Sahm's - How Long Did You Stay Home?

Well, I've got two college students and one sophomore in hs and I'm still not working. At this point I guess I'm a housewife more then a SAHM. I like it and I'm good at it.

:)

My oldest is a college sophomore and my youngest is a high school senior. I've been home with them the whole time. I have found that the older they get the more they need you. They need you to volunteer at school, to go on field trips, to be the room mother, to help with homework... the list goes on. As they get older they still need you to help at school. I'm involved at the high school where most people think that help isn't needed. It is desperately needed at that level.
I will not go back to work when my daughter goes off to school in the fall. My husband is happy to have me at home. I will continue to get the chores done, the bills paid, the cars repaired, etc. I will also continue to volunteer with the organizations that I find worthy of my time.
YMMV
LBC

my oldest is 11 and have been home since I got pregnant with her. I was in the process of looking for a job in a new city when I got pregnant , since I didn't find a job I just stayed home.

I have been home full time for 13.5 years now. There are no plans for me to go back to work. I have no desire..and there is no financial need.

This was an arrangement we decided when we were seriously dating. The plan was for one of us to be home to take care of the home and kids full time. For us it just made sense for it to be me. I birthed them...my body was their food source. And, my husband makes waaaaay more than I ever could teaching. I feel I am a natural nurturer and love the homemaking aspects of being home full time.

This year is the official year that all three kids are in school all day. Last year was our last year with 3 hour kindergarten. Halelujah!!

I got comments all the time,from well intentioned friends and acquaintances, and still do regarding what will I do with all my time when all 3 are in full day school. I can assure you that the time fills up.

I am not doing housework all day. My days fill up now more with my own personal time, exercise, scripture study/meditation/prayer and meeting up with friends. I fit in shopping,meal planning/preparing, and routine housekeeping throughout the week too. I also have a lot more time now to serve needs within my church and community as well as be more available for school functions/field trips/classroom volunteering.

I love the freedom that being home full time brings to our family. Another huge plus is I have time to bust my arse at home so my husband can fully wrap his brain around his work. If kids are sick we know who stays home with them. If kids have appointments we know who takes them. My husband thanks me almost daily for being willing to make our home and family MY job. He knows it has allowed him to progress in the company and be a better provider. He tells me he could never do what he does if it weren't for me.

As a side note. Just because kids become independent and mature doesn't mean they need us less. They actually need us more. I find that right after school is their most stressful time. They need to unload,unwind and relax. I have sat through many discussions from 3pm-6pm that just may not have waited til later in the evening after work/dinner. I am glad I have been there through some tough chats...if I wasn't there, I am afraid who or what they would have turned to.

Good luck and best wishes!!

I have been home for 16 years now. I love to study what interests me. I have taken some classes here and there. Believe me, teens need just as much supervision as two year olds. We are not well off and I have done a great deal of remodeling in our home over the years. I am a pretty awesome drywaller, mudder, and taper. I have also taught my son quite a bit of handy work around the house. I have changed out light fixtures, made quilts and curtains, painted inside and out, sanded and sealed the deck, pulled up carpet, taken down wallpaper, floated walls, built benches and laid flooring. I also enjoy taking old furniture and recovering and refinishing it. There are lots of hobbies I have taken up over the years as well, like photography, gardening, landscaping, framing pictures, and reading. I read all the time. I am not one for romance novels. History and theology are some of my favorites. I don't like just reading the book, I end up studying them like you would if you were taking a class. When we moved into an area where the school system was less than desirable, I ended up bringing my kids home and teaching them and now I am busy all the time. My husband is a police officer and his schedule is crazy. I don't think it would work for me to be employed outside the home. The kiddos would never have both parents at home at the same time. My husband isn't one to do house cleaning but he does help with most of the home improvement work though. I can always find lots to do at home, in fact sometimes I have more on my plate than I can physically do so I end up teaching the kids how to do it and calling it woodworking or some other class. I'm not sure this will help but it works for me.

I think its a real blessing for the family for mom to be home even when kids are off to school. You can take the cars in for maintenance, no worries if a kid stays home sick, get all the house work done on weekdays for more family time on weekends...

I think its true that going back to work adds stress to the family, and often means after school programs. Who stays home when kids are sick? Now chores and things need to be done on weekends which will infringe on family time, as well, husband will need to pitch in more, where as before you made his life easier. You will have less to give your family, physically, emotionally, sexually.

If there is some part time work you can do or volunteer in your kids school, thats a great way to be productive with your freed up time.
What about adding daily exercise, joining a bible study, or volunteer work?

Hi J.! Our lives seems similar - my husband travels a ton for work and we are pretty comfortable living on his salary. My kids are in 3rd and 6th grade, and I have been at home since the second one was born. I think my husband and I make a great partnership because I make his life easy and make it so he can do what he needs to do at work and not worry about doing much at home. I take care of EVERYTHING when it comes to the house and the kids. He will occasionally mow the lawn :) What does he do for me? He works his buns off so that I can stay home, and so that we can live the comfortable life we live. For us, it works. I'd love to have my career back someday (I was a high school teacher) but right now I don't need that stress in my life. I know how hard teachers work (and how many hours outside of school) and I just don't have the time for that right now when I am alone M-F.

So, to keep my mind from becoming mush I've been substitute teaching since my little one went to kindergarten. I love the flexibility, I (usually!) love the kids, and I definitely love the feeling of contributing to society! I usually work about 2 days a week, but I could work 5 if I chose to. I spend my other days working out, grocery shopping, and doing all the things it takes to run a household. Today I helped a friend pack up her kitchen before her renovation. Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend at the gym and then I'm going to school to help with the Valentine's party. And I already have a sub job lined up for Friday. Things like that. I am not bored! Trust me, it'll amaze you how much your days become filled.

Hope that helps. If I were you, I'd wait and see how you feel after your youngest is in school FULL days. Give yourself that year. You deserve it. Plus, I don't think you'll be bored or turn to mush :)

I was a stay at home until I divorced. When the kids got into school I just started volunteering, running fundraisers, parish groups. The thing is if I couldn't make something it didn't impact anything because I wasn't being paid. If I wanted to work from home rather than go up to the school I could, no one cared.

I work now, even though I am remarried and don't have to I feel I am invested in my career and my younger kids are 12 and 14, it would be silly to quit. Still I do not have the time to do the things I did with my older two.

I know when you are home it seems like you have all this extra time but when you carve 40+ hours out of that you would be shocked how little you have left.

I'm still "home" 13 years later! Not what I fully expected, but the school years involve an awful lot of running around and my husband works long hours and travels for work. When my youngest started kindergarten I started volunteering a lot in school and through church. About 10 years ago I started working very part time at church, eventually increased those hours a little and have now cut back because I do contract work from home for my former full time employer. I also work out a lot at the Y. I feel very busy (often too busy) and my mind does not feel "mushy." My part time work is fairly intellectual (legal editor) and I am required to take continuing education classes. It's difficult to find a job that gives you the summers off; that's one reason I'm still "at home." Good luck.

Um..it will be 23 yrs in June...

Loved most mins of it. I told myself I would read 90 percent nonfiction books to keep my mind from going mushy. I have pretty much kept that.

I once did a sub job for an Art school. 1st day I went to work, my youngest came down with cat scratch fever. My H stayed home from work so I could be at a job that made tons less than he did. My heart just wasn't in it.
I knew even with a 7 yr old that working was not my priority. My H was like yours. Much less stress when I stayed home even through the teen years.

I have volunteered in elementary, a lot. Some in middle. Not much in high school. We see each other too much! When ever my H gets vacation time, we go. No scheduling conflicts. Lots of church activities.

I am very frugal and if a penny saved is a penny earned, I am pretty sure I made as much as H! Well, almost! I have removed wall paper, painted, caulked and repaired. I have made every drape in the house. I have garage saled, a lot. I have been mother to many of the kids friends.

I raised two of the best and smartest boys I have known. I shored up their weaknesses and shined up their strengths. I have put out many fires, figuratively. I have made aweful mistakes. I have saved the day on occasion. I have been up all night and got up too early.
I have cooked and cleaned and rocked and nurtured. I have been the finder of lost things and the filler of the craziest requests. I have been Johnny on the spot. I have lived through the terrible threes and garage band practices.
Many working moms have made the time to do most of these things, too.
But I made the choice not to miss a min of it to buy something else.
My H makes a good living. He has had good support on the home front and lots of homemade goodies instead of the new car he deserves.

We made do. Many times I have felt the push to work. When the last went to K. When he went to middle school. It just seemed like the challenges for them were greater and I could ease that time by being there. Good bye, new wardrobe. I'll stick with mom jeans and my old tennis shoes.

I hate that this has been what the world has come to. Justifying staying home. Being a homemaker. What a noble profession.

My daughter is 18 and will graduate in June.

When we started planning pregnancy, I left my corporate job in marketing at a major name snack food company. We were also in the process of building a home.

My husband has been in sales for years, and early on, he was in sales for other companies that were HQ out of state. He did travel a lot, sometimes 4 nights a week, etc.

Even after daughter was born, I acted as his customer rep and travel agent. After a while his customer called me because they knew I would know what mile marker he was on or about where in the air he was on a plane!!

I never worked outside the home until my daughter started K. When she started K, I volunteered a LOT and at the time, there was a shortage of substitute teachers. The principal asked me to consider subbing at their school and the idea was brilliant... I could sub at the school and have the exact hours as my daughter and bring in some spending money.

I've continued to sub in the same school throughout the years. Even when we started our own company in the same industry, I have managed to schedule a day or so at the school. If I had all 5 days a week available, I could very well be at the school daily.

Subbing provides a lot of flexibility. When hubby is out of town or I have functions with daughter, I don't schedule a job. I've been there so long I no longer get the late night or early morning calls... they know, my day is set by 7pm the night before.

I love it because I can continue to work with my husband in our industry and grow our business plus I bring in about $500 a month play money for me or extra cash because a teenager is expensive!! We don't "need" the sub money but I "need" to sub because I love the children. I was asked why I continue to sub when I have a successful business... I responded.. some people take a sick day from work for a "mental health day" and when I come to school to sub... it is my "mental health day" . I step away from the accounting, reports, running numbers, being CFO and step into another area I have grown to love. The multiple income streams is just a plus.

At the same time, I am have always been very involved with volunteering at my daughter's schools. She is a cheerleader and now varsity captain. I have been President of the cheer boosters, Secretary, Chairperson of fundraising, as well as active with the respective PTA boosters. There is never any time for me to get the blahs (except for February when I get Spring Fever really badly).

I've always enjoyed being home when my daughter gets home from school. It STILL is a bonding time for us, especially with her crazy school schedule.

Now in the fall of 2013 when she is a plane ticket away at college, I'll be missing her like crazy but I know she'll be having a blast.

You should just look for a 10-20 hour a week job. Start when you feel like you have enough time and make sure it is flexible so you can stay home when either kid is sick! I just started working 10-15 hrs a week and I'm loving it! I still have time to do the house cleaning/errands and volunteer at my kid's schools. I am a biologist and got a part time writing job for a science research group in our area. When my first born was in preschool I worked 20 hours a week in a marine lab for NOAA. I worked for the nicest people and the job was very flexible. I've also had a 10-15 hour a week job doing some research for a couple university professors...in marine science. I also ended up doing a little writing for them. The writing jobs are nice bc you can go in to your office or do it at home. The lab job I had to be at the NOAA building. :) Good luck finding something fun to do!

I work in an elementary school so I have the same vacations as my kids!
I stayed home till the oldest was in school, put my daughter in daycare, (I didnt have a choice at the time) then when my youngest came along 13 yrs later, I was lucky, my husband scheduled his work around my schedule and stayed home whenever I worked. If I were you I would look for something part time:)

I've been a SAHM for just over 10 years. My youngest is in 4th grade. I do some volunteer work (Art Goes To School and home room mom) but that does not fill my days. I was a cafeteria aid one day a week for an entire year and really did not like it:).
When I had my oldest my husband told me I really needed to find a hobby. After trying several different things I finally found that doing glass art made me so happy. I now have my work in a gallery and devote a considerable amount of time to my art. I also exercise at least 1 hour per day.
Additionally, I have taken on assisting in the care of my husband's 99 year old grandmother (doctor and dentist appointments etc) and looking after his aunt who has dimentiia and lives in a nursing home.
My hobby has brought more fulfillment and joy into my life than I ever could have imagined. If you do not have a hobby I highly recommend you find something that you can feel passionate about besides of course your family.
Like you, my husband, wants me to be happy and enjoys the flexibility our family has since I stay at home.

I've been home for nearly 4 years, and just signed myself up for another 5 years (expecting a baby later this year.)

I don't want to go back to teaching, because I know I don't have the organizational skills necessary to be the type of teacher my students deserve and the type of mom my kids deserve.

We have started to do some property management on the side, as we bought 2 investment townhomes that we are renting out. That has been very interesting to me, and it gives me something to do to get my feet wet in a different industry. We may end up turning it into a property management firm, since we've had some inquiries into whether I'd like to manage properties for some other families too. That is something I do when it is convenient for me.

Depending upon how many units we end up with it could be as little as a few hours a month to a full time job. We're kinda in control of it, which is exactly the type of job I need once my kids are all in school. I want to be available to participate in my kids' schools and activities, which is something that was sorely missing from my own childhood. My parents could never make it to my games, and only got to go to my chorale concerts because they were after 7 pm. I also want to make my house a refuge for my kids and their friends. I want them to feel comfortable and safe, and still be able to supervise them, as they get older. I plan to be the hangout so I can get to know my kids' friends and their parents.

I've also tossed around the idea of working at the YMCA, which supposedly has great benefits when you factor in childcare arrangements.

My (only) child is in grade 4.
I am very blessed to have a PT job with lots of flexibility with regard to start/stop time and its up to me how many days/hours I work every week. Some weeks 2 days per week, lately 4.
This allows me volunteer time at the school, appointments for me, etc
I suspect once you have two in school, homework, activities, paperwork, etc will ramp up quite a bit. So the flexibility is very nice.
I would be really bored if I didn't work-especially since he's been in school all day. That's ME
This works well for me--PT work. And the income is nice too!
Moving forward, not sure what I'll do. I've been asked to go FT. I don't think I want that right now though, so I'm keeping it as is for now.

I have primarily been a SAHM for ten (nearly 11) years now. I have worked part time (9-12 hours/week) the whole time, except for my one year mat leave after each baby was born. I also do before and after school child care at home and casual babysitting. I also work as a lunch suopervisor at my kids school. I work in a job that I can bring my kids to in the summer. My kids are both in school full time now, and since they were both in school I started taking the educational assistant course by distance education, so when I do work full time I will be working school hours. I do volunteer work at church and school too.

My friends who love to work and do not have regular babysitting have become para-professionals in the schools. They assist children w/ special needs. These ladies work the school schedule and are off on all the snow days, summers, ETC...

Some of my friends substitute in one class all day.

My friends who work FT put their kids in full time camp during the summer months. One friend has her parents in the same town and available to watch her 2 boys and 1 girl all summer.

I have 2 friends who have 5 kids each (and husbands). They do laundry all week...LOL---Neither work outside the home.

I became a certified parenting instructor years and years ago because a relative was available to watch my child (luckily) while I took all the classes. It was a great educational experience.
I taught parenting at night for yrs.

Dana is 120 % right about teens. It's important to be around for tweens and teens !

I've been a SAHM since my daughter was born 10 years ago.
Then, once both my kids were in Elementary school, I got a part-time job... AT their school.
THUS, I have the same schedule/vacations/breaks as they do. SO that, I can STILL take them to school and pick them up after school, SO that, they do not have to go to after school care, at the school.

MANY Moms, try to get jobs at their kids' school, for this very reason.
It is just smart and handy, per scheduling and still being able to be home with your kids, too.

I have never been idle since I have been a SAHM. In fact, it is very busy everyday. EVEN if my kids are in school. My brain does not get mushy. I am constantly... busy. ALL day.

I'm still home, but now work from home. For me, it's the best of both worlds. I didn't really give up working completely when my kids were born, but I slowed way down with the freelancing I was doing. I went back to almost full time when my youngest was about 2. I love the very flexible schedule, time after school with the kids, ability to be home with them when they are sick, etc. There are days when I dream of being a SAHM without working, but I love my work and really don't know if I could let it go. I enjoy that I am helping with the burden of breadwinning so my husband can also work with me at home and not be away from our kids all day. We're lucky, but don't get me wrong, there are a ton of late nights and early mornings with deadlines and responsibilities. Most days are fantastic though.

In your case, I would wait, I was surprised with how much the kids needed me once they were in school full time. It seems odd, since they need you so much when they are little. There are all kinds of papers to deal with, school work to help with, field trips, school parties, all kinds of activities if you choose to do that. I do have moments when I know I could stay just as busy as a full time SAHM with kids in school. I would have a clean, organized home, cook lovely meals and work out each day, have snacks ready, shopping done, presents bought and wrapped ahead of time, parties planned. Or, at least I hope I would!

I worked 1 weekday job and 1 weekend job all through my pregnancy, as in leaving work one day with labor contractions and my husband calling in to the other job to say I wouldn't be returning for awhile. I now work part time on weekends (I have 1 child in school, and a 3 year old with me at home). I work around my son's soccer games, and have nights free for 2 dates/month. My job is really just for "fun money" to be able to provide 2 days a week of half day mother's day out (because my 3 year old BEGGED to go to school like his big brother and I realized he wanted some time with peers doing his own thing too), and extra activities (sports, little adventures, etc), and just to keep current and not have a few years gap of "nothing" on my resume. When my youngest goes to school full time in 2 years, I'll try to find a job that will allow me to work when they're in school or maybe work late nights after everyone is asleep and then sleep in the day while they're gone. It's a priority to me to be able to be home and awake when they're home from school, to be there with them and for them. I'm still walking through it all, step by step, trying to figure it out as it comes, but that's my plan and what I'm working on.

I'm a SAHM, but I'm also a WAHM. Granted, I didn't stay home with my daughter until she was 5 and starting Kindergarten; I worked full time out of the house when she was little. (basically, my job just paid for daycare). When she started school, I got my freelance editorial business up and running. So I work from home while she's in school and am a content editor for e-pubbed fiction books. It's a part-time job. It keeps me busy, keeps my skills sharp, provides me with a continuing employment history, and brings in a little extra change on the side.

My daughter is now in the 7th grade and is busier than she's ever been. She is a lot more active doing school activities now, which means more running around/dropping off and picking her up. I'm here when she gets home from school and needs to talk/vent (she has sensory issues) so we can get any issues taken care of, and I help her with homework.

Having my own business allows me to rearrange/keep my own time schedule. Remaining at home has helped the stress level in our household immensely. There were a couple times when our daughter was younger and we both worked out of the house full time that our marriage was in serious trouble because of the stress (both the stress of us working full time/not having enough time to get all the errands done as well as the stress of having a child with special needs). Now I can run errands during the week so that our evenings are open (well, except for Tuesday night dance, Wednesday night Confirmation, and Thursday night church) as well as the weekends so we can actually do things together as a family rather than having those times dedicated to running around doing errands--which we had to do when we both worked. Our daughter HATED it and had many meltdowns because she just couldn't take the overstimulation.

I also am thankful my husband makes enough that I am able to remain home.

I am going to begin studying for a new career here shortly as soon as I find a program I am interested in pursuing. I'll be able to intersperse studying with my PT editing. I'm actually really looking forward to getting going on this new career track. What I want to do will allow me to still work for myself, but I'll be working with clients, so I'll have interaction (right now, it's just me, the dog, and the cat at home during the day).

I'd suggest finding something you are interested in and go for it. Whether it's taking up a new hobby or a new sport/exercise option, or maybe going to school to learn a new skill or start a new career (or just taking classes because you're interested in them), there are so many different things you can find/think of to fill your day. Maybe volunteer at the local raptor recovery/rehabilitation center or the humane society. Maybe you've always wanted to learn how to work with stained glass. Maybe all those new and different yoga classes have caught your eye. Just think of something that interests or inspires you and go out and do it!

Oh! And I am so busy with my job and errands and taking care of my daughter/playing chauffeur that my house is NOT speck'nspan.

I am working my way back into work. My youngest will be in elementary school f/t in a year and a half. I am slowly updating my professional credentials and will start my own p/t practice. I know several women who successfully work p/t as professionals b/c they do not work for others.

I work PT. You can also think about things you can do for yourself during that time. Is there a class you'd enjoy - either educational or physical? Would you like to volunteer, either at the school or somewhere else in the community? I see nothing wrong with going back to work, or continuing to stay home. I would continue to talk to your DH because it's more than just dollars and cents. My DH mostly supports me being home, but the expectation is there that when DD is in school FT I will work more, whatever that turns out to be.

When my sks hit late middle and HS, we spent a lot of time taking them to/from things and often I picked up SD after school events when DH was still at work.

Why not find a great volunteer job where you can set your own schedule, thereby no conflicts while hubby travels?

You'd be amazed at how many "career" volunteers there are.