Saying Goodbye to the Pacifier

My kids are 20 months a part. What I did for my 3 year old was first I limited the use just to bedtime. When he got up he had to leave his Binkies in his room. Then we finally collected all of them and sent them to his new baby cousin who needed them. He was very happy to send them off to a NEW BABAY. With my little one I let her keep hers, but I use to keep them in her crib and for the car only, when she was about 18 months old I told her they were yuck to throw them out and she did and never looked back. They say it is easire about 9 months to just take them away. If the baby does not seem too attached then just take them away when you do the older one.

I don't know if this will work for you. I had a hard time getting my three year old daughter off of hers. I took her to her first dentist appointment and the dentist just mentioned it to her off handly that the pacifier has to go bye bye. My daughter hasn't asked for it since and she is six now.

My friend told her 3 yr. old daughter that there were new babies far away that didn't have any binkies. She said they were very sad and were hoping that some nice older child would help them. Then she and her daughter tied all of her binkies together and then tied them to a bunch of colorful helium balloons with a note attached from her daughter. They took them into the backyard and the daughter said goodbye to her binkies and let the balloons go. Later, she asked for her binkies a few times but my friend reminded her that all the new babies had them and she seemed fine with that and eventually forgot all about them. Hope this suggestion help!

Hi I have 3 sons and all of them were dependent on the pacifier until age 3. I weened them all of the same first by discussing what was going to happen and that they were now a 'big boy" and it was a right of passage to give up there pacifier. We went to the store and allowed them to choose a new comfort item or toy. the pacifier was handed over in exchange. Now IF it was just that simple, there were several nights of sobbing and you just have to stick to your choice, as not to send mixed messages. After a few nights it will be a thing of the past. My middle son was a preemie and had oral motor issues the pacifier for him was also stimulation. I bought him a chewy tube it is a speech therapists tool for exercising the mouth. When I give it to him he maipulates it to his needs and it develops jaw muscles. This can only be purchased on line. Good Luck! PS I have also heard that if the child gives the pacifier to another baby that can work, just tell him the baby needs it now and he is too big.Make him feel good about the choice and make it his. You can remind him that the baby has it now when he ask for it.

Hi,
My daughter was also very attached to her pacifier; I made it a non-issue. (I honestly didn't see the harm in her using one and she was able to comfort herself when needed.) She gradually took it less and less, and in the end she only wanted it at bed time. I never denied her the pacifier; I was told if you take it away before the child is ready to get rid of it, they may find other pacifiers, such as thumb sucking (a habit that is much more detrimental to teeth and harder to break.) She finally became embarrassed about her pacifier (when other people were around) and stopped using altogether on her own. No fights, no trauma, no problems! I highly recommend MAM pacifiers. They have been developed in close collaboration with pediatricians and orthodontists. They have a symmetrical, anatomical shield that reduces pressure through the lips to the front teeth and reduces the tendency of curved teeth, something you cannot prevent with the thumb and many other brands of pacifiers.

I don't have experience with the older ones, but my daughter is 10 months. I was so worried about weaning her off of her pacifier. She never used it that much, but when her father left and we moved all at once, she needed it when she went to sleep. That was about two months ago. I pictured her going to first grade with it in her mouth. However I always limited it to the crib and the car once she was a little bit older.

BUT in the last couple weeks she started spitting it out and now she won't take it. I leave it in the crib in case she wakes in the night for now. But she doesn't use it; she only plays with it when she wakes up.

Might now help your situation with your older child, but maybe with your younger. Limit it to crib, car, and when they really seem to need it. Now that she can soothe herself, she doesn't want it at all.

My son had just turned 4 before we finally took the plunge. We talked about it a while ahead of time and then one Friday night we had him go around the house and find ALL his pacifiers (You have to find every one, even those hidden in the car seats.) He put them in a bag and hung them outside for the Pacifier Fairy. She would deliver them to all the babies who needed pacifiers. The next morning in the bag were some presents for him. We got him a really snuggly stuffed animal to help him fall asleep at night since we knew that is where he would miss it the most. That night he cried really hard about not having it. The next night just a little and after that he was OK. For about a month he mentioned it periodically and told me how much he missed it. I was able to be sympathetic (since it was the fairy and not me who took them away) and praise him for helping the babies who needed them. It actually went much better than I had feared. He was SO attached to it.
Good luck.

I also had a very hard time with my son. I had asked his doctor what to do and they said the best thing to do is to take them all away and throw them away. It will be hard at first but they will actually forget about them with in a couple of days. I thought it would be alot harder because my son always had it in his mouth. Out of sight out of mind. Good luck.

Dear R. I,
I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter, a 15 month old boy, and will have a newborn in 8 days! My daughter was also extremely attached to her pacifier. I thought she would never give it up, and like you I did not want to take it away from her for fear of her being slightly traumatized. We tried all the tricks in the book, none worked, I couldn't fool her. We ended up taking her 3 weeks ago for her first dental cleaning, and the Dr. noticed right away a gap in her bite. She explained to my daughter what was happening because of her sucking on the pacifier. She told her she couldn't have it anymore. After that day she never asked for it again. So if you have dental insurance, bring him in for a cleaning! It worked like a charm.

I explained to my 17th month old that he was too big to have his binki all day and that he could have it at nap and bedtimes, for awhile whenever he felt he needed it he would take them of his table and go sit in his bed and suck on them one at a time after about two weeks and several readings of the muppet baby BYE, BYE, PACIFIER( if you read this book...skip the page where Nana gives it back) he gave it up on his own. My friend had her child mail all his binkis to Santa so they could be made new for all the new babies who needed them(her mom)and her son felt so proud of himself and never asked for another one...as far as the baby goes only give him the binki when he is tired and needs to sleep not everytime he cries then he will rely on it less and will out grow the need for it on his own. I have 5 boys all used a binki and 3 of them got rid of them on their own before a year... not every child who uses one will hang onto it.

I'm not sure why you want to take his comfort away. If he is otherwise social why take what soothes. Is it for him or just how it looks? There are not many 21 year old men walking around with pacifiers except those who now pacify with cigarettes (the socially acceptable pacifier).
I have a daughter who sucked her thumb til she was 10. Our doctor said do you want to pay orthodontic bills or psych bills. We choose ortho (which she in the end didn't need). She gave it up on her own, now has a doctorate and is a very secure, well adjusted individual.
Let him have his comfort.

when my oldest son was two i decided to ween him from his binky. someone told me to cut it, so i tried. i took his binky when he wasnt payingany attention and cut the end off. when he would try to suck on it, there was nothing to suck on. after a while going through all his binkies, he gave up and never went for them again. now when i say cut the end, i mean cut the top off. if that is not enough then keep cutting. i hope this works as well as it did for me. good luck

I am a mother of three. All my children had pacifiers as babies. I found the best way to wean them off is the start making very slight holes in the pacifier. And every so often make the hole alittle larger. This way they lose the suction and the pacifier just keeps falling out. After awhile, they just lose interest. Make sure you don't have numerous pacifiers around the house either. Tell the child they have to stay in the bed so they don't get dirty. That way you just have to make holes in his 2 favorite pacifiers. Hope this helps.

Conveniently "loose" all of the extra pacifiers. Then, with the only pacifier left, (on garbage pick up day),cut a slit in it and turn it inside out so that it is disfigured. When your child puts it in their mouth, they will likely spit it out. Say "it's broken", have the child throw it in the garbage, take the garbage out to the streen. Have the child watch the garbage man pick it up. My son only asked once later that day for it and I reminded him that it was broken and went with the garbage man. This worked for both of my sons. Good luck.

We got rid of my daughter's on Christmas. I got the idea from my sister. What she did when my nephew was 2 1/2 was they left them all out for the easter bunny and in return my nephew got a few extra pieces of candy for being such a big boy. It was right when my daughter was born so he thought they were going to little babies now. So we did that with Santa Claus this year and it worked like a charm. She left them all out on a plate for Santa and we gave her the choice of having one last binky for the night and she said "no". Not only was she getting the prospect of a few extra presents but she was also in control of the whole thing (or at least she thought she was!) If you celebrate easter, it's coming up in a month and a half! You can start preparing him now for it so he knows when easter finally rolls around. Just remind him once a day until then. As far as the baby, I really don't have any advice for that. I didn't want to take my daughters away until she was old enough to understand why she couldn't have it anymore. She will be 3 in April. Good luck!!!

I took my three year old to Build-A-Bear and let him pick out a favorite animal and we made it together. Before they sewed it up we put his pacifier inside. Then he was able to go to bed with his pacifier very close to him. We had very few tears....

We did talk about what we were going to do every day for about two weeks before it happened and by the time the day arrived he was very excited to go and pick out his new stuffed animal.

My daughter was 26 mos old and my baby was 2 mos old when we took away her pacifier (she still has a blankie though)The "Pacifier Fairy" can come and take it one night and leave him a present. We built this up big time and got my daughter excited about it. It was hard the first night w/o it (she left it on the doorknob for the "fairy"), but it got easier. Unfortunatley, though, she gave up her naps along with it.
I would start, though, with new rules for three year olds: pacifiers are only allowed in beds and limit it only to his sleeping quarters.
As for the baby, they say the natural sucking/self soothing habit decreases at 6-7 months, so the timing may help. I would let the baby have his and play up the big brothers don't have pacifiers.

We gave both of our boys "binkies" to Santa....I have a 7.5 and 3 year old....he turned 3 2 days ago and is doing great without the binky, from the 1st day (I certainly didn't expect that since he was so attached to it). He asked for it once, but I told him we didn't have it, and that was that. I was quite surprised it was that easy for him, and I hope it will be for you. You never know, he can surprise you!!! What I did notice is that when they got old and damaged, he didn't want that one. If it had a crack he would suck air and want another. If you cut many of them and give them right after each other, he may want to quit asking because they don't provide the comfort that he was used to. That may work. GOOD LUCK!!! If you do put an intentional crack, make it small so he doesn't bite off the rubber and swallow it!!!! Slightly larger than a pin hole should do.
D.

when my son turned 2 i decided it was time to get rid of the pacifier, i was nervous cause he had it in his mouth at all times. what i did was tell him that he needed to give it to the new babies, they needed it because they were small and he was becoming a big boy, he listened and gave it up we put all his pacifiers on the window and i told him that the pacifier fairy would take them while he was sleeping and hand them out to all the babies that needed one. i was surprised to see that it worked, i thought he was going to cry about it, but i have to say he only asked for it a couple of times after that. hope this helps. good luck

Hi, I am a mother of one. We have a girl who will be 3 in May and she has recently become very attached to her pacifier as well. Although she is only permitted to have her pacifier for naps and sleep we have not weened her because of her recent and difficult transition to a bed, from her crib. I am afraid to do all the changes at once... However we will do so before her 3rd bday. We have told her that the pacifier fairy will soon arrive to take her pacifier and leave her a special gift.

We have friends who have done this successfully and we are hoping for the same. Of course the key will be making sure that the special gift left behind is signifcant enough to make the trade off worth while... I have not yet determined what that might be.

I hope this is helpful.

My son gave his up at 3 yrs old on his own. We kept it in his room on top of the bookcase. He'd ask for it, but wouldn't go up to get it. Leave it in his room. Tell him where it is if he wants to go get it himself. Most of the time their enjoying themselves to much to leave and get it. When he asks tell him it's in his room and he can get it there. Eventually he may give it up on his own. I'd honestly let the 6 mo old have it. It's very soothing to small babies to suck and if you take it now you may end up losing more sleep because of the crying and screaming. Eventually they'll both outgrow it on their own.

I had the same experience with my daughter last year after my son was born in April. She was very attached to her pacifier so as we were approaching her 3rd birthday, I introduced the idea of the pacifier fairy. I got some books for her to read about giving away the pacifier (The Binky Baba Fairy, No More Pacifier). I would talk about he pacifier fairy coming to take her pacifiers and bringing them to the new babies being born who needed them. The pacifier fairy would leave her a big girl present and I had her wish for something specific. On her birthday, the "fairy" came in the middle of the night and she was excited to see that she got what she wished for from the fairy. The first night, she asked for her pacifier and I gently reminded her that the fairy had taken them to the new babies. She did not get too upset and slept fine without it. Within 3 days, she never asked for a pacifier. It was amazing. There is hope because my daughter was very attached to them. She was the same way by having one in her mouth and one in each hand. Good luck.

Alot of people here are giving decent advice, but I am more of a just do it thinker, and deal with the repercussions as they come.. Not that I am a mean Mommy, but I dont play into my older sons dramatics. My little guy at age 1 wasnt ready to give up his bottle.. I procratinated for a bit, telling myself I just couldnt "do it to him", then I realized it was only because I really didnt want to hear him scream and actually deal with it.. So, I just got rid of all the bottles in the morning, and when he got up I gave him his favorite sippy with warmed milk, he took it and at first said, ba ba, but I said here you go take it, and he didnt fuss for it.. He had his moments, and I didnt give in, I just hugged him and kissed him and diverted his attention to a cool toy.. So give it a shot, do make it such a big deal, because then they see it as a big deal. Just remember Rome wasnt built in a day :) and patience is truelly a virtue ;)

I have a 2 1/2 year old and when she turned 2 I was determined to take the pacifer away. She was very attached to it as well and I thought it would be the hardest thing. I just told her that she is a big girl now and we have to give the pacifers to the babies. I just threw away ALL of the pacifers so that I would never be able to give in to her requests for one if she was freaking out. I was completelty shocked that she didn't even miss them. When she was tired she would ask for it but I just kept telling her she is a big girl now and we had to give the pacifers to the babies. Soon she was just telling everyone that she is a big girl now. I think she got it. I was really shocked how easy it was. I really made a big deal about how hard I thought is was going to be and it wasn't at all. I think doing it cold turkey is the least confusing for little ones.

Hi R.,
I have two children a girl almost 4 and a boy 2 1/2. My daughter was 2 1/2 when we had the paci fairy come. I told her she was coming so we had to collect them all so she could give them to babies with no paci's. I also told her she would leave her something. When she woke up she found a new doll and crib. She was so attached and it really wasn't a huge issue. There was nothing to give in to because they simply gone. Good luck.
D. M.

hi. my son is now 10 but when he was 3 1/2 i was faced with potty training and getting rid of the pacifier. From the time he was 10 mo or so, we only let him have the pacifier in bed and if he was sick. we had a "going away party"....picked his favorite food for dinner and dessert, had balloons and then left all his "yummies" on a plate with a note for the "yummy fairy", we took lots of pictures! when he woke up there was a truck in place of every yummy, he was thrilled and did okay from then on.
the one thing is that we talked about it for a few weeks and then i let him pick the date and we put it on the calendar.
with my almost 2yr old twins now, one takes a pacifier....i only let her have it in the crib and the car. she knows and takes it out of her mouth when it is time to get up. i figured that would make the struggle easier down the road. GOOD LUCK!!! :-)

I've known many friends and family members to utilize 'the paci fairy'. Kind of like the tooth fairy. My brother had his son hang them from a tree outside and in the morning there was a toy in their place. They explained to him that the paci fairy was going to take his pacis to little babies that needed them more. It worked well. Other ways have been done with the same premis (under the crib), just somewhere in the house, etc...
Anyway, I hope that helps. Remember, one day he won't have a paci. If he mostly utilizes it for bed and to 'pacify' himself, then I wouldn't worry too much. Good luck and I hope I was helpful.
N.

My daughter was also very attached to her pacifier. She would even carry it with her during the day. When she was almost 3 I slowly began to ween her off. First, I told her that "big girls" do not use it during the day... she was only allowed to use it at night. I also told her that when she turned 3 years old "the binky fairy" comes and takes all pacifiers away. We really tried hard to only use the binky at night, and gave her small rewards-stickers etc. When she turned 3 she placed her binkys under her pillow during a nap. When she woke up they were gone and there was a BIG (although inexpensive) present from the "binky fairy". She has never asked for a binky since.
Hope this helps...good luck.

hi, I had the same type of problem with my older daughter. She loved her 'binkies' and would even ask for each one by color, as if they had a different taste! By the time she was approaching 3, I was getting worried, because not only is it unbecoming but it can interfere with the growth of the teeth. My solution was to bring her to the dentist for her first dental checkup, and HE told her that it was time to give it up, not good for her, etc. So then when she wanted it, I had to tell her that the dr. said no. She accepted this really well, thankfully, and I think she was ready to give it up anyway.

I've read all of the other replies and have not seen one replying to you regarding making the six-month-old give up his pacifier along with the 3-year-old. Why are you making both of them give it up? I can see the 3-year-old but why the 6-month-old? He's still a baby and may need the soothing. Why allow one child to have it until 3 but only the other one until 6 months? It doesn't seem fair for the li'l one. Maybe the 3year old can "give" his binky to the baby and that's how you can get the older child to give it up. As for the 6month old, I say, give it a year or 2.

Our son is 22 months old and loves his pacifier. We decided at 2 we'll work on giving it to him only at nap time and for bed and slowly ween him off. Good luck!