SAHM Wanting to Get Back to Work

Updated on October 29, 2013
M.M. asks from Buffalo, NY
12 answers

I have been a SAHM for three years, but I don't think I am cut out for it. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity, but I am ready to return to the working field. Previously, I taught for five years. I am not looking on returning to the teaching profession. I want a fresh new start. Although I have no idea what exactly it is I want to do. Unfortunately, I don't think my current degree will get me anywhere, but teaching, and I don't believe I have the time or money to return to school. So, my question is where do I begin? Am I crazy for pursuing this? My DH is not completely on board with my idea. He wants me home with our three year old and two month old. Consequently, at this point I believe I need to do something outside of the home. Any advice, stories, or suggestions?

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Maybe work at night, when Hubby is home with the kids.

Because, no matter if a woman is a SAHM or working, the Husband ALSO has to do things and help with the kids AND the household.
It just is.

Or, get another type of job position, at a school. It does not have to be 'teaching' per say.
Or just a part time job at a school.

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

I get it- I'm not the SAHM type and I'm not ashamed of that. Some may poo-poo me, but I don't care. I told my husband if he wanted someone to stay home with the kids, then he can quit his job and go for it. :) I had a huge amount of family support, so the F/T working mom thing was much easier for me than some, I think.
Just remember a happy mom is a good mom.
How about looking for a job at a university? It doesn't have to be a professor type thing, but administrative assistant or something like that? Start low and work your way up. Make sure as you are looking for jobs where the employer has flexibility for your family. Kids get sick, have appts, etc. Maybe a job that allows telecommuting, so you can work from home when kids are sick.
Anyway, hope this helps!

7 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

So you're getting houseatosis are you? I am going to give some advice here...kids don't stay little forever and I am sure lots of men or women who stay at home get this urge because in some cases it is freeing having your own money, it is difficult because babies need us constantly. While you explore what you might want to do you might want to consider this by wading in fairly slowly. Get a good babysitter once or twice a week and get some 'me' time. sit in the tub, go to the library and read magazines or take a Zumba class. Two months old is only eight weeks on this earth, think about that. And you are lucky that you don't have to be in a hurry to get a job like those who have been abandoned, widowed, or divorced or alone for whatever reason. I think DH and I would be happy to see you happy but not away from the children all the time.

4 moms found this helpful
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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

I started back to work as an Adjunct at the local university. I taught one class, two nights a week. My parents were able to watch my son at the time. After my second son was born, I still taught two nights a week, but my husband was home one of those nights and my parents watch the boys the other night. I did this for a couple of years, then I added a second class (and found a part-time sitter). Now I work full-time and love it!

When I was working part-time, I felt like a much better mom. I really needed a little time away from the boys and to be around other adults. But I also found that after having a few hours away from the boys, I was excited to see them again. I felt refreshed, and I definitely had more patience.

I highly recommend trying to find something part-time. They pay is usually not great, but if it gets you out of the house and trying out your skills it might be worth it. It might give you a chance to explore some options and see what you'd like to do full-time.

Good luck!!!

2 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Everyone is not cut out to be a SAHM. That said, there are a lot of things you can do as a SAHM that is still fulfilling and you are with your children.

What does your husband do? In my case... my hubby has been in outside sales for over 20 yrs. His employers were usually in the Northeast and we are based in TX. He did not have solid customer service support.

I was home with our daughter. I also acted as hubby's customer support and I managed all of his travel arrangements, etc. Fast forward about 15 yrs, we now own our company in the same industry. By me acting as his customer support, I learned more about the industry and it has been a very profitable move for us.

Also, can you enroll your 3 yr old into a Mother's Day Out program for 1-3 mornings a week? This will free up some time for you to spend with your 2 month old, get some errands run and have a little time.

Do you have anyone who can babysit for you? You do need some time to yourself. Get a sitter so that you have an opportunity to lunch with friends, get a mani/pedi, massage, etc. This will do you a world of good. You can also incorporate volunteer opportunities here.

Do you and hubby ever have date night? We felt (and still do) that it is a priority for marriage. We had weekly date nights throughout our daughter's growing up and still do.

If you still feel the desire to be working outside the home, what about part time? Since you are a qualified teacher, how about tutoring? Academic tutor's start at $50 and hour around here. How about substitute teaching?

I also substitute teach and have for 13 yrs. It is not much money but it does give me a break from the daily number crunching and work on our company. It is a mental break for me and I love the children.

Best wishes to you and I hope you find a balance. Again there is something to be said about being home with the children. They are little once and before you know it, they'll be off to college. The time flies.

2 moms found this helpful
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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Everybody is different. If you don't feel like you can do it anymore then
it's best to find an alternative.
I think I can understand why your husb feels this way but this is an individual feeling. Yours. Can he stay home with your son? If not, do
you have a trusted family member you can have watch your kids? You
can even pay them. See if they would do it for less than a childcare
place so you can justify a lower than teaching salary.
Btw, I completely understand not wanting to return to your orig professional field. I, too, do not with to go back into my previous field. I do not have the desire or the fortitude to work so much overtime w/young
kids.
Why don't you see if you can work for the school in a different capacity (reception, food service, tutoring etc) so you can have the same schedule but nto the same stress/position?
What about working only part time? Anywhere?
Even part time would do YOU a world of good, bring in some income & not keep you away from your kids as much.
If not working for the school, how about any office in your area?
Working for the city?
If your husb is home, could you work at night while he is at home? Like the mall or a restaurant? I know, not ideal but just an idea.
Put your resume together, hone your skills, make sure you have an interview outfit then an additional one ready to go. Best of luck. Let us know what you ended up doing.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

If you're not cut out for it, you're just not. You have to be happy in what you do or you'll be a sad & angry mommy.

Try a job opposite your husband's work schedule for awhile. Something in retail, for example. It is probably not your new career path but it will get you back into the workplace, avoid a childcare issue and give your husband a chance to be as involved with the kids as you have been.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I assume you have a Bachelors degree from the college of education.

Have you considered going to school for a couple of semesters and getting a different degree or even a Master's?

If you stay within the same college for a different degree you would only have to take a few core classes for a second bachelors degree and if you went for a Master's you still would only have those core classes too.

You could teach at a junior college level with full tenure and pay/benefits. You could teach anything you wanted to or had an interest in. I imagine any Master's degree would accept you into their program but they may still require you to take some undergrad classes.

For instance, when I was a student at Oklahoma State University I was working on a BA in psychology in the College of Arts and Sciences. I considered changing my major to Family Relations and Child Development but it was a degree through the College of Home Ec, now called College of Human Sciences I think.

IF I had switched to a different college I would have had to take all their general ed requirements such as different math requirements and foreign language plus all the core classes for that degree.

My father in law retired from the military and got his bachelors degree from the college of education at MO state university. When he came to Oklahoma and got his Master's in Special Education he had to take 5-6 undergrad classes because Oklahoma required certain classes to be allowed to teach in their schools. Silly rules huh?

So going to school would get you out of the house a few hours per day and it would also give you some good mental stimulation.

I hate staying at home too. I can't work full time so I do stuff out of my home and I do some outside jobs but they are very few hours per week.

If you really want to go back to work full time right now then perhaps you can find something to do in retail. Many companies are hiring seasonal employees. This can give you a bit of work history to put on an application. It would also give you a dip in the work force with your toes...so to speak.

You could see how you feel after working again and see how kiddo's adjust to child care. It could be a trial run.

Updated

I assume you have a Bachelors degree from the college of education.

Have you considered going to school for a couple of semesters and getting a different degree or even a Master's?

If you stay within the same college for a different degree you would only have to take a few core classes for a second bachelors degree and if you went for a Master's you still would only have those core classes too.

You could teach at a junior college level with full tenure and pay/benefits. You could teach anything you wanted to or had an interest in. I imagine any Master's degree would accept you into their program but they may still require you to take some undergrad classes.

For instance, when I was a student at Oklahoma State University I was working on a BA in psychology in the College of Arts and Sciences. I considered changing my major to Family Relations and Child Development but it was a degree through the College of Home Ec, now called College of Human Sciences I think.

IF I had switched to a different college I would have had to take all their general ed requirements such as different math requirements and foreign language plus all the core classes for that degree.

My father in law retired from the military and got his bachelors degree from the college of education at MO state university. When he came to Oklahoma and got his Master's in Special Education he had to take 5-6 undergrad classes because Oklahoma required certain classes to be allowed to teach in their schools. Silly rules huh?

So going to school would get you out of the house a few hours per day and it would also give you some good mental stimulation.

I hate staying at home too. I can't work full time so I do stuff out of my home and I do some outside jobs but they are very few hours per week.

If you really want to go back to work full time right now then perhaps you can find something to do in retail. Many companies are hiring seasonal employees. This can give you a bit of work history to put on an application. It would also give you a dip in the work force with your toes...so to speak.

You could see how you feel after working again and see how kiddo's adjust to child care. It could be a trial run.

Updated

I assume you have a Bachelors degree from the college of education.

Have you considered going to school for a couple of semesters and getting a different degree or even a Master's?

If you stay within the same college for a different degree you would only have to take a few core classes for a second bachelors degree and if you went for a Master's you still would only have those core classes too.

You could teach at a junior college level with full tenure and pay/benefits. You could teach anything you wanted to or had an interest in. I imagine any Master's degree would accept you into their program but they may still require you to take some undergrad classes.

For instance, when I was a student at Oklahoma State University I was working on a BA in psychology in the College of Arts and Sciences. I considered changing my major to Family Relations and Child Development but it was a degree through the College of Home Ec, now called College of Human Sciences I think.

IF I had switched to a different college I would have had to take all their general ed requirements such as different math requirements and foreign language plus all the core classes for that degree.

My father in law retired from the military and got his bachelors degree from the college of education at MO state university. When he came to Oklahoma and got his Master's in Special Education he had to take 5-6 undergrad classes because Oklahoma required certain classes to be allowed to teach in their schools. Silly rules huh?

So going to school would get you out of the house a few hours per day and it would also give you some good mental stimulation.

I hate staying at home too. I can't work full time so I do stuff out of my home and I do some outside jobs but they are very few hours per week.

If you really want to go back to work full time right now then perhaps you can find something to do in retail. Many companies are hiring seasonal employees. This can give you a bit of work history to put on an application. It would also give you a dip in the work force with your toes...so to speak.

You could see how you feel after working again and see how kiddo's adjust to child care. It could be a trial run.

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

Have you thought about becoming a trainer? This is usually an easy transition for a teacher.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I felt this way after my oldest was born. I ended up going back to work PT which was great but my husband encouraged me to get a hobby. I then had 2 more kids and decided to stay at home. They are in 10th and 5th grade and I still am at home loving it!! My hobby has turned into a way to make a little extra money although I still spend more on it than I make.

Your husband is giving you an incredible opportunity. Try to enjoy it and find a hobby. If you find something to be passionate about it may be more fulfilling than any new career you will ever find.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

If you want to work and you don't want to teach, you likely do need to go back to school. See how much aid you qualify for - it may be enough since presumably you won't need room and board like traditional students. I think you need to figure out what field you would like to work in to figure out what education you need. If your husband wants someone to stay home with the kids, let him do it. If he doesn't think he is cut out for that - hmmm, neither are you. I never considered staying home and was actually stir crazy by the time DS was 4 weeks old - I went back to work PT at 4 weeks and FT at 9 weeks. I think happy fulfilled parents make for happy, resilient kids.

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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Could you volunteer somewhere to get some skills for a resume? You could pick up administrative skills for your resume a lot of places - the local library, animal shelter, or some other organization that will make you feel good, get you out of the house for a few hours on a regular basis, AND enhance your skill set.

Of course, you'll have to find the $$ for child care during the volunteer hours, but it will cost less than paying for more education+childcare while you are in class.

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