Same Every Day

Some people get 'bored' and some don't.
It comes from within... or your having something you want/need but don't know what it is.

What WOULD make you feel fulfilled?

My Husband asks me sometimes, "don't you get bored everyday with the kids? ....doing the same things?" and I say "no. I'm not bored..." because I am not and I know myself.

Put it this way: some people have great busy lives, doing lots of things, have social lives and outings and accolades and hobbies and what not and everything they could ever want and money to boot. BUT they are STILL "bored."

It is not about how 'busy' you are... but about fulfillment... inwardly. Internally. Until you find what fulfills you... just you... the 'feeling' of boredom... will be there.

all the best,
Susan

I Think you are looking at your life as a rut, but what it is is stability, know a few woman who would love what you have. I have been a SAHM my whole life, my kids are 26, 23, and 21, and I am still a SAHM and when I start to feel like I'm in a rut, I think about people know have no idea from day to dy how they will feed their children, or pay their bills. You talk about going back to school, you can take on line classes, you can increase your hobbies/activities, yur son is 5 so i will assume he is in kindergarden, so maybe you can take that time to do something different. With what you say you have, more will full fill you for a time, but eventually you will be right where you are right now.n When i feel I need a change, I move the furniture around, change curtains, do projects around the house, and that full fills me. hope this helps. J.

I know you've already gotten a bunch of answers, but I just wanted to say that I understand where you are coming from and have felt the same way at times. There are times when I'd really like to go back to work too, but it would be so stressful for us because my husband's work can be so unpredictable.

Anyway, one thing we did this year was join a church. We're not super religious people but we found a church that is a really great fit for us in all aspects. I've been singing in the choir and it is so nice to get out with adults once a week and do something I like to do. I'm also looking forward to being able to volunteer more and help other people instead of focusing on myself - it's a nice change from being the only adult around all the time. I think taking a class online is a great idea. Just being able to get out of your own head for awhile has been a help to me. You are not alone and good luck.

I hear what you are saying. As wonderful as it is to be a SAHM, sometimes things just drag. Been there! What is working for me is to do some serious thinking about my purpose and my mission in life. Google "how to write a personal mission statement". Basically, I am coming up with what I want for my life (my passion, what makes me feel fulfilled), and then working on a plan to do it. With a new baby coming, you may need to think pretty long term, but having a plan helps. What do you really love to do? What are your talents? What do you consider to be the most important contribution you can make in the future to the most important people in your life? What are the single most important things you can do that will have the greatest impact and help balance your life? Think in the following areas: physical, mental, social/emotional, and spiritual.
I have friends that are moms and those who aren't. On the surface, we might have very little in common, but it's great to stretch yourself and learn from people who are different, too. Believe me, their lives are not any easier or harder than yours (it varies from day to day), but just different.

Good luck and blessings to you!

Marianne, If you think you may like to dabble in an in home business....It keeps you busy...we do some online/telephone training, you can use the online university to learn more and you can make a little to boot. (as much as you think you would like to put into it) We do alot of our business on the internet and it is just interesting and I'm learning a lot. Give my web a check...www.livingwithsolutions.com If you want to talk more give me a call. I am always home. I also do some networking with some friends I met here. Started cause I got married and moved to Toledo from Detroit and needed something to do while my hubby was working and we did a lot of travel and I could do this on the road also. Let me know...Good Luck
S.

maybe you can try to form a mommy group? I got involved in one here, and it's been really nice. We get together for play dates with the kids, and once a month or so we have mommy's night out. You could also look and see if your library had a story time, ours does 2 times a week, which is fun.

The only thing that you didn't mention was GOD. I found by seeking him, my life is filling. Even though I'm a sahm and my husband just lost his job due to lay off's this past week I still know that we will be ok because GOD is the center of our lives. We moved 2 years ago in June to a house that would accommodated 5 in our family plus my mother-in-law. In July she moved in and then in Aug 08 my husband lost his job due to a lay off. We survived and he found another job in March 10. We were very gratefully that he got to work 4 mths on a contact and is now looking for another job. I guess what I'm trying to say is that without GOD we would have lost ourselves in this hardship. I pray that we will be able to survey this hardship as well without losing our house.

I pray that you find your missing link in your life and that maybe it's GOD that you are looking for.

God Bless,

R

YES I DO!!
Funny you ask because I was thinking about it last night!
Well, kind of.
A year ago, we use to live in a huge house with a huge pool in a gated community, my husband was and is a great men, I have 2 healthy kids (the little one has eczema and some allergies but I think she is very bless in comparation to other kids).
However I was still no satisfy, but it wasn't because money or my family but because of me. I was jealouse of my husband for go out and grow as a person, learn new things. My life didn't seem as important.
Which is funny because I actually always wanted to be a stay at home mom, with 3 kids and a dog and a house on the beach, lol.
I only had 2 kids and no dog but close enough.
Last year we lost everything, everything.
I can't explain how that have change my life, no that I wish that to nobody.
I am just saying that, I was there, to hold my family together, to kiss my poor husband, to keep my kids busy so they don't suffer so much the change, finding new ways to save money.
Things start to get better, and I am still want to be something more, I have being thinking seriously about becoming a social worker. I found that is my passion.
What is your passion in live? What makes you stay awake thinking and not being able to sleep? what was your dream as a kid? What would you want for your kids? Sometimes we want for our loved ones what we would want for us but can't have or don't know we want.
I think you have to find your passion in live, and I am not talking about you as a mom or as a wife, but as a woman. Once that you start looking maybe you get surprise and you find what you need is in front of you or you could find a whole new horizon.

You might want to try doing a Bible study. That was one thing that brought me out of my doldrums. Whether you are religious or not, it gives you much bigger things to think about and something to strive for.

Blessings,
Julia

What do you do for YOU? You mentioned scrapbooking and knitting... but what do you do for YOU to get YOU out of the house and away from the kid for a few hours a week? You have to do something. YOU are YOU. You are not JUST a mom and wife. YOU have special talents and interests that you simply can not ignore. You will be a MUCH better mom and wife if you take care of yourself -- and that includes nuturing your interests and getting a break from the kids. I know too many SAHMs that think they have no right to have a 'life' away from their kids and that's completely opposite of the truth. In a few years, your kids will be gone most of the day - what will you do then? Live vicariously through your kids? No - you're an adult, take time for yourself and nuture your interests.

Join a scrapbooking group that meets once a week or twice a month or whatever. Join a mother's group (there are many around to choose from) so you meet and hang out with other moms near you (and you can swap playdates so you get a break!). If you enjoy sports, find a team and play once a week (most park departments have a good adult sports program). Love animals? Volunteer at a local shelter or nature center?

I'm always asked how I can play ice hockey 1-2 nights a week with 3 young kids.... I always tell them I play >because< I have 3 young kids at home. I come home recharged, ready to see my kids and much less stressed than when I left. I love my kids and love staying home with them, but seriously, it's nice to have an adult conversation and talk about stuff other than babies/sleeping/diapers/feeding/etc. :-)

Hire a sitter and get out of the house. Don't feel guilty about it - you NEED this for your mental health. Some people will say they don't need it, fine - everyone is different. But if you were fine with it, you wouldn't have posted in the first place.

I think all SAHM moms feel both bored and terribly busy. It's an interesting combination.

I concur with the woman who suggested a mom's group. If you aren't part of one you should consider joining. Sometimes it's just the lack of adult time that creates the boredom. You may also consider taking a class at your community center or community college. And don't let the fact that you stay home and others have careers keep you from your old friends. That is one little difference - you still have a lot in common with real adults. :)

Honestly, it sounds to me like you are not so much bored as you are lonely and craving adult interaction. You could even join a book club if you like to read!

Good luck!
T.

I think every mother should do what is best for them personally. However- I have to say, I was lucky enough to be a SAHM when my son was small. Now he is 10 and I have to work full time, and honestly, I would give almost anything to be able to stay home again.

Remember that as a SAHM- YOU have the power to make your own schedule! It is so easy to fall into a rut and just do the same old things, or only put on sweatpants or go to the little kid park and never hang out with grownups. But you don't have to do that!

If you CHOOSE to go back to work or to school again, that's great. But remember too, that you can pursue all sorts of interests because you have the TIME to do so! You could take up painting during naptime. Meet up with a girlfriend for a coffee-playdate. Take up jogging while your son is at soccer... the possibilities are endless if you just use your time the way YOU want to and don't fall into the habit of doing the same old stuff all the time.

Please value you the time you have as a SAHM- not just because of how fortunate you are to spend time with your kids, but also because YOU are in charge of your own schedule and how things are going to go! Don't forget that- and I bet you will be much happier!

If you've made some new friends down there, how about starting a co-op w/ some other moms? You guys can SHARE cooking, shopping, recipes, etc. There are moms that get together and fix meals and then share them so they have more family time, etc. This would give you more time w/ friends AND be productive at the same time.

Or.....how about teaching scrapbooking or getting involved in a scrapbooking or knitting club? Start one if there isn't one. What about a Bible study or women's book club? Again, you'd be involved w/ adults, meeting new people, developing relationships AND utilizing your gifts, talents and focusing on something you like to do.

What about starting an in-home business? There are all kinds of opportunities out there for that, regardless of whether you want to start it from the ground up or work for someone else.

Honestly, I think that being a mother is one of God's greatest gifts. Don't focus on what you don't have, focus on what you do. There are millions of women who'd love to be in your shoes. It's a PRIVILEDGE to be a mother. Enjoy every second!

Why not schedule an outing to a zoo, water park, etc EVERY week or every other week with one of your new friends. If they aren't moms and you don't think they'd enjoy something like this, then how about scheduling some time to go to lunch, coffee or something with a friend, neighbor, or family member.

Plan get togethers or card parties, or whatever for the friends you do have.

Might want to pick up a copy of PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE by Rick Warren, too. This might help change your perspective.

I think if you get involved in your son's school and meet some parents you'll be much happier. If you are home, you are available to volunteer in the classroom, be the room mom, and be there when they get off the bus. Pretty soon, you're going to be so busy, you aren't going to be able to fit the laundry in...
Enjoy your time!
LBC

Yep that pretty much somes up my life too but i am a full time working mom. My suggestion to you is to get out. Join a gym and start working out. you can do those Zumba/dance/ or cycling classes they offer. That will get you in really good shape plus you can socialize and make new friends. Working out also gives you natural endorphines and puts you in a good mood so you will have more energy to play with your babies. Most Gyms have a daycare and it may cost you $2 or $3 per hour so its very cost effective. Obviously you will want to do this after you have baby #2

Try reading the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. Talk to a minister or go to church. When we know why we exist it puts things in better perspective. Other wise everything can seem monotonous. Doing things will work for a while and then your back to that bored feeling again. Already been there done that.

I totally understand how you feel! I got married a little later (30) and was used to working, doing what I wanted, going where I wanted etc. When we had kids I decided I wanted to stay home, and I wouldnt change it. But there are days where I feel like Im in such a rut, that time drags on and I'm soooo bored and lonely. I try to keep my little one active and give him alot of attention, but then balance housework, cooking etc. By the time my husband gets home I feel like we'll eat dinner spend some time as a family, but then the exact same patter will start the next day. It is hard, but Im sure if I had to work full time, I'd be disappointed with that as well! try to join some groups like others have said, MOPS, mommy and me, etc. It does help. And don't feel bad, we've all been there!

Have you ever considered going back to school? Unlike working part time you could take online classes and still be there for the kids while your husband is away. I found it very fulfilling, and actually just finished my associates in Psychology. With 3 kids and baby number 4 due in December, I don't know when I will ever use it, but it was nice to do something just for me.

Wow, I know what you mean. It can get so lonely & monotonous being home with young kids all day. I also get jealous of my husband because he gets to go to work and talk to grown ups! When my first was almost a year old I joined MOPS (Mothers of Pre-schoolers) and now I can't live without it. Check www.mops.org to find groups in your area. It helped me connect with other women who are going through the same thing. Good luck!

A good life is not one size fits all. A happy Mommy is a good Mommy. Take stock of what makes you happy. I think most of us stay at home Moms feel this way from time to time. Investing time in myself has made me feel better about myself. I have put my children in daycare at the gym while I work out. It is all about me for a little bit then I come back feeling good about me. Then I am a better mom. I am ready to focus on my kids then. I am guessing you scrap book your childs pictures and knit him things. Maybe even try new recipes for him or your husband. Just guessing. Working out has been my thing (I never worked out before). You need to find your thing for you. Jewlery making, pottery, martial arts, dance, golf....... I don't know your interests so it is a bit of a stretch with ideas.

Good luck and know you are not alone.

I am a SAHM and I don't feel this way. Might I remind you your life will be a whirlwind again soon with a baby with no time for scrap booking or knitting? Could it just be preg. hormones playing tricks with you or have you felt this since before pregnancy? I'll be the first to admit that my energy level is moderate at best so its all I can do to keep up with house work, a toddler, a small amount of volunteer work, a bible study class, excersize, and extra projects. Perhaps you are a really high energy person who is capable of taking on more and thats why you feel board. What about some C.C. classes: art, pottery, learning to edit video on the computer, or a bible study class or something that interests you. Perhaps its the social networking and interaction you are missing. I have had lots of side projects that have kept me more than busy since becoming a SAHM 3 years ago (I'm an artist/designer and have had art shows, I did my parent's kitchen remodel, and remodeled a room at my church with a committee). Not to talk about myself, just painting a picture of why some of us SAHM's don't get board and perhaps you could see ways to fill your days more productively as well based on your talents and skills. I would suggest you find a way to take on more and that doesn't necessarily mean going back to work.

Hi Marianne,
The first thing I thought when I read your post-don't beat up on yourself! It's normal for a mom with young children to feel out of touch with others and lonely at times-and maybe like something is missing somewhere. Particularly when your husband travels each week and you are pregnant! I doubt there is not a mom on this forum who cannot empathize with you. My husband traveled every week for two years-it was very stressful at times and our kids were older.
I agree with everything posted here in terms of possible solutions-getting out,exercise, a Bible study-and just seeking answers each day from God about his plan for your life.
I also understand your dilemna about wanting to work part-time and the logistics of that. My husband was downsized from an IT company several years ago, and in this economy it has been rough. He is also a photographer, and we found the most amazing home-based opportunity which we both work full-time in now. It is fun and lucrative and the perfect way to keep in touch with people. I'm going to give you his link-feel free to call either of us if you have questions. It is so much fun, even if you just want to send out cards to people or work very part-time-that is fine.
https://www.sendoutcards.com/lee2photos
Most of all, have fun and enjoy this special time in your life. They really do grow up too fast. Be easy on yourself-good moms have these feelings too!
Take care,
L.