Hi A.,
I'm a WFHM (work from home mom - not sure if that's yet an acronym - not too pretty but, there you have it) and I can't tell you how many times people have asked how I get what I do, done. I can't say, in all honesty, that I keep a perfect house or that I don't have out-of-control days. I do. However, I do have a few tricks I think have worked out well. So, for what it's worth:
1) I use this phrase a lot: "I am only one person." My kids can name that sentence in one note :-). I am not the scullery maid, meant to do endless piles of dishes and clean and cook and fold laundry constantly. I'm not the only member of this family so - even from as early as the age of 2 our children have had chores; age-appropriate tasks they can do on their own; tasks that a) help them feel important b) build esteem in a job well done c) understand their duty, value and benefit to the family, ideas we hope will one day transfer to community on a larger scale.
I started them with simple tasks built around whatever I was doing - so, if I was in the kitchen, putting dishes away, they could be sweeping the floor, for instance. It wasn't a perfect job to start, but I didn't expect perfection - just their getting used to pitching in! They helped match socks while I folded laundry, refill the napkin holder, dry and put away their dishes, etc. I also have maintained cupboards way down low that have all kid-friendly dishes and utensils so, while I'm making dinner, they can do things like clear and set the table. Plus, if they're thirsty, they have the capacity to take care of that need without asking for help all the time. Anyway - I've found that if you turn every chore you do into a shared event, where everyone is valuable to the process of this great work, it's behind you sooner than later and you actually wind up with more energy to do other things with your kids.
Drastic times call for more drastic measures - when things got really messy, I have a fun thing they actually enjoy doing with me - I made aprons for each of our girls and we play "merry modern housewife" - I know it sounds like a scene from a movie that would cause valley girls to gag (giving away my generation, I know), but they love it and are eager to do things like scrub my kitchen floor with great big sponges (and they actually do a pretty good job of it!) - WHO can't use that kind of help, I ask you?!
2) In addition to not expecting myself to be the solo one responsible for taking care of the family when it comes to cleaning, etc. - I don't believe it's my job to entertain my children constantly. Kids are amazing! I keep a craft table up at all times - a place they mess and clean, themselves. I've told my kids from early ages that every human being needs time alone - it started with naps, then 'quiet time' and now it's a stretch of time they willingly seek out on their own - to read, create or whatever. When left to their own devices, they do very creative stuff. One week, they opened a restaurant called "The Golden Pepper" and invited me to dine - sign on the door, table and chairs, menu, a chef, a waitress, fake food and a singing toddler for entertainment. Lovely - whatever did kids do without t.v. and video games...hmmmm....!
3) In our house, we do tea time nearly every afternoon. It's a chance to sit and enjoy just being - talking, eating a treat and whatever. Just a space of time every day that is about these simple pleasures - a comfort thing I guess.
4) I encourage them when they're eager to learn to cook and sew - things I obviously enjoy but things that, as they learn them, give them skills and independence. They love being in the kitchen - last night, we made lollipops. Real, old fashioned lollipops - and that was very exciting, of course!
Okay - I could go on - the point is, life is messy. It's okay to claim some 'me' time in whatever way you can. It's okay to put your kids to work, to shut down the television and learn the old ways again. Something we started a few months back is, every Friday night, we shut off all the lights and appliances and pretend we have a blackout. Just like during a storm. We cook our meal on the gas stove and hang out by candle-light. As bedtime approaches, one of us hits the lights and we all act surprised! Wow! Got the power back!!! It's amazing how much fun you can have while helping the planet, too :-).
Enjoy your time. Spend it well. If you do, the energy will follow.
WR,
T. B