow, the scarring can make movement limited).

2. The mom is one of those who will rush her child to the ER if he is reading a book and happens to clear his throat. She'll weep that she probably has lung cancer and beg for MRIs and some doctor will hopefully talk with her. Hopefully she'll get counseling if she's that kind of mom. Maybe she knew someone who broke their arm and in the Xrays it turned out that the doctors found a tumor and she is replaying that in her mind and she can't let it go.

3. The child is spoiled and the mom is acquiescing to his every whim. "My arm is broken, mommy, so can I have ice cream for breakfast?" She's in for a rough ride.

4. Or she's just one of those moms who will never let their kid out of their sight, and he'll live at home forever. I know an elderly woman who never married. She revealed to me one day that when she was in high school, and college, if she were asked out on a date her mother would cry and get hysterical (literally), sobbing "if you ever moved away from me I would die." She ended up not dating. She lived at home. When she graduated from college she got a job as a teacher a couple of towns away (too far to commute). Her mother forced her father to sell their home and they moved to that town so the woman could continue to live at home. She said her mother ruined her life and any chance she had for independence, for marriage, for her own family, but the threats and extreme reactions from her mom really made her afraid for her mother's sanity and safety. And her father felt the same way. He'd say "we have to protect your mother". She says she lives with regret every day that no one in her family had the courage to get help for her mother. I hope this kid doesn't live in a similar situation.

Either way, it's unusual but you probably will never know. Hopefully he doesn't have a serious illness, and the mom will realize that a broken arm is a pretty normal part of childhood and he survived and she'll relax a little. But in the meantime, be kind (I'm sure you are - not implying that you're not). She might be fighting a battle that you can't see.

I'm thinking along the same lines as RK and Isn'tthisfun.

I don't think it's the norm - I myself had a cast on as a seventh grader on my arm. However, I will say - I was an active kid and I am sure I did more than I should have done, it didn't set properly. I had broken part of my hand too and that has caused me issues over the years. I can't squeeze a tennis ball for example. I know - how often do I do that.. just an example.

They do say that you are not supposed to cause any force or pressure to it - so for a little boy, engaging in games at recess or lunch, maybe it's a concern. Maybe the mom is a bit over the top. But sometimes they do have to reset it or re-cast it - and maybe she just doesn't want to go through that - so she's being a bit neurotic. If there were pins involved and it was painful - maybe she doesn't want him to go through all that again. Who knows.

I knew a kid who had a toenail procedure done. The poor kid had to avoid children in case a child stepped on her foot unknowingly. Of course, chances are slim - but when I watched them all playing together, even I (not her mom) got a bit nervous because when kids play, they all do lump together and chase and bump into each other. It's just life.

So if they'd rather say "we'll take him home" to avoid recess or playground or gym ... then that's their prerogative. Because telling a little boy - ok, you can't go on the slide, swings, monkeybars, chase kids, play tag ... maybe that's too hard for that particular little boy. Maybe he's not the type to follow rules and he's the kind that would go jump on his buddy and tackle him.

Again, who knows?

I sometimes go "huh" when I see a mom do something I wouldn't. But I am positive I do things that other parents shake their heads at.

Years ago, a child in the third grade had an accident and injured his arm. He had a partial cast on, which the doctor sent him to school with, saying "Tell the teacher the cast can't move at all and if it does, he could lose all use of his hand, due to nerve damage." Seriously, this happened. Because the teacher wanted to handle it herself, the mother marked the child's arm with a magic marker to show where it started and stopped, and the child was old enough to tell the teacher if it moved.

So I guess I'm saying that strange things do happen.

It's possible. It would depend on the nature of the break - exactly where it is, how fragile it is, whether or not it's near a growth plate.

It does seem like most of the time when you hear of someone breaking a bone, they have to be in a cast for so long (I was in a cast for 6 weeks). But sometimes the break is just so, and it actually is in danger. My nephew broke his finger and had very strict guidelines. If he didn't follow them or things didn't go as expected, he would have required surgery and pins inserted.

Who knows about his particular situation, but it is possible.

Haha - "a child stated she plans on bringing him to school once a week".

Another child stated he is secretly in training to be a ninja, maybe? Has ninja school the rest of the week?

If it doesn't impact your life or your child's life, don't think so hard about it.

On the other hand, if you are feeling like it is unfair because you would like to bring YOUR child once a week, ask the principal.

I'm confused. Was your question whether this happens sometimes with a broken bone or whether or not it's your business? I thought you were asking if this is normal... So to answer your question, I've never heard of it but given his age, maybe he is not at all careful so the doctor said he needs to be monitored closely for a few weeks. Some boys that age are pretty crazy active. I have heard you still have to be careful once a bone is in a cast versus you can bang it all around.

I don't know if it is normal...my son broke his elbow and had a cast from tips of fingers to above elbow (about half way to arm pit). They told me if the bone shifted he would need surgery/pins. He went to school just fine.

He was even tackled in the gym by accident before school...and we went back to the doctor for a check and everything was good. (his arm at the top of the cast was bruised from the fall on it).

Maybe it was a really really bad break. We had a child shatter her leg like in a bunch of pieces and was in a wheel chair, then a walker, then crutches and finally a boot over several months. Her parents took turns coming up and walking her around school because she was scared of hurting it further. She had a lot of hardware in her leg under the cast.

So maybe he had surgery and has a bunch of pins and plates in his arm. And even a small bump could do damage. You can't see inside the cast to know if surgery was done.
Poor boy!!

sounds super weird to me.
khairete
S.

It sounds super strange to me.
That behavior would not fly around here. Our schools welcome moms who have completed and passed the background tests to come volunteer and help but NO ONE sits with their child all day.

There was a mom a few years ago who wouldn't leave in the mornings and the principal instructed her to leave before the bell with everyone else or drop the child off at the door and don't come in. It was not good for the child because she could not socialize with others. This mom was there for lunch daily and tried to go to recess with her as well. Geesh. There are some major helicopters out there.

Is this an actual public school? Daycare? Montessori? What other families do or don't is not really business.

Was it a compound fracture? That's the question I would have. My son broke his arm and had a cast for 6 weeks. (He was in 3rd or 4th grade.) His was not a compound fracture. It hurt him a lot for a week, and then for a week after the cast came off.

Since I don't know what a compound fracture would be like, I'll reserve judgment. But if it's not, I don't think it would be necessary.

If it's some sort of an unusual break, then maybe the kid needs to stay home with it - school might be too risky.
If it's a typical break - you can hardly keep the kids from running around a week after the cast is on and they keep it on 8 weeks - for that sort - there's no issues with going to school.
It's possible it's a tricky case, but I've never heard of one like this myself.

I think mom might be nervous about what happens if he has to use the bathroom or has trouble with lunch or rough houses in the classroom. He's little and she might be having that mom guilt where you think you could have done something to prevent something from happening so you go way out of your way to make sure nothing bad happens again. What she needs is her husband, parents, or friends to tell her to get a grip and let it go. Until then its really between the school and her. I can't imagine a public school that would put up with this.

No it's not "normal". That's why there is a CAST, to protect from further injury. Sounds like she's a helicopter mom but you already said she was so not sure why you needed to ask this. Just by questioning it you know it's not normal. Good luck.

I guess the general consensus is that we're supposed to keep the judging on mamapedia and not spread it into our everyday lives😂😂😂
Sorry😎

My son broke his arm when he was in 3rd grade. No, you do not need to supervise him every minute. That is why it is in a cast! It sounds like he has an overprotective mom. Just ignore and move on. Don't worry about it if she wants to follow her son around while he heals. It's kind of odd but the world is filled with all kinds of people!