?'S About More than One Baby Shower

Updated on July 11, 2007
T.G. asks from Villas, NJ
32 answers

OK. I wanted to know if it is ok to have a baby shower with each child. I was always told that you don't unless there's a huge gap between children or if it's a different sex. My friend is having a shower for her second child which is the same sex as her first and her first child is only two. I'm just confused because I would love to have another shower eventhough I'm having another girl and they are only gonna be 16 months apart. But they are being born in different seasons and I didn't know what I was having with my first child so everything that I have, clothes wise, is neutral and is not approipriate for the season. I guess I would just like to know what everyone else thinks-whether you have done this or know someone who has and how it went. I don't want people thinking I'm being rude. I wouldn't plan it for myself and the help if I was to have one would be great. Things have been really tight trying to get ready for another baby so it would be great to have one, but at the same time I don't absolutley need to have one. I know I keep going back and forth but I just need some advice Thank You in advance for any suggestions you may have!!!

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D.S.

answers from State College on

My friend has 2 little girls close together in age, but different seasons just like you, so she had the same problem. So her mom threw her a "sprinkle" with just a few of her closest family and friends (ie, no aunts you hardly talk to, only people who truly want to celebrate the baby and wont think you're "begging for gifts").

Everyone commented on what a great idea it was!

1 mom found this helpful
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H.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I had my Daughter 14 yrs ago and she was my only one i got a shower with,untill i just recently had a lil girl in Jan 07 with 10 yrs apart from my son to her my family gave me one.but i have to say we did buy every thing big she needed i myself wouldn't ask someone to buy some of the big things we wanted.layaways worked for us

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S.

answers from Philadelphia on

We have done diaper showers. They help the new mom out a lot! No running out of diapers at 3 am! We would get to gether on who would be buying what size and also receipts help when exchanging diaper sizes. Other than that they are pretty universal. Congratulations!

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A.O.

answers from Philadelphia on

I personally think that another typical chocolate bars in diapers baby shower is not in the best of taste since they are so close together. I had a boy and girl 21 months apart and didn't have two showers. I think that is just for your first BUT that is just my opinion. However, that is not to say that a fun get together with friends and family, maybe a little smaller than your first shower with just your close folks, would be very nice. Celebrating a baby's arrival is not in bad taste-it is just how you deliver the invite. I like the idea of gifts being optional. I can't imagine that anyone wouldn't bring you a gift, but that at least gives them the option. Congratulations! Have fun with this baby too. With my second I thought that no one was really as excited or interested as with my first. I was actually a bit offended that my in laws weren't very interested at all! Getting everyone as excited as you are about your new addition is important. Good luck with everything and I hope you have a really good time whatever you decide to do!

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L.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

I'm sorry, but generally showers for babies so close together is considered tacky. Sorry to be blunt. I know that having showers for each pregnancy seems to be coming into fashion a bit these days, but I refuse to go to them. My children are 25 months apart, both boys and both born in the same season. I was given a shower for my firstborn. We didn't know that we were having a boy, so we received lots of neutral baby outfits. No big deal. Our second son wore those and was just as adorable as his brother. Also, family and friends closest to us brought or sent gifts right after our second was born. That pleased me so very much when people visited or sent a gift, because I knew they did it totally on their own. They were not prompted to do so by a shower invitation. And four years ago, when we became the legal guardians for a 14 year old boy, we actually received some very thoughtful gifts at the time. I was floored, since that was completely unexpected! We were given gift certificates for restaurants, sports tickets, and one of my husband's clients even offered us his shore house to us for a week so that we could spend some quality time together at the outset of our living together and widening our family.
Believe me, God has a way of providing what you need.

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L.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

Any more anything gose. If you don't have one before the baby is born Then you can have one after the little of joy is born and have it like a welcome to the family type thing. My oldest to my youngest are 7years apart. And I was told that you only get one. Well my mom made sure that I had another one. Times have changed. Saftey regluations have changed to. Go for it. You are always going to have the joy of being prego and be spollied all the time.

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A.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

I don't want to sound mean, but a second shower is very inappropriate. Showers were 'invented' as a way for the older generation and those who have gone before to help out the newbies and welcome them to motherhood- whether the help be in the form of advice, food, chores, or gifts. With each consecutive child, there isn't that necessity as the parents already have some idea what is to come. To say that someone needs to have a second shower because the second child is a different sex or born in a different season sounds only like a way to get presents. As someone else said, after the baby is born those who want to will most certainly send something for the baby. I know this is a hotly debated subject and my opinions are probably not the same as others so hopefully I have not offended.
I truly believe every baby is a blessed gift straight from God- and God who sent the gift will provide in unexpected ways. (My first two blessings are 12 months apart, then the third is 14 months after the second) I wish you all the best as you head into this adventure with two children (especially so close in age). From experience I can tell you it is new everyday and you never know what to expect- but the joy you will feel is incredible.

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D.Z.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi Congrats! My son just turned 1 in may, I am due with #2 in oct. My mom has already told me we are having a diaper daiquiri party. the idea is to get the daiquiri you bring a pack of diapers.

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J.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We had a Birthday Party for our son the day the weekend following him coming home. It was more for our then 2 1/2yr old daughter to have something to celebrate. It did certainly help us with some items that we needed. I do feel that it is fine to have a shower for each child, but it is really up to your friends and family as to whether or not they are willing to throw one for you. The idea of a "Sprinkle" is quite cute also. COngratulations for your up and coming little one. Good luck with everything.

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L.N.

answers from Reading on

If someone throws it for you it is fine! Now a day everyone around that I see preg is getting a shower ,even if they already had one!

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L.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

T.

You do whatever you want to do! It's okay to have another shower...because you lose things along the way with the first...and maybe you could just ask for clothing and the things you really need...which isn't too much...make your shower fun!!!

L.

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E.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

In my opinion, one shower is all you get. The one exception to the rule might be if the children are born far apart. Far enough apart that you have given all the baby stuff away. I do not think the second child being a different sex is reason to have a shower. Even if someone wants to throw you a shower not everyone who they would invite might agree with a second shower. In my experince, after the baby is born people who want to buy you something will stop by to meet the new baby and bring a gift. You could end up with a lot of seasonal clothes that way. This of course is just my opinion.

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Y.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think if you want one, you should have one. Make it just a fun party for you and your friends. If you are shy about seeming greedy or rude, just put on the invites that gifts are optional. By the way, congratulations!!!!

Y.

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A.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I don't think it's right to have a second shower unless there is a significant age difference between the children. My daughter turned two in March and I am having another girl soon (I'm due June 28th). I've already had people buying clothes for the new baby here and there. I'm not expecting a shower, though a diaper shower would be wonderful! I haven't pitched the idea, though...I'd rather someone come up with it on their own. Also, you could have an open house or something after the baby is born and invite people who wouldn't normally get to see the baby. I would put that gifts weren't expected. Chances are they'll bring them anyway. My MIL's friend had a party for me after my first daughter was born with friends of my MIL who would never get to see the baby since we attend a different church than my in-laws. It worked out great.

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M.A.

answers from Allentown on

Congrats!! I don't see anything wrong with celebrating new life. Even though your girls are close in age, there are ALWAYS things you need.

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T.R.

answers from Allentown on

That close together I definitely wouldn't... and if your friend threw her own shower that's just rude... Talk to your family and friends - I'm sure you'll get gifts... mention that "you can't believe how much stuff you need again" and go from there. That and keep saving and check out freecycle.org.

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N.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

That's tacky, I'm sorry to be so blunt about it. Find a way to not goto the shower but have a gift for her after the baby is born.

It's OK if the kiddies are like 7 yrs apart and/or opposite sex.

I had a friend do that with EACH child (she has A LOT of kids)
- We all stopped going cause it's tacky.

N.

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L.R.

answers from Reading on

in my opinion every child deserves a shower. I hate it when people say that " you already had a shower so we dont need another one " Some peoples theory is that if someone was going to buy you a gift then they would reguardless if you have a shower or not. That is not the case. My daughter was 3 when my son was born and we hardly got any gifts. We had to go and buy new everything becuase when we moved we gave away a lot of our baby stuff becuase we didnt have the space here. ao i say Have one !

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A.N.

answers from Cleveland on

Personally, I would not do it. People will give you gifts for the second baby if they really want to. If you have a shower, everyone who is invited is sort of obligated to send a gift. My girls are 20 months apart, and I would have never wanted anyone to feel obligated to give me a gift especially if they just did it less than two years ago for the first child.

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

I have heard that typically you only have one shower. I have heard was that if the babies were 7 or more years apart, then it's more appropriate. The only other time I've been to a second shower was when a friend had twins. Obviously, you need alot more stuff when having twins and I was very happy to go and help her get the stuff she needed. However, this shower was much smaller, only very close friends and family. Hope this helps.

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L.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

16 months apart is way too close to have a second shower. It is imposing to make people feel they have to buy you a second shower gift so soon. In fact, if clothers are your concern, I would bet your family and friends will gift you and the new baby with new outfits. Let them do it out of choice, not make it mandatory with a shower invitation. Good Luck!

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A.D.

answers from Reading on

I have thrown a diaper shower where people can get you all different diapers and anything else they want but they don't feel obligated to get you a huge or big gift like before. It is smaller but a great way to get people together and get gift cards and some extra stuff. Rememebr you can always return things you don't need to get the stuff you do, I know it sounds terrible but everyone does it... i just woudl not expect anything big. You can still make a registry too for those peopel who want to buy you somethign for the baby but have no clue what to get you. I did that for our third so we woudl have somethings new for her, but it was small stuff liek onesies and outfits.

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T.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

It depends on who is throwing the shower. I did not have a family and friends baby shower for my second, I declined the offer from my mother in law because I did think it was tacky. My first was a boy and my second was a girl. Of course, seeing how I had kept every item of clothing my son wore, I had a girl. I was thrown a surprise shower at work.. The shower wasn't for big stuff, they threw it so they could buy Lily cute little pink dresses and we could pig out for a half hour on goodies. It is very common at my job to have second and third showers but the reason is so that every new baby has somethings that are new and everyone loves shopping for baby clothes. For me it was very nice, my schedule had been packed and I only had 1 outfit for her. I was thrilled and I also did accept any presents sent by family members. But I would have felt highly uncomfortable throwing a huge shower.

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E.

answers from Philadelphia on

It isn't really appropriate to have 2 showers for children so close in age - and it is really inappropriate to organize your own shower - otherwise it looks like you're just begging for gifts.

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L.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Congratulations! I think it is okay to have a shower for each baby. If it is acceptable to have a birthday party for each of our children every year why is it not okay to have a shower for each of them to celebrate their actual day of birth and prepare for their arrival? In my opinion this is a special time in our lives that we like to share with others, just as we do birthdays, weddings, baptisms, etc. A shower can be a fun, bonding experience for expectant mothers and their relatives and friends. Yes, presents are given, but they don’t have to be expensive. It may be more appropriate to have a diaper party type event for consecutive babies since you may not need a crib, stroller, changing table or activity station, but you will need diapers, wipes, baby wash, diaper cream, baby lotion, etc. It may also be more appropriate to invite a small group of guests – those you are close to and who would truly want to be part of a celebration. I wouldn’t recommend planning your own shower but hope someone close to you would be willing to accommodate your request. If it turns out you don’t have a shower don’t fret about it. Your baby will be welcomed in a variety of ways by different people in your life, which you probably experienced with your first one.

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J.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

In my opinion i don't think it's right exspecially if it's the same sex and not that far apart.

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M.A.

answers from Allentown on

My kids are 13 years apart, so I was thrown a shower for my second child. I had nothing in my house for babies anymore. Not a thing! I was NOT expecting one, though, because I always thought that showers were a one-time thing.

I find, however, that my husband & I are constantly commenting on how much "stuff" my son (now 2) has - and how much we really don't need. If I had another one, I'd have PLENTY of stuff (& fortunately all of the baby clothing was neutral) - and, quite frankly, no room in the house for more!

That said, I think a little something with only the closest of friends and relatives (that other post that called it a "sprinkle" was a cute idea) is nice for a celebration, but I think you'll be surprised at the amount of gifts you'll get after the birth. I'm disappointed these days at how materialistic everyone seems to be about babies these days - I get caught up in it too. What do babies really NEED when you get right down to it?

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S.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

its okay to have two yes there are some who will say your being selfish. but these are two different children I had two baby showers my son was two when I had my second shower the only reason I'm not going to have another for my third child is because I dont really need anything but baby bottles which I think I can handle getting on my own. I saved all the stuff from my last two kids. good luck

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B.C.

answers from Allentown on

I have had people throw me 8 baby showers for my six children. It just depends if family and friends want to throw one for you. My grandmother always said,'EVERY baby deserves something new and should be treated no less than the first."

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B.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You can always get together with someone and they can say its a "surprise" shower lol
I don't think there is anything wrong with multiple baby showers no matter what. Babies are definately a cause for celebration and are EXPENSIVE no matter what. Maybe do a themed one, where people bring just diapers, or just books... etc. babycenter.com has a lot of great ideas for themed showers.

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

in my family the tradition is one baby shower and that is it. i had one before my first then i had my second 2 years later was not a big deal i had all the major stuff i needed (crib, highchair,etc) but i was alittle up set when my birth control failed and i just got rid of all of my baby stuff and i was pregnant with my third and i wish someone thru me another baby shower but nope because it was my third child and i already had my one. Everybody is different now a days so if you want two then have two

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A.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I'm having my 4th baby, my 3rd Girl, and my son is 10 - youngest is 4. I would LOVE LOVE a shower because most of my gear is as old as my son. This baby is being born in a different season than my other kids (I have a dec boy, 2 spring girls and now a fall girl) Things are very tight as I'm a sahm. Nobody has offered and I'm not going to ask. You'll be surprised at how much you'll be able to use of your first daughters things. You certainly don't need any new gear except maybe a double stroller.

On the other hand, I believe that EVERY BABY DESERVES CELEBRATING!! So if someone wants to have a shower for you -- enjoy yourself!

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